


True Romance

by dickren



Series: Soul Mate [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Modern AU, book 2 of soul mate, i suck at tags 2.0, minor profanity?, so much romance im gonna puke, soft smut if u must, this is pure romance, weeew, will add more tags and characters throughout
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-07-14 04:29:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 91,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7153565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickren/pseuds/dickren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if second chances did exist...except in another lifetime?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

_ It was yet another beautiful morning in New York City where the sun shined it's brightest, for once, you hadn't slept in through your alarm so you actually had time to make it over to your favorite coffee shop. With a job like yours, an on call nurse, sleep was a gift and when it was given you took full advantage of it--which sometimes made you oversleep with how exhausted you had been. But, you loved your job and you wouldn't trade it for the world, babies were your favorite kind of people--if that even made sense--so of course you didn't dread what you did on a daily basis. What kind of life was it where you did a job you were never meant to do? A very cruel one that is. "Excuse me ma'am, are you alright?" Looking up from the book, you sniffled a bit before wiping the few tears that had escaped. "I saw you crying and wondered if you were okay?" _

_ Nodding your, you smiled. "Oh, yeah, definitely...I was just reading this romance novel that literally killed me. Sorry if I worried you!" Shutting the book as you had reached its end, you looked at your watch and nearly panicked. "Oh, great, I'm almost late for work!" Standing up and picking up your things, you tossed the empty plastic coffee cup away along with the napkins before excusing yourself. _

_ "It's no problem, dear, hope you don't get late to work," The older woman smiled as she waved at you. _

_ "Thank you, uh...?" _

_ "Maz! Maz Kanata!" Nodding your head as your eyebrows furrowed the slightest, you simply shrugged at how unique her name was. _

_ "Thank you, Maz!" Waving goodbye, you rushed out, stuffing the book into your purse as you rue the idea of living in New York where almost everywhere you went was packed, especially when your job was in the hospital on the fifth floor rather than first. Hearing your phone ring, you grunted as you searched for it. "He-hello? Hey, Rey!" _

_ "Hey, you sound...out of breath? You alright?" _

_ "Fine, yeah! Totally! Just the fact that I may be late to work-" _

_ "It's because of Soul Mate. Are you still reading Soul Mate? I swear, you've read that book a good ten times-" _

_ "Fifteen," You corrected, dodging crowds. _

_ "Fifteen?! Not a surprise...let me guess, you cried yet again." _

_ "Of course! He loved her so much and she died for him! It so beautiful, Rey! Not my fault you don't have a romantic bone in your body..." You mumbled, causing her to gasp. _

_ "I am in a relationship with Finn, excuse you!" _

_ "Yeah yeah, look, I gotta go-" _

_ "Wait! Are you still coming tomorrow night? You know, I'd like my best friend at my engagement party." _

_ "You mean, excuse-to-go-drinking-and-clubbing? You know I'm not all that into drinking...or clubbing..." _

_ "Yeah, that's why you work with babies. But hey, you're still going 'cause you love me, right? It's not like we're going to a strip club or anything..." _

_ Sighing, you nodded. "Of course, anything for you, Rey..." _

_ "Good! Poe will be there...wink wink-" _

_ "Hush! I don't like him that way, I can't say the same for him about me...the flyboy is always so smiley around me. Not that I don't mind, his smile is great." _

_ "Alright, that is true. Still doesn't beat my smile. But whatever." _

_ "Who else is going?" _

_ "Uh, you, Poe, Finn and I of course...Leia and Han wanna stop by...Jessika-" _

_ "Poes pilot buddies, sweet. Leia and Han were able to get out of their busy lives? You'd think those busy people wouldn't..." You pouted the slightest. "Hmm, I guess they're not busy enough helping the air force with supplies or busy dealing medical equipment to hospitals." _

_ "Hey, out of all of us, you see them the most. Resistance Hospital's number one supporter is Leia Organa and Han Solo." _

_ "I do, but I don't know them that well, I mean, Leia is sweet but when do I really see her? Moms a good friend of hers but with my nursing life I'm too busy handling babies. Plus, dad is a pilot so he's friends with Han...but not that close, he's more close with Luke." _

_ "Yeah, speaking of which, dad won't be attending because he'll be in Africa...but, he says he'd try skyping me so let's see how that goes." _

_ "Ah, have fun with that." Seeing the hospital come into view, you looked at your wrist watch and sighed. "Thank god, I'm on time. I'll talk to you later." _

_ "Love you!" _

_ "Love you, too," Hanging up, you slid your phone into the pocket of your scrubs before quickening your speed. You loved your job but man were the long hours tiring, especially when you worked on only five hours of sleep with nearly twelve hour shifts. At least the doctors and nurses were nice and the job paid well for you to have a decent loft. _

_ Swerving and darting past crowds of people, you sighed in relief as you made it out in one piece, only to have someone knock right into you and cause you to fall flat on your ass. "Hey, watch where you're-Oh, oh I'm so sorry!" Furrowing your eyebrows at the tone they had, you only raised them as they had changed it. "I didn't see you there..." Seeing a hand come into view, you instantly took it and only felt chills run down your spine. _

_ "It's fine, it's fine..." Looking straight ahead, all you saw was a torso. "I don't blame you, you're really..." Eyes trailing up his body, your eyebrows raised. "Tall..." Unable to see his face as the sun was blinding you, you used your hand as a visor. _

_ "Yeah, sorry, this tends to happen when I'm walking past crowds," Trying to see his face, the glare from the sun didn't help one bit. _

_ "Do you occasionally run into people?" You asked, chuckling. _

_ "Uh, sort of...except sometimes I can't help them up because people get in the way and I feel terrible about it." _

_ "Glad to be an exception," You nodded, still squinting your eyes. "I'm sorry, I can't see your face at all and it's weird talking to practically nothing..." _

_ "Ah, right..." Shifting over, he instantly blocked the sun, your hand falling to your side as you smiled. _

_ "Thanks," Looking up at him, you nearly gawked. He wasn't your ideal guy but boy was he good looking. You couldn't tell if it was the nice slicked back dark hair or the dimpled smile or maybe the towering height...but something about him called to you. "That's...better..." _

_ "You seem like you're in a rush, am I in your way?" He simply asked, causing you to shake your head. _

_ "No, yeah, I mean no...well, yeah I have work in five minutes but you're being nice and nice people are fairly hard to run into on these sidewalks so..." Smiling, you only melted at the sight of his own as his dimples appeared. _

_ "I'll take that as a compliment?" He chuckled, causing you to smile even more. "But, honestly, I feel as if I'm in your way so, please..." Moving to a side, he gestured for you to go, "I don't want you to be late." _

_ "Oh, oh yeah. Yeah, it's fine." Swatting a hand, you shrugged. "I should go. Uh, thank you again...what's your name?" _

_ Grinning, he shook his head as he stuck his hand out. "I don't believe I introduced myself, what man doesn't introduce himself to the lady he rams himself into?" _

_ "It's alright, my name is Y/N, or nurse Y/L/N..." You chuckled, taking his hand and feeling the chills run down your spine once more, only to crawl across your skin and bring goosebumps. _

_ "Lovely name, I'll admit, especially the whole nurse additive," He nodded, "Ben, my name is Ben, or Mister Solo, I really don't have a cool add on." He teased, causing you to laugh. _

_ "Nice to meet you Ben, hope to see you again. Or crash into you again..." _

_ "One day, maybe." Ben laughed, waving at you before you rushed off. _

_ "See you some other day!" _

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

There had been a strange sense of warmth from Ben, you weren't sure if it was physical or mental, the fact that you couldn't differentiate if it were coming from the surrounding heat of the passing bodies and burning sun or if it had been radiating off of him. Was it actually body warmth or was there an unusual sense of familiarity, as if you had felt it before--déja vu kind of emotion. What ever it had been, the lingering sensation was felt the entire day, as if it hadn't had the desire to leave. "Miss Y/L/N?" Looking over your shoulder as you had been lost in thought, you gave the young man a smile. "I thought I'd come by and check on my little Daisy," Standing patiently by the door, you gave the man a nod before placing the file you had been holding onto down, gesturing for him to follow you.

Taking in a deep breath, you stopped at the little incubator the baby was lying in, picking up her files and reading them, "Little Daisy here is an angel, she barely fusses and..." Letting out a soft chuckle, you looked over to the father, "Sleeps a lot. I see you and Mrs.Lucas having no problems when she leaves our care." Giving the man a nod, you closed the files and placed them back down. "As long as she gets her feeding on time, you should be good."

Releasing a sigh, the man shut his eyes only to reopen them. "Oh, thank god. I mean, not like I wasn't going to be upset that she'd keep us up all night, but I have long shifts and I feel terrible leaving my wife alone with the baby...of course, we have our dog, but you know dogs can't do much," He snickered, causing you to let out a small laugh. "But that, that is very good to hear...and that she is healthy?" He stated, more in a questioning tone.

Nodding your head as you stuck your freezing hands into the scrubs pockets. "Well, besides the fact that she is a preemie, she has slight breathing problems. But, no worries, she will be fine in no time." Giving him a reassuring smile, he let out a sigh of relief. "She should be ready to go home in a few days," Nodding your head, the man took in a deep breath.

"Thank you, for taking care of her," Placing a hand on his chest, he bowed his head the slightest, "I'll be honest, I was worried...we were worried, my wives sister had a preemie and he had to stay in NICU for a good fifteen days."

Taking a step away, you spoke up, "It depends on the issues the baby is going through, lucky for you, Daisy isn't suffering too much. She'll be just fine, trouble with breathing is quite common for preemies."

"Again, thank you for everything. Will we see you when we pick her up?" He asked, curiously.

"Most likely, I work really long shifts so there is a high chance. Plus," Whispering, you leaned over, "Daisy is my favorite." Giving him a wink, he only chuckled. "But I hope so, I'd like to say my goodbyes to the little angel before she leaves."

Smiling, he nodded in agreement. "I should get going, thank you, once again."

Watching the man walk away, you smiled as you waved goodbye before placing your stethoscopes on to check on one of the babies breathing. "Okay, little Johnny, let's see how you're doing today," Sweetly speaking to the baby, you were about to check the babies breathing before the other nurse who helped you out went up to you.

"You have someone asking for you outside," Furrowing your eyebrows, you placed the stethoscope back around your neck, "Someone by the name of...Leia?" Growing wide eyed, you nodded.

"Oh, oh Mrs.Organa," Moving to a side, you aimed for the door. "Mind checking on Johnny's breathing and chart it?"

"Of course," The nurse gave you a thumbs up before you exited the room, looking down the hall, then turning the opposite way to see the older woman standing there.

"Mrs.Organa?" Looking up, she smiled.

"Oh, please call me Leia, Y/N." Walking over to you, you stuck your hand out for her to shake, only for her to pull you into a hug. "I haven't seen you in a while! You've turned into quite the lady."

Softly laughing, you looked over at her as she now held onto your hands. "Well, it's been a while, although I see you from afar...here and there. How are you? How is the business? Han?"

Taking in a breath, Leia responded. "I'm doing good, the business is fine...Han, well, Han is Han..." Laughing, you grinned. "How about you? How are you doing with being a nurse? Let alone, working such long hours?"

"I-...I'm doing fine, surviving," You stated, "I love what I do, so I don't mind the short hours of sleep, though I do appreciate my time off, they are wonderful for sleeping in or walking my dog...or catching up on the outside world."

"You should take a few days off, I spoke to a few of your coworkers and saw your records, you work the hardest out of 'em all, lots of hours...I promise you, if you don't take a day off--at least a day--I will personally take it off for you." Laughing, Leia only arched an eyebrow. "I'm serious, Y/N! Your mother sometimes worries...your health is important."

"Thanks, mom," You teased, "But I'm fine, very fine. Plus, I think I am taking off the weekend. I mean, it is Rey's engagement party tomorrow night and I'm usually on call on the weekends, so-"

"Do you work every day?"

"I mean, it's not like I have other things to do besides walk the dog, watch TV...and sleep?" You shrugged, causing Leia to shake her head.

"You don't have a boyfriend?"

"N...No..." You nervously stated, rubbing the back of your neck, "I mean, I've gone on dates here and there and they aren't the one and it's kind of hard because it's like we never click. And then when I think we do, it just flat out fails, so I've taken a break..."

Arching an eyebrow, she placed her hands on her hips, "For how long?"

Awkwardly laughing, you scratched your head, "Uh...a year-"

"A YEAR?!" She shouted, causing the passer by-ers to give her a weird look before she apologized.

"What? I've kinda given up-"

"Y/N, honey, there has to be someone out there for you, I feel it...I mean, you're a lovely, intelligent, well rounded girl...there has to be someone." Leia insisted as you pushed your hand through your hair. Truth is, you did feel like something was missing in your life, as if it had been there before but you had lost it, not remembering when or what it even was.

"Leia, trust me, I'm fine!" You stated. "I'm a-okay being single, plus, my life is too busy to have someone else in it-"

"That's because you make it busy," Leia crossed her arms. "That's it, you work tomorrow and I'm making sure you get Saturday and Sunday off." She pointed a finger before walking off, only to turn around as your eyes followed her. "Scratch that, Saturday till next Friday off. Then you can go back to on call," She winked, causing you to gasp.

"But I can't-" Calling out to her, she only left your sight as she rounded the corner. "I can't miss Daisy's departure..." You frowned, only to sigh as you went back into your 'work space'. At least you had a good four hours left before you had your take out dinner and five hour sleep.

. . .

And so those four hours had gone ever so quickly--as they always had--and you couldn't help but be the slightest of upset that you'd be leaving the babies side. You loved being surrounded by them, they were the purest things breathing and living, mind you, the sight of them made you tear up because they were that cute. It was sad to think that you were already in your mid twenties and hadn't found the one, let alone, had to see hundreds of parents having newborns. Wasn't like you envied them, although you were a tad bit jealous, but still, you were happy for them.

Saying your goodbyes and clocking out, you headed down the stairs rather than the crowded elevator before hitting the lobby, rushing over to catch a taxi as walking a few blocks wasn't in your agenda at the moment. "Taxi!" You called out, seeing one stop and ready to go in, just before someone else's hand went to reach for the handle, too. "Oh, uh-"

"No, you can go, I'll just-"

"No, you can-" Looking up, you smiled, recognizing the face and towering height. "Ben? I didn't think see you another day would be the same day, but hey..."

Lightly chuckling, Ben shrugged. "At least we didn't crash, though I'm sure you were about to steal my taxi," He pointed, making your mouth fall into an 'o'.

"Uh, no, last time I checked...you were stealing mine." You pointed to yourself, only to see Ben arch an eyebrow.

"How about we just share the cab, I'll feel guilty if I took it knowing you'd stay behind waiting," He suggested.

"Are you saying that you wouldn't give up a cab for a lady?" You asked, causing Ben to nod. "Wow, rude!" Gently snacking his arm, he only laughed, the two of you nearly jumping as the taxi driver honked. "That's our cue to go in."

"Yeah," Quickly opening the door for you, you had slid in, followed by Ben. Telling the driver where to go, you looked over to Ben, waiting for him to say his address. "Oh, no, I'll just walk home when you get dropped off."

Furrowing your eyebrows, you shook your head. "W-what? No way-"

"It's fine, it's fine! I usually don't take the cab, but since it was convenient, I took it. I don't mind walking-"

"No, Ben, come on..." You looked at him with your head slightly tilted. "I'll-I'll lend you my bike, or-"

Laughing, Ben only shook his head. "I'm fine, though I could've gone for a skateboard..."

"Skateboard? What are you, fifteen?" You teased, causing Ben to stick out his tongue. "Scratch that, twelve?"

"Haha, very funny, Y/N. No, I'm actually sixteen, get it right." He winked, causing your eyebrow to raise as you lied your hand on your chest.

"Whoa-ho, so-rry. Didn't know you could be so tall at sixteen, but hey, life surprises you in many ways."

"I've been this tall since I was thirteen, actually," Ben stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

Blinking, your jaw hung loose. "N-no way! That's a lie, that tall since thirteen? How tall are you anyways?" You curiously asked. If you had to guess, he was probably six feet...easily six feet. He towered you like all the buildings in New York.

"Six-three," Nearly choking on your own spit, you gulped. Six-three? He did seem as if he were a foot taller than you, or so it felt. "My mom hates it because she only has men in her life, excluding my cousin--and even then, my cousin is tall, too. We're all tall, ranging from five-seven to six-three...then there's mom, a whopping five-one," He chuckled, making you laugh as you couldn't believe the poor lady was a damn ant to the rest of her family.

"I'm sorry for her, though I kind of feel her pain...my father and older brother are tall, my mother is of a decent height...and then there's me, I'm pretty short compared to them." You shrugged as Ben looked over to you and half smiled.

"Yeah, but it's cute," He sweetly stated, causing you to casually avert your eyes and look at your far more interesting nails as you tried not to blush--although you clearly did. "Oh god, that sounded creepy, I'm sorry..."

Shooting your head up, you shook your head. "No-no, it's fine! I'll take it as-as a compliment," You nodded with a smile, Ben letting out a small sigh of relief as he felt his own cheeks heat up from embarrassment. How could he have possibly blurted that out. Sure he was suave, but not that suave, especially around someone he had (quote on quote) just met that made his heart flutter. He'd be lying if he said you weren't making him the slightest of nervous.

"I'm sorry, I really feel like I'm being a creep..." He nervously snickered. "I mean, I'm thirty and you're probably like twenty or something-"

"Thirty? You don't look it..." You nearly gasped, only to furrow your eyebrows. "Twenty? Do I really look that young?" Looking back over to you, Ben nodded.

"I could have sworn you were twenty, or at least in your early twenties..." He knitted his eyebrows as you shook your head, fighting a smile.

"Twenty five, but close enough," You swatted a hand as Ben shrugged the slightest. "Five years isn't a big difference, so your creepiness is taken as kindness...sorta?"

Arching an eyebrow, Ben tilted his head, "Sorta? So I am being creepy?" Feeling the guilt rush back, Ben only rubbed his face in embarrassment.

Shaking your head and waving your hands, you corrected yourself. "No, no! I mean, I'm saying it's sort of kind? I-I-"

"We are here," The taxi driver interrupted, causing you to slouch as you nervously turned away to give the money, only to have Ben stop you.

"What are you-" Seeing him pay, you tried pulling his hand back. "Ben, it's fine, I can-"

Pushing your hand down, Ben thanked the driver before turning to you. "It's enough that I nearly ran you over today and almost stole your ride, it's the least I can do."

"But I-" Watching him get out of the car, you placed your money back into your wallet, tossing it into your purse as the door next to you opened. "I can pay you back-"

"Don't think about it," He pointed a finger as you got out of the cab, shutting the door as you turned to face him. "It's no big deal."

"But I-"

"Y/N..." Crossing his arms, you only let out a deep breath.

"I seriously-" Hovering his index finger over your lips, you frowned.

"Like I said, no big deal. Honestly, a few dollars doesn't bug me, I work y'know," He shrugged.

"I work, too! I could've-" Turning you around by your shoulders, Ben guided you around the cab and to the entrance of the building. "Look, that's very kind of you, but-"

"The cab is gone, Y/N, you can't do anything about it." Shrugging, Ben dug his hands into the pocket of his jacket as you turned around. "Say it's my treat...of some sort."

Pouting, you crossed your arms. "I feel terrible."

"Fine," Ben sighed as he took his hand out of his pocket in order to push his hair back. "You can pay me back another time, but not in cash...anything but cash. I seriously don't need it." He insisted, causing you to narrow your eyebrows.

Nodding your head, your hands fell to your side. "Alright, fair enough. What can it be?"

Tapping his chin, Ben smiled, "I'll let you know...eventually."

"What if we don't see each other again?"

"Oh, I'm sure we will." Taking a few steps back, as if to walk away, he gave you a wink, "After all, we did see each other again today!"

Letting out a breath, you waved goodbye as Ben had been waving to you before he had turned around and jogged off. Sitting on the seats of the steps, you lied your chin in the palm of your hands, taking in a deep breath as you looked up to the darkening sky.

You promised yourself you wouldn't fall for somebody else, but the way Ben was making you feel by just being a kind gentleman didn't help at all. Something about him was so appealing--and it wasn't just his looks nor his persona--it was something else, something you couldn't physically hold onto or point out. And it was bothering you--big time.

Entering your loft and being greeted by an eager pup, you knelt down and pet him as you tossed your keys and purse onto the counter of your kitchen, "Hey, Astro," You smiled, getting a sufficient amount of licks as a representation of the dogs love for you. You wouldn't lie, at the time, all the love you needed was from your dog. "You're the only boy I need in my life, right?" Watching the pup tilt his head, you only let out a huff as you stood up, patting your thigh for him to follow you as you went over to add more food to his bowl. "Jeez, you eat so much..."

Microwaving food rather than ordering take out, you plopped yourself onto your couch to watch the endless amounts of shows hogging up your DVR, only to finish your food and knock out there and then. Sure, you loved your job, but man were the hours long--at times, you tend to find yourself falling asleep in places other than your bed.

Running into you wasn't a coincidence, and he knew that for sure. The feeling that ran through his skin after coming to contact with your own earlier that day only hovered in the back of his mind, it was a feeling he hadn't felt in so long. Your touch was unique and only you made his body feel such sort of way. Throughout the day, he couldn't help but subconsciously touch the hand that had held your own.

It was a shame he had known you, yet, you hadn't know him.

Lying back on his bed, an arm crossed behind his head as the other had been holding onto a book, hand shutting it as he placed it on his chest, Ben let out a sigh. This must've been Ben's fifteenth time rereading the romance slash science fiction novel and each time he had, he only grew more anxious. It was a shame he had to read a damn book to relive the moments you two had once shared in another life. "Fifteenth time? Really, Ben?" Grunting, he rubbed his face, a sudden wave of images overflowing in his mind.

You were standing in front of him with wide eyes full of surprise, Ben towering in front of you as he searched them. The silence had waved over the two of you, the words 'Because, I love you that much' echoed in his head before Ben had shot his eyes open. It pained him knowing only he had remembered it all.

He hoped. He had hoped that maybe, just maybe, you had dreamt about it. That maybe they felt like a faint remembrance, a recollection of some sort that had been stowed away in the deepest parts of your brain where they had been hidden for as long as forever.

Putting the leather book onto the nightstand, he quickly shut off the lamp before finding himself lost in the darkness. Why did he have to suffer this way? It was enough that he had lost you then...maybe this was a second chance?


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Now, who in their right mind just w a i t s in the rain?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also find me on tumblr under the username 'dickren'!

Being woken up to the sound of thunder, you nearly fell off the couch as your heart began to race, standing up from your seat as you stretched. "2:30 already?" You yawned, shutting off the television before realizing Astro had fallen asleep next to you. As much as you enjoyed waking up to a sleeping pup, the feeling of wanting to wake up to someone else crept up on you, the desire of having someone else with you. Why the sudden urge?

Rolling your eyes, you went to change out of your scrubs and into your pajamas, tossing yourself on your bed and staring up at the ceiling, only to reach out your arm over to your king sized bed--so much room for such a small woman. Rolling yourself over and digging your face into the extra pillow, you let out a grunt. It must've been Leia who triggered all of this. Yeah...Leia.

Waking up the next morning was tough as you had no desire to get out of bed, you lying there, staring at the digital clock as you felt completely drained. For once, you didn't want to go to work nor did you want to do your daily ritual. You wanted something different, something out of the ordinary, but with your systematic life...that really wasn't going to happen.

Hearing the light pats of Astros paws hitting the wooden floor, you slightly smiled--at least that was something nice to wake up to--especially when he made his way onto your bed, only to nudge you with his nose to get you out of bed. "Alright, alright...I'm going, I'm going..." Sitting up and stretching, he nudged your back. "I said...I'm going." Standing up, you patted his head before trudging to the bathroom to do your usual morning routine.

Unlike yesterday, today you weren't going to make it to your favorite coffee shoppe as your lack of effort in getting ready delayed you and now you were running short on time to get to work. Saying goodbye to Astro, you rushed out of your loft and down the stairs before regretting it as the rain was coming down hard. How could you have not noticed the rain?

Frowning, you stood under the awning, deciding whether or not it was worth running back in and getting an umbrella to walk or to just wait for a Taxi this time around. Looking up at the gloomy sky, you let out a defeated sigh, there was no way in hell you'd be walking in this kind of weather.

Rushing down the steps, you held your bag over your head before waving out for a Taxi. "Taxi! Taxi! Hey, I know you saw me!" You shouted, seeing as a vacant Taxi completely ignored you and drove past. "Rude..." Pouting, you looked down at your watch, seeing you had five minutes to arrive at the hospital on time. "I'm screwed..."

Suddenly feeling the heavy patting of the rain disperse, your eyebrows furrowed as a shadow hovered over you, "Thought you'd need a better umbrella." Turning around, your heart nearly sunk to your stomach. "Now, who in their right mind just waits in the rain?" Ben smiled as his eyebrows lightly scrunched up.

Fighting the urge to smile, you turned back to your original position, calling out for another taxi. "Hello, Ben."

"Someone had a bad morning," He chuckled, causing you to nod, although you smiled at the sound of his voice.

"So you can say..." Feeling his hand push your arm down, you arched an eyebrow at him. "I'm trying to-"

"My car is parked over there," He nudged his head, "I think it's better I give you a ride than you waiting hours out here."

Shaking your head, you shook your hands. "Oh, no, it's fine! I rather not be a bother..."

"Look, you'll just owe me double now," He shook his head, causing you to softly smile. "Plus, it's on the route I'm going on, so it's no biggie," He shrugged, causing you to take in a deep breath as you looked out to see if there were any taxi's coming.

With your luck, there were none, so you looked back up at him and dropped your shoulders. "Alright, though I really don't wanna start making this a habit that I owe you anything..." You teased as the two of you walked over to his car. "I mean, I don't have lots to offer."

Keeping his focus ahead of him, he smirked, "I'm sure we can make something work..."

"You know, now you're sounding creepy," Chuckling, Ben only frowned down at you. "I'm kidding! Though that could go many ways, I rather we keep it in the the rated g way..." You expressed with your hands as Ben only went wide eyed.

"I-I did not mean it...i-in a sexual way!" He exclaimed, making you laugh as you shook your head. "I meant, I meant..uh-"

"I'm just messing with you!" You shoved his arm, "But don't get any funny ideas, Solo." You pointed a finger as Ben quickly nodded, coming to a stop as he opened the passengers door for you. "This is your car?" You curiously asked. "A Range Rover? You seem more of a sports car kinda guy..." Getting inside, Ben shrugged.

"I get that a lot," Shutting the door, he swiftly made his way around to the drivers seat, closing the umbrella and tossing it to the back before realizing you were shivering. "Oh, sorry, you must be cold..." Turning on the car, he quickly put on the heater.

"I'm-I'm good," You lied, rubbing your arms as your teeth chattered, only to get a look from Ben. "Or not."

Removing his jacket, he handed it over to you, only for you to hesitate. "Don't be so stubborn, Y/N." Sighing, you grabbed it and lied it on you like a blanket. "So, what exactly do you do?" Ben curiously asked as he drove off. "Besides being a nurse, obviously."

Smiling, you looked out the window, the trickling water blurrying the outside world. "I'm a neonatal nurse, actually. I deal with babies, y'know, the ones that are born with problems such as preemies." You stated, looking back over at him.

"Babies, huh, must be a lot of fun conversations going on," He teased, causing you to lightly laugh. "You enjoy it?"

"Yeah! Yeah...I mean, to an extent, you can't really start that many conversations with a baby..." Nodding in agreement, Ben looked over at you for a second before speaking up.

"Well, I'm sure it's stable and nice...babies are fun, in a way...aside from the puking...that's not fun." He scrunched up his nose, causing you to grin at how adorable he looked doing it.

"Nope, it is not...but, hey, they're easier to handle than adults, I'll tell you that."

"I can definitely agree..." Feeling a sudden--comfortable--silence fall over to the two of you, Ben cleared his throat, only for you to speak up the moment he was about to.

"What do you do? Range Rovers aren't cheap so I can imagine your job..." You curiously asked.

"Business, lots and lots of business...it can be fun, the traveling, but at times I rather be home relaxing. You know, those days where you wanna do absolutely nothing?" Nodding in agreement, you sighed. Today had been one of those days for you.

"I totally agree, for a person who works their life away, it'd be nice to just stay home and do nothing. But I live on my own, got a dog to maintain...he's the reason why I'm doing it," You joked with a nod, causing Ben to chuckle.

"A dog? What's its name?"

"Astro, I've had him since I was younger, he's pretty old and I begged my mom to let me keep him when I moved out...it was tough convincing her but he is my dog so..."

"I understand, my dad has this dog that's old as hell and is still kicking, it's as if the dogs only a few years old." Pulling out his wallet from his pocket, he opened it up and showed you. "His name is Chewbacca, Chewie for short."

"Chewbacca? What a mouth full." Smiling, you grabbed onto the wallet and looked at the photo. "He's so scruffy and cute, what breed?"

"Ah, he's a mix...I honestly don't even know, I think there's some German Shepherd and Yorkie in him...but I do know he's older than me which is insane because I've never heard of a dog being over thirty years old but hey it must be the food he eats." Handing him the wallet back, he stuffed it back into his pocket.

"That's nice, the day Astro dies is the day I'll die...metaphorically speaking. The dogs been with me through it all, and I'd like for him to live on with me." You nodded, pulling out your phone and clicking the home button as a photo of the pup appeared on your lock screen. "This...is him."

Looking over, Ben smiled. "A Husky?"

"Mhm...found him when he was just a puppy, he's a good ten years old, kept him when I was like fifteen. He's a good dog, funny how humans are so attached to them." Locking your phone, you lied it back on your lap.

"You know I've never seen a husky in person, only in photos-"

"What?! No way!" You nearly shouted.

Laughing, Ben shrugged. "Yep, I guess I'm gonna have to meet Astro one day."

"Yeah, of course, I'm sure he'd like you." Nodding your head, you hadn't realized that time had been moving on rather quickly so when you looked down at your watch it was already past the time your shift was meant to start. "Aw no, I'm so late..." You frowned, looking up to see the traffic. "Dammit, I shouldn't have taken my time this morning..."

Looking over, Ben frowned the slightest, turning back over at the traffic and realizing he was going to be late himself. "Well, you're not the only one..." Furrowing your eyebrows, you looked up at him. "How about you get that day off you needed, the weathers shit and we're a pretty good distance from the hospital and I really don't want you walking in it-"

"I-I can't, I've never missed a day...unless I was really sick, I can't do that-"

"One day isn't going to hurt, Y/N..." Ben looked over at you with a face. "Come on, just one day..."

"What about you?" You asked, slightly disappointed, although you didn't even want to go to work.

"I can call in, no big deal, I pretty much run the company," Growing wide eyed, Ben nodded, "Right, forgot to mention that. My parents actually own the business, I help run it while working alongside my uncle, but he's out of town so..."

"Lucky you...I mean, it isn't that easy to just call in with a job like mine, Ben..." Sighing, you slid in your seat.

"I can work something out? I know plenty of people from Resistance hospital, it's no big deal, I promise you." He swatted a hand.

"I don't wanna be a-"

"Hey, don't worry, that's just a third thing on the list that you owe me," He teased, causing you to smile as you rolled your eyes, Ben pulling out his phone and instantly calling someone.

You don't know how he did it or who even spoke to but somehow he was able to convince them to give you the day off with pay, and as much as you were curious, you didn't question his actions.

Rushing over to an awning as the two of you were already far off from your loft, the both of you were now soaked as the umbrella had decided to not want to open the moment Ben had parked across the street. "Well, this must be your lucky day," He sarcastically stated as the two of you were still getting hit by the heavy rain. "Soaked twice, couldn't ask for more."

Shivering, you clutched onto your arms as the two of you tried making your way over to where Ben had been living. "I'm not the only wet dog here," You nudged your head at him as he, too, was drenched in the rain water. "At least you're not shivering like the chihuahua I am..." Instantly wrapping an arm around you as he brought you closer, your heart dropped, Ben's hands rubbing your arms as his jacket hadn't been enough to warm you.

"Look, we're almost there, I promise you my home has a great heater," Shaking your head, you tucked your arms into his side as you tried your best to warm yourself as you two made your way over to another awning.

Finally making it to the entrance of his condo, you came to a stop to admire the interior of the lobby. "You...live here?"

Grabbing your hand, he pulled you over to the elevators, only to gawk at how shiny the floor and walls were compared to your loft's building. "Yeah...my mom chose the place because apparently I couldn't."

Chuckling, you hadn't realized your hand was still in his until you looked down at it, only for Ben to apologize as he had swiftly let go, in a manner as if he didn't want to. "Sorry..."

"It's fine, it was actually warming my hand," You partially lied as Ben had looked away, a small blush creeping on his cheeks.

Hearing the ding of the elevator, the two of you had walked in only to ride in silence as you made your way to the top floor. Of course he lived in the top floor, why wouldn't he?

Rocking on your heels the slightest as your shivers slowly subsided, you watched as the doors slid open as it immediately lead to his condo. "You...you have your own floor?" Taking one step in, the high windows that replaced walls caught your attention as the heavy rain pounded against them. "That's so...wow."

"It's too much room for a guy who's barely in it, but I guess it's nice," He shrugged, walking past you and over to the fireplace, gesturing for you follow. "You sit here and I'll try finding clothes for you...and tape, because I'm sure my close will easily slip off of you," Taking a seat on the black leather couch, you took in a deep breath as Ben walked off, you gazing at your surroundings at how vast the condo was. It literally must've been five times bigger than your place, if not, more.

The kitchen was large along with the living and dining area, and you could only imagine how much bigger it was on the sides you couldn't see.

"Alright so I got you my long sleeve nasa tee my mom got me years ago from, you guessed it, NASA," He smiled as he handed you the shirt, "Annnnd, a matching pair of sweats! Because apparently my mother thinks I rep NASA twenty four seven when I mentioned it to her once that I thought it was pretty cool." Laughing, you got a hold of the attire before standing up. "Bathrooms around the corner, don't get lost." He winked, causing you to raise your eyebrows.

"I'll try not to..." Watching you walk off, Ben smiled to himself, first pumping as he twirled on his heel and making his way back to his room to change. In all honesty, he thought taking you to his home would've happened months later, or possibly, never.

He didn't want to say that he was thankful for the weather or lucky enough to have drove by your place at the same time you walked out...but, he would be lying if he said he wasn't happy it happened. He couldn't help it, he just loved the feeling of being around you--even if he had "met" you the day before--it didn't stop the fact that he hadn't seen you in so long...or, since another lifetime.

Almost getting distracted by all the Art Deco decorations and furniture that surrounded the halls and spaces, you came up to the bathroom and stopped as you saw a photo of what you assumed to be a younger Ben with what you also assumed to be Chewie. "Cute," You smiled before pushing the bathroom door open and walking in.

Changing rather quickly as the wet scrubs were starting to irritate you, you pulled your hair into a rather messy bun before looking at the mirror and giggling at the sight. Your makeup was all over the place and the clothing was obviously too big that you had to tie the sweats up with an extra hair tie you had as you knotted the shirt up yourself, remembering how Ben was supposed to give you tape.

"You know, I apologize for the disaster on my face that is my makeup...didn't know I looked that bad," You said as you started wiping away the excess, smudged makeup with a wipe. "I probably look like death..." Walking back over to the fire pit, Ben had walked back with a pair of mugs and a plastic bag, handing you one as as he sipped at his own while he took the wet clothes from you and stuffed it in the bag. "Already trying to poison me? I thought we were supposed to have a fake date first," You teased as you scrunched up your nose, Ben rolling his eyes as he swallowed before speaking up.

"Hot chocolate," He sarcastically smiled, "And I poison my dates after we make out, sorry."

Scoffing, your eyebrows raised as you took a seat on the couch, sipping at the drink as you nodded. "Fair enough, although that's a bit messy if you ask me...but to each its own." Taking another sip, you pointed at the mug, "A NASA mug, too? Do I look like I wanna promote them?" You snickered, causing Ben to shrug as he sat next to you, you realizing he had changed into a pair of black sweats and a grey v-neck (which he had looked insanely good in).

"What can I say, you're out of this world," He winked, causing you to nearly choke on the drink.

"Yeah, okay...try a different pick up line." Sipping the hot chocolate, Ben cocked up an eyebrow.

"Okay, all the stars in the sky can't simply outshine you," He grinned, causing you to roll your eyes.

"So cheesy! I'm sure you can do better..." You nudged him.

"You're the sun to my Earth," He batted his eyelashes, "You brighten my day-"

"Okay, stop-"

"You're a ray of light, you're smile is brighter than the sun-"

"Ben, please, you're killing me," You snorted, trying to drink the milk, only for Ben to continue on as he grew closer.

"I am earth and you are my sun, my world revolves around you!" Arching eyebrow, you shoved your hand in his face and pushed him away.

"I'm really contemplating whether or not to leave this instant." You said as Ben went on with more cheesy lines. "Oh, today is going be a long day..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! Almost 100 hits, thats pretty neat! Thanks, guys, hope you're enjoying :)


	3. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ben, do you believe in s o u l m a t e s?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can also find me on tumblr under the user 'dickren'

Mother nature must have been furious because the rain hadn't stopped for the past eight hours or so. Of course, you hadn't realized how much time had flown because the entire time Ben had you either crying from laughter or crying from a movie--either way, you were crying. You were amazed at how easily you two connected, it almost scared you. Just a day ago you had met him and here you sat, casually on his couch as if you two had known each other for years. But what topped the cake was the fact that you nearly had fallen asleep on his shoulder as the soft sounds of rainfall mixed with the old black and white film he had been showing you caused you to drift off--it was hard to stay awake, especially with the lack of sleep you had this week.

Dozing in and out, you hadn't fully acknowledged the fact that Ben had his arm wrapped around you as you lied on his chest, maybe you were that drowsy or maybe you couldn't care less at the moment, whatever it was--it was definitely overpowering you. If you weren't this sleepy you'd probably be freaking out at the fact that the shared proximity between the two of you was that close. Yet, it felt nice and comfortable, in a way that you've done it dozens of times before.

Feeling your eyelids grow heavy, you could already hear soft snoring coming from Ben, as if the movie had bored him to death, which only made you wonder as to why he suggested it--let alone, owned it.

Closing your eyes, the sound of thunder from lightening that had struck dangerously close caused you to jolt up, head ramming into Ben's jaw, only causing you two to grown as you clutched onto the top of your head. "Ah...I'm sorry..." You winced, causing Ben to rub his chin as you sat up.

"It's-it's fine," He yawned. "A rude awakening, but it's fine...you alright?" He asked, slowly removing his arm from around you.

"Yeah, yeah..." Looking at your watch, you nearly panicked. "Shoot, shoot! I almost forgot I have this party to go to tonight and here I am with wet hair and a makeup-less face, blocks away from my loft," Frowning, you still rubbed your head as Ben stood up, grabbing the mugs and walking over to his kitchen.

"What time is it at?" He curiously asked.

"In like an hour..." You frowned, Ben walking back with an ice pack as he placed it on your head. "And it takes more than an hour to get ready...she's totally gonna kill me."

"Funny, I have this event to attend to tonight...actually," Looking at his own watch, he sighed, "In an hour, too..."

"Aw man, I've got to go, I really don't wanna be late!" About to grab your bag of clothes, Ben stuck out a hand.

"Don't worry about it, I'll clean it, you get going and uh," Grabbing an umbrella from a vase it was in, he handed it to you, "Use this, we can exchange our things the next time we see each other." He smiled, causing you to nod as you held onto the icepack on your head.

"Yeah, yeah that sounds good," Giving him a thumbs up, you grabbed your purse and headed for the front door as he followed behind. "I'm sure we'll see each other soon, I'm not gonna even doubt it," You swatted a hand, causing Ben to laugh as he nodded.

"You get home safe, don't get hit by lightning," He pointed a finger, causing you to shake your head.

"Bye!" Tiptoeing as you grabbed onto his shoulder, you kissed his cheek before rushing off, not realizing what you had done until you had gotten into the elevator. "Did I really just? Of course I did..."

Smiling to himself, Ben shut his door behind him before touching his cheek. "Someday, we'll have it all again."

Nervously tapping your foot, the doors slid open only for you to run out, opening the umbrella and practically darting back home--although you weren't quite sure where you even were.

After a good ten minutes of realizing as to where you had been, you eventually found your way back, making it in half an hour, becoming soaked once again, feeling bad you had soaked Ben's clothes, too.

Panting as you stormed into your loft, Astro instantly greeted you as you had placed the umbrella against the wall, petting Astro and then rushing off into your room as you haphazardly peeled off the clothes and tossed them. "Twenty minutes, twenty minutes! I can't do shit in twenty minutes!"

And within those twenty minutes, you weren't even halfway ready. While hopping on a foot as you put on your heels, you tried waving your hair and applying your make up all at once. Let's just say the outcome was far better than you had expected.

"I'm so late...so very late," Frantically putting things into a smaller purse, you pulled on a black coat over your dress as you rushed around, grabbing your keys after filling up Astros bowls with food and water. "See you later, buddy! Hopefully auntie Rey won't kill me!" And at that, you were off.

This time around the Taxi drivers were nicer, you assuming it was the outfit you were in which only made you want to gag. Lucky for you, Rey was holding her engagement party not too far away so it didn't take so long.

"Thank you!" Handing the driver the money, you quickly hopped out of the car and nearly speed walked to the entrance of the bar. "Oh, thank god..." Letting out a deep breath, you saw Rey and Finn in the back as Poe and his group of friends were playing pool, Han and Leia joining Rey as a third party had their back facing you.

Catching her attention, Reys jaw fell as she rushed over. "Finally! Where the hell were you?!"

"I-uh...long story for later, be happy that I'm here!" You exclaimed, only to pull her into a hug. "Congrats! I'm so very happy for the two of you!" You nodded, your grip around her tightening.

"Thank you, thank you! I'm very happy myself," She grinned over to you as you had let go. "I'm very excited, can't believe this is happening!" Nearly squealing, you grabbed onto her hand and gawked at the ring. "Isn't it beautiful?!"

"It's stunning! Wow! I'm jealous!" You gawked at the diamond.

"Soon your day will come, I promise you," She winked, only making you shrug. "So, word spread that you missed work and that somehow someone was able to let you off the hook..." Arching an eyebrow at you, you nervously scratched your head.

"Whaaat, no..."

"You're a terrible liar, Y/N, I can read you like a book." Shaking her head, you swatted a hand.

"I have no clue as to what you are talking about..."

"Yeah, okay, you're lucky that's all I know." Smiling at her, Rey only rolled her eyes.

Looking over at the table, you instantly gasped as you realized something. "Your gift! I forgot your gift! All this time I was busy rushing myself I forgot your gift!"

"It's alright, honestly, it's a gift seeing you here," She smiled, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as she walked you to the table. "Look who's arrived!"

"Finally!" Being nearly tackled in a hug, Finn clutched onto you. "I was wondering where you were."

"Congrats, I was wondering when you'd make the move," You winked, causing Finn to laugh.

"Ah, hello!" Turning around, Leia greeted you. "I heard you didn't go to work today, took my advice?" She smirked as you nodded.

"Uh, something like that..."

"Hey, kiddo, I haven't seen you in so long!" Han greeted, engulfing you in a hug as you hugged back.

"Good to see you, Han." You smiled as he had let go.

"Oh, honey, have you met our son? He's always busy traveling with his uncle so I wouldn't doubt if you haven't..." Placing a hand on the mans shoulder sitting down behind them, Leia smiled. "Y/N, meet-" Watching the man turn around, your eyebrows knitted as you blinked.

"Ben?"

"Y/N?" Standing up, he smiled as he looked a bit confused, rubbing the back of his neck. "This was the party you were late to?"

"This is the event you had to attend to?" Looking back and forth, Leia and Han exchanged looks as Rey and Finn did, too.

"You two...know each other?" Rey curiously asked.

Looking at Rey, you crossed your hands behind your back."Uh..."

"We met yesterday, actually," Ben stated.

"Is she the pretty girl you said you nearly ran over with those long legs of yours?" Leia squinted her eyes at her son as she grinned, causing him to gulp as he cleared his throat.

"Mom..."

"Oh, sorry..." Leia took a step back as she tried not smiling.

"You're the poor girl Ben almost trampled? Sorry to hear that," Han patted your shoulder, causing you to look over at Ben who only looked away shyly.

"I-I survived, I'm fine," You nodded with a small laugh. "I gained a new friend by it...whose apparently friends with my best friend..."

"She's your best friend?" Ben's head snapped in your direction as he pointed at Rey. "You're the best friend?"

"Oh, Ben, out of all people you knock into it had to be my best friend?" Rey rolled her eyes as you felt your face heat up.

"W-what?" You questioned.

"Ben is my cousin, Y/N...you know, the cousin," She insisted, causing your mouth to fall to an 'o' shape.

"The-the cousin that travels with Luke a lot? The one you're constantly talking about? That cousin?!"

"Oh god..." Ben sighed as he pushed his hand through his hair.

"Yes, that cousin." Rey sighed.

"I'm-I'm right here you know..." Ben looked over at Rey.

"This isn't weird..." Han muttered over to Leia.

"Oh...uh, well, that's not-there's nothing wrong with that I mean we just met so...that's kinda the only time we talked," You lied, Ben instantly nodding in agreement.

"Y-yeah, wow...haha...coincidence!" Ben faked a laugh, patting your shoulder as you stood there, awkwardly.

"Right? Yeah!" Nervously scratching the back of your head, you turned to the bar. "I need a drink..."

And so what was thought to be only a single round became a few rounds, you not keeping count before Ben had intervened, placing his hand in front of your mouth before you could drink your who-knows what number shot.

"I really don't want you getting alcohol poisoning, at least not here..." Taking a seat on the stool next to you, he sighed. "I'm-"

"You-you are my cousins best friend...best friends cousin...wow!" You chuckled. "Can you imagine if we had told them-"

"It's fine, it's all good..." He interrupted before you went on. "Are you alright? I think you should drink water instead..."

Waving your finger, you shook your head, "N-no-no...I need...to pee-" Nearly falling back as you stood up, Ben got a hold of your arm as Rey looked over and watched. "Pee...I need to pee and you definitely can't help me there," You laughed, only to have Ben help you walk. "Bad time to be wearing heels, right?"

"It's alright, I'll help you get by," Ben insisted.

"Oh...I missed work today...I didn't get to see the babies..." You frowned. "I hope they're okay."

"I'm sure they're fine-"

"But I had such fun! You're a fun guy! And your home, so pretty...I'm so jealous! The view! The photo of you and Chewie!"

Furrowing his eyebrows, Ben's grip on you tightened as you had nearly tripped. "Huh?"

"No-nothing..." You laughed, coming to a stop. "You can't come in...girls room only!" Trying to pull the door open, Ben only pushed it open for you. "Mmm...right..."

"Please don't fall in the toilet-"

"I'll try...not to," With a wink, you walked in. Oh how you were going to regret this in the morning.

"Hey, is Y/N alright?" Rey asked as Ben leaned against the wall parallel to the door of the girls restroom.

"Yeah, just-uh, peeing..." He nodded.

"I'll go check up on her..." Walking inside, Rey watched as you tried searching for paper towels, only for her to dispense it for you. "You never drink this much, you okay?"

"Haha, yeah! You're engaged!" You clapped while drying you're hands.

"Uh, yeah-"

"I wanna be engaged...I want a soulmate...you have a soulmate, why don't I?" You frowned, only making Rey frown.

"I'm sure you do, Y/N, you just haven't met them yet..."

"Can I go read Soul Mate?" You asked, causing Rey to shake her head as she laughed. "Why not?"

"Because every time you do, you cry and you always get sad...do you really like that? Being sad?" She crossed her arms.

"But they were so cute! They were meant to be but she died for him!" You threw your hands in the air in exaggeration.

"Yes, yes I know, you've told me a million times and you made me read it..." Rey nodded, grabbing your arm as she helped you walk outside. "I'm gonna take you ho-"

"No, no no...it's your party, don't let me ruin it! I'll-I'll uh..."

"Y/N, I'll take you home-"

"No, it's fine...I'll ask Han and Leia!" You insisted.

"They already left..." Gasping, you then pouted as you two exited the bathroom. "Ben can take you, right?" Looking up from his phone, he instantly locked it and placed it in his pocket.

"Yeah, wait, what?"

"Can you take Y/N home?" Rey asked with a pleading look.

"Oh, sure, yeah...of course." He nodded as he watched you stumble over in Reys grip.

"Thank you," She smiled as you sighed, leaving her grip and nearly tripping over your own feet before Ben had caught you. "Oh...I suggest she not wear the shoes..."

"And step on glass? Rey she can't just walk barefoot..." Ben shook his head.

"I'm right here, I can hear you...I can to-totally walk in heels now," About to take a step forward, your foot gave out. "I can not..."

Sighing, Ben instantly picked you up in his arms, causing your eyes to widened. "We'll take the back door," Ben nudged his head.

"Here's her purse," Handing it to Ben, Rey kissed your cheek. "You drink lots of water and get sleep, and no work for you tomorrow!"

"Yeah...I don't think that's gonna happen..." Sighing, you lied your head against Ben's shoulder. "I can't even handle myself, how am I a baby...how am I going to handle a...you know what I mean," You deeply exhaled.

"Just get her home safe..." Nodding his head, Ben turned around and aimed for the back door. "And no funny business, Ben!"

Rolling his eyes, Ben walked off as you found yourself messing with the buttons of his white buttoned up shirt, "Fancy, are we?" You grinned as you realized how well dressed Ben had been for a bar. "Did momma dress you?"

Chuckling, Ben shook his head. "No...though she probably would have made me wear this...I thought I'd go semi-formal with the fact that it's an engagement party..."

"I'm sorry that I'm a mess...I'm kinda a-a lightweight...and-and-" Hiccuping, you giggled, "And I kinda ruined my best friends party..." Suddenly realizing it, you frowned.

"You totally didn't, Rey was having a great time, actually..." Taking in a deep breath, Ben sighed. "I would be lying if I said she wasn't worried...I'd also be lying if I said that I didn't say that I'd watch over you instead..." Sitting up in his hold as you wrapped your arms around his neck, you looked at Ben as you blinked. "It's-it's no big deal, honestly..."

Smiling, you kissed his cheek, "You're a fine gentleman, and a good cousin...you keep proving yourself."

Feeling his heart flip in his chest, his face began to heat up as his grip around you slightly tightened. What ever it was, it felt like the gods above were helping him get his second chance. "I-uh, thank you."

"I'm just waiting for that girlfriend to barge in and claim you," You spoke, instantly covering your mouth. "I mean...a guy like you must have one."

"I-I do not, actually...wait, guy like me?" Knitting his eyebrows, you only lied your head against his shoulder once again.

"Well, you are very-very sweet...and courteous, and flat out handsome," You chuckled, "But that doesn't matter, I mean, looks aren't everything."

Fighting a smile, Ben nodded. "I...am flattered. Thank you, Y/N."

"Good...because I don't usually speak my mind, especially to men because they like hearing those things. But you, you're alright with me, I'll give you the compliment," You shrugged, feeling your eyes grow heavy on you.

"I appreciate it," He softly smiled as he had continued walking on; the walk to your loft wasn't that far off but it was quite the distance, so when the silence fell between the two of you, you sort of got lost casually playing with the ends of his hair.

Breaking the silence as you fought the exhaustion crashing down on you, you swallowed, "Ben, do you believe in soulmates?"

Nearly choking on his own spit, his cleared his throat. "Soulmates?" Forcing the thought of his past life away, he swallowed. "Well...I mean, I believe that there is someone out there for everyone, but I'm not sure if it's meant to be forever..."

Feeling slightly disappointed for some unknown reason, you felt your hopes collapse. "Oh..."

"Why?" He curiously asked.

"Just...wonderin'..."

"Do you?" He asked as he came to a stop.

"Uh...kinda, sorta...yeah? I don't know..." Looking up, you realized you had made it to the building of your loft, you carefully hopping out of his arms. "Thank you, for taking me..." You nodded, awkwardly pushing your hair behind your ear as Ben looked down at you with a half hearted smile.

"It's fine, I'd do it any day, really." Looking up as your eyebrows lightly narrowed, Ben smiled as he looked at your purse, handing it over to you. "Don't think this matches me..."

"It's black, black goes with anything," You grinned, grabbing the bag as you felt yourself coming back to your senses ever so slowly. "If you ever wanna borrow it, just let me know," You shrugged, causing Ben to look over to you and give you a toothy smile as he laughed.

"Yeah, alright...I think it best suits you than it does me," Tucking his hands into the pockets of his slacks, he rocked on his heels as you two stood there.

"Thanks..." Looking at your purse, you then pointed over to the entrance of the building as you looked up at him, "Wanna come in? I mean, you did a decent amount of walking with my heavy ass in your arms, so I can imagine you need to sit for a moment."

"Heavy? You weigh nothing, trust me, I've carried heavy," Looking at his arms as the white sleeves hugged at his biceps, you nodded in approval as you could tell he did do some lifting. "And that is your proof."

"Someone doesn't skip arm day," You poked his arm, nearly gasping at how solid it was. "No he does not."

Laughing, Ben placed an arm around your shoulder as he had turned you around. "Let's get you inside."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello and thank you for readin! pls leave some kudos/comments or what ever if you enjoyed :)


	4. IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So you're a tighty whities kinda guy?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'!

After nearly tripping up the steps and almost breaking the heel of your shoes as you entered the elevator, you had decided it was best to go barefoot-- ~~ although it irked you ~~ \--before something disastrous happened. "This is my humble abode," You smiled, opening the heavy door as you instantly heard jingling. "And this..." Sitting on your knees as you were attacked by slobbery 'kisses', Ben only smiled at the sight, "Is Astro."

Taking a step back, the pup tilted it's head before walking over to Ben, taking his scent and then nudging his nose against Ben's shin. "Does he like me?" Ben looked over at you with a wide grin.

"I'm not sure, I've never seen him do that before," You furrowed your eyebrows as Astro then sat down in front of Ben, rubbing his paw over his head. "I'm guessing he wants you to pet him..."

Crouching down, Ben rubbed at the dogs head as you placed your heels to a side along with your purse, plopping on your couch as you didn't feel like moving around too much, you could already feel something coming up your throat. "I think he does like you," You pointed out as Astro had moved closer to Ben. "He's a tricky one, usually takes a while for him to get closer to people, but I guess you're an exception."

"I," Placing his hand on his chest, Ben bowed his head the slightest, "am a dog whisperer." He joked as you chuckled. "Surprised he doesn't smell Chewie."

Lying your head on the armrest, you grinned at the sight as Ben had put his full attention on the Husky, looking as if he had found a pot of gold. It was the cutest sight ever, and in your drunken state, you found it peaceful to watch--something you wouldn't mind seeing everyday.

Narrowing your eyebrows, you suddenly felt something build up in your throat, only for you to rush over to your bathroom and nearly puke your guts out. "Y/N?" Ben called out, instantly running over to you as he got on his knees, holding your hair back as he rubbed your back. "It's alright...you're fine..."

Frowning, you felt completely and utterly embarrassed at the fact he had to see you like this, even drunk you was conscious enough to know how ugly the sight must've been. "I'm so...I'm so sorry you have to-to see this-" Gaging, you puked even more, Ben's eyebrows knitting up in a look of sorrow as he hated the sight of you like this.

"No, no don't apologize, don't worry..." Continuously rubbing your back, he grabbed some toilet paper for you to clean your mouth. "I've dealt with this before, well...once. Rey thought it'd be fun on her twenty first to drink any and every drink possible when I specifically told her it was a terrible idea, yet, she went on."

Smiling, you cleaned your mouth, "You're a good cousin, Ben."

"Yeah, I had to rush to her side because she was puking everywhere. Got some on me and, wow, yuck." Chuckling at the way his face scrunched up, Ben sighed. "But at the moment, it didn't matter. What mattered was that Rey was okay."

Looking over at him, you sat on the back of your legs after flushing the toilet, arm propped on the toilet seat. "Why are you such a nice guy, I don't understand?" Furrowing his eyebrows, Ben had slowly moved his hands away as you had shifted yourself to lean against the bathtub. "So many guys, so many guys I've met...none of them are half the man you are, and-and I've only known you for two days!"

"I'm sorry...?"

"Don't be," Rubbing your forehead as you felt a headache coming, you looked away. "I just don't get why you're so nice when every guy I've ever met had been a complete jerk."

Shifting in his spot, he sat next to you as he leaned his back against your bathtub. "Well, my parents raised me well. I learned from the best. Unlike other men, I'm very attached to my family and my family taught me that it's very important to be a gentleman. Actually, my mother was a big influence on me. I don't take it lightly, being a good guy that is, it bothers me that women like you have to deal with men like that." Pulling his knees to his chest, you looked over and blinked, it was honestly bothering you that Ben was being so damn sweet, you were used to--in a word--shitty men.

"I wish there were more men out there like you..." Lying your throbbing head against his shoulder, you sighed. "I'm just amazed that I've done so much embarrassing stuff in front of you and you have yet to be weirded out..."

"What's to be weirded out? Just because a few supposed embarrassing moments happened, doesn't mean I want to leave your side-" Looking up at him, Ben cleared his throat, "I mean, stop being your friend..."

"Friend?" Smiling, you leaned your head against his shoulder again. "I'd hug you but I feel gross..."

"That's fine by me," Wrapping an arm around your shoulder, he leaned his head against your own.

"Thank you...for taking me home and helping me not dirty my hair," You chuckled. "I really should brush my teeth..." Slowly pulling yourself away, you felt weak as you stood up, balancing yourself on the sink as Ben got up.

"I should go then-"

"No, I mean, you can stay? Astro seems to like you," You pointed out, Ben smiling as he looked down.

"Alright, if you need anything, I'll be with Astro." Kissing the top of your head, Ben left you their smiling as you brushed your teeth.

In the span of two days you two had already felt as if you'd known each other for months. It was good, you loved the comforting feeling of being able to be so...casual with him, in a sense. You just feared it wouldn't last long.

Walking back over to the living room, you saw Ben sitting their as Astro lied his head on his lap. "I think I've made a new best friend..." Ben laughed as you grinned, taking small steps as your throbbing head made it hard to focus, Ben noticing it. "Oh, hey, do you want me to get you something?" He asked, immediately standing up as you plopped on the chair that sat parallel to the couch.

"I have Advil in the top shelf in the cabinet left of the fridge," You pointed, "And the cups should be in the cabinet right of the fridge..." Lying your head back, Astro only came over, lying his head on the chair as he watched you. "I'm fine, buddy, I just have a headache," Rubbing his head, Ben quickly came back with the medicine and water. "Thanks," Swiftly taking it, you nearly chugged the water. "I'm so dead tomorrow morning..."

"Hopefully you'll be fine by then," Ben took in a deep breath, placing his hands on his hips as he nodded, you looking up and smiling.

"I should go to bed...but I should change out of this..." Realizing you were still in the coat and dress, you frowned. "But I'm not tired..." Removing the coat and tossing it onto the back of the seat, you sighed.

"We could, uh, watch a movie?" He insisted, you nodding.

"Fair enough, maybe this time we won't fall asleep through the movie," Slowly standing up, you sat over on the couch instead as you turned on the TV, handing the remote to Ben as he sat next to you. "This time, choose a good movie."

Even though Ben had chosen a movie filled with action, you two had already found yourselves dozing off. It was as if you two weren't meant to watch movies. Maybe it was the fact that you two somehow found your ways to get closer to each other as Ben wrapped an arm around you while you lied against his chest; except this time, there was a blanket and both of you knocked out.

Shifting in your spot, your arm subconsciously wrapped around Ben's torso as you had become more comfortable, already getting lost in your dreams.

_ Slipping your hand from his own, your arms instantly wrapped around his neck, his now free hand being placed on the small of your back as he brought you closer while his other got tangled in that of your hair--this was what he wanted, this was the kind of love he needed to keep him the slightest of sane. "I love you..." _

_ Grinning against the kiss, you felt your cheeks heat up. "I love you, too." Connecting your lips with his once again, the sound of the door being slammed open caused your heart to pop out of your chest, head snapping in its direction as Kylo suddenly felt a very unpleasant turn of his stomach. "How foolish are you, Ren?" The seething voice of the General caused your own stomach to turn. The rage in his piercing blue eyes that now shot over at you made you nauseous, the pure hatred being reflected off of them as it felt he had been staring right through your soul. "We are in the middle of a war and here you are, making out with some scum?" Feeling Kylo tense up as he took a step in front of you, you quickly latched onto his arm and shook your head. _

_ "What I do on my own is none of your business, Hux." Kylo seethed, voiced dripping with venom as you could feel the anger radiate off of him. Something so beautiful was happening, why did the General have to come in and destroy it? _

_ "You are falling on the wrong path, you are letting this girl into your mind too easily, she is influencing you in all the wrong ways and you know it." Hux snapped, causing Kylos teeth to grit as you stood there with a deadly grip on Kylo. You were shaking by now, there was easily a handful of stormtroopers behind the General with blasters held tightly in their grip--for all you knew, your life was on the line. _

_ "She has nothing to do with the path I am taking." Kylo spoke through clenched teeth, trying his best not to explode--not with you there right beside him. _

_ "Supreme Leader Snoke is worried," Hux placed his hands behind his back while crossing his arms. "That you are slipping into the light..." Slightly furrowing his eyebrows, Hux only fought a smile. "All because of her." Looking back over to you with a devilish smirk, you instantly felt your heart sink...and so did Kylo. _

_ He was sure the Supreme Leader hadn't known about you, let alone your existence, Kylo hid it well enough from the man...so how else had he known? Ready to lunge forward, Kylo barked "You told him?!" _

_ Sighing, Hux shook his head. "I feared there was no other way-" _

_ "How dare you?!" Holding Kylo back from doing anything drastic, the General didn't even bother to flinch. _

_ "I saw her roaming the halls, I chose not to acknowledge it...I knew she was searching for you, why else would she be so stupid-" Flinching at the word, Kylos jaw tightened, "to walk around the base?" _

_ "You had no right to tell the Supreme Leader!" _

_ "You had no right to bring her in the first place!" The ginger snapped. "If you hadn't saved her, we would not be in this mess right now! We would not have to worry about our Commander going rogue on us in any given minute!" Biting back the rage in him, you only felt yourself tremble more and more as the fear and anxiety coursed through you. _

_ The man had told the Supreme Leader about you, he brought your existence to Snokes attention, he even went as far to share your affiliation with him. Love was forbidden, any sort of interaction or affection was wrong. Kylo Ren out of all people shouldn't know how it feels to have someone make his heart flutter nor have the desire to protect unless it was the name of the First Order. It was obvious how doomed you now were. _

_ And it was obvious that Kylos instincts were right--something wrong was going to happen and he was afraid to find out what exactly. "You have orders, you have a role to play in this war--protect the base." _

_ Glaring at the general, heavy pants were heard from Kylo. He couldn't do anything stupid, not now, for all he knew your life was at stake and with any sudden movement, you'd be dead. _

_ "And it seems as if you have your own battle to fight with that of Luke Skywalker," The General simply stated, waving a hand for the troopers to walk in. _

_ Knitting his eyebrows, the troopers instantly ripped your grip off of Kylo, only for him to snap and reach for his lightsaber. _

_ "Nuh-uh-uh..." Hux waved a finger, "I don't think you'd be foolish enough to kill one of my men when they hold your woman...especially when her life is now in the hands of the Supreme Leader." Growing wide eyed, Kylos hold around his lightsaber grew tighter. _

_ "What do you mean?! Where are you taking her?!" Kylo demanded as you stood there, shaking violently as your throat had locked. You had never been this frightened in your life. "Answer me!" Igniting his lightsaber and aiming it towards the General, Hux nearly gulping as you gasped. _

_ "Careful, Ren...you kill me, you kill her." _

_ Shaking your head, you cried out. "Kylo, please..." _

_ Snapping his head in your direction, he felt his heart shatter. This was his fault, he knew it, all of it--everything--it was on his name. "Listen to her, Ren. You take care of this war while I take care of her." _

_ "You dare lay a finger-" _

_ "Oh, I won't be harming her in anyway, you have my word...I can't say the same for the Supreme Leader..." Waving his hand again, the stormtroopers dragged you out. _

_ "Y/N!" He called out, ready to free you from their hold, that is until Hux stood in the way with a hand up. "What is he going to do to her?! Tell me, Hux! What does he have planned?!" Looking over the mans shoulder, Kylos heart shattered more into microscopic pieces. "TELL ME!" He roared, watching your fearful eyes stare into his own as you watched from over your shoulder. "Y/N!" _

_ "Kylo!" Thrashing around, you only felt your body grow weak. _

_ "No...no!" Deactivating his lightsaber, Kylo shoved passed Hux and ran into the hall, seeing your frame being nearly dragged as you had grown numb. You couldn't move a single muscle, you were frozen, and what was worse was the feeling of something--someone--forcing you to keep your mouth shut. "Y/N!" Feeling the veins nearly burst in his neck, Kylo knew he couldn't run to you, he couldn't save you. It was too late. _

Taking in heavy breaths as your eyes had shot open, you searched around the room only to see that you were home rather than lost in a fantasy world. What you had dreamt was from the book you were attached to, but it had you and Ben in it. It hadn't made any sense, you were aware it wasn't real, that it was part of the novel...yet, it felt so...real. As if you had lived through it before.

Realizing you had your arm around Ben, you carefully removed it as you rubbed your eyes, looking over to the clock on the microwave to see it was half past three in the morning and your neck was aching from the way you had fallen asleep. Although it had been aching, you'd be lying if you said sleeping on Ben's chest wasn't the greatest thing in the world.

Holding back a smile, you looked over at Ben in his sleeping state, mouth slightly parted as his head lied back against the wall, soft snores being echoed through the living room as his arm still had been wrapped around you. You were amazed he hadn't moved a single muscle since the two of you had fallen asleep. Looking to your left, you hadn't realized Astro had fallen asleep with you two.

If you weren't such a fantasizer, you wouldn't have pointed out to yourself how cute it was to see all three of you asleep on the small couch.

Huffing the slightest, you weren't sure whether to wake up Ben and tell him to go home where he'd be more comfortable or to just stay sleeping there. But the moment you were going to decide to wake him up--being the courteous person you were--you instantly gagged. So you weren't done puking your guts out...

Swiftly leaving Ben's arms, you rushed to the bathroom again, turning the lights and kicking the door closed as you puked once again, holding your own hair back with one hand as the other held onto the seat. Oh how your conscious was beating you up for drinking so much. Funny thing is, you weren't even a drinker, you were just that anxious and had nothing else to put you at ease.

Releasing a sigh, you frowned. Your stomach hated you and was getting revenge for all the toxins you had put in it. You just wished it held off until after Ben had left. "Oh lord..."

Taking in heavy breaths as you began to sweat, you regretted even going to the bar. As much as you loved Rey, you had wished she hadn't held her party at a bar, rather, her house. Maybe then you wouldn't have drank so much. But that didn't change the fact that Ben was going to be there.

Hearing a soft knock, you didn't even bother looking over. "Are you alright?" Hearing Ben's hoarse voice caused you to smile the slightest. That's how his so-called morning voice sounded? "Y/N?" Slowly pushing the door open, you only crossed your arms over the toilet as you lied your forehead against them.

Taking a seat next to you, he pulled your hair back and grabbed the spare hair tie you had lying on the sink counter, tying it back before he rubbed your back again. "I'm...alright." You lied. You weren't even the closet of alright, the throbbing in your head was driving you insane and you felt weak from puking so much. You cursed yourself for not eating a single thing before drinking.

"You're clearly not..." Reaching over to flush the toilet, Ben sighed as he eyed you, feeling terrible at the state you were in. "Did you eat anything before drinking?"

"Uh..." Awkwardly chuckling, Ben arched an eyebrow at you before scolding you.

"Y/N..."

Turning your head away, you mumbled. "No..."

Taking in a deep breath, he ripped a couple of pieces of toilet paper and handed them to you before he stood up. "I'm gonna go get you something to eat-" Watching him stand up, you grabbed his ankle.

"You really don't have-"

"I'm not leaving you like this, Y/N." Sighing, you let go of his ankle, allowing him to walk away as you wiped your mouth, slowly standing up as you washed your face and brushed your teeth again. You felt like complete shit and it didn't help that you were absolutely starving. When was the last time you even ate?

Making your way over to your bed as you curled up into a ball, you only wondered as to how Ben would get you food if he had never been to your kitchen before...unless he had gone out.

Falling in and out of sleep--if it wasn't for your gurgling stomach--you only gazed at the wall ahead of you as there had been nothing else better to do before Ben walked in. "Mac and cheese...because I couldn't find anything else and felt bad rummaging through your stuff." Slowly sitting up, Ben walked over with the bowl and a glass of water, handing it over as he sat in front of you.

"I'm so glad this isn't a first date," You chuckled, taking a sip of the water before placing it down on the nightstand beside you. "Or this would have sucked."

Looking down and smiling, Ben turned his head over at you as he lied his forearms on his thighs. "On the contrary, it would've been a pretty interesting first date." Arching an eyebrow at him as you dug into the pasta, Ben shrugged. "You see, now I'm aware that you are a lightweight so I know not to give you too much to drink, let alone, take you out drinking. And if I do, I know how to take care of you."

Half heartedly smiling, you looked down at the food. "I'm the worst."

"I wouldn't say that, you're a cute drunk." Looking up as you blushed, Ben only laughed. "Don't tell Rey, but I was hoping she wouldn't take you home."

Fighting a smile, you looked back down at the food. "And why is that?"

"Because I wanted to..." Fiddling with his thumbs as he looked away, he then looked up straight ahead. "Since, you know, our little...uh, hangout got interrupted by us sleeping."

Laughing, you pointed with your fork, "Sorry to break it to you, but we fell asleep here, too."

Looking over to you, he swatted a hand. "Yeah, well, that's different. You know, because it was late and...and we were both tired-"

"And I was drunk, I think it was best for the both of us," Taking another bite, Ben nodded in agreement. Feeling the sleepiness take over, you yawned as you tried eating more. "It's super late, I think you should go..."

"I-I, but you're-"

Shaking your head with a smile, Ben had a small frown you easily missed. "I'm fine, I'll be fine, thanks to your gourmet Mac n Cheese, I'll be good."

"You sure? I don't want you puking up again and having no one here, Astro doesn't count," He said, pointing with his thumb towards Astro who was now lying on the bed. "Plus, I think he's too tired."

Laughing, you shoved Ben's arm. "I'm positive, Ben, I'll be fine."

Patting his thighs, he stood up. "Alright, what ever you say-"

Swallowing, you kicked the macaroni around in the bowl with your fork as you muttered. "Uh, unless...unless you wanna, uh, stay the night?" Slightly wincing as you instantly regretted your words, Ben only blinked as he looked over at you.

"Are-are you sure? I-I mean, I don't want you to be uncomfortable with me sleeping on the couch and-"

"On the couch?" Arching an eyebrow, Ben only furrowed his own.

"I mean, there's no other bed..." Ben stated as he looked around. "Unless I sleep on the floor?"

"Ben, I have a king sized bed, I honestly don't mind sharing..." You shook your head, taking the last few bites of the macaroni as Ben nearly choked on his own spit.

"Uh, you...are you sure? Y/N, I don't want to make you...I don't want you to feel uncomfortable having some guy-"

"Some guy? Ben, your my best friends cousin and a guy who literally took care of me even though he barely knew me. Honestly, I wouldn't insist if I didn't feel comfortable or safe. But you-you're fine with me," You shrugged as Ben took in a deep breath.

Exhaling, Ben nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "What do-what do I wear?"

"Uh, I can't offer you anything unless you fit in girls clothing so..." You chuckled.

Standing up as you grabbed the bowl, you went back to the kitchen to place it in the sink before coming back to see Ben awkwardly standing there. "I can just sleep in-in this?"

"In slacks? That must be so uncomfortable..."

"I don't-"

"You can just, you know, wear your underwear?" Growing wide eyed, Ben's face turned red. "Or-or not! Never mind that!"

And so after you changed into your pajamas and got in bed, Ben had found himself lying next to you under the sheets, arms crossed behind his head as he had decided to go with your idea.

"So you're a tighty whities kinda guy?" You teased as you stared up at the ceiling, Ben doing the same.

Nodding his head with a small laugh, Ben smiled. "I'm a tighty whities kinda guy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed :)


	5. V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...I am t r y i n g to win you over..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'

_ "I love you," Turning around to face you as his eyes locked onto your own, you felt your breath hitch. "I love you, Y/N. And I will never stop loving you." Hearing those three words, your heart shot out of your chest, your eyes never leaving his as his to your own. He loved you, he admitted the he loved you, and all you could do was tightly wrap your arms around him. You didn't want to let go, you never wanted to let go, he loved you and you loved him. _

_ Laying your head against his chest as you tightened your grip around him, you let out a small breath as you felt a few tears spill. You didn't want him to suffer any longer, you didn't want him to be conflicted, it was going to be a slow process...but you knew--you knew you were going to somehow bring him back. Shutting his eyes as he held onto you while he let out small breaths, trying to steady his erratic breathing. "I-." Releasing a shaky breath, you felt his clutch onto you grow tense. Closing your eyes, you listened to the scattered beat of his heart, only to reopen your pair and gently push yourself off of him just enough for you to look up. "I love you...too," Tiptoeing, your hands held onto his face as you pressed your lips against his own. _

_ There goes that feeling again. Your heart was fluttering and the taste of your tears and his got in the mess, if you were aware of it, you probably would've gagged...but at the moment, you didn't care, because he loved you and you loved him and thats all you two ever (ever?) wanted. What started off as an innocent kiss only grew more needy, the moment you felt yourself being lifted up as your legs wrapped around his (still sporadically wet) waist. _

_ Walking the two of you over to the bed, Kylo sat on the edge as you practically sat on him, separating from the kiss for a breather as the two of you leaned your foreheads against one another. "I'm sorry..." Kylo mumbled as his grip on your hips constricted. "I'm sorry for the hell I've put you through, you did not deserve-" _

_ "Kylo..." Leaning back, you gently placed your hands on his jawline as your thumbs lied on his cheeks. "Don't apologize, things happen for a reason--for better or for worse. Yes, a lot of bad things have occurred, but look at us...we've grown from this, I've grown from this, and I'm here...I'm real and I'm loving you." Pressing a sweet kiss, you pulled back and nearly dug your head into the crook of his neck as you wrapped your arms over his shoulders. _

_ It was real, you had confirmed it was real, but it didn't feel real. For all Kylo knew, this was just a very vivid nightmare-turned-good-dream. But the way he was holding onto you and the way one of his hands now gently caressed your now short hair and could feel the soft texture slip through his fingers, it was enough to make it real. His heart hadn't felt this way in so long, it felt so...strange. He was so used to loving you from afar--very far--and knowing you'd never love him back the same again, but he had now found himself sitting with you as you held onto him like an Ewok. _

_ Breathing in the air as he shut his eyes to reminisce over what had happened only moments ago, a small puff of air left his mouth as he clutched onto your hair just enough not to hurt you. He loved you, and this time, he wasn't going to let you go...no matter what was at stake in the near future. "I loved you, I'm loving you," You reminded, leaving a small kiss on the skin where his shoulder and neck met. "And I love you..." Now looking back up at him, you gave him a smile, only for your attention to shift over to the scar, your finger subconsciously trailing the damaged skin. _

_ Remembering your previous desire, you only leaned in and left a trail of kisses along the healed injury, causing Kylo to close his eyes from the sudden change in heart beat as he felt his stomach flip from the simple--yet, sincere--gesture. The tugging from the corner of his lips only made a small smile appear as his hands slid across your back before he snaked his arms around you once again. _

Knitting his eyebrows, Ben fluttered his eyes open, the first thing in his line of vision being a pile of hair sprawled around the pillow. Smiling to himself, he hadn't realized how close you were to his chest, let alone, how his arm was draped over your waist as the other was under his head. Untangling his hand from your hair, an instant rush of blood rose to his face as he hadn't realize how intimate it must've seemed. If someone had walked in, they easily would've assumed you two had slept together--and not in the actual sleeping terminology.

Seeing as some of your hair blocked your face, Ben gently brushed it to a side as he gazed at your sleeping state. He wasn't sure whether he should get up and get you some medicine, but that meant removing himself from you and waking you up, or wait till you woke up yourself. Either way, you must've sensed his awakening because a small yawn left your lips as you stretched your arm, only to realized it was lying against skin--and not your own.

Blinking, your eyebrows furrowed as you realized it was Ben's chest. "Oh, I'm sorry..." Carefully pushing yourself away, you noticed Ben's arms around your waist. "Did we...did we do this during our sleep?" Looking up at him, Ben nodded.

"I should've warned you that I'm the _cuddly_ kind." Hearing his voice only sent chills throughout your body at how rough and deep it was. So that was his morning voice.

Sitting up as you tried not blushing, you rubbed your forehead as you felt your head pounding. At least it wasn't as bad as you expected. "It's alright, I'm sure holding a human is better than holding a pillow," You chuckled as Ben did, too. "I should go brush my teeth..." Pointing to your bathroom, you slowly stood up and went over, shutting the door behind you.

Lying on his back, Ben crossed his arms behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling, smiling to himself. As much as the dreams were driving him insane, he couldn't help but feel himself falling in love with you all over again. The fact that he had only "known" you for three days now didn't seem to bother him, because (in reality) he had known you for a lifetime.

You just had _yet_ to realize it yourself.

Getting lost in his thoughts, he sighed as he realized you really weren't his, you two were just friends...who casually fall asleep together. At least the first two times were accidental and the most recent was offered. Rolling himself off the bed, he slid his pants back on.

Feeling a bit more awake than before, you exited the bathroom with a new toothbrush in your hand that was still in its package, only to come to a stop as your eyes landed on his chest. You'd be lying if you said you weren't taking advantage to gawk now than you could last night. "I'm amazed my back isn't killing me, I'm sure we stayed like that for a good few hours, seeing that it's already ten in the morning." Ben stated, causing you to shut your wide open jaw as you walked over, looking at the clock on your night stand.

"Ten? Wow, I'm amazed I didn't wake up later..." Handing him the toothbrush, he smiled at you as he made his way over to the bathroom, buttoned up shirt in his free hand as he flung it over his shoulder.

Heading over to the kitchen, you decided to eat a banana before taking the medicine, knowing that you were on a partially empty stomach--or hole as you were sure you puked out your entire stomach last night and only had mac n cheese. "I was wondering if you'd wanna get breakfast together?" Ben called out from where he was as you refilled Astro's bowl.

Smiling to yourself, you leaned against the counter. "Yeah, sure!" Finishing the banana, you tossed the peel before popping a pair of advils in your mouth, chugging a bit of water.

"Good, cause I know a great place," He smiled, popping out from behind the wall of your room.

"Really? Where?" You curiously asked as Ben pulled on his shirt and began buttoning up the buttons.

"Can't say, it's a secret," He winked, causing you to shake your head. "And I suggest we go soon."

Walking past him as you went to your closet, you pulled out a pair of leggings and a jumper, changing into them before walking back out of it. "It must be very good if its a secret..." Walking to your dresser, you brushed your hair before walking over to Ben. "And if it's not, I'll be disappointed..." Frowning, Ben only rolled his eyes.

"I promise it's that good." Walking over to your door, you grabbed your purse and slid on some shoes before following him behind.

" _That_ good?"

" _That_ good."

Making your way out of the building and along the sidewalk, you had found yourself asking him how embarrassing you were last night, only to hear you weren't even that bad. Although you did feel terrible, you were thankful that he had watched over you the entire night...even if that meant you were actually nervous out of your mind to have him sleeping on your bed with you.

"And here it is." Ben came to a stop, causing you to arch an eyebrow. "What?"

"This is it?" You questioned, laughing ironically.

"Yeah, why?" Opening the door for you, you looked over at him before walking in.

"Because this is my favorite place to go to for coffee when I'm not in a hurry," You grinned, finding a table for the two of you.

"You come here often?" Ben asked as he sat across from you at the small table, you nodding. "Funny...I've never seen you here."

"Why, do you?" You questioned.

"Well, yeah, I kinda own the place." Nearly choking, your eyes widened. "You okay?"

"You-you own it?!" You exclaimed.

"Yeah, but my good friend Maz runs it...speaking of which," Looking around the place, he instantly waved at someone.

"Maz?" The name ringing a bell, that is until a small old woman approached the table, Ben hugging her as she held tightly on to him. " _That_ Maz?"

Letting go of the old woman, Ben looked back at you. "You know her?"

"I just met her a few days ago..." Knitting your eyebrows, you looked at Maz.

"The girl who rereads the same book over and over again..." Maz smiled. "Let me tell you, I always find her crying because of that damned book," She told Ben, causing you to hide your face in your hands as Ben laughed, holding onto your wrists.

"It's alright, I cry over books--well--a particular book," Ben smiled as you looked up, cheeks red from embarrassment.

"Oh, yes, Ben cries a lot reading this book...I swear, he reads it like its the bible..." Maz whispered over to you as Ben rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I can still hear you." Ben called out.

"Oh, hush, you..." Swatting a hand, she only held onto yours. "I did not know Ben was seeing someone, especially someone as beautiful as you!" Maz grinned, causing you to blush up more.

"We're not-"

"Uh, Maz, I'm-"

"You two are perfect for each other, I see it! Your parents would be proud of you, Ben." Maz pointed a finger, you and Ben slamming your faces into the palm of your hands. "I knew you'd find the one eventually! All those other contenders were worthless." Shooting his head up, you only looked up with raised eyebrows.

"Maz, please..." Ben whined.

"Oh, don't tell me I'm interrupting a date! For that, I'll bring out both of your usuals right away!" Letting go of your hand, the old woman darted off, leaving you and Ben in silence.

"I'm sorry..."

"No-no...it's fine. It's fine, really," You nodded, awkwardly looking around as you were too nervous to look him in the eye. "It's not like she's right, right?"

"Yeah, no, we're just friends," Ben nodded as you shrugged.

"Yeah, yes, exactly! Just friends..." Nodding your own head, you and Ben only sighed at how awkward the ambience was around you two.

Feeling his phone vibrate, he pulled it out, only to see a mess of messages from his mother. "Oh, God..."

"What is it?" You curiously asked, breaking the silence.

"My mother..." He smiled sarcastically, locking his phone and placing it down. "She told me you have the week off...and apparently Rey told her about me taking you home, too."

"Oh, really?" Knitting your eyebrows, he nodded. "I wonder why?"

"That's because she, uh, wants me to hang with you," He nervously chuckled, awkwardly playing with his phone. "All week..."

Smiling, you only snickered. "Well, it seems as if we must be five year olds being assigned to a play date," You laughed. "I guess we're best friends now!" You teased, causing Ben to look up. "Though I'm sure Rey would be _highly_ offended that you took her spot...her own cousin." Shaking your head, you sighed.

Sitting back, Ben only crossed his arms, "Oh, I'm sure I'm a _far_ better friend than she'd ever be," He scoffed, causing you to nod.

"Really? You are?" You laughed.

"Mhm..." He nodded. "I did just take care of you last night, didn't I?"

"That is true, but that's not enough." Hearing him gasp, you continued on. "I guess you're just gonna have to prove it even more..." Lying back in your seat, Ben sat up and stuck out his hand.

"Fine, from today till next Saturday, I have to make each and everyday great. If I do so, then I take the place of being your best friend." Smirking, you sat up and grabbed his hand, shaking it.

"You've got a deal, Solo. But you're gonna have to be the one to break it to Rey," You pointed a finger.

"Fair enough. Let the week begin."

. . .

Breakfast was better than you had expected; instead it being filled with awkward silences, it was filled with nothing but laughs and smiles. Ben was quite the guy to share stories, and you yourself had a few to share about the babies you handled, so it worked out well. Most of the time, you two had even forgotten you were eating until Maz had walked over and scolded the two of you for not appreciating the food.

"You were right, Ben," You smiled as you clutched onto the long sleeves of your shirt, "It was _that_ great."

Nodding his head as he walked alongside you, he buried his hands into the pockets of his slacks. "I'm glad-"

"But, I'm quite offended that you paid!" Smacking his arm, he only flinched with a snicker. "I'm a big girl, I make money, too!"

"Look, it's being courteous, alright? Sheesh!" Fighting back a laugh, Ben kept his attention ahead as you just sighed.

"I hate you..." You lied.

"I should be offended, but I'm not." He snorted, causing you to gasp.

"Okay, wow! You're on a roll!" Quickening up your speed, Ben followed closely behind.

"Oh, relax, Y/N...I am _very_ offended, alright? I mean, I _am_ trying to win you over..." He nodded.

"You're off to a bad start, mister," You pointed a finger as the two of you came to a stop, Ben grabbing onto your finger as he leaned forward.

"I did just take you to the best breakfast ever, and I was about to take you over to MoMa...but then I realized, we haven't showered and you kinda don't deserve it," Shrugging, he let go of your finger before walking off, hearing you scoff.

"Ben Solo, how dare you!" Quickly following after, you grabbed his arm. "How could you possibly threaten me like that! MoMa is so beautiful, that is so cruel of you!" Looking up at him, Ben looked over and smirked.

"Then I guess you're just gonna have to earn it-"

"No way! I wanna go to MoMa!" You exclaimed.

"Alright, fine." Turning to face you, he pinched your cheek. "How about you shower first and then I'll meet you at your loft around four, got it?" Nodding eagerly, Ben patted the top of your head. "See you then!" He waved before running off.

Releasing a deep breath, you only smiled to yourself as you turned around and walked off in the direction to your loft. You didn't know how you were so lucky to have met a guy like him, but you were exceedingly grateful for the run in.

Rushing back to his condo, Ben eagerly stripped himself from his clothing and tossed it into the laundry bin, frantically making his way around his bathroom before entering the shower. He couldn't help but feel the least bit of excited. Was this going to be a date? Or maybe just a simple hangout? After all, the breakfast was nice but it wasn't a date, so what if the art museum idea did turn into a date?

The anticipation was eating him alive, if this was going to turn into a date, he was going to make it worth while. Anything to finally have you back in his life the proper way...the way it was supposed to be if things hadn't gone the way they did in the other life.

He loved you, he loved you with all his heart and he had to stop the sudden urges to hold or kiss you whenever he pleased because you weren't his. But, by the way the things were going, it seemed as if you were going to be his again in no time. He just prayed nothing screwed it up. For once, things were going right.

Quickly showering yourself and ridding the disgust you had felt from last night, you were amazed at how comfortable you felt with Ben even if you had felt grossed out for being in your condition. Thoroughly cleaning yourself and making sure you smelt better than a garden, you instantly wrapped your towel around yourself as you blowdried your hair. 

"Astro!" You called out, instantly hearing the dog rush over. "You're gonna help me choose an outfit, alright?" Hearing him bark, you clapped. "Good! Alright, so...skinny jeans and a long sleeved tee with booties or a dress with a jean jacket and flats ?" You presented over to the hangers in your hands, only to see him nudge his head towards the skinny jeans outfit. "Ah, yeah, the other one is too much...thank you!" Placing the outfit down, you patted his head before placing the other outfit back, instantly changing.

You weren't sure if you were that excited or just insanely nervous because your stomach was being hoarded by butterflies. You couldn't help but imagine--wonder--if this was or could be a date. Deep down inside you had hoped it was...or at least would turn into one.

Applying your makeup, you instantly heard a knock on your front door, Astro barking as he ran over, clawing at the metallic door before you finished up and made your way over. "Jeez...someone's excited." Sliding the door open, Ben smiled over at you with one of his hands behind his back, only to have Astro jump on him.

"Whoa, hey there, buddy!" He smiled, petting the dog as you casually watched the two. "As much as I love to see you, I'm here for your mom."

Snorting, you rolled your eyes. "Mom?"

"Well, I'm not gonna say owner, am I? Kinda cruel," He nodded as you only thought about it.

"That is true..." Walking to a side as you let him in, Astro sat beside you before Ben pulled out his arm from behind.

"I thought it would be a nice thing to give seeing as you've had a rough night..." Nearly gasping at the flowers, you grabbed on to the bouquet.

"Stargazers and roses? H-how did you know?" Walking over to the kitchen as you went to find a vase, Ben fought his grin.

"Uh...I guessed?" He lied.

"Rey told you, didn't she?" Placing the flowers into the water filled vase, you gazed at them.

"Yeah...sure..." He simply nodded, you rushing over and pulling him into a tight hug.

"Oh, thank you, thank you! They're perfect!" You smiled, tightening your grip around him as you felt his arms wrap around you, the man slightly bending forward in doing so.

"It's no problem, I thought it would be a nice thing to have..." He nodded, smiling into the hug as he took in the moment. As far as he knows, this could be the only hug he gets for who knows how long.

"Yes, they really are!" Letting go from the hug, you went to grab your purse before saying goodbye to Astro. "See you later," Kissing the dogs head and ruffling with his fur, you stood back up, Ben waving at the dog before exiting your loft with you. "Oh, I've only been to MoMa once, I'm so excited!" You nearly squealed as you walked alongside Ben. "Have you ever gone?"

"A couple of times," He simply shrugged. "My mother likes modern art so she tends to celebrate her birthdays or mother-son days by going there."

Smiling up at him, the two of you went down the stairs as you teased him. "Aw, mommas boy, how cute."

Faking a laugh, Ben rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Actually, now that I think of it, I think you're my competition."

"How's that?"

"Yesterday at Rey's engagement party, she wouldn't stop talking about the neonatal nurse at Resistance hospital..." Ben stated, causing you to pout slightly as you listened. "Just never knew it was you."

"So, you're implying that Leia gloats about me?" You asked as Ben turned his head to give you a look.

"Implying? No, I'm _saying_. She talks so highly of you and how much of a hard worker you are working over the necessary hours. I'm a bit jealous at how much she seems to adore you," He lifted his hands up, causing you chuckle.

"Why? Do you want her to adore you more?" You nudged his arm as the two of you reached the bottom.

"Actually, she's doing all the adoring I should be doing." Freezing in your spot as Ben went to open the door, you felt your cheeks burn as your mouth twitched into a smile.

"So you adore me?" You asked, trying not to express your grin even more, although your cheeks had been hurting.

"Did I really just say that? You know what, I think I-" Rushing up to him, you smiled.

"You adore me?" Nodding your head, Ben looked down and tried fighting his grin. "You do..."

"Well, it's hard not to when you're always there...lately. And when my mother just speaks about you with such passion...plus, last night wasn't so bad, taking care of you felt right." He simply shrugged before walking off as you stood there with wide eyes and a hanging jaw.

You couldn't recall any time someone said they adored you...adore, that was a word you'd only hear from yourself speaking about Astro, not someone speaking about you. "Well, if you adore me...then I adore you!" You called out, causing Ben to pause, only to shake his head and walk over to you, grabbing your hand and tugging you along. "It's quite obvious that I do since I literally said it last night without _really_ saying it-"

"You sure you're _not_ still drunk?" He asked as he peeked a look over at you.

"No! No, I mean it! I adore you too! As long as you adore me back, I don't do one sided adoring." Hearing Ben chuckle, you only grinned.

"You're one of a kind, y/n. It's hard _not_ to adore you."


	6. VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...all this f l i r t i n g isn't good for you..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can also find me on tumblr under the user 'kyloholic' + enjoy!

It was safe to say that you felt like a kid walking through the art museum--you had never seen anything quite like it. After living in New York your whole life, you questioned as to why you had never been to one of the most well known art museums in the country more than once. Most of the time, you were jumping from artwork to artwork, asking Ben to take photos with you as you posed with them, only to ask him to pose in front of a few as people walking by couldn't help but laugh at how _not_ into it Ben was.

"Oh, come on! One more, please!" You begged Ben as you held his phone.

"No, I don't do posing with art pieces..." He shook his head. "It's enough I did like five of them-"

"C'mon! Art meets art, it's perfect!" You exclaimed, giving him a nod as he arched an eyebrow.

"Art means art? I think you mean _you_ and the art, not _me_ and the art." He snickered as he took his phone from your grip.

"Well, with that hair of yours, you're pretty much a work of art yourself...but whatever you say, bud!" Shrugging, you rushed over to the sculpture and tried mocking the pose, only to hear Ben laugh as he took the photo.

"I'm sure by now my phone is filled with photos of you." Ben stated as he scrolled through the photo library, over a hundred of them consisting of you. "I don't think it's fair."

Gasping, you then looked at the photos with him. "I think I look great, you should appreciate the real masterpiece." You winked before walking off.

"Oh, you don't understand..."

Pushing the doors open to the terrace, you smiled at the greenery and surrounding people. "Come, Ben, there's a cute little pond thingy!" You waved your hand as Ben proceeded to walk over. "Look how pretty!" Pointing over, you grabbed his hand and tugged him over to the railless bridge.

"You know, this the perfect spot to push you in," He smiled over at you as you took one big step away.

"No-no... _no_. I do not want to get banned from here, Ben!" You pointed a finger as he creeped over at you. "Ben! I'm serious, do not do it!" Backing up, he only picked you up by the waist and threw you over his shoulder. "Ben, I am going to-"

"What? I think it's time we go, it's almost eight and I'm hungry." Narrowing your eyebrows, you let out a huff.

"Fine, fine...only because I made you spend like three hours taking photos of me," You sighed as Ben smiled; as if he _didn't_ want to take the photos of you. "I suppose it's fair..."

Placing you down, he then grinned as you rolled your eyes, trying not to smile back. "Well I'm glad you enjoyed it, now that's-"

"No!" Pointing a finger as you placed it on his lips, you shook your head. "No no, I don't owe you anything more."

Pushing your hand down by your wrist, he chuckled. "I was gonna say, that's what you need more often...you know, go out...not work."

Frowning, you looked away. "Oh...well I have no one to do it with since Rey's with Finn and-"

"You've got me now," Ben simply stated, causing you to look up. "Just tell me where and I'll take you." Feeling a smile grow on your face, you wrapped your arms around his as the two of you walked along.

"Anywhere?"

" _Anywhere_."

And your anywhere was literally to have dinner at Central Park while simply eating pizza. In all honesty, you've done it before but Astro kept eating your pizza and you had to keep shooing him and, well, it didn't turn out as you planned.

But this time around, it was so... _lovely_. Ben decided to buy a little blanket rather than making you sit on the grass as the two of you sat under the stars, watching people walk or jog by with their pets, kids, or friends and you had to admit, it was all _perfect_.

"Okay, so, how about this. We drive to Queensbury and go to Great Escape! You know? The theme park?" You nodded your head eagerly as Ben raised an eyebrow.

"Why not just go to Six Flags in New Jersey? They have like two Batman rides and a Superman-"

"Oh, yes! That's even better!" You clapped as Ben chuckled.

"I guess it's a date then," Shrugging, he bit into his slice as you nodded, only to blink and look back over at him.

"Date?" You questioned.

"I-I mean-" Speaking with his mouth full, you only shook your head with a small laugh. "I mean a friend date...you know-"

"Honestly, I thought this was a date..." You trailed, looking down at the blanket as Ben swallowed the piece he had slowly chewed.

"Do-do you want it to be a date?" Looking over at him, your eyebrows knitted the lightest. "It...it totally can be a date if you want it to be?"

Smiling, Ben looked at you wide eyed as you simply nodded. "I kinda hope it was because it was really nice..."

"Good, because it's totally a date, those were my _full_ on intentions." Nodding his head, you laughed.

"You're too cute for your own good," Tackling him in a hug, the two of you nearly tipped over the pizza box, only to burst out into laughter.

. . .

"Today made up for last nights embarrassment," You nodded, walking alongside Ben as you dug your hands into your jeans pockets midway.

"Embarrassment? You weren't bad-" Giving him a look, he lifted up his hands in defense. "I promise you, you weren't bad. I didn't even feel the least bit disgusted, I truly felt terrible you had to go through it."

"How were you not? I've puked once in front of a guy I was on a date on because I had gotten food poisoning and he literally left me there. It was the worst, he didn't even ask if I was okay," You rolled your eyes, causing Ben to clench his jaw.

"That's not a way to treat a lady." He responded, irritated at the fact you had to go through that.

"At all, but that was then. I've had my fair share of terrible dates, I think it was about time I ran into a decent guy-" Thinking about it, you corrected yourself, "actually, a _great_ guy, I'll give you that. Only three days into this friendship and it feels as if I've known you most of my life." Smiling up at him, he softly smiled back, only to feel his heart ache. If only you _knew_.

"I'll admit, I've dated around too and they weren't all that great. My mom actually never liked anyone I was with...and she's quite the judge." He sighed.

"Well, she likes me!" You added, causing Ben to lightly laugh as he nodded in agreement.

"That is true. If I told her we went on a 'date' she'd probably go crazy..."

Tilting your head, you looked over at him. "Why's that?"

"Well, you see...my mom had been insisting I'd meet this nurse that works at the Resistance hospital and she always spoke about how amazing and bright this young woman was..." Clearing his throat, he kept his focus ahead, "All because she thought that _she_ was the one for me." Blushing, you looked away.

"And I'm the she?" You asked, looking up at him and fighting a smile.

Turning his head to look at you, he grinned. "You're the she."

"Well, the she thinks you did wonderful on the first date and _she_ is looking forward to the next," Tip-toeing, you left a sweet kiss on his cheek as you approached your lofts door. "And _she_ thanks you for it."

"Well tell her I'd do it again." He smiled down at you as you nodded, unlocking the door and sliding it open.

"Do you wanna come inside?" You asked, Astro already at yours and Ben's legs, moving back and forth. "I think Astro wants you to."

"Astro? Or you?" He smirked, causing you to shrug.

"Both, perhaps?" Gesturing for him to walk in, Ben went inside as Astro followed, you biting your lower lip as you slid the door shut. "I don't think it's a smart idea we do a movie as a date as I'm pretty sure that'll end with us sleeping." Placing your purse down on the kitchen counter as you refilled Astro's bowl, Ben nodded in agreement as he was crouched, messing around with the pup.

"I can agree on that, although I'd love to take you to a movie one day...maybe a drive-in." Smiling to yourself, you tried not showing excitement, putting the dog food away as you walked back over to him. "Maybe Finding Dory? We should see it."

"Okay, I've been waiting _years_!" You expressed, causing Ben to chuckle as Astro went over to his bowl. "But we'd have to keep each other awake." Pointing a finger, Ben nodded as he stood up.

"Deal," Sticking out his hand, you shook it. "Would you like to watch a movie?" Rollin your eyes, you nodded. "You're such a sucker," He shook his head as he walked over to your couch, you grabbing the remote and tossing it to him as you sat down.

"Sadly, but only for you." You winked, causing Ben to look away the slightest as he tried putting his attention on the tv screen.

"You know, all this flirting isn't good for you, y/n." Ben stated, as you arched an eyebrow.

"Why's that?" You asked grabbing a blanket and sprawling it on the two of you as you both got in your usual movie-watching position.

"It makes me want to go on another date with you already." Looking over at you, you only scrunched up your nose before standing up and grabbing the remote, shutting off the tv.

"Ice cream date! Let's go on an ice cream date!" You exclaimed, grabbing his hands and standing him up. "There's this place I love going to," Quickly grabbing your keys from your purse, you turned back to Ben, "but it's a bit far and it's quite the walk but if we drive-"

"I'll drive," He said, snagging the keys from you. Smiling up at him, you watched him walk over to the door and slide it up in as you quietly cheered to yourself before rushing to his side.

. . .

"There's this little baby girl at work, her names Daisy, and I absolutely adore her," You said, holding onto your ice cream as you licked at it here and there. "She's an angel and I was hoping I could see her before she leaves home..." Continuing on with the conversation, Ben couldn't help but think of what you two almost had--a _family_. He had wondered if your last self had known about the twins or was even aware that you were going to have kids. He couldn't help but feel saddened by the fact of how happy you got over the topic of babies, he knew for a fact you would've been a great mother.

Then it made him wonder if you wanted kids now. With the job you had and how you spoke about little Daisy, it seemed as if you did. You were radiating joy each second you spoke about them, as if your job was the best one in the world. Funny thing how you practically had the same job in your past life without even knowing it.

Ben couldn't help but fantasize over the idea of having a family with you, let alone, _being_ with you. He had so many opportunities in his past life that he had lost, yet here he was, with you for another round. Except this time, he wasn't going to take it for granted. He was going to cherish you the way he wanted to, to treat you the way you should've been treated, to love you with all his heart and more.

"I asked my coworker to let me know when exactly they'd be letting her out and apparently it's tomorrow so I was thinking of stopping by at work...although Leia doesn't want me to step a single foot in the building, but I can't just pass up on the opportunity," You frowned.

"You should totally go, you seem pretty attached to the little one," Ben nodded as he took a scoop from his small bowl of ice cream.

"Would you want to go with me? You could see where I work and all the lovely faces I deal with." You asked with such a bright smile, Ben nodding as he took another scoop.

"Of course, babies are cute to see."

"Perfect! Just, you know, don't tell your mom," Licking your ice cream, Ben laughed.

Winking, he gave you a thumbs up. "My lips are sealed."

. . .

"Why is it that we always get stuck in the rain," You asked, looking out the window as it fogged up. "Well, I mean, this is our second time..." Looking over to Ben, he simply shrugged.

"And you're sure you have no umbrellas in here?" Shaking your head, Ben laughed. "Do you like being soaked by rain water?"

"No! It's just...I don't know? I own like one umbrella and I don't even know where it is." Shaking his head, you chuckled. "What? I seriously don't!"

"And you're an adult?" You nodded. "With a job? You get paid...and you don't own an umbrella?"

Swatting his arm, you pointed a finger. "I own _one_!"

"One in which you have no clue as to where it even is!" He laughed as you shoved him. "I'm just saying, I think you like the rain-"

"And I think you like being attacked," Shoving his arm as Ben kept pushing your arms away, he stuck out his tongue. "Real mature of you, Solo!"

"Oh, last name basis, are we?" Raising an eyebrow up at you, you stuck your tongue back out at him. "And you complain that _I'm_ not mature."

"Cause you're so not!" Swatting him, Ben blocked.

"So am!"

"Not!"

"Am!"

Watching your arms flail around as he tried shoving them away, he only got a hold of your hands as you found yourself rather close to him. "Not..." You softly spoke as your eyes trailed down from his eyes, to his lips, only to gulp.

Doing the same to you, Ben couldn't help but stare at your lips as he responded back. "Am..."

Blinking as you sat silence, hearing the rain pour down, you slowly leaned in before Ben had let go of your hands, his falling on your hips as yours held onto his cheeks, closing the gap between the two of you.

On your end, you felt yourself slipping into some sort of fantasy land, as if his kiss was otherworldly. It was sweet and simple, but there was a hint of desire coming from his end, and for some reason, you had felt it in yourself, too. Gliding your hands down to his shoulders as one held onto the back of his neck, the kiss deepened as you took in small breaths here and there while Ben's grip on your hips tightened.

On Ben's end, there wasn't a single word that could describe how happy he was that this was _finally_ happening. He had craved your lips for so long that it felt as if he were kissing you for the first time all over again. It was euphoric and beyond satisfying and he couldn't help but want _more_. After all, it had been a whole lifetime since he had last kissed you.

You weren't sure if it was the rain or how passionate the intimacy was that made the windows fog up even more when the two of you had separated, you looking into Ben eyes as he did the same to you in complete silence as you two took in low, deep breaths. "I'm-I'm sor-"

Pulling you back into the kiss, Ben's hands were now on your cheeks as one of yours lied on the glove compartment to balance yourself as the other got lost in his hair.

You didn't know what it was that was taking over you, but it felt as if you had kissed him before and you absolutely loved it that you couldn't help but fight for it to grow deeper. If it wasn't that your heart was pounding in your ears and that your stomach had been turning, you were sure you'd deepen it yourself.

But it was if Ben could hear your thoughts, and that's exactly what he did. His hold felt as if he never wanted to let go and you couldn't help but grab a fistful of his hair, free hand nearly clawing at the glove compartment as you had nothing else to hold onto to keep you balanced. That is until Ben had pulled you on him, his hands gripping on your hips again as yours on his shoulders.

If there had ever been anything intimate in your life, you were sure this one out shined them all. It was so simple yet everything you could have ever asked for. It felt _right_. It felt _perfect_. And it felt as if your lips were meant to be against his and _only_ his.

And you _loved_ it.

You loved the feeling it gave you; the way the goosebumps grew along your skin, the way the chills rolled down your spine as he held ever so tightly on to you as if he never intended to letting you go.

It felt wonderful and it felt as if this was what you had wanted for a while and finally, after so long, you were getting what you wished for.

As for Ben, it was a whole other story. All he could think about was how he clearly wasn't going to let anything--or _anyone_ of that matter--get in between you and him. Because in the end, he _deserved_ this.

Because he loved you and he _never_ stopped loving you, even after your death.


	7. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...and I f a i l e d you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *mentions of blood due to a flashback*
> 
> you can also find me on tumblr under the username "kyloholic"

It must've been a while since the rain had cooled off because after that rather heated kiss you two shared, Ben had thought it was best to just 'nap' in the car, not realizing the nap almost turned out into a full nights sleep until you heard thunder rumbling. Pushing yourself up as you had lied on Bens chest on the now reclined seat, you looked over at the cars clock to see it was half past one in the morning. You two had easily been in there for almost three hours. "Ben," Gently nudging him, he only groaned the slightest as he turned his head. "Beeennn..." Holding onto his jaw as you turned his face to look at you, you huffed. "It's 1:30 in the morning, I think we should just go inside.

Letting out a small moan, he's eyes fluttered open, a smile creeping on his face as he looked up at you. "I had this wildest dream that we casually made out in the car..." He slightly smirked as you rolled his eyes, fighting a grin.

"You know for a fact that was real," Fixing the chair so it would be at an upright angle, Ben turned off the car as you were about to move off of him, only for him to hold you down. "What?"

"Can I kiss you again?" Arching an eyebrow at him, you lightly chuckled.

"Why are you asking?"

"To be respectful...we aren't really a thing, you know..." He trailed, focus shifting from your lips, up to your eyes.

"We aren't? I could've sworn kissing on our second date meant we were official," You joked with a pout, causing Ben to chuckle. "But I appreciate your respect." Nodding your head, Ben smiled. "You can kiss me again." Holding onto your cheek and leaning in, Ben pressed a soft kiss against your lips before leaning back.

"Thank you," He lightly smiled, gazing at you with pure adoration.

"I'd kiss you again but my back is kinda aching and the steering wheel is kinda shoved up against my lower back-"

"Oh-oh, sorry!" Unlocking the door and pushing it open, you jumped out as Ben followed, you two rushing to the main entrance of the building as Ben had locked the car. "I'm sorry, I-"

"It's fine," You swatted a hand, "I've always wanted to be kissed in a car," Winking, you pushed open the door as Ben stood there blinking, shaking away any thoughts before following you behind.

It was safe to say Astro wasn't so happy that you had been gone for a while, but as soon as Ben had walked in after you, that all changed. "Is it safe to say he loves me?"

"I think so..." Grabbing the keys from Ben's hand, you placed them on the counter before yawning. "Are you gonna go home now?" You asked, looking over your shoulders. "I've kept you away for a while..."

"Uh, if you want me to?" Yawning, Ben only laughed as you pointed a finger.

"It's contagious, I see." Kicking off your booties and placing them to a side, Ben stood there as Astro sat by his side. "I don't want you to go, not in this weather and not in your sleepy state," You stated.

"Oh, I really don't want to sleep in my underwear in your bed again, I feel terrible," Rubbing the back of his neck, Ben looked away.

"No, no, don't be! I honestly forgot about that..." You actually had, what overwhelmed you more than a nearly naked Ben was the fact that you were _actually_ sleeping with him.

"I'll crash on the couch..." He pointed over, walking to it and sitting down.

"No way, that's uncomfortable," Crossing your arms as you walked up to him, Ben shrugged.

"I can stay in my clothes here and won't have to hog up-"

"If you're sleeping there, then so am I," You simply stated, causing Ben's eyebrows to furrow.

"W-why? You've got a perfectly good bed-"

"That could be shared with a person of your height, but I'm not gonna continue on this banter on where to sleep so I'm sleeping on you, uh, with you..." You corrected with a nod as Ben fought a grin.

Sighing, he lied down as you went to grab a blanket. "You can sleep _on_ me if that makes you happy." Fighting back a smile, you lied down beside him, only for him to wrap his arms around you and pull you on top. "God, you're so small..."

"It's a perk of dating a man your size." Snuggling against his chest, you had already felt yourself dozing off as Ben lied there, gazing up at the ceiling.

He couldn't help but have those thoughts again of how he was so lucky to be in this exact time and place as you. Out of all time periods and universes to be reincarnated in, he was lucky enough to be here with you.

And that's all that mattered.

. . .

Hearing a rather heavy knock on your door, you instantly fell off Ben's chest and fell right on your ass with a thud, hissing at the pain as Ben looked over with sleepy eyes in confusion. "Y/N?" Hearing the familiar voice from the other side of the door, your eyes grew wide as you shot up.

"That's Rey!" You whispered to Ben as he yawned, you quickly covering his mouth as his eyebrows knitted. "She can't know that you're here!"

"Okay, then what do you suggest?" Grabbing his hands, you pulled him up and rushed over to your room.

"Go hide or something," Swatting your hands, you closed the door before rushing back over to the main one.

"Y/N?" Hearing the knock again, Astro bounced off of the couch and followed you.

Sliding the door open, you yawned and outstretched your arm onto the door frame. "Hey, Rey..."

"I was worried about you, you know? It's been a whole day and you hadn't answered any of my messages," Pointing at her phone, your eyes widened. "Yeah, what were you doing that you were 'so' busy? I know you're on your phone because you go crazy on snapchat with vids of Astro..."

"Oh, I was detoxing from it all," You lied with a nod. "Since two nights ago was pretty intense, I took a day to myself and relaxed." Smiling, Rey only arched an eyebrow.

"And my cousin?"

Gulping, you laughed. "What about your cousin?"

"How was he with you?" Crossing her arms, you only shrugged.

"He was very helpful and kind, a true good man," Giving her a thumbs up, she only nodded.

"Do you, by chance, know where he is? He hasn't really answered his phone either and he's not at his condo..." Rey asked, eyes trailing around your living room.

"Nope, I have no idea. He stayed until I was well enough to handle myself, then he left," You stated as Rey only hummed.

"Hmm...that's weird."

"Very, did you ask Han and Leia?" Tilting your head, Rey chuckled.

"Those were the ones who are lookin for Ben...seeing as he isn't here, or anywhere of that matter, he probably went on one of his last minute trips out of town."

"Oh, that's cool?" Your eyebrows furrowed. "Well, it's like...seven in the morning and I'm sleepy and I'd like to go back to bed-"

"In that?" She pointed to your outfit as your heart sunk. "Did you fall asleep in your clothes, on the couch again?"

"Wh-yeah! You know me so well!" You pointed a finger. "I went to Central Park with Astro yesterday and I was dead tired..."

"Wow, well, if you don't mind...can you get me some water? I was on my morning run and ran out," She smiled, handing you her empty water bottle as you forced a smile and moved to the side, letting her in. "Hey, Astro," She smiled over as you went to the fridge, hoping she went nowhere near your room.

Watching her from the corner of your eyes as she casually roamed around, walking dangerously close to your room, Astro suddenly nudged her and walked over to the front door, making her follow. Sighing in relief, you watched as Astro handed her a ball while you went back to give her her bottle. "I'll trade you," You smiled, grabbing the ball as she grabbed the bottle.

"Thanks, I'll see you around," She smiled with a wave.

"Hope you find Ben!" You waved back while shutting the door. Leaning your back against it, you took in a deep breath as Astro barked. "Thanks, buddy." Tossing the ball, he went after it as you aimed for your bedroom. "She's g-" Tilting your head, you smiled at the sight of Ben lying on your bed, above your sheets as if he had accidentally fallen asleep. "When I said something else, I didn't mean this..."

Instead of waking him up, you climbed in with him, sliding under his arm as you nestled yourself in his chest and taking in his warmth. This was something you could get used to.

Peeking an eye open, Ben smiled to himself as he pulled you closer, appreciating the closeness you two shared. He was getting closer and closer to having you like he once did before.

_"Well, you know, they don't have the easiest job in the galaxy...especially when there's a chance that they can go into war at anytime..." Nodding in agreement, you took the drink straight out of your brothers hand and took a swig from it. In all honesty, all you needed now was some alcohol in your system. You deserved it! At such a young age, you were already studying your ass off more than a sane person was. It was your day off and you had to spend it at a social gathering, might as well enjoy yourself._

_"Yeah, yeah," Wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, you handed his drink back, "I'll see you two later, I'm hungry." Waving a goodbye, you walked off. In and out, in and out, in and out--was all you kept thinking. You aimed for the food table, your eyes fixed on the platters you were soon going to devour. You were, in simple terms, starving. Today had been yet another long day with your studies and the only thing you had to eat was a small bowl of cereal (that you didn't even finish). So, of course, your stomach was craving anything to fill it._

_Approaching the table, you felt your heart doing summersaults. You really loved food, especially when there was a vast variety. "Where do I even start?" Tapping your chin, you picked at a few things here and there, not wanting to seem like a Gamorrean as you ate. "Oh man, one thing I have to give to these people is that their food is delicious!" You spoke with a half full mouth to a random couple next to you, causing them to quickly scurry away in disgust. "Rude," Rolling your eyes, you continued on eating. "I'm not a princess, I don't need to be so damn proper..." Suddenly, your eyes widened at the sight of the chocolate fountain with a bunch of exotic fruits surrounding it. "Oh, stars..." Bolting over, your hands got a hold of a few fruits, drowning them in the puddle of chocolate and literally scarfing them down._

_You actually started feeling sorry for those around you, not because you were eating like a slob (mind you, you were in a white dress, you could have easily ruined it) but because you were hogging the food._

_"Oh man...I'm such a monster," Shaking your head, you picked at a single berry you hadn't seen in your life before, studying it before shrugging as you dipped it in the chocolate. It couldn't be so bad..._

_Taking a bite into it, you instantly nodded, it was pretty damn good. Grabbing onto another one, you decided not to be a human Rancor and actually be decent about your eating._

_Biting into the sweet fruit, you suddenly felt uneasy. Had you ate too much? It wasn't like you had a whole bunch of plates of food, you were just picking at the options. But you realized it wasn't your stomach, rather, it was your entire body, as if there had been a gravitational pull. Rolling your shoulders, you took another bite before seeing a hand come to view, holding a a blood red rose._

_Smiling to yourself, you nearly dropped the berry that was dangling in between your teeth and grip as you reached out for it. Turning to greet the person kind enough to give it to you, you felt your heart plummet--nearly missing your stomach and possibly pooling up at your feet._

_Swallowing the last bit of the fruit, you gave the young man a toothy smile as you felt your heart racing, pounding within the walls of your ears. "Th-thank you, Ben..." Watching him give you a small smile, one that was quite hard to even recognize as a smile, he simply walked away without a word._

Snapping back into consciousness, your eyes opened up to the sight of Ben's chest. For some reason, you had a funny feeling in your stomach. Your dream, it felt so surreal, the fact that it felt more like a forgotten memory than something out of the book confused you. Did you fantasize too much or was it something real you couldn't have possibly remembered?

What ever it was, it itched at your skin, it felt too familiar, too... _real_.

But was it?

Taking in a deep breath, you looked up to see Ben was still knocked out, looking over to see it had only been an hour since you fell asleep.

Resting up against his chest once again, you sighed. Why did it all feel so right with a guy who showed up out of the blue? After all these years of dating and trying to find someone decent for you, Ben popped out of nowhere and somehow hit every aspect you wanted in someone.

It made you curious and quite doubtful, in time you were going to find something wrong about him--maybe he was having an affair? Or maybe he's actually a big creep? But none of them felt true, he genuinely felt like the man he was.

So what gives? Why was a man as perfect as himself with you? Out of all people he could be dating, why a neonatal nurse who works her life away caring for babies and loving her dog?

Pushing all the negative thoughts away, you smiled at the simple fact that you had finally found a true nice guy who somehow slipped into your life so easily like a missing puzzle piece. It just felt so right and you couldn't seem to understand why.

. . .

_"And what if I do not?"_

_Soon to regret his question, you were instantly ripped from the spot you were standing in, now in Snokes hold as his lanky fingers wrapped around your throat. "She dies."_

_It was as if Kylo could feel your airways being blocked with the tightening of Snokes grip, the way your lungs had begged for air, gasping for any ounce of oxygen. "Let her go!" Kylo shouted, instantly sticking out his hand as he ripped Snokes grip off of you, watching you fall to your knees. "She has nothing to do with this!"_

_"You fool, she has everything to do with this!" Snoke seethed, kicking the air out of you as you fell to your side, his feet being pressed against your upper chest. Coughing at the pressure, Kylo rushed over, only to take a sudden stop as Snoke pressed harder. "She will die if you do not take my offer, Ren."_

_"Your power and guidance mean nothing to me anymore! I was weak minded, I let you in when I was most vulnerable! I was dumb to believe everything you said! My family loved me, with all their heart, I should have never allowed you to influence me in such way!" Kylo retorted._

_"Yet, you did...you broke your mothers heart, killed your father, sent your uncle into exile...and now? You will be the cause of her death." Snoke pointed to you as you tried removing his foot off of you, continuously coughing and gasping._

_"You will not kill her!" Kylo roared, a sudden wave of power rushing through him, giving the Force an extra boost as Snoke was instantly tossed off of you. Running to your side, Kylo held you in his arms as you gasped for air. Picking you up, Kylo was about to take off but was suddenly pulled off of his feet, you falling harshly on the ground as you grew dizzy._

_"You are still messy, Kylo Ren, your training should have been completed. Maybe that would have taught you not to leave your lightsaber behind!" Activating the cross-guard saber, your eyes widened. Snoke was at an advantage as Kylo only had the Force. "You've disappointed me, Ren...I thought you were better than that..." Shaking his head Snoke lunged towards Kylo._

_You weren't sure as to what it was, but something in you had kicked in, you forcing yourself up and rushing over to Kylo._

_He was frozen, for the first time ever Kylo had no idea what to do, but the moment a familiar backside came into view, Kylos heart instantly stopped. It had happened so slowly, Kylo was reaching out, but it was too late the moment the bright red stream of light had came into view and pierced through the skin--your skin._

_A sudden burst of pain was felt in your chest as well as Kylo's own. Your once heaving chest becoming slow rises and falls as your eyes trailed down to the incision, the bright red light disappearing as you felt yourself fall back, instantly into a pair of arms. "Y/N?! Y/N!" Kylo called out, holding onto you as you violently coughed out blood. "No, no this is not supposed to happen!" Clutching onto you, his now blood stained hands held onto your face. "No, Y/N, please...please, stay with me..."_

_Nearly choking on your own blood, you coughed out more as you tried smiling. "You-you can do it...you...you can defeat the darkness in you...I know you can...I-I-" Coughing out more, Kylo only blinked back tears._

_"Do not leave me like this, Y/N, do not go." He spoke through clenched teeth, cursing the death sentence. "Please, don't!"_

_"I...love you...always-always remember, okay?" Slightly nodding, Kylos bottom lip quivered. "For all...eternity."_

_Shutting his eyes, his grip grew tighter as he felt your life force fade away, body growing limp in his arms as his breath hitched._

_Why him?_

"Ben? Ben?!" Rocking his shoulders as you watched tears stream down his cheeks as he whimpered, you only frowned at the sight. "Ben, hey, Ben!"

"NO!" Forcing himself awake as he shot up, your heart nearly fluttered out of your chest as you were suddenly startled. "No...no..."

Gulping, you gently placed a hand on his back as your other went on his cheek. "Ben?"

Hearing the sound of your voice made his heart stop. He had just lost you, how were you there? "Y/N?"

"Ben, are you alright?" Furrowing his eyebrows, he only pressed himself against your chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around you, tears seeping through your shirt and soaking your skin.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." He muttered as you softly rubbed his back. You weren't sure as to what had happened.

"Ben, it's fine, you're fine..." Gently brushing your fingers through his hair, you could feel his body shake against your own.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." He continued on, causing you to frown even more.

"It's alright, Ben, you're fine...you're good." Feeling his back rise and fall with how deep his breaths were, you pressed a kiss on his head. "You're safe."

"I'm so sorry...I failed you..." Furrowing your eyebrows, your hand movements against his back and hair slowed, only to come to a stop after his statement. "I loved you so much, and I failed you."


	8. VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think I like you a little t o o much to..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY TO MY FELLOW AMERICANS!!
> 
> you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'

_I loved you so much._ "Ben?" Your shaky voice spoke up, unsure if you had heard him right. Did you hear him right? "Ben, are-"

Sitting up in his spot, he looked you in the eye with fear in his own. He looked scared, vulnerable and broken altogether, it only made you wonder as to what he had dreamt about. "I-" Cutting himself off, he quickly stood up from your bed, grabbing his keys and wallet and sticking them back in his pockets before rushing off.

"Ben?!" Watching him go, you jumped off of the bed and tried following after, only to see him dart out the front door as Astro barked, chasing after him. "Ben?! Ben, where are you going?!" Running up to the door frame of the main entrance, you watched as Astro barked at the now closed stairwell door.

Frowning, you only felt your heart shatter. What had made him turn so suddenly? Was it because he had admitted something he shouldn't have? Or maybe his nightmare was _that_ traumatizing? You were unsure but as you pondered, Ben nearly darted down the staircase with a rapidly beating heart in his aching chest, breathing growing staggered as he felt the world around him crumbling. Had this triggered a panic attack?

"Astro," Calling out to the dog, he rushed back in as you slid the door closed, walking to the window closest to you as you looked out to see not a single sight of Ben. Where had he gone?

Sitting at the bottom of the stairwell, Ben clutched tightly on to the railing as well as his chest, taking in deep and heavy breaths as his heartbeat echoed in his ears. "It isn't real. That was another life in another...universe." He tried convincing himself. As much as he had only learned about his old life the moment he had first read the book, it didn't seem to take long for it to click that he was somehow reincarnated along with everyone else--except for anyone in the First Order...or as far as he knew.

But the nightmare, it had happened once in another universe in another lifetime and he was well aware of it, but still, it _hurt_. It hurt him as if it were a fresh wound and he had been dealing with it all over again. He didn't want to be reminded, not when you were alive and safe. Not when he was just about to win your love once again (and hopefully, forever).

Shaking his head, he gulped as he forced his way out and back to his condo. He couldn't see you now, not after saying what he said, he almost felt... _embarrassed_.

Stepping away from the window as Astro had barked at it, you simply ignored him as you called Rey. "C'mon pick up-"

_"Y/N? Hey."_

"Hey, so have you heard from Ben?" You curiously asked.

_"Uh, no, but I was about to check his place one more time to see-"_

"You should do that!" You insisted.

_"Yeah...I am...why?"_

"Just wondering, I just got back up and wanted to know the updates on your cousin..." You nodded to yourself as you bit on your thumb.

_"I'll let you know if I find him."_

"Alright, take care!"

_"You too..."_

Hanging up on her, you tossed your phone on the couch along with yourself, grunting as you leaned your head back. How could this have possibly happened?

Rushing back into his home, Ben leaned a hand against his kitchen counter before tossing himself on the floor, rubbing his face as he took in deep breaths. Never had his memories inflicted such pain on him. Though it didn't make since, he had remembered the moment you died very well, but why did it trigger something in him now?

Hearing a ding as if someone were requesting to enter his level in the building, Ben had hoped it wasn't--yet was--you. "Ben? Are you home?" Hearing the voice through the speaker, he knew sure enough it wasn't you. "Ben...I've been looking for you all morning and so have your parents, this isn't cool!" Forcing himself up, he pressed the button to allow Rey up.

Walking back over to his kitchen, he grabbed a cup of water, chugging it down as he then leaned his hands against the counter, looking over to see Rey storm in. "He-"

"Do not 'hello' me, Ben Solo! I called your phone a good ten times, checked here twice and even _emailed_ you and yet nothing! Where were you?!" Tapping her foot as she crossed her arms, Ben only sighed.

"A small getaway...after I had left y/n to herself, came home to sleep, then decided to visit New Jersey for a bit." He simply shrugged as Rey arched an eyebrow.

"You're lying."

Raising his eyebrows, Ben walked past her as he went to place the cup in the sink before aiming to his room. "Okay, whatever."

"Okay whatever?! Ben, we were worried!" Rey exclaimed as she watched him with knitted eyebrows.

"I'm fine. Shouldn't you be more worried about y/n? After the night she had and all?" Ben swatted a hand as Rey followed.

"Of course I was but I saw her this morning and she was absolutely fine. You must've worked wonders..." She nearly muttered.

"Psht, if you only knew," He mumbled as Rey eyebrows furrowed even more.

"Huh?"

"Look, I'm here and I'm fine, is that all you need?" He asked, eyeing the folded now-cleaned scrubs of yours on his bed, forgetting he had them there.

"Why are you acting so off?" She asked as Ben instantly turned around to block the door way.

"I am? Probably from the drive back or the bad weather," Leaning a hand on the door frame, Rey only sighed.

"Alright, well, your parents were worried and so was I. Good to see you're fine. Now I have to hope y/n doesn't go to work. Knowing her, one day was enough to be home on her own." Rey turned on her heel, causing Ben to step out as he shut the door.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Shes easy to read, at least to me. She says she doesn't mind being alone with Astro, but it's obvious to me that she is lonely and wants someone there with her. And by someone, I don't mean family or friends," Rey stated as she had turned back around, sticking her hands into her jacket. "She's a sucker for love but will never admit it, probably why she reads that damn book so much."

"O-oh..."

"Yeah. Poor girl, she's been on so many dates and they've all turned out poorly...probably why she doesn't bother anymore." Looking away, Rey frowned. "Maybe that's why she got drunk at my party, because I'm happily engaged and shes-"

"Single."

Looking up, Rey nodded. "Yeah. But she's a big girl, she can handle it, I'm sure she'll find someone soon." Rey smirked as Ben slowly nodded. "But for now...she's probably gonna work herself to death and I can't let that happen."

Thinking back to the fact that you had invited him to join you for a visit to the hospital later in the day, Ben mentally slapped himself for forgetting. "I-I can help out?"

"With what?" Rey laughed.

"Uh...you know, entertaining her? Keeping her mind off of things...I know where she stands in this." He rubbed the back of his neck as Rey raised an eyebrow.

"You do, now do you? Funny...you've taken a break on dating, too?" Crossing her arms, Ben sighed.

Looking down, he let out an ironic snicker. "Yeah, I kind of relate to her in a sense."

"Fine...since I did enough running around today, you can go check the hospital and see if she's there, if she isn't, then we're good."

"Okay, yeah, fair enough...I'll let you know if anything happens," He nodded as Rey nodded back slowly.

"Thanks..." Turning around, she walked away. "But don't get too attached to her, I can see you're getting quite friendly."

Fighting a smile, Ben shook his head. "Just _friends_."

"Yeah... _just_ friends." Watching Rey leave, Ben instantly rushed into his room, eyeing your scrubs and taking in a deep breath. Never had he realized how lonely you, too, had been. Maybe it was a way of nature saying you two were meant to be together even in this lifetime.

Shoving your hands into the pockets of your jacket, you sighed as you walked over to the hospital, coming to a stop as a familiar building came into sight--Ben's condo. Shaking your head, you continued walking on. You knew it was too good to be true. After all the dates you had ever been on, you should've expected this one to fail, too, even if it was a last minute date.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" The security at front desk asked.

"Visiting, actually, one of my 'patients' is leaving and I'd like to say goodbye," You nodded.

"How kind of you, you can go on," He gestured as you smiled back.

As much as you were saddened by the fact that your two second almost relationship with Ben just crumbled, you couldn't help but be the least bit of happy to see Daisy before she departed. "Nurse y/n!" Mr.Lucas called out. "Just in time," He smiled as his stood in front of the window. "They're doing final tests, then we can take her," He nodded.

"Did you just get here?" You asked.

"Yes, my wife is in there actually..."

"Go, go in!" You chuckled, swatting your hands for him to move on. "Your baby is waiting for you," You smiled.

"Thank you," He bowed his head, jogging to the door and walking in.

Smiling at the sight of Daisys mother holding her as her father peeked his head over, you felt your eyes tear up at how beautiful it was. But then you frowned, you wanted a family, you wanted children of your own, and for once, you wanted someone you could call yours.

It was growing tiring--the waiting--the fact at the age of twenty five, you were single and working your life away because you couldn't stand the fact that you were alone (technically) in this world.

Wiping the few tears that slipped, you took in a deep breath as you looked down, not wanting anyone to see you crying. It was a shame you had gotten this way, all you ever wanted was to be loved and to be loved by the _right_ person.

Hearing heavy and fast footsteps from afar, you were about to ignore them just before you heard someone shout as they panted. "Y/N!"

Turning your head over, your eyebrows furrowed at the sight. "B-Ben?" You swallowed, only to see the man release a deep breath before running over to you. "Be-"

"I really like you and I'm not going to let anything screw this up," Before you could even respond, he was already kissing you. His hands holding onto your face as your own moved over to his wrists, latching on ever so tightly, not wanting to let go. You were a bit embarrassed that you were crying, but that didn't seem to bother Ben as he had gently stroked them away will kissing you with as much love as he could.

"Nurse y/n, would you-oh, oops..."

Gently pushing himself off of you as he looked deeply into your eyes, you did the same back to him as all you could hear was eachothers breathing and the third party awkwardly moving back.

"How beautiful," Looking over, you saw as the four of them--including the other nurse--smiling over at you as the nurse shed a tear, causing you to chuckle.

"Uh," Pointing over at Ben, you smiled to the group, "This is Ben..."

"Your boyfriend?" Mrs.Lucas asked with a wide grin, only for you to feel Ben's hand slide into your own as your fingers interlocked.

"Yes, her boyfriend," He smiled as your cheeks instantly burned up.

"How sweet! It's nice to meet you," Walking over, she stuck out her free hand while the other held onto the baby. "I'm Anne, he's Patrick and this is Daisy," She introduced as the two had shook hands.

"She's cute," Ben smiled as the baby yawned.

"Thank you, would nurse y/n like to hold her one more time?" Nodding your head eagerly, she laughed.

"Of course nurse y/n would," Sliding your hand from Ben's, you gently got a hold of the baby, smiling.

On Ben's end, he only felt his heart melt--this could've been the sight he would've seen for months if you had had the twins. It only made him hope he could get that far with you now that you two were a thing. (Were you?)

"I'm gonna miss her...she was delightful, I hope she's the same with you two," You smiled over to the pair.

"I promise to bring her around every once in a while," Mr.Lucas stated. "After all, you took great care of her and seem quite attached."

Half heartedly smiling over, you gently brushed your finger over her cheek with a grin before whispering to her. "You treat them well, alright? I know I'm great and all but they are your parents." Hearing the two chuckle, Ben smiled down at you as you went to hand Daisy back over. "You guys get home safe, alright?"

Nodding her head, Mrs.Lucas smiled. "Will do, thank you for everything, we appreciate it!" Waving goodbye the two walked off.

"I miss my job," You mumbled to Ben as you looked through the window, seeing all the babies.

"I'm sure you do, but Rey wants to make sure that you don't come here, especially since you're not supposed to be here." Ben stated as you frowned the slightest, only to furrow your eyebrows while looking back up at him.

"Wait, Rey?"

"Well, yeah, she came to see if I was home and then she said she wanted to make sure you weren't coming here and I offered to check since I knew you were anyways-"

"That's why you came?" You asked.

"Yeah, I mean, not entirely..." Tilting your head, Ben sighed. "I feel terrible for running out on you, I just had a really bad dream and I said things I shouldn't have and-"

"It's fine," You smiled up at him as you laid a hand on his arm. "I'm just...glad you're okay." Blinking, Ben's eyebrows scrunched up. "I mean, I'm also really glad you came...because I was afraid you were going to be like everyone else..." You trailed, biting your lower lip as you looked away, only making Ben shake his head.

"No-no, of course not! I wouldn't do that to you," Gently getting a hold of your chin, Ben gave you a sweet smile as you looked back up at him. "I think I like you a little too much to..."

"A little too much?" You questioned as your nose scrunched up.

"A tad bit too much, you know, for my own good." He nodded while placing a hand on his chest. "Especially since I've only known you for three days now and it feels as if it's been weeks... _months_..."

Gently holding onto his wrist and pushing it down from your chin, you tiptoed and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "Time doesn't really matter, it's what's in _here_ that does," You poked his chest where his heart was rapidly beating.

"Good, cause I didn't wanna scare you off being a bit too much, you know, the whole cliche running to you and kissing thing," He shrugged, causing you to chuckle. "Now that I think about it, that was very cliche...I'm ashamed of myself."

"Don't be," You smiled, "I appreciate it," Interlocking your arm with his own, the two of you walked down the hall and over to the elevators. "So...are you going to tell Rey I was here?"

Scrunching up his nose, he shook his head. "I think I'm gonna tell her I came and didn't find you, so I went back home and decided to enjoy some 'me' time...you know, enjoying the peace and quite of my _lonesome_ home, sitting there... _alone_...watching tv and hopelessly daydreaming about the love I deserve..." He looked over at you with a wink, causing you to roll your eyes as you nudged his arm.

Sighing, you looked away, "I suppose I should join in on the moping..."

Laughing, Ben pulled you closer as the two of you entered the elevator. "Seeing as we're both very lonely and deserve love, I think it's something we can bond over."

" _Definitely_."

. . .

"Alright, so I have Monopoly, Clue, and...Guess Who..." Ben stated as he called out from a closet he was looking in.

"Hmm..." Picking at the bag of chips he gave you, you swiveled around on the high chair. "Guess Who! I haven't played that in so long..."

"Guess Who it is," Pulling out the box, he shut the door and walked over to you, placing it on the island table as he took a seat diagonal to you. "I'm a pro at this game, so don't think you're going to win," He pointed a finger as you scoffed.

"Pro?" You arched an eyebrow. "Yeah, alright, we'll see about that..."

And so, of course, Ben's statement was true...but, it didn't help that you, too, were pretty damn good. Almost every other game he had lost and you had won, making it tied.

"Do not lie to me, Ben Solo! Does she have blonde hair?!" You slammed your palm on the table as you pointed your finger at him.

"I'm just saying, she could...but she-"

Standing up from your seat and walking over, Ben tried pushing you away but you shoved his hands down and peaked over with a gasp. "I knew it! Cheater!" Glaring at him, he shrugged.

"I said she could but she couldn't, I didn't really lie..." He laughed as you shoved his shoulder.

"You're _the_ worst." Crossing your arms, Ben only sighed, pinching your cheek as you swatted his hand.

"And you're such a baby..." He pouted as you rolled your eyes, about to turn around, Ben only pulled you back to him.

"And you're a sore loser," You stuck out your tongue as Ben rolled his eyes with a fake laugh, causing you to grin.

"You're lucky you're cute..." Leaning towards you, you winked before tip toeing.

"Like wise..." About to kiss him, you heard a buzzing, causing Ben to nearly fall back as you almost fell forward with him. "What was-"

"Ben, honey? It's mom and dad!" The speaker went off, causing you to grow wide eyed.

"They-they can't know I'm here!" Nervously looking at him, you rapidly picked up the game, Ben shoving you over to his bedroom as he took the game from your hold.

"You stay in here and what ever you do, do not open the door..." He stated, nearly pushing you in as he shut the door behind him.

Feeling your heart race, you stared at the door for a bit before turning around, eyes landing on the neatly folded scrubs at the edge of his bed. Smiling to yourself, you walked over and picked it up, getting a whiff of the smell of fresh clothes. If this is what your scrubs smelled like, you could only imagine him. It wasn't like you went around sniffing him, but now that you thought about it, he sort of had the freshly-cleaned clothes smell on him whenever he was close to you.

Sitting on his bed after neatly placing the scrubs back down, you couldn't help but gasp at how soft it was. Lying back, you only sighed at how comfortable the bed was. Maybe you could just nap for a good fifteen minutes...wasn't like he didn't do that to you this morning. Plus, his pillows smelled like heaven and it was hard not to feel like you were sleeping on the clouds.

A short nap couldn't hurt anyone, right?


	9. IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It isn't like you r e a l l y like her...do you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: slight profanity...?
> 
> *you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'!*

"We were going crazy! We called and called and called your phone, checked in with the front desk, called Rey like crazy--even Poe! Where were you?" Leia asked as she had her hand on her hips, Han simply sitting on the couch as Ben sighed, pushing his hair back.

"I told Rey, went to visit New Jersey, came back and decided to relax..." He shrugged, causing Han to roll his eyes as he leaned back. "What?! It's true!"

"He does go on random trips," Leia said over to Han. "But right after your cousins engagement party? I thought you were gonna come over for dinner last night..." Leia lightly frowned.

"I'm sorry mom...but I promise next week I will!" He nodded his head.

"Honey, next week is thanksgiving! I hope you would! Plus, your uncle is finally coming back from his trip so you better come!" She pointed a finger.

"Oh, I've got a great idea," Han sat up, "Why don't we invite Ben's crush!" Furrowing his eyebrows, Ben looked over to his father as Leia only smiled.

"You mean-" Seeing Han nod his head, Ben only looked at the two confused.

"W-what's going on? Who's my crush?" Ben asked as Leia only had a sly look on her face.

"Yes, we totally should invite y/n! Aw, it'll be perfect!" Growing wide eyed, Ben shook his head.

"Uh, no-no, no-"

"Aw, look, he's blushing!" Han pointed out.

"I'm sure y/n has her _own_ thanksgiving to go to with her family..." Ben insisted.

"Of course she does, but her brother has his own family and in laws to visit so it isn't like it's an all day affair! She comes to ours...and you can go to hers!"

"Mom, you're kidding," Ben awkwardly chuckled. "I'm-I'm not gonna-...we're not even together?!"

"Y/n's parents haven't seen you in forever, honey, just go-"

"They didn't even invite me?!" Throwing his hands all over the place, Leia shook her head.

"Why are you freaking out?" Han asked, standing up, "It isn't like you _really_ like her...do you?"

"I-"

"Oh, he does?" Han whispered over to Leia as she rolled her eyes.

"Of course he does! Hello, did you not see the way he was with her at Reys engagement party? Or the way he spoke about her after running over her-"

"I did not run-"

"It's so cute! Finally you like someone worthy enough! All those other ones were bleh," Leia shook her head as Han nodded in agreement. "So it's set! You both go to each others thanksgiving dinners! I'll speak to her parents about it," Walking off as she pulled out her phone, Ben reached out.

"Mom, that isn't-" Cutting himself off, he sighed.

"Come on, Ben," Placing a hand on his sons shoulders, Han smiled, "Maybe now you'll get your first _real_ girlfriend!"

Narrowing his eyes, Ben rolled them, "Thanks, dad..."

Patting his shoulder, Han walked off and followed Leia. "See you later!" He waved as Ben lazily waved back, rubbing his face before looking up to see the two enter the elevator.

"Jeez..." Remembering you were still there in the house, he instantly bolted to his room, pushing the door open and seeing you knocked out on his bed. "Okay, that's fair..." He smiled as you lied all curled up on top of the sheets, holding one of his pillows to your chest as your arm wrapped around it while the other was under the pillow supporting your head. "Did I take that long?" Looking around, he saw the scrubs at the corner of the bed, moving them on to his dresser as he sat down, pulling out his phone as he didn't want to bother you.

_"I can sense you have awakened..."_

_"I take it as the injuries weren't that severe?" Narrowing your eyebrows at the mechanical voice, you questioned its statement. Injuries? "Your lungs nearly collapsed, luckily, you were found just in time."_

_Looking around the room, your eyes suddenly landed on a man sitting at your bedside, opposite to where the IV had been placed. Feeling your body instantly shudder in fear as your eyes grew wide, you recognized the helmet--the man your parents had warned you about._

_"You know me, or, you have seem to have heard of me." His voice was so lifeless, so...dull. It irked you, it made your skin crawl at how dead it sounded, as if the person behind the mask--if there was one--had not a single bit of soul left in them. "I can see it in your eyes, you fear me...why?"_

_Giving him a confused, yet irritated, look, the man slightly tilted his head. Was he being serious? Did he not know who he was? The only man cladded in black with a tad bit of silver on him screamed who he was--Kylo Ren._

_"Is it because your parents have warned you about me? They are Resistance members, yes?" Your body went cold, your once shaking body going stiff. How had he known? Did he read your thoughts? You would have easily felt the shift in the Force--and the overbearing pressure--in your head if he had. "You're lucky my men never found them...the people they had found, you'll be lucky to hear they were of no use to me."_

_Eyes growing wide once again, you practically ripped off the oxygen mask away from your face as you let out a heavy breath. "What have you done to them?!" What you expected to sound stern came out as a scratchy, panicky, tone._

_"That is for me to know-"_

_"What...have you done..." This time, your voice came out much more stronger, not as shaky and broken as before._

_The masked instantly snapped back over to you as it had looked away. "If you must know, I k-"_

_"No!" You shouted before he could finish, swiftly removing the IV from your hand and hopping off of the bed. "N-no...no you did not kill them!" Your body was trembling once again, fear raging through your veins as you stood on the opposite side of the bed, watching him slowly stand up and realize how much taller he was than you--he was too tall, his height was too intimidating. "I-if you killed them...th-then why am I here?!" A cry escaped your mouth, your bottom lip quivering as you could sense the tears coming on._

_"Now, why would I do that?" Tilting his head, you gulped. "I needed someone to survive, of course..."_

_"Th-that doesn't mean anything, you-you could have chosen anyone, why a girl who was about to die in a fire?"_

_"Because..." Watching his gloved hands move, you nearly flinched, only to see them clutch onto the bottom of the helmet as he had pressed a bottom, allowing it to unlock and giving him access to remove it. "I am the one who saved you."_

_The sound was awfully familiar, his voice was no longer synthesized, rather...human. That voice. Your eyes felt as if they were about to pop out of your head after the many times of them growing wide, this one making a record at how open they had been. "Y-you..." Out of all people, no...not him. "No...not...not you!" Shaking your head as the threatening tears had finally slipped, you hadn't realized that he was now leaning forward._

_"You hear it too, don't you? My voice utters your thoughts as yours does the same for mine. I knew it was you, I could feel it."_

_"Th-this is impossible! My soulmate was not meant to be a murderer! Not meant to be the enemy! Not meant to be you!" You seethed, your fists balling up as your jaw clenched, as if he had been at fault. "I-I could never love a man like you! If you even are a man!" You spat, watching as his face had the same, dull expression throughout._

_Your chest was heaving, it was hurting you since your lungs were still in pain, but at this point, nothing hurt more than realizing your soulmate was Kylo Ren. "Never say never."_

_Blinking, you looked up at him with sheer confusion, you knew he could never love anyone in his position, so why even say such thing? "You're going to kill me, too..." Now, your voice was as soft as ever, coming out as a mere whisper as your features softened. You were going to die in the hands of your soulmate._

_"Now, why would I do such a thing?" Lifting your head up in bewilderment, you watched as his hand reached forward, not realizing he had removed his glove until bare skin came to contact with your cheek, causing you to wince. "You are my soulmate..." Feeling his thumb brush against the skin, you shut your eyes, hoping to reopen them and realize you were in a nightmare. But as soon as you did, he was still standing there in front of you, gazing at every little feature on your face. "I have learned that no matter how hard I try to push it away, the Force always has it's way of creeping back...so why not accept it and bend the rules in ways that I can benefit from it?"_

_"Benefit?!" You smacked his hand down, instantly feeling pitiful as you regretted hitting him._

_No, no you don't...you couldn't._

_"Having a soul mate is not a joke! It's something real, something you can never have because I can never love you!"_

_"That's what your head is saying, but your heart," Feeling his finger push against where your heart was now rapidly beating, he gave you a small smirk. "It says otherwise. It's beating for me, and only me. You are mine."_

Furrowing your eyebrows rather tightly, your eyes fluttered open to the sight of the pillow in your arms, then to Ben's back as he sat there. Smiling to yourself, you only frowned at the dream. Yet another one that felt so real yet so fictional. Why were you dreaming of such things all of a sudden?

Yawning, Ben only looked over and smiled. "Good evening, sleepyhead."

"Evening? How long was I out?" You questioned, sitting up.

"Well, my parents were here for a good hour...then I came to check on you and you were knocked out and it's been about an hour since...so probably two hours," He nodded as you sighed, rubbing your face.

"Your bed is so comfortable, I'm sorry..." Stretching your arms out, you smiled at how satisfied your nap was--beside the strange dream.

"It's fine," Ben shrugged as you moved the pillow back into its place. "Though I think yours is better, but that's my opinion-"

"What? No way, yours is definitely better! And the sheets are silk! Silk sheets, Ben! You don't see that everyday." Shifting over to sit next to him, you covered your mouth as you yawned again. "All these nights of five hour sleep is really catching up on me..."

"Maybe you need a day just to sleep," Ben chuckled as you nodded in agreement, only to hear him yawn. "Thanks, now I'm sleepy-"

"Psht, like its my fault." You shook your head, suddenly hearing your stomach growl. "Oh, right, food..."

"Did you eat at all today?" Ben asked with a slight worried expression.

"Well, I had cereal after you left...and then that bag of chips, so-"

"Y/n, that isn't much, come on, I'll take you to dinner," He nudged his head, about to stand up, only for you to hold his arm.

"How about take out?" You grinned, feeling too lazy for the whole process of going out to dinner.

"Pizza again?" He raised his eyebrows.

"No, like Chinese or something...maybe this time we can watch a movie and not fall asleep," You nodded as Ben shrugged.

"Fair enough."

. . .

"Okay, how about we watch Finding Nemo!" You clapped, looking at the stack of movies he had as Ben sat back and ate from his own carton of food. "I can't believe you own it..." Pulling it out, you walked over to him.

"Look, it was a great film, okay? Although I was like sixteen or seventeen when it came out..." Grabbing the movie, he went to put it on.

"Wow, and I was like twelve...oh god, while I was a preteen you were casually enjoying your last few years as a teen..." Grabbing your food, Ben only laughed.

"It's only a five year difference, no big deal," He swatted a hand, causing you to nod. "Not like we're ten years apart."

"Okay, I don't think my twenty year old self would be dating you, well...actually-" Looking over to you with a raised eyebrow, you awkwardly laughed. "Never mind..."

"You would actually date me if you were only twenty?" He asked as he walked back over to sit next to you.

"Okay, listen, that didn't stop you from being friendly a few days ago! _You_ thought I was twenty!" You stood your ground as you pointed to yourself.

"In my defense, you look very young and I-"

"No way, you can't excuse that. Plus, it's not like I'm a teenager! I'd be twenty, so what? There are couples that are like twenty years apart! Not saying I would go out with any thirty year old being my twenty year old self, but you're an exception..." You shrugged, turning your attention to your food rather than Ben as he smiled to himself.

"As weird as that sounds, I'm honored..." He chuckled, placing a hand on his chest.

Looking over, you pointed at to him. "Good, because I would not date any man that much older than me unless they're worth it-"

"I'm worth it?" He nearly gasped.

"Maybe..." You looked away.

"Wow, you must have the _biggest_ crush on me!" He teased, causing you to roll your eyes.

"Oh, hush, so do you!" You swatted as Ben leaned over to kiss your cheek. "See!"

"I can't help it, I'm head over heels-"

"Oh no, don't start with that, please..." You begged, shoving him away as Ben was about to start talking again, you covering his mouth as he only licked it. "Ew! Did you just lick my palm?!"

Shrugging, he sat back. "What, it isn't like we never shared saliva-"

"Ben!" Groaning, you wiped your palm against his pants. "Now I gotta burn my hand off..."

"Okay, wow!" Placing his food down on the table, he stood up. "I literally just bought you dinner, agreed on watching finding Nemo and even did the most cliche-est thing by running down a hall to kiss you...and this is what I get?" He pointed to himself as you rolled your eyes, placing your food down next to his.

"You are so dumb, you know that?" Sitting up on your knees, you grabbed his shirt by the collar. "You're _so_ lucky I like you a lot."

"You better because you still owe me from-" cutting him off, you pulled him into a kiss, nearly laughing against it as he tried talking on, "You still owe me from-" kissing him as you brought him back down to the couch, he kissed back until he started to speak up again. "You still owe me-"

"Oh for christ shake, shut up and kiss me!" Growing wide eyed at your statement, Ben's hands held onto your hips as you straddled him, your own moving up to his cheeks as you continued on with the kiss.

Feeling your shirt ride up as his hands lied on your bare skin, you felt chills running down your spine at the skin to skin contact. The only time his skin ever touched yours was your usual exposed body parts--not your hips. You couldn't help but slightly shiver at his touch, goosebumps overrunning your body as his thumbs drew small circles around your hip bones while your hands moved into his hair, lightly tugging.

If it wasn't for the surround sound of the movie, or the fact that you two needed to breathe, you would've continued on kissing for who knows how long. "You're quite the kisser," Ben stated as his hands moved into yours, you sitting back as you smiled at him.

"I'd say the same to you, but..." Arching an eyebrow at you, you only chuckled. "You're far better than I am."

"Is that so?" He asked, leaning in to leave a trail of kisses along your jaw, causing you giggle at the feeling of his hair tickling at your neck. "I mean...I think you kiss better..." Peppering kisses against your cheeks, you smiled.

"Nuh-uh, you do." Biting your inner lip as Ben's own made their way down your neck, you shut your eyes, now was _not_ the time to moan.

"Are you sure?" Kissing along your collar bone, your hands clutched tightly against his own as you fought against the moan building up in your throat. "I wouldn't know, just by saying it doesn't mean it's true..."

"Then...then how else?" Taking in a deep breath, Ben's hands slipped from your own, one holding on to the back of your head as the other lied on your thigh.

"I don't know..." Finding your sweet spot, you sucked in a breath. "I guess we'll know when the time comes." Feeling him nip and suck at the skin, your hands latched onto his shoulders, fingers digging in as you tried your damnedest not to make a sound. "Don't forget to breathe..."

Letting out the moan, Ben only smiled, kissing the now sensitive skin before looking back up at you. "You wanted me to moan, didn't you?" Nodding his head with a smug look, his hand moved from the back of your head, over to your cheek as his thumb brushed against your bottom lip. "I hate you..."

"I hate you, too," Pulling you back into the kiss, you only felt it become more and more needy the more his hands roamed around your back under your shirt as your hand clutched a fistful of his tee, the other on his hair.

It was such a mess, heavy panting being released, hairs being tugged, bodies slightly grinding against each other as Ben couldn't seem to stop moving from your neck, back to your lips. It was clear to him you were enjoying it.

The entire time you two got lost in your make out, the movie played in the background, the voices of the characters being tuned out as all you seemed to focus on was each others breathing.

It felt so right, the way his lips and tongue moved against your own, how his hands held ever so tightly on your body, not wanting to let go. The way you just couldn't seem to get enough, wanting more and more no matter how much your lungs craved for air. You were growing addicted to the taste of his lips and you knew for a fact he felt the same way about you.

Removing your jacket and tossing it on the ground, Bens hands tugged on the belt hoops of your jeans, pulling you closer as your hands only tugged on his shirt. Pulling at the hem, he helped you pull it over his head as he tossed it aside, your hands gliding down his now bare chest as his pulled you back into the kiss. If it wasn't for the fact that you couldn't see his torso, you probably would've done more than a simple eyes-growing-wide expression at how your fingers trailed along his abs; he was even _more_ fit than you had thought.

"God, you have an eight pack?" You mumbled against his lips as Ben nodded. "Fuck..."

About to pull your shirt over your head, the sound of the buzzing of the elevator caused you two to snap your head in its direction. _"Ben! Hey, it's me! Rey! Luke's back and I thought we'd stop by!"_

Looking at each other, your eyebrows knitted in worry as Ben's expressions reflected your own. Were you two just going to keep on getting interrupted?


	10. X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It was f a t e..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: slight profanity
> 
> *you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'*

Rather swiftly hopping off of Ben as you grabbed his shirt, you tossed it to him before cleaning up the food and shutting off the movie, then running off to his room. "Like last time!" He called out as he slid back on his shirt, grabbing your purse and hiding it as you nodded. "This time, don't fall asleep!" Ben pointed a finger, only for you to roll your eyes.

"I'll try not to...no promises!" Shutting the door, Ben sighed before darting over to the elevator, allowing Luke and Rey up to his place.

"Have I had nothing but visitors today..." Ben awkwardly chuckled as Rey patted his shoulder.

"Hello to you, too, Ben." She quickly smiled.

"I literally just saw you a few hours ago..." He stated, watching her sit down on the couch.

"And you never told me if y/n was at the hospital...I assumed not as you would've told me if she was." Forcing a smile, he mentally face palmed himself.

"Nope, she wasn't there..." Seeing Luke walk up, Ben smiled. "Hey, Luke."

"Good to see you, Ben!" Pulling his nephew into a hug, Ben slightly bent forward. "I wish you came on the trip! You would've loved it!"

"Yes, but then I would've missed Rey's engagement party..." Ben sighed as Luke walked over to Rey.

"And Ben wouldn't have met y/n!" She faked the excitement.

"Y/n? Ben doesn't know y/n?" Luke questioned as Rey nodded.

"Wait, you do?" Ben asked.

"Of course I do," Luke chuckled, "I am her best friends father..."

"Yeah, I know...apparently everyone knew y/n except for me." Pushing his hand through his hair, he stood in front of them. "Even P-"

" _Even_ Poe," Rey interrupted as Ben mouthed a what. "You're just, too busy being Ben to not have noticed she was in our lives for a _very_ long time," Rey snickered. "Sucks to be you, doesn't it."

"Well, I know her now, thank you very much." Ben placed his hands on his hips. "And I think we've become _best_ friends."

Narrowing her eyes, Rey stood up. "Uh, no...she's _my_ best friend, not yours-"

"I don't know...I took good care of her Friday night, I'm sure that gave me best friend points," Ben teased as Rey gasped.

"I beg your pardon?" Crossing her arms, Luke only rolled his eyes.

"There is enough of y/n to share, guys..." Luke swatted a hand, bringing Rey back down to her seat as Ben stuck out his tongue.

On your end, you tried not laughing, hearing the whole commotion. That is until you patted your body and realized your jacket was not on you, rather, still on the living room floor. Growing wide eyed, you quietly opened the bedroom door and slid out, waving at Ben as he was looking down at Rey and Luke.

Looking up, his eyes widened, gesturing for you to go back. Shaking your head, you pointed to the ground, then showed the motion of putting on a jacket before Ben had to look down at his cousin and uncle, laughing lightly as the two were looking down at Luke's phone at photos he had taken. "Yeah, nice. That's great!" Ben smiled over to the two as you rubbed your face.

Waving at him, you continued pointing down as he mouthed a what, only for him to look at the carpet and see your jacket sprawled there, instantly kicking it under the couch as he had prayed neither of the two had seen your jacket...although it stuck out pretty obviously with its contrast against the rug.

Smiling and giving him a thumbs up, he waved his hand, gesturing for you to go back into the room as he had an irritated look. Lifting your hands up in defense, you swiftly slid back, only to blow kiss at him before locking yourself up back in the room. Mindlessly pacing around as you had no clue what to do, your eyes suddenly landing on a black leather book sitting on his nightstand--how have you not noticed this before?

Arching an eyebrow, you walked over and gently picked it up, flicking through the pages as little pen marks caught your attention, notes written on the margins and along the lines.

_I remember. This happened. Slightly off but true. I regret this. I miss this. That happened? If I only knew about that! I'm sorry._

Furrowing your eyebrows at all the little notes, you flipped the book back to the first page and blinked. _**Soul Mate**_. "No way..." You whispered, your eyes shifting over to the little note just under the title. If only that were so. "Boy, does he get into this book more than I do," Chuckling, you placed the book back down on his nightstand, only to see another--small--book sticking out from under his mattress.

Carefully pulling it out, you gently flicked through the pages, masses of sketches of a couple that resembled so much from the book--the distinct lightsaber, the unique helmet, the terrifying main villain--it was as if Ben had owned the concept book for the novel. Turning to the page where a red ribbon acted like a bookmark, your heart nearly skipped a beat as your stomach turned.

It stuck out more than the others, it was as if he--or whoever had drawn the sketch--didn't even bother lifting up the pen as the hordes of lines presented an image of a couple kissing. It had looked much like you and much like him except with a scar across his face and it was terrifying.

Blinking, you quickly looked on, seeing more and more drawings that looked identical to you two. Quickly shutting it, you placed it back under Ben's mattress before taking a step back, eyes growing wide. Tripping over the carpet, you fell back, your heart racing as suddenly a wave of images fluttered through your thoughts. It felt like with every image you had seen, there was a real life event that matched it, a sort of memory that was stripped from your mind...it was as if it were present time, but you knew for a fact it wasn't real. How could it be if you had never met Ben before?

But the images liked to say--and make you feel--other wise.

Panting as your breath hitched at the sudden stop of remembrance, you crawled over to his bed, pulling the sketchbook back out, flipping through the pages rather harshly, your hand coming to a stop at the second to last image. Brushing your shaking fingers against it, you gasped the slightest as you felt a tear slip--when had you even started crying? "O-oh god..." Taking in a deep breath, you placed the book on the ground, rapidly grabbing the novel and flipping to one of the last chapters.

_"I...love you...always-always remember, okay?" Slightly nodding, Kylos bottom lip quivered. "For all...eternity."_

Gulping, the book slid from your hold, your chest rapidly rising and falling as your heart raced against it. "Kylo..." You breathed. Shaking your head, you shut your eyes. "No, no...none of that is real...it's-it's just a book." You tried assuring yourself, but something deep down inside of you tried making you believe it had been.

Grabbing the books and standing up, you placed them back in their spots before wiping the tears away with your sleeves, going to his bathroom and making your sure your makeup hadn't smudged nor did your eyes look puffy. Why was there this strange feeling that everything you had ever read in that book _was_ real? And why did it feel like it was fate that brought you and Ben together rather than coincidence?

Taking in slow, deep breaths, you clutched onto the bathroom sink as you gazed into the mirror. What had just happened?

Hearing the door of Ben's room open, your had turned in its direction. "Y/n?" Popping out from the bathroom, you instantly walked past him. "What's wrong?"

"I-I have Astro home all alone and he's probably starving," You lied.

"But didn't you leave him food?" Ben asked as he aimed in your direction.

"Yeah, but for a dog his size, he eats a lot, so I have to go home and check on him." Grabbing your purse from its place in the cabinet Ben had hid it in, you tried your best not to make eye contact.

"Is there something wrong?" He asked, his heart now sinking to the pit of his stomach as he could sense the sudden change of mood and tone you had. "Y/n-"

"I just...I need to go." Pressing the elevator button to take you to down, Ben walked over just as it dinged open.

"Y/n, you can tell me anything-"

"Ben, just leave it at that," You nearly snapped over your shoulder, walking into the elevator as Ben gulped. "I'll see you around." Pressing the elevator button to send you to the lobby, Ben stood in between the doors, blocking it from closing.

"Did-did I do something? Did I-"

"No, Ben, you didn't do anything. Look, I have to go," Fiddling with your purse as you tried pulling out your phone, Ben could see how uneasy and frustrated you had gotten, grabbing onto your hand gently as you slowly looked up at him with watery eyes.

"What's wrong?" He softly asked, concern taking over him.

"I-I don't know..." Taking in a deep breath, you slid your hand from his. "I just...I need to go." Nodding your head, Ben frowned the slightest as he took a step back, allowing the elevator doors to shut. "I'm sorry, but I-I need to-" Having the metal door cut you off, Ben only stood there, blinking as he felt his own eyes water up.

Had he done something wrong that he couldn't recall? Did you have a change of heart that suddenly you didn't like him anymore? All Ben knew was that he felt heart broken and now you were the one running out on him for an unknown reason.

Wiping away the tears that had slipped as you rushed out of the elevator and down the lobby, your shaky fingers clutched onto the sleeves of your jacket as you felt your body shake. Fear had taken over you for some unknown reason, a sense of paranoia eating you alive as you couldn't help but think back to the last images of your so-called memory.

The sight of an old man, face distorted in a macabre form haunted you, the way he jammed the burning weapon through your body--you could almost feel it tear through your flesh as if it were happening at the moment. Then there was the sight of falling in Ben's-- _Kylo's?_ \--arms, the way you felt your life slipping away from your grip, too quickly for you to grasp on to.

Breathing heavily, you felt yourself panicking, the world around you spinning as the people rushed by. Your stomach, your heart, it had hurt and it felt like both had been stabbed through. Your breathing was erratic and unsteady, your line of vision being blurred with that of your tears. Finding yourself lost amongst the crowd of people, you were instantly pulled out and into some place, settled into a chair as a women's face came into your view.

"Y/n...y/n!" Snapping out of it, your heart echoed in your ears. "Everything is fine, you are fine."

Gulping, your eyes fluttered. "Maz?" You questioned the old woman looking deep into your eyes.

"So you remember everything now..." She stated, studying you.

Knitting your eyebrows, you shook your head. "Remember? Remember what?"

"Your past, the life you had before this one-"

"That's nonsense! I don't believe in any of that-" Cutting yourself off, your brows furrowed more. "H-how did you-"

"The book, you are attached to it like a baby and it's bottle...metaphorically and literally. It calls to you, the story, that is because it was you." She stated, causing you to lean back the slightest.

"What-what do you mean?"

"The life you once had, it wasn't easy, you had a soulmate. And not just any soulmate. Your soulmate was the ultimate menace of the Galaxy, the vicious murderer who all feared. Yet, he was also the son of a pair war heroes...the nephew to a powerful man." Looking at her with a muddled expression, you shook your head.

"What are you-"

"Kylo Ren...does the name ring a bell?"

"Of-of course it does," You snickered.

"Not from your book, but from in here," Pointing towards your chest and poking where your heart was beating, you looked down, only to have your breath hitch. "So it does, doesn't it?"

"I-I don't..." Looking up at Maz, you shook your head. "I don't understand as to why...as to how..."

"You are remembering, just as _he_ had."

"He, who?"

"Ben, of course. You don't honestly think running into Ben Solo was a sheer coincidence, now do you?" Maz smiled as your eyebrows narrowed once again. "It was _fate_ , it was guiding you two back together for another chance."

"I don't know what you are talking about-"

"You do, you really do...but you do not choose to believe it, that is why you never remembered. Ben, on the other hand...he had you on his mind since forever. What he thought to be just a funny feeling in his heart and stomach at the late hours of the night was actually you...he didn't realize it until he looked for the meaning himself."

"This sounds like a load of garbage," Standing up, you aimed for the door of the deserted restaurant. "Ben and I just met like any other person who runs into someone else does, it was an _accident_...a-a mistake, and a friendship blossomed from there-"

"That is what you _want_ to believe-"

"B-believe? How can I believe if it's true?" Grabbing onto the door knob, you shook your head.

"You and Ben are meant to be, my dear y/n...the past, the present, and the future are guiding you to where you are meant to be!"

"Where I'm meant to be is home, feeding my dog, not here listening to some...some crazy talk!" Pulling the door open, you rushed off.

Walking back to his room, Ben looked around to see everything in tact, nothing out of place; so what could have possibly triggered you to leave? Coming to a stop at his nightstand, he picked up the book that was now on the right side rather left. "Oh no..." Looking over at his mattress, he instantly pulled out the sketchbook, flipping it open to see the book mark out of place. "No no no..."

Panicking, he tossed the books on his bed, rushing to his phone. "Fuck me!" Slamming it down, he tugged on his hair, realizing he had never gotten your number. What if you had seen the drawings and thought he was a creep for putting you in the shoes of the supposed main character of the book?

Now he was paranoid, a thousand and one things flowing through his mind--what if you thought he was a stalker and planed this whole thing? What if you were freaking out because the two of you almost went to _that_ level? What if you were absolutely terrified? Shaking his head at the so many what-ifs, he went back to his room and grabbed the sketchbook, then his keys, rushing into the elevator. He didn't care if the weather outside was dropping or soon-to-be raining, he didn't seem to care if he was going to be sick if it had, all he cared about was confronting you and telling you the truth.

Barging into your home, you took in deep breaths as your tears--and now runny makeup--stained your cheeks. Hearing the pats of Astro's feet made you fall to your knees as you hugged the dog, only to hear him whimpering at the sound of your cries. "Astro, I don't know what happened," You cried, "I'm-I'm-..." Gulping, you only shook your head as you held onto the dog, feeling him lie his head on your shoulder.

Hearing the low whimpers of Astro hum in your ears, it felt as if Astro was more upset than you had seemed. It was a rarity to hear the pup cry, so hearing him now only concerned you. "Astro?" Leaning back and looking at him, the dog walked off, over to your room.

Standing up, you tossed your purse onto the couch before following the dog, seeing as he guided you over to his little bed that sat in the corner of the room, you eyeing the familiar shirt that was now in it. "Astro, that-that isn't my shirt, that's-" Seeing him nudge his nose against the shirt, you frowned, "Ben's..." Had Astro somehow sensed something wrong was happening between you and Ben? Did he really like Ben that much?

Sighing, you moved to your closet, peeling your clothes off and slipping into the thin strapped top and matching pajama shorts before you went back to toss yourself on your bed, lying above the sheets as you stared out towards the window of your balcony. You liked Ben, actually, you felt almost as if you loved Ben, but suddenly something felt so off the moment your hands had touched that sketchbook--as if something _weren't_ right.

It wasn't Ben, or at least it didn't _feel_ like it, but from the rapid flash of images that felt like forgotten recollections, the man with the scar across his face looked like a more pale, lifeless version of Ben and it almost frightened you at how real and... _familiar_ the memories had felt.

Blinking away the few tears that resurfaced at the thought of the images, you let out a shaky breath, clutching onto your bedsheets. You didn't know what you were more scared about--the fact that Ben's sketchbook somehow triggered those thoughts...or the lingering thought that whatever the hell it was that you had seen, felt so damn real, almost as if you had lived through it.

Swallowing the anxiety that was now rising high in you, you shut your eyes and tried falling asleep to the light sounds of rain patting against your windows, maybe then your dreams could free you from your newfound fear.


	11. XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Prove to me just how much you l o v e me..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: soft smut, nothing too intense, but and FYI to those who aren't into that
> 
> *you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'*

Tossing and turning in bed, you clutched tightly against your sheets as your eyebrows knitted, beads of sweat trickling down your forehead as you felt yourself getting lost in your nightmare. _"And what if I do not?"_

_Soon to regret his question, you were instantly ripped from the spot you were standing in, now in Snokes hold as his lanky fingers wrapped around your neck. "She dies."_

_"Let her go!" Kylo shouted, instantly sticking out his hand as he ripped Snokes grip off of you, watching you fall to your knees. "She has nothing to do with this!"_

_"You fool, she has everything to do with this!" Snoke seethed, kicking the air out of you as you fell to your side, his foot being pressed against your upper chest. Coughing at the pressure, Kylo rushed over, only to take a sudden stop as Snoke pressed harder. "She will die if you do not take my offer, Ren."_

_"Your power and guidance mean nothing to me anymore! I was weak minded, I let you in when I was most vulnerable! I was dumb to believe everything you said! My family loved me, with all their hearts, I should have never allowed you to influence me in such way!" Kylo retorted._

_"Yet, you did...you broke your mothers heart, killed your father, sent your uncle into exile...and now? You will be the cause of her death." Snoke pointed to you as you tried removing his foot off of you, continuously coughing and gasping._

_"You will not kill her!" Kylo roared, a sudden wave of power rushing through him, giving the Force an extra boost as Snoke was instantly tossed off of you. Running to your side, Kylo held you in his arms as you gasped, taking in the necessary oxygen. Picking you up, Kylo was about to take off but was suddenly pulled off of his feet, you falling harshly on the ground as you grew dizzy._

_"You are still messy, Kylo Ren, your training should have been complete. Maybe that would have taught you not to leave your lightsaber behind!" Activating the cross-guard saber, your eyes widened. Snoke was at an advantage as Kylo only had the Force. "You've disappointed me, Ren...I thought you were better than that..." Shaking his head Snoke lunged towards Kylo._

_You weren't sure as to what it was, but something in you had kicked in, you forcing yourself up and rushing over to Kylo._

_He was frozen, for the first time ever Kylo had no idea what to do, but the moment a familiar backside came into view, Kylos heart instantly stopped. It had happened so slowly, Kylo was reaching out, but it was too late the moment the bright red stream of light had came into view and pierced through the skin--your skin._

_A sudden burst of pain was felt in your chest. Your once heaving chest becoming slow rises and falls as your eyes trailed down to the incision, the bright red light disappearing as you felt yourself fall back, instantly into a pair of arms. "Y/N?! Y/N!" Kylo called out, holding onto you as you violently coughed out blood. "No, no this is not supposed to happen!" Clutching onto you, his now blood stained hands held onto your face. "No, Y/N, please...please, stay with me..."_

_Nearly choking on your own blood, you coughed out more as you tried smiling. "You-you can do it...you...you can defeat the darkness in you...I know you can...I-I-" Coughing out more, Kylo only blinked back tears._

_"Do not leave me like this, Y/N, do not go." He spoke through clenched teeth, cursing the death sentence that was happening before his eyes. "Please, don't!"_

_"I...love you...always-always remember, okay?" Slightly nodding, Kylos bottom lip quivered. "For all...eternity."_

Gasping for air as you clutched onto your chest, you looked down, only to see not a single wound. Your face was stained with your tears as your room echoed with your cries, Astro now sitting at your bedside as he watched you. "I-I..." Taking in another deep breath as you slowly let go of the fistful of your shirt, you looked over at him. "I remember? I remember it...I was dead, I-I died. How-"

Hearing heavy knocking coming from your main door, it instantly slid open as you realized you hadn't locked it earlier, you looking over to see Ben frantically looking around, only to look directly at you. "Y/n, I'm so sorry," Jumping out of your bed, Ben watched you as he took slow steps, "I didn't mean for you to see that," Rushing over, he held tightly onto his sketchbook, "I can explain ev-"

Wrapping your hands around the back of his neck, you pulled him down into a kiss, trying no to cry against it as it felt as if it had been _centuries_ since you last kissed him. Ben's hands falling open as the book collided with the ground, only for them to hold onto your waist as he shut his eyes, kissing you back. It was so hungry and needy, you kissed him as much as your lungs allowed you to, you wanted to savor the taste, the feeling it gave you, and the moment. "I love you..." You whispered against his mouth as one of your hands lied on his cheek, finger softly gliding down. "For all _eternity_..."

Growing wide eyed, his hands moved up to your cheeks as he looked into your eyes. "You-you-" Choking on his own words, he blinked as he felt a few tears slip, "You remembered?" He smiled, causing you to smile as you nodded.

"Yes...yes, I remember," Pressing your forehead against his, you cried. "I remember it all...I'm so-I'm so sorry..."

"You risked your life...for me. You had everything, everyone, and you jumped in front of me...as if all of that didn't matter?" Ben gulped, feeling his body slightly tremble.

"When I said I loved you, I _meant_ it..." You breathed, looking back up at him. "I'd do anything for you, _anything_ , and when my instincts kicked in..I act-"

"But-but you died!" Ben let go of you, rubbing his face. "You died, y/n, and it tore me apart!"

"I-I-"

"You left me, you left me behind!" He paced, "You left me all alone with a broken heart, I loved you, so _fucking_ much and you _died_!"

"K-Kylo..."

Falling to his knees, he cried into his hands. "I was...I was so lonely, I had put myself into exile, I refused to stay with the Resistance...I knew I wasn't welcomed there...so I went gray..." He mumbled against his hands. "I loved you...so much, that when you died, I lost myself. I lost a piece of me, a piece of me had gone with you and I felt so-so _empty_!" Walking up to him, you gently lied a hand on his shoulder as your other on his head. "I never stopped loving you, I've been in love with you my whole life then...and my whole life now..." Clutching onto you, he cried against your shirt. "You died on me, y/n...you died with our children."

Freezing in your spot, your body grew stiff. "I-...w-what?"

"You were pregnant, we were going to have a family..." Holding tightly onto your shirt, Ben took in a deep breath. "But...but you passed away..."

Falling to your own knees, you pulled him to your chest, holding tightly as you took in shaky breaths. "I know that there aren't enough sorry's in this world to mend that wound you once had. But I'm here...I'm alive, I'm breathing...and so are you. Kylo... _Ben_ , I lost you once-"

"Yes, but I came back to life-"

"I still suffered, maybe not as much as you had, but I did...and I was so grateful, so happy that you came back to me. I was so appreciative of your existence that I had felt beyond miserable for treating you the way I had. What we had then, it was disastrous, but somehow, each and every time...we made it work...because that's how much we loved each-other. No matter if we were bonded, connected... _soulmates_...we loved each other more than anything, and that's all that mattered." Taking in a deep breath, you kissed the top of his head. "And we're here, alive, to make things right. Because we deserve this. You deserve me and I deserve you, and for once, we can live in peace loving one another...nothing can stop us now."

Looking up at you, Bens eyes looked longingly into your own. Wiping away his tears with your thumbs, Ben only pulled you back into the kiss as his arms wrapped tightly around you. "I'm not letting anything...screw it up this time."

Nodding your head, you pulled him back into the kiss, tugging at his shirt as Ben pulled it over his head and tossed it to a side. Dragging your hands along his bare chest, you nearly shivered at his touch as his own bare hands slid under your shirt, lying against your back as he pulled you even closer.

Grabbing on to the hem of your top, Ben tugged it upwards before you lifted your arms up, separating from the kiss for a moment so he could remove it before you instantly went back to kissing him. "I promise, I won't leave you, not like last time." He mumbled against your lips, unbuckling the belt from his jeans before picking you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he tugged you into your bedroom, Astro rushing out before Ben kicked the door closed.

Pressing you up against the wall, you shivered from the contact of your bare back hitting it, Ben leaving a trail of kisses along your jaw and down your neck, "I love you..." Kissing along your collar bone, he found yet another sweet spot of yours, moving away from the other hickey he had left earlier. "I love you..." Mumbling against your skin as he sucked and nipped at it, you moaned. "So...so fucking much..."

Grabbing fistfuls of his hair as your other hands fingers dug into the skin of his back. "I love you...too..." You smiled.

Gripping on to your thighs, he walked back before reaching your bed, sitting down as you straddled him, his large hands holding gently on to the edge of your jaw as yours lied against his chest. "You're so beautiful," Eyeing you and your now exposed chest, he grinned, "So, _very_ beautiful..."

Lightly chuckling, you were the one now leaving trails of kisses, moving along his shoulders, finding the sweet spot on his neck as you decided to be the one to leave the love marks now. Hearing Ben moan only made you grin against his skin, moving up to his ear and whispering, "Prove to me just how much you love me..."

"What about the whole best friends thing?" He smirked as you looked back over at him.

"I don't think best friends-" Catching your drift, he pulled you back into the kiss, biting on your lower lip before falling back. Kicking off his shoes, you went for his pants. Unbuttoning them, you helped him tug them off before his hands held onto your waist, you smiling down at him as your own wandered around his chest.

"You're right, that's why we're not best friends." Flipping you over, he swiftly grabbed onto the elastic band of your shorts, sliding them off of you as he made a trail of kisses from your forehead, down.

"I" He kissed the tip of your nose.

"Love" He kissed your lips.

"Every" He kissed your chin.

"Inch" He kissed your neck.

"Of" He kissed the valley between your breasts.

"Your" He kissed your stomach.

"Body" He kissed your hip bone.

Slowly moving his way back up to you, you smiled as he hovered above. "Do you really?" Nodding his head, you pulled him down. "Not as much as I love yours." Pushing him down, you got on top and began to gently grind your hips, your lower body rubbing against his as Ben clenched his eyes shut, you feeling him grow under you.

" _Clearly_...you do..." Grinning to yourself when he grunted midway through his sentence, you sped up the place slightly as you grabbed onto his hands, kissing his knuckles.

"Don't be so impatient..." Leaning down, you pressed a kiss at the edge of his jaw, "It's more fun if you wait." Biting gently against his earlobe, Ben's grip left your own before tightening around your hips, biting his lower lip as he tried moving his hips along with your own. "God..." Rolling your eyes back, you could only imagine how much more intense it was going to get since this had only been dry humping.

Grabbing his wrists and pinning them down, Ben frowned as he opened his eyes. "Don't make this harder for me."

"It's fun to tease, come on..." You winked, changing the pace as Ben only shut his eyes again, taking in heavy breaths as if he didn't want to moan every chance he got. You could feel his hips jerking against your own, only making your heart flutter with excitement. Why wouldn't you be? You two had only done this twice in the other lifetime.

Forcing his eyes open, he slid his wrists from your grip and sat up, tugging the quilt back. "And it's fun to get things done," Bringing you under the sheets as he had flipped you over to be the bottom, he nearly ripped off your underwear as he did the same to his, your eyes widening as your heart raced from the feeling of him sliding into you, Ben being the one to pin your arms down as you bit your bottom lip. " _Fuck_..." He breathed against your shoulder, thrusting at a slow pace, building it up gradually as a few moans left your parted lips.

"Oh...god..." Sliding your hands into his own, you grasped on tightly. "Be-B- _Kylo_..." You breathed as Ben's thrusts quickened the slightest. " _Kylo_..." Muttering his name, you forced your eyes open as they only fluttered, wanting to close. "God..." Squeezing his hands, his thrusts went faster, your legs tightening around his waist as you felt the heat pooling up inside you.

"I...love...you..." He spoke with each thrust as you moaned with each push. "So...fucking...much..." Slipping his hands from yours, he gripped onto your hips, thumbs lying on your hip bones as your fingers clawed against his back.

"K-Kylo..." You breathed, taking in deep, heavy breaths. "Kylo!" Biting his lower lip, his hold went from your hips, up to the headboard of your bed, clutching on tightly as your hands now held onto his back, feeling the muscles shift. "Fuck, fuck!" Sliding a leg down, one of Ben's hands went to grip on the back of your thigh of the leg still wrapped around him.

Trying to last, you closed your eyes tightly, gripping on to the sheets rather than his back. Dropping his hand from the head board, he gently caressed your cheek, pressing another kiss against your lips as happily cried out against them. "My angel..." He whispered, resting his arm down beside you as your hand wrapped around his bicep. "Oh, how I missed calling you that..."

Smiling, you looked up at him, softly caressing his cheek with your free hand. "I love you." Moving him back into the kiss, he smiled against it.

You had never felt so thankful: thankful for the new life you had, thankful to have found him again, and thankful for the fact that he was now in peace with himself. You were happy, so happy that you could cry, all you wanted for Kylo was to be free and for yourself to not feel lonely and somehow, you two finally got what you deserved.

Feeling himself reach his climax a bit before you had, Ben moaned against your bare chest, pressing a gentle kiss against the soft skin before falling to your side. Pulling you on to him, your legs intertwined with his own, fingers lightly brushing against the skin on his bare chest as you smiled, feeling your eyelids grow heavy. "Did that prove enough?"

"Hmm..." Looking up at him, you smirked. "Maybe..."

"Maybe?" He arched an eyebrow, brushing his fingers gently along your spine as his other moved to interlock with your own. "I think I did pretty damn well!"

Chuckling, you kissed his jaw. "You did, easily a 9.5 out of 10-"

"What?!" He gasped. "Don't tell me this is because I came before you!"

"Hmm..." Looking away, Ben only leaned his head back and grunted.

"It's not my fault you're just _that_ desirable..." He mumbled, causing you to lightly laugh as your fingers latched and unlatched his continuously.

"Fine, 9.8..." You gave him an amusing grin before Ben rolled his eyes.

"9.8? Why?" He whined.

"Well, you see, when I was trying to tease you...you didn't really last-"

"That isn't fair! You were dry humping me, how was I not supposed to get turned on by that?!" He whined again, causing you to laugh, propping yourself up to look at him, brushing away the strands of hairs that stuck to his forehead. "You're just so damn beautiful, you expect me to stay still?"

"No, of course not...but it's funny to see, seeing as the last time we had done this, it was so...slow and patient..." You stated, twirling some of his hair around your finger. "Now it was a bit fast and, impatient," You snickered.

Frowning the slightest, Ben sighed. "You didn't enjoy it..."

Gasping, you shook your head, "Of course I did! Hello, I can't stop smiling, you idiot..." You chuckled. "It was perfect, alright? Plus, we were in the heat of the moment early on, it was kinda impossible to not have sex with how things were going."

"Oh really?" Ben arched an eyebrow as you simply nodded. "So you wanted to have sex with me that bad? What, you were still excited from earlier?" He teased, causing you to roll your eyes. "Did you really want me to fu-"

"I'm regretting this already..." About to move off of him, Ben instantly pulled you back down.

"No-no, no..." Getting a hold of your chin, he kissed you, you shamelessly kissing back with a smile. "Now we sleep." He smiled as he now held you against his chest, pressing a kiss against your hair.

"Just like this?" You questioned.

"Y/n, we literally did this last time..."

"Yeah, but Al-" Cutting yourself off, you heard barking. "Okay, don't tell me Alastair got reincarnated into a _dog_."

"You know what, what happened to him? I understand as to why we don't see anyone from the First Order...but him?" Ben scrunched up his nose, you shrugging.

"Well then I guess Alastair in his dog form saw me naked before you," You shrugged as Ben went wide eyed, grip tightening.

"He what?!"

"He's a _dog_ , Kylo, I was showering and forgot to get a new towel and Astro was sitting in my room playing with his toy and saw me, no big deal-"

"Yeah, that is until Alastair somehow transforms back into a human!" He exclaimed.

"That's if he's even Astro! For all we know it's Phasma! After all, she's the one who helped us! And I'm starting to get that vibe that Astro _wanted_ us together..." You mumbled.

"So-so...so you're telling me Phasma saw you naked before me?" Ben asked as you rolled your eyes.

"Look, it's not like you've never seen me naked before..."

"But this is a new life! You don't have any wounds on you and your hair isn't short! Plus, the first time we had done it it was in the dark, remember? Not back at Alastairs, back when we had _actually_ done it for the _first_ time...in your room, when your parents and brother were home, and we had to be very, _extra_ quiet because your lock wasn't working either." Ben pointed out as you nodded.

"How could I forget..." Sitting up, you pointed a finger, "Even then you came before me!"

"You were my first time! What do you expect of me?!"

"To not do it before me?! Hello!" You swatted his chest. "And you _still_ do it."

"Fine, next time I won't!"

Lying back down against his chest, you smiled. "We'll see about that."

Finding yourself comfortable against him, your eyes fluttered to a close as the sleepiness had over come you. On the other hand, Ben was smiling to himself as he stared up at the ceiling, holding you close as he thanked whatever god had been watching over him.

This was all he ever wanted--you [and his father] back--free from the pain and darkness.

And so far, he was winning.


	12. XII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think it's time I do the teasing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: shower sex + profanity
> 
> *you can also find me on tumblr under the user 'kyloholic'*
> 
> BTW! Can't believe this fic has reached 1K hits, thank you all so much :')

"Y/n? Y/n!" Fluttering your eyes open, you groaned the slightest as your hair blocked your vision, the feeling of something wrapped around your waist made you remember last nights situation--you couldn't help but smile. "Y/n?!" Jumping at the sound of the familiar voice, you shoved Ben awake.

"Hey-hey! Ben, wake up!" You loudly whispered, pulling the sheet up to your chest. "Hey, doofus, your cousin is here!" Shooting his eyes open, his eyebrows furrowed.

"W-wh-how did she even get in?!" He asked, causing you to sigh. "Oh, right...I left the door open-"

"Ah, shit! You left it open?!" You nearly freaked.

"No-no, unlocked, I mean unlocked!" He corrected. "What do we do?"

"Uh, just-" Hearing Rey's footsteps come closer, you shoved Ben back down and covered him with the sheets.

"Yeah, great, hide me under-" Smacking his chest, he instantly shut his mouth.

"Y/n? Oh god," Pushing the door open, Rey only grinned. "You finally got laid?!" She exclaimed, causing you to knit your eyebrows. "I saw the pair of shirts on the floor, is he-" Pointing at the sheets, you forced a smile. "Oh, don't tell me I ruined the moment..."

"No-no, he's asleep..." You nodded.

"Oh my god, you finally did it after god knows how long!" She squealed, giving you thumbs up as you awkwardly chuckled. "How was it? No wait, don't tell me, he's right there and could wake up in any minute. Y/n, you had sex!"

"Yes, Rey...it's not a big deal-"

"It is for someone who's been single for forever! Oh man, we have to celebrate-"

"Rey-"

"This is a beautiful moment, I mean, you listened to me, you finally got di-" Cutting herself off as her eyes lingered onto the floor, her eyebrows knitted.

Gulping, you cleared your throat. "Rey-"

"No way..." Walking over to the clothes on the ground, Rey picked up one of the shoes. "No _fucking_ way..." Blinking, you felt your heart race. "Y/n, no..." Looking over at you, she dropped the shoe. "No-no...no, out of all people?"

"Rey...?" Walking over to the bed, you shouted out. "Rey! Rey, what are you-Rey!" Ripping the sheet off of Ben, she gasped.

"...Hello..." Ben awkwardly greeted, causing you to roll your eyes as Rey stood there in shock.

"You...you-you screwed my best friend?! You screwed my cousin?" Staring at Ben, then at you, her jaw hung loose. "Out of all guys, Ben was the one who fu-"

"Rey-"

"No! Out of all people, why Ben?!" She whined. "He's my cousin! He's like a brother, y/n! Why?!"

"Okay, you should really be happy she did it with me and not with-"

"You hush!" Rey pointed a finger at Ben. "Please tell me this is the first time...please!"

"Yes, but-"

"But?!"

"But we've kinda been seeing each other," Ben finished for you, causing you to snap a look at him.

"Ben?!"

"Oh my god..." Rubbing her forehead, Rey took in a deep breath. "My best friend, and my cousin, naked...in the same bed...oh no..."

"Rey, I need you to breathe-"

"You two! Had sex! You two! You two are-are together?!" She stated with wide eyes, causing you and Ben to exchanged confused looks. "You know what...I'm gonna-I'm gonna go home and-and act like I saw nothing..."

"Rey..." Ben called out.

"No-no...you see, I'm trying not to freak out at the moment-"

"Rey, come on, wouldn't you rather me do it with someone trustworthy than some guy?" You asked, Rey huffing.

"Yes, of course! But-"

"Isn't Ben the best choice?" You trailed.

"Yes, maybe! But-ugh! Okay...do you two at least _like_ each other?" Nodding in unison, Rey bit her lip. "Like... _a lot_?" Nodding again, she sighed. "A lot...a lot?"

"Yes, Rey, a lot a lot." Ben sat up beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"Fine...fine-fine. At least it's him and not some douchebag, though I'd-"

" _Rey_ ," You and Ben echoed.

"I'm sorry, okay, okay...I approve of you two being together, but please...don't have sex in my place! I don't need to worry about using my sink or letting someone else use the guest bedroom-"

Blushing, Ben noticed. "Rey!"

"What?! I'm taking precautions!" She exclaimed with her hands up in defense.

"You should go," Ben nodded.

"Right, right...okay...lucky Astro, he has no clue-"

"Rey!"

"Fine! Sheesh, Ben, this isn't even your pla-" Giving her a look, she shook her head. "Have you been sleeping here the last three days-"

"Four," You corrected.

"Five, technically-"

"Ben..."

"What? It's Monday so yeah, technically five-"

"You didn't sleep here Thursday night!" You corrected.

"Right..." Ben nodded.

Looking back and forth, Rey mumbled, "All along I thought he had gone missing, but nooo, he was just sleeping over my best friends in the same damn bed as her..." Turning around, you only called out to her.

"Wait! Please don't tell anyone...and by anyone I mean _anyone_..."

"Not my dad?" Shaking your head, she frowned. "Or Finn?"

"No."

"Or-"

"No, not Poe, _definitely_ not Poe. He'll be heartbroken." You stated, causing Ben to arch an eyebrow.

"Heartbroken?!"

"Yeah, Poe's liked y/n for a while and she never gave him the time of day. _He_ should've been the one you did it with! Oh, just imagine how he'd feel knowing you gave Ben--someone you've known for five days--the time of day... _especially_ in your bed-" Glaring at Rey as Ben's arms only crossed over his chest, you spoke through gritted teeth.

"Rey, you're pushing it..."

"So Poe likes you?" Lowering his voice, he whined, "Even in _this_ lifetime?! Jeez!"

"Actually, Poe loves-" Shooting a look at Rey, she cut herself off. "I'll go now."

"Thank you." Watching her leave, you turned to Ben. "Ben, come on..." Seeing him lie back down, you pouted. "Ben, clearly I like you! Hello, we just had sex last night!"

"So?" He muttered.

"S-So?! I don't just give up my body that easily? You mean something special if I do! Ben, I love...I love you and _only_ you...don't get jealous on me now," Grabbing onto his arm as you leaned down, Ben huffed. "Ben..."

"So...he loves you, huh?"

"Yes. Poe's _liked_ me for quite the time, Ben..." You chuckled. "Literally..."

"How much?"

"Uh...a lot I guess?" You shrugged.

"1 to 10?"

"I-I don't know? 10?" Turning to face you now, you sighed as Ben arched a brow. "Look, it doesn't matter, okay? I know he's your best friend and that must suck, but-" Cutting you off, Ben pushed you down with a kiss.

"Good thing he doesn't like you as much as I do." He stated, causing you to roll your eyes.

"God, you're so-" Kissing you again, you rolled your eyes again, only to close them as you wrapped your arms over his shoulders. "Jealous."

"On that scale, my love for you would be infinite," Ben mumbled against your lips.

" _Cute_ jealous..." You smiled, kissing him back. "But _jealous_."

"I'm sorry about Rey..." Ben frowned the slightest as he looked down at you, you only shrugging as you played with the ends of his hair. "She can be a bit..."

"Too much?" You scrunched up your nose as Ben nodded. "It's fine, I love her anyways...I get where she's coming from."

"I'm just glad she, nor anyone else, remembers anything...if so, I'd be dead-" Smacking his arm, he chuckled. "What? It's the truth...I mean-"

"Hush...you're not dead, I'm not dead. We're good." Pulling him back into the kiss, you pushed him down as you were now on top. "Plus, as far as I'm concerned, you didn't get killed by Rey in your past life."

"We made amends...sorta, no thanks to your death, _psht_." Ben rolled his eyes.

Scoffing, your mouth fell into an 'o' shape. "Okay, wow...I'm sure she would've even if I was alive!"

"I don't know, I mean, you _did_ die-"

"Alright, yeah, okay..." Nodding your head, you stood up, "I'm just gonna go shower away this filth that is Ben Solo in between my-"

"Y/n, come on!" Sitting up, he threw his hands up. "I didn't-"

"No-no, I feel so dirty, I mean...you're all over me, _yuck_." Walking over to your bathroom, Ben rolled his eyes before standing up, following you over. "I really should-"

Walking in with you and shutting the door behind him, you looked up at Ben with knitted eyebrows. "You honestly don't think you're going to shower...alone, do you?"

Snickering, you turned around. "Uh, yeah..." You shrugged, although you actually wanted to shower with him, but you knew that's what he wanted. "I'm just gonna wash you away from me, ya know..." Swatting a hand, Ben just smiled, tugging you by the same hand that was in the air and pulling you into the shower. "Hey!"

"Oh, don't act like you didn't want to," Turning on the water, it instantly sprinkled over the two of you, Ben nearly pinning you against the tile wall as his lips attacked your own.

"Okay...maybe-maybe I wanted this...to happen," You breathed in between kisses, both of your bodies becoming soaked, your hands pressing against his cheeks as his lied against the wall on either side of your head.

"Sucker," He smirked, biting your bottom lip before lifting you up and pressing you against the wall again, your hands moving to his back and digging into the skin as he began kissing your neck.

"Isn't it...a little too...early?" Shaking his head, you then nodded. "No, it isn't... _right_." Feeling his hands clasp onto your thighs ever so tightly, small moans left your lips as he began nipping at the sensitive skin. "You're gonna make me...wear turtle necks."

"Fine by me," He muttered against your wet skin, smiling. "Although I'd prefer people know that you're taken." Kissing the bruised skin, you shook your head.

"I rather not." Pressing his body even more against your own, you sucked your lips in as you could feel him rubbing against you. "Fuck-"

"Nuh-uh-uh," He whispered in your ear. "I think it's time _I_ do the teasing," Lightly grinding his hips, your breath hitched as your fingers dug into his shoulders.

"Jack-" Feeling him rock again, you gulped, "ass..." Releasing heavy breaths, Ben suddenly caught you by surprise as he slid himself in, your hands flinging up to his hair and back as you tugged fistfuls of the dark locks. "You're...still impatient." You breathed, head tilting back as he rolled his hips.

"Can't come just yet," He grinned against your neck, kissing it. "Don't want you taking all the glory." Removing a hand from under your thigh, he pressed even more against you, thrusts growing deeper as his free hand trailed along your chest, giving one of your breasts a squeeze.

"Just don't fucking slip," You slightly snickered, wet hair falling along your face as you moaned with pleasure.

Brushing your hair away from your face, Ben lied his free hand against the back of your neck, resting his forehead against your own. "I'll break the wall before I do that." Jerking his hips rather harshly, you felt a loud moan build up in your throat, Ben blocking it with a heavy kiss. "Your moans...aren't making it any better...." He spoke in between kisses.

"Afraid...you'll...break first?" You grinned.

"No, I'm afraid your neighbors...will hear your screams. They're a...beautiful sound, but only for...my ears." Sliding his tongue through your now parted lips, his glided along yours as your hands found themselves scratching up a mural along his back--he was definitely going to have a collage of red marks by the time you two were done.

Moaning with every shift and buck of Ben's hips against you, the man couldn't help but smile although he groaned, wanting to feel more and more of you as if he were digging for treasure. But he didn't want to hurt you, he didn't want his desires to overcome him, but damn did being in you make him feel so good. "Ben..." You breathed, trying to force your eyes open although it all felt incredible. "Ben, _fuck_..." Tugging his hair again, he bucked his hips, causing you to grunt.

"I'm trying to..." Thrusting even faster, you bit the side of your bottom lip.

"Ben!" You nearly screamed, feeling yourself climax. "F-" Cutting you off, Ben's lips crashed against your own with a messy kiss, moaning against it as you couldn't hold it in any longer.

Knowing you had peaked, Ben smirked within the kiss before releasing himself, lips brushing against your own as the two of you let out pants, Ben sliding out and slowly dropping your legs as you held tightly on to his arms. "Looks as if I deserve ten out of ten this time," He smiled, pressing a kiss against your forehead as your eyes rolled.

"Fair enough," You sighed, looking up at him as he moved the strands of water hair away from your face, smiling down at you. "But since you're being cocky about it, I think I should wash you off of me." Walking around him, Ben gasped.

"You should appreciate that I released myself in _and_ on you!" Shaking your head as you began washing your body, he only sighed. "Fine. Be that way." Shrugging as if you didn't care, Ben frowned.

"As an apology, you can wash my hair and make it as soft as yours," You smiled over your shoulder as Ben arched an eyebrow.

"Why? Your hair is already nice as it is." He questioned as you handed him the shampoo.

"Nice, not _great_...a clear difference, bud." You winked as he only nodded with a confused look.

Pouring some of the shampoo on his palms, you grinned as you felt the tips of his fingers run against your scalp, as if a professional had been washing your hair. If it wasn't for the fact that you were in the shower and standing, you probably would've ended up a sleep the moment his fingers came to contact with your head. "Don't fall asleep on me."

Smiling, you swatted a hand. "It feels good having someone else wash your hair," You nodded as Ben chuckled.

"You're lucky I don't mind." Ben smiled, actually enjoying the fact that he was washing your hair as you stood there, fighting the sleepiness that had suddenly overcome you. "You should wash mine then."

"Really? Like I could reach up there?" You crossed your arms as you felt Ben playing with your hair, getting a bit too distracted with the conditioner. "What are you doing?"

"See, the key to very soft hair is lots of conditioner-"

"I know that! I mean, what are you doing to my hair?"

"Uh...nothing-"

"Ben..." You strained.

"What, your hair is fun to play with at its length!" Grinning to himself as he got lost with whatever the hell artwork he was doing with your soapy hair. "I could literally make it into a mohawk or-"

" _Ben_."

"Sorry," Placing your hair down as he washed the suds out, you smiled as you felt your hair fall down against your back. "There, now what do I get in return?" Turning around, you smiled up at him.

"A big ol' kiss because I'm not going to tiptoe for a good few minutes washing your hair..." You pointed, pulling him down by the neck to kiss him. "Thank you."

"You're lucky I love you, too." He spoke against your lips before you separated. "If not, you would've washed your _own_ hair."

"Don't act like you didn't enjoy it," Dropping your arm, Ben stood back up straight with a small smile.

"Maybe..." Walking around you, he began to wash his body, you found yourself staring at his bare ass. "You could be discreet about staring, you know," He spoke over your shoulder as you grew wide eyed, instantly stepping out of the shower.

"Uh...gotta go!" Grabbing your towel and quickly drying your hair as much as you could, you wrapped it around your body before rushing out, hearing Ben snicker.

Drying your body, you slid on some underwear and clipped on a bra before lying out a towel for Ben on the sinks counter and then cleaning up the clothes tossed along the floor, putting yours in your hamper as you folded up Ben's and put it to a side, Astro walking over to you as he sat there, looking as if he had a smile.

"Why, hello there, buddy!" You smiled at him as he barked. "You seem a bit happy? Is it cause I had fun with Ben... _twice_?" Hearing him bark again, you only laughed. "Yeah, I'm totally sure that's why you're happy." Petting his head, you were about to put a shirt on, only to hear someone walking in.

"Y/n!"

Arching an eyebrow, you saw as Rey rushed in. "Rey?"

"Now is when you're getting dressed? Where's-" Cutting herself off as Ben had walked out of the bathroom with his towel hanging dangerously loose around his waist as yours was over your shoulder, Rey's jaw dropped. "Oh god, don't tell me you two went for _another_ go!"

" _Rey_..." You and Ben chimed.

"Sorry...I forgot to mention that my family has invited you to dinner with us for thanksgiving Thursday...kinda the real reason why I came earlier but I got distracted..." She stated, trying to avoid eye contact with Ben as he stood behind you. "It's so hard talking to you two when you're just in your undergarments and Ben is in a towel-"

"Rey, why didn't you just text me?" You asked as she rubbed her face.

"I forgot my phone at home and since I was still pretty near by I decided to come back...glad I did now and not a bit too early or I would've heard sounds I would never have forgotten."

Looking up at Ben as he simply rolled his eyes, you turned your attention back to Rey. "I'll definitely be going, thanks for asking," You smiled as Rey nodded.

"I'm sure Ben was supposed to ask you, but you two probably got caught having the night of your life that it slipped Ben's thoughts," She snickered as you arched an eyebrow.

"Ben?" Looking up at him, he blinked.

"Uh, well...you see..." Scratching the back of his neck, you only shook your head.

"That's fine, he was just too focused on getting me-"

"Okay! Stop there!" Rey lifted up her hands. "I get it, you two fucked, spare me the details..." Chuckling, you watched as Rey backed out. "And will you _please_ remove the shirts from the living room!" She called out.

"Right..." Walking out, you picked up yours and Ben's, along with the sketchbook that Rey somehow didn't notice, walking back and placing your shirt and the sketch book on the bed as you waved Ben's shirt.

"I think you should wear it," He winked, "It'll look _great_ on you."

"Hmm...I don't know, you've been wearing this shirt for a whole day-"

"You'd look _so_ good in it, even better than when you wore the NASA outfit," He stalked towards you.

"It's probably really dirty-"

"Like, you're gonna look _very_ hot I may just want to go for a third-"

Reaching out a hand and stopping him from coming any closer, you rolled your eyes with a laugh. "Oh, god, you're a dog." Tossing the shirt at him, you went to get the now cleaned NASA shirt of his, pulling it over and smiling at him. "Happy?"

Grabbing your waist and picking you up, your legs wrapped around him as his hands held onto your face before attacking you with kisses. "More than ever."


	13. XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What, you wanna move in?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'*

Sitting on the edge of your bed as you flipped through the sketchbook you were nearly drooling over at how low your jaw hung in amazement, you looked up for a moment to see Ben sliding on his NASA sweats that he had lend you, his bare ass being the first thing that came into your line of vision before you chuckled. "Are you just gonna...ya know, free ball it?" You asked, turning your attention back to the sketchbook.

"Well, you see...seeing as I have no underwear at your place--which we're totally going to have to fix--I sorta _have_ to." Ben nodded, walking over to you as he watched you eye his drawings in awe.

"What, you wanna move in?" You jokingly asked, not getting a response. "You do?" Looking up as Ben shyly looked out your bedroom window, he shrugged.

"I-uh-" Jumping up on the bed as you nearly tossed the sketchbook to a side, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pulled him into a hug.

"Aw, you do!" You nearly squealed as Ben's arms engulfed your frame. "You totally can, if you'd like," Smiling at him as you had leaned back, Ben nodded.

"You want me to live with you?" Ben questioned as you simply shrugged.

"Of course," You softly spoke, nodding your head the slightest, seeing a grin grow on Ben's face.

"Yeah...yeah, okay, I'll do it." He nodded, lightly chuckling. "I'll do it!"

"Yay!" Pulling him back into the hug after you kissed his cheek, Ben let out a soft sigh as he shut his eyes--how could he have been so lucky to have everything going right for once?

Hearing your stomach growl, Ben pushed back to look at you. "We should eat..."

Hearing his stomach growl, you laughed. "Yeah, we should." Plopping yourself back down on the bed, you grabbed the sketch book again. "Do you want me to cook?" You asked, searching for the page you left off on.

"You? Why would I make you cook?" He asked, taking a seat next to you as he played with the ends of your hair.

"Because you're a gue-" Cutting yourself off, you smiled. "Actually, you're the man of the house now, _you_ should cook."

Rolling his eyes, he fought a smile, "I shouldn't have said anything. Maybe then I would've had you cook-"

"But I'm too busy adoring your beautiful art skills!" You whined, presenting his sketch book, Ben simply taking it from your grip as you frowned.

"You really like it, don't you?" Nodding your head eagerly, Ben wrapped an arm around your waist as he pulled you closer, kissing the top of your head. "It's the only thing that kept me sane...you know, knowing about you and the past life we had, yet, living in this one and being without you-"

"But you have me now," You nearly whispered, looking up at him as you kissed his shoulder. "And we're here together...nothing can come between you and I!" You grinned, sitting up on the back of your legs as you interlocked your fingers with Ben's. "You have your life back...you have Leia and Luke, you have Poe...you have Finn--which is your friend now! You also have Rey and...and you have Han back," You nodded. "You have your life back, Ben...you have everything you've ever needed, in the palm of your hands..." Looking down at his hand that had been holding yours, Ben smiled the slightest. "And everything's fine, there's no Snoke, nor dark or light...no Force-"

"I do miss the Force..." Ben frowned, causing you to chuckle.

"Oh, boo-hoo, you can't get your lazy butt up to pick up the remote," You teased.

"I did miss you, too..." He sighed, "But you're back and I'm kinda regretting it-" Gasping, you slid your hand from his and shoved him, only to have Ben tackle you on the bed. "I'm kidding!"

"I am so offended right now..." You shoved your hand in his face, preventing him from kissing you. "I literally just asked you to move in, and here you are, offending me in my own home!"

" _Our_ home!" Ben corrected, licking your hand as you snatched it back in disgust, wiping it against his bare chest.

"Ben!" You swatted him as he laughed, trying to kiss you but you continuously turned your head away. "You're so gross!"

"That's not what you said last night or this morning!" He smirked, still trying to kiss you.

"I didn't say much but moan your name!" You retorted.

"Exactly! That says enough to me!" Pining your wrists to the sides of your head, he kissed your neck, ends of his hair tickling your skin and causing you to fight a laugh. "Oh how my name slipped off of your tongue so beautifully," He mumbled against your skin as he moved up to pepper your face with sweet kisses. "Ben! Kylo! Ben! Kylo!" He mocked, "It's like I'm two in one-"

"You kinda are..." You spoke through clenched teeth, trying your best not to laugh at how his hair was brushing against your skin like a feather.

"Oh, shh...I'm more of Ben than anything-"

"Yeah, when you're not in me-"

Lifting his face up, he held both of your wrists in one hand above your head as he pointed a finger. "Okay that's another story altogether."

Chuckling, you rolled your eyes. "I like my Kylo," You smirked, "He can be gentle when he wants...and he can be-"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" He swatted a hand, nearly sitting on you as he released your wrists from his restraint. "I thought you'd prefer sweet, innocent, Ben Solo than rough and angsty Kylo Ren, but if you like to deal with the dry version of me..." Lifting his hands up in defense, you shook your head as you reached out to grab his arms.

"No no, I like Ben, I _love_ Ben! Actually, I love both, but Ben is _far_ more better!" You nodded, struggling to grab his arms.

Giving you a cheeky grin, he bent down, lying his arms on either side of your head as your hands held onto the back of his neck and jaw. "Fine, you can have Kylo during foreplay." Grinning up at him, Ben rolled his eyes before kissing you, you kissing back with satisfaction.

. . .

"So tell me, how in the hell did you learn to draw like this? I never knew you could draw!" Popping little chocolate chips into your mouth as you eyed the sketchbook once again, Ben walked over to steal the bag from you as you were hogging it all.

"First of all," He pointed a finger as you pouted, " _These_ are for the pancakes. Second of all, I must've been born with it in this universe." Walking away with the chocolate chip bag, you sighed, returning your attention to the book.

"Lucky, I wasn't born any different...still became a neonatal nurse. Well, actually, I got a dog now," You looked over to Astro as he had been lying in the floor, playing with his toy bone. "Aw, poor Chewie is a dog now!"

Shrugging, Ben tended to the eggs that were cooking on the frying pan, "Eh, it isn't like he was that understandable. I mean, I do miss having someone taller than me, and I do miss the big fur ball..." He chuckled, "But luckily, in this lifetime, my middle name _isn't_ Chewbacca-"

"Your middle name was Chewbacca!" You nearly choked on your orange juice.

Shutting his eyes as he cursed under his breath, his shoulders slumped. "Yes...sadly..."

"Aw! How cute! What is it now?" You curiously asked as you perked up.

"Uh...okay, it was an old friend of my dads-"

"Okay, what is it?"

"Lando." He stated, moving the eggs pan to a side as he flipped the bacons.

"Ben Lando Solo...that sounds... _interesting_ ," You nodded, looking back down at the book. "I'm surprised they didn't go with Anakin or Luke, hell... _even_ Han."

"Apparently they gave me names of two men that _weren't_ related to us rather than two who _were_." Shutting the book and placing it to a side as you felt bad that Ben had been doing all the cooking, you went to his side to take care of the batter for the pancakes.

"Why not any other names?" You questioned, grabbing the necessary ingredients for the mix.

"Okay, don't laugh, but my mom was thinking of giving me the middle name Kyle-" Snapping a look at him, you went wide-eyed, "or Ron-"

"WHAT?!" Nearly dropping the egg carton, you laughed. "Kyle or Ron?! What-what is this?!"

"I said don't laugh!" He pointed the spatula at you.

"Kyle Ron Solo sounds so perfect! Yes!" You chuckled, grabbing the eggs and cracking them into the bowl. "Hi, yes, my name is Kyle Ron and my name in my past life was Kylo Ren." You mocked his voice as Ben narrowed his eyes. "Kyle Ron Solo, calling Kyle Ron Solo!" Placing the spatula down, he reached over for an egg, "The one, the only, Kyle R-" Feeling the egg yolk drop down your head as Ben had cracked it on you, you gasped. "Kyle!"

"It's Ben! Ben Lando Solo!" He pointed as you turned around, grabbing an egg and smashing it against his bare chest. "You did not just-I just showered!"

"So did I!" Pointing to your hair, Ben went to grab some of the flour for the mix, tossing it on your hair. "Jerk!" Grabbing two handfuls worth, you tossed it on his face.

"You think you're funny, huh?" Grabbing more flour, he shoved it down your shirt, causing you to growl.

"You're the one who started!" Picking up the syrup, you squirted it down his sweats.

"N-no! Y/n! Not there!" He shouted as you laughed cruelly. "Y/n!"

"Now it's all sweet!" Squeezing the bottle even more, Ben grabbed onto your wrist and pulled the bottle out, grabbing the whip cream and spraying it on your face. "Ugh!" Wiping it off, you smeared it on his stomach, this going on for a good fifteen more minutes until the two of you found yourselves back to cooking.

"You're gonna have to wash my hair again," You stated, flipping pancakes as Ben brought the rest of the food onto the now messy island table. "Do you know how long it's gonna take to wash this off?!"

"Do you know how long it's gonna take to wash the syrup off of my damn balls?!" He retorted.

"Touché, but you started it!" Looking over at him, Ben crossed his arms as he leaned his lower back against the counter. "All because you couldn't handle a joke," Sticking out your tongue, he narrowed his eyes.

"I will not be called Kyle Ron, it's a disgrace." He lifted his chin up as you rolled your eyes.

"Whatever you say, Kyle Ron," You snorted, causing Ben to grunt in annoyance. "Just so you know, you're cleaning up this mess." Turning off the stove and picking up the plate of pancakes, you smiled at him before taking a seat. Luckily, the sketchbook hadn't been disturbed as it was in a safe zone. For Astro, on the other hand, he found himself hiding behind the couch.

Rather swiftly scarfing up the breakfast, you and Ben had quickly picked up the mess before returning to the shower for a round two--this time not getting distracted as the two of you focused on removing the sweets and egg along with flour off of your bodies. "Sheesh, next time we're having a food fight in _your_ place." You stated, drying your hair with the extra towel as you walked back into your room. "What are you even going to wear now?" You asked as Ben shrugged, following you from behind.

"I supposed you don't have any boxers lying around?" He asked as you went into your underwear drawer and pulled out a thong from the bottom, dangling it and wiggling your eyebrows. "Yeah, no, I rather free ball again."

"I may or may not have boxers as I sometimes sleep in them...but they're probably small..." Pulling out a new pair of panties and a bra, you went to your closet to see if the boxers were there. "Aha!" Pulling them out, you tossed them to Ben.

"Okay, what is this?" He asked, "Why is Betty Boop all over it?"

"Look, they're male boxers, okay? So don't freak out," You snickered as Ben dropped the towel, tugging on the boxers that were a little too small on him. "I rarely wear them because they're pretty big, good to see they fit." You winked, knowing they didn't fit as well as it hugged his lower half a bit too tight.

"I seriously need to have my own crap here..." He crossed his arms as you changed into your stuff, slipping on some sweats and a v-neck.

"Then why don't we go get some of your stuff?" You suggested.

"Yeah, okay, how? I'm just gonna walk out there in these boxers?" He arched an eyebrow as you sighed.

"Just put your pants and shirt from yesterday and we'll be fine!" You swatted a hand as Ben groaned. "Come on! Maybe then we can go back to your place and destroy it like you did to mine." Grabbing his clothes and tossing them to him, he haphazardly pulled them on.

In all honesty, Ben (and yourself) had never been so excited to be moving or even living with someone else that wasn't family or a best friend.

. . .

"This is your closet?" You gawked. "It's the size of my room..." Eyeing each and every shelf and article of clothing, you nearly drooled. "That's so unfair..."

"If you move in with me, you can have the other half," He pointed, you looking over to see the gap of clothing missing.

"Fair enough. Why don't we move here instead?" You smiled, turning back to face him as he shook his head, grabbing a few things and stuffing them into his suitcase.

"Because, your place is homie and cozy and small and it's a perfect size for the two of us and Astro...I like the feeling of close proximity." Ben admitted, causing you to smile even more, walking over to him and wrapping your arms around his waist. "Plus, I wouldn't be too far from you."

"Aw, are you _that_ attached?" You teased, Ben nodding as you only scrunched up your nose at how cute it seemed. "How adorable," Letting go of him, you pulled Ben into a kiss. "Good, cause I'm sticking to you like a leech whether you like it or not. I'm making up for the time lost," Patting his arm as you walked out of his closet, Ben smiled.

"Fair enough."

Picking up the book, you sat on his bed and flipped through the pages, reading his little margin notes again. "I'm sorry you had to go through this alone...it must've been terrible..."

"Yeah...but I'm fine now, I have you." He nodded.

"When did you find out? Better yet, how?" You questioned, looking over at him for a moment.

"A while back...maybe a year ago. I was having these vivid dreams that were quite similar to the book but they weren't, it felt like memories of a past I couldn't seem to remember. They swarmed in every night until I started to remember all that had happened. It had hit me like a train, all at once. It kind of was a rush of anxiety because I felt the pain all over again--losing myself, losing dad...losing you. It felt like the wound had reopened. I just wish I knew you were in my life all along..."

Blinking, your eyebrows lightly furrowed as you looked back down at the book. "Maybe it wasn't time yet, maybe that's why you were so busy. Funny how you were always mentioned by Rey or Poe or Finn...but I never saw you, not even in photos. Which is strange because you're Poe's best friend...you've never seen a photo of me?" You questioned as Ben shook his head.

"Never."

"Weird...it's like we existed but not to one another. Maybe the run in was when it marked time for us to finally meet again."

"Without a doubt, ever since then, we had been running into each other left and right," Ben chuckled with a small smile. "I was glad, beyond glad, I was thankful to have ran into you. It made my life... _different_."

" _Clearly_..."

"I mean, I felt lonely before, as if something were missing even though I had everyone. But then you came along and all this happened and...and that void was filled and I-I had never felt so... _complete_." Ben admitted, causing you to smile.

"I could say the same. I always felt as if I deserved more, to not be lonely or alone with just Astro. To share my home with another human, to love them...and here you are. Aren't we lucky."

"It isn't much about luck as it is fate...the way of the world, the universe...its beautiful if you ask me." Closing up the suitcase, he picked it up and walked over to you, plucking the book out of your hand and shutting it. "I just want to know how it is that there was a book about us two..." Looking at the leather cover, he placed it on his dresser.

"Well, I guess we'll never know," You simply shrugged as you watched Ben went to grab a few things from his bathroom, shoving thin into one of the pockets of the luggage. "So about thanksgiving..."

"Right...Thursday." Walking back over to you, he placed the bag beside you. "How are we doing this? Only Rey knows about us and she wouldn't tell a soul...it isn't like we can surprise them and say we're together because they'd judge us-"

"I mean...yeah, five days is little but you're best friends with Poe and cousins with Rey--Leia and Han's son--it can't be that bad..." You leaned back on your hands as Ben pushed a hand through his hair.

"It can be if your parents aren't okay with it," He sighed.

"Yeah, but yours are!" You nodded with a wide grin.

"Y/n, that's my parents, not yours...what if-what if it's like last time?" His voice lowered as he stood in front of you, grabbing your hands and rubbing his thumbs across the skin on the back. "What if they don't want you with me?"

"Why wouldn't they? You're a successful man who helps run a company, you're intelligent, you haven't killed anyone--at least I hope not--you're the son to my moms best friend...what more can they ask for?" Getting on your knees, you slipped your hands from his and lied them on his cheeks. "I think you're a _perfect_ fit, and as long as you make me happy, that should make _them_ happy."

Smiling down at you, Ben's hands lied on your hips as you pulled him into a kiss. "So you want us to admit that we're dating...on thanksgiving?" He questioned as you had leaned back.

"Uh...maybe some other day?" You nervously laughed. "I mean...why don't they find out on their own?"

"Like, they catch us? Isn't that worse-"

"No, no!" You shook your head. "I mean, they start to assume it and then they approach us and-"

"We admit to it..." Nodding your head, Ben let out a small sigh. "What if they ask on thanksgiving?"

"Then we'll admit to it on thanksgiving," Pressing another small kiss against his lips, you pulled him into a hug, letting out a low breath. "They can't stop us now, no one can stop us from being together, not ever...and definitely not again."


	14. XIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "By the way...what the hell is an Armitage?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *you can also find me on tumblr under the username kyloholic*

As much as your loft wasn't the smallest thing in the world, at least not to you, for some reason--the idea of having Ben living with you now--made the loft seem like it was pretty small. Maybe it was the simple fact that having someone else live with you that _wasn't_ a dog (but a man the size of a giant) made it seem quite tiny. After all, it was only meant for the maximum of two people living in it, and as much as others would've complained about the small space, it made you happy.

Happy that you finally had someone to share it with, happy that it was someone who _wanted_ you and _only_ you, happy that it was the man you had forgotten once but remembered altogether. "I was thinking of going tree shopping...as much as I don't like having real trees, I think this year it'll be an exception," You spoke over to Ben as you had lied flat on your stomach on the ground next to Astro with a bowl of popcorn as you watched some Netflix on your tablet, Ben deciding to give real-life drawing a try as he drew you and Astro.

"Are you asking me to go with you?" Ben bit his tongue as he tried getting the sketch right, especially the curves on your body.

"Uh, yeah, seeing as you live with me now. Which is another thing...you're gonna have to do some hiding if there's unexpected visits..." Popping a popcorn in your mouth, Ben sighed. "I'm sorry, but seeing as we've technically only known each other for five days, we can't really be seen _living_ together."

"I know..." Taking in a deep breath, he then muttered, "I know."

"Just give it time, if anything, I'll stay at your place, too, so I can do some of the hiding," you joked, causing Ben to smile. "It's enough that your place is massive, there's plenty of room to hide in."

"Painfully so." Ben let out a breath as he added the last few details to the sketch.

Looking over to Astro as he looked over at you, you simply shrugged. "When will I meet Chewie?"

"I'm guessing at thanksgiving, seeing as he will be there." Ben stated as you nodded.

"Poor guy, turning into a dog...I never could understand him anyways..." Clicking on the next episode of the show you had been watching, Ben stood up.

"Done." Hovering the sketchbook in front of your line of vision, you gasped and clutched onto it.

"It's perfect! I told you you could do still life!" Turning around on your back as you sat up, Ben crouched down as Astro stood next to you. "Look, it's us, buddy!" You pointed as Astro barked. "Can I hang it?" Looking up at Ben, he tapped his chin.

"Well, you see, I don't give my art away for free..." Rolling your eyes, you sat on your knees and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, causing him to lose balance. "Fair enough."

"Yay!" Standing up, you handed the sketchbook back as Ben tore the page out, giving it to you. "I'll hang it on the fridge," You grinned, walking over to the kitchen and hanging it with a magnet.

"You make me feel like a little boy whose mom is proud of his artwork." Placing the now closed sketchbook down, he walked over to you.

"In a way, I am." You nodded up at him, "but, instead of something I can't comprehend, I can see what it is and instead of sloppy handwriting, you signed it." Tapping the small signature in the corner, you grinned. "It's much more different than your other drawings..."

"Line drawings flow through me far more easily when it came to mental pictures." He stated, sitting on the counter of the island table as you walked to him. "Though, I'll admit, it was pretty nice drawing you and Astro." Ben nodded as you smiled.

"You should have your own gallery and have me as your muse." You winked, standing in between his legs as you wrapped your arms around his waist and looked up at him. "You know, center of attention kinda thing."

"Sure..." He nodded with a thumbs up. "Do you know how long that would take? The mass amounts of portraits and still life I'd have to make on canvases?" Simply shrugging at his statement, Ben crossed his arms. "You can't be serious..." Trailing your eyes around the room as you whistled, Ben shook his head. "You're serious..." Pushing his hand through his hair, he sighed. "But how if you're too busy working?"

"I'll make time! Hello, I _purposely_ busied myself with work," You stated matter-of-factly. "Don't you think it would be cool to open up your own gallery? It could be small, a little line of artworks by Ben Solo himself!" You exclaimed in excitement. "And it doesn't have to be anything wild, in pencil or charcoal or black and white paint...anything you're comfortable with."

Looking down at you with a raised brow, he placed his hands on the counters edge. "You seem to be more invested in this idea than I am..."

"Come on! It'd be neat! Look, there's this really cool gallery that's being sold because the artist is moving to Paris and I always see the sign up and I'm sure has hell you can afford it!"

"How do you know all of this?" Ben asked with a questioning look.

Looking down, your hands now fiddled with the material of his shirt. "Well, you see, I kinda dated the guy..." You slightly winced as Ben's eyes narrowed. "I tried out an artist...wasn't so bad, but he was too cooped up in his work and was dying to move to Paris, and as fun as that sounds, I rather stay here..."

"Hmph." Ben hummed as you looked up.

"Look, it's such a beauty! It even has a loft above it to live in-"

"You went to his _place_?" Ben asked as his jaw clenched.

"Ben...that was in the past!" You threw your hands up in defense.

"You think I'd wanna live in my girlfriends exes gallery-loft?" Ben crossed his arms.

"Okay...okay, look, we went on _four_ dates. Nothing special." You pointed a finger as Ben rolled his eyes. "Come on, give the place a look and if you don't like it, you don't like it! Doesn't hurt to try..." You trailed, walking your fingers up his thigh as you focused on the material of his black sweats.

Sighing, he rubbed his face. "Fine, only because you're so persistent about this."

Smiling, you tiptoed and kissed his cheek. "Yay! After we go Christmas tree hunting, we go." Nodding his head, you took a step back as he hoped off the table.

"I don't even know why I'm agreeing, I never even said yes to becoming an artist-" Grabbing your purse and holding onto his hand, you pulled him over to the door and out of the loft. "Like, I'm a business man, I can't-"

"You can multi-task, you have the time and money to." You insisted.

"Do you really want me to become an artists _that_ bad?"

"No, I just want us to have a place where we can have crazy sex with body paint," You rolled your eyes before looking over at him, seeing his jaw hanging loose. "Oh, god, it's a joke!" You scrunched up your face. "Of course I want to see you become an artist! How awesome and _hot_ would that be?!" Tugging him over to the staircase, Ben let out a deep breath.

"The things I do for love."

. . .

"Aw, this ones nice!" You pointed over to a six foot tree, Ben standing next to it and patting the top as it was inches shorter than him. "You know, it isn't cool when you're taller than the tree," You placed your hands on your hips as Ben chuckled.

Grabbing your hand, he pulled you over to a rather large tree. "What about this one?" Looking up, you instantly shook your head.

"Ben, that's easily twelve feet! How do you expect me to decorate a tree that size! Plus, it wouldn't fit in my loft!" Looking over at him, he shrugged.

"I guess I can get it for my parents," He sighed, pulling you over to another tree as your jaw dropped.

"Are...are you telling me your parents house...is that massive?" You nearly whispered in amazement as Ben looked over his shoulder.

"Maybe..."

Growing wide eyed, you tried matching his pace as he had been dragging you along, only to look up at him. "Ben, this is insane! I'm gonna go to their house on Thursday and look like a complete fool gawking at everything!"

Swatting a hand, he shook his head. "It's no big deal, it's not all that amazing-"

"Coming from someone who lives on an entire floor! Damn, you're gonna go to my parents home and think it's small..." You looked away as the two of you came up to another tree, quite wide and of a decent size.

"I'm sure I won't," Walking up to the tree, it easily was almost the same size as Ben, if not, an inch taller. "I think this one is perfect." Grinning over to you, your eyebrows raised the slightest.

"I'm going to have to climb that tree to decorate it..." Gazing up at it, Ben placed an arm around your shoulder.

"I'm sure it's no problem climbing things that size-" Smacking his chest, he chuckled. "What?"

"Hush, you. Let's get this tree and go," You pointed, walking away from him.

As much as Ben loved the idea of having a tree his size for your loft, the two of you realized you came in your car--a terrible choice seeing as half of the tree would stick out from the back--so you two settled for a tree that was slightly taller than you. Although Ben hated the fact it was small, you didn't mind it. Your overused fake tree was five feet and that was enough for a person who lived alone with her dog. You found it comforting to have a tree similar in height like your old one.

"I can't believe we didn't get that big tree," Ben shook his head as you rolled your eyes, walking along side him.

"Oh, relax, you had people send it to your condo since you couldn't seem to let it go," You mocked as you flailed your hands around. "You big baby."

Glaring down at you, Ben removed his hand from yours and slid it into his sweats pockets. "Rude."

"Hey! Don't be mean, now we can decorate two trees and both be satisfied," You grinned up at him as you interlocked your arm with his own. "Double the fun, maybe then we can bake some cookies and destroy _your_ kitchen."

Shooting a look at you, he pointed a finger. "Don't even dare." Laughing, you came to a stop as you recognized the area.

"It should be here," Looking over, you saw the entrance of the gallery. "Aha! There it is," You pointed.

"Do we have to?" Pulling him by the arm, he sighed.

"Man, I haven't been here in a long time-" Looking down at you with an arched eyebrow, you only stopped yourself. "Sorry..." Shaking his head, he looked away and eyed the area.

"I'm gonna look around." Sliding his arm from your own, you frowned as he walked off.

As much as Ben didn't want to seem fazed at how nice the gallery actually looked, he couldn't help but look interested.

It was two floors, the first floor seeming quite simple. There were four walls, the wall next to the front door being the highest as the second floor had a balcony to overlook the entrance and part of the first floor. Off to the far right was a small staircase that lead to the balcony, a sort of art-deco style as the steps didn't connect to one another. Then there was a small wall in the middle that connected to the bottom of the second floor and some of the ceiling, slightly splitting the room in two. The only windows presented were that near the ceiling and on the door. On the wall parallel to the front door was an open metal sliding door that--what Ben assumed to lead to--the work area as there was a table to a side along with chairs and easels, tarp and a cabinet attached to a counter and a sink. Off to the furthest corner to the left was a spiral stair case while off to the right was a large window--almost the size of the wall--with a privacy film over it.

"Well, shit..." He muttered to himself, feeling the desire to buy the place. "Y/n's definitely going to laugh in my face now."

Letting out a sigh as you stood there, looking at the now bare walls, you heard the clacking of feet hitting against the metal steps of the staircase, causing you to look up. "Y/n? What-what are you doing...here?" Looking up at the red haired man, you nearly froze--how in the galaxy could you not remember who your ex was?!

"H-Hey, Armitage..." You awkwardly wiggled your fingers as you greeted him. "I heard you were selling place."

Nodding his head, he grinned, coming off the last step and walking up to you. "Yes, yes I am...moving off to-"

"Paris, yeah, I heard that...too." You nodded as the man gazed at you, looking everywhere but in your eyes. "That's awesome to hear, you've been wanting to do that for so long!" Feeling your heat pound rapidly against your chest, you couldn't believe you had _actually_ dated Hux and considered being more than just a couple with him if things had gone well. _Yuck_.

Nodding his head, his eyes trailed down, only to look back up at you. "Yes, _very_ long time. Finally, my time has come! Paris is a beautiful place, especially at night time. Sitting on a balcony and overlooking the Eiffel Tower as it lights up in all its glory...it's an inspirational sight, one must share it with someone else." Grabbing your hand, he gently kissed the back of it. "It's good to see you're doing well, I must add."

Nervously laughing, you forced a smile. "Yeah, yeah, perfectly fine."

"Oh, really?" He arched an eyebrow as you nodded. "You know, my offer still stands...leaving with me to Paris..." Rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand, you gulped. "You and I, in the city of love, it would be-"

"Absolutely heartbreaking," Hearing the heavenly voice of Ben's, you mentally thanked him as he kindly peeled your hand from Hux's and engulfed it with his own. "I mean, I wouldn't want my y/n to leave me here alone," He frowned as Hux blinked. "I love her too much to see her go," Kissing your cheek, you smiled the slightest as Hux's eyes had squinted for a moment.

"Y/n...who is this?" Hux asked, only for Ben to smile as he stuck out his hand. You knew for a fact you were going to get it after you two left the gallery.

"Ben, Ben Solo, also y/n's _boyfriend_...but that doesn't matter," He chuckled. "And you must be?"

Taking his hand and shaking it with such awkwardness, he cleared his throat before speaking up. "Armitage Hux...owner of this gallery." Nearly choking on a laugh at the sound of Hux's first name, Ben cleared his own throat.

Mentally face-palming at how weird this had been, Ben spoke up with such enthusiasm. " _Armitage_ , yes, well...seeing as I will be buying this place out-" Growing wide eye at his statement, Ben continued on "-I'll be the new owner of this gallery and loft upstairs, which-" Looking down at you, he smiled, "-we should go check out."

"Ye-yes, of course." You eagerly nodded.

"Great! We'll be back to discuss pricing," Ben winked before tugging you along with him rather harshly before speaking through gritted teeth. "C'mon, _honey_."

Walking through the doorway and towards the spiral staircase, you came to a stop. "I am so sorry, I totally forgot!"

"You forgot? You forgot the simple fact that you _dated_ Hux and decided not to tell me?!" Ben exclaimed. "I can't believe it! Out of all people! I saw the way he looked at you and held your hand, y/n, he clearly _still_ likes you. To think the bastard was the reason you died!" He snapped as your jaw shifted.

Snatching your hand from Ben's, you crossed your arms. "I'm sorry that it slipped my mind, Ben! Trust me, if I knew that he was Hux in the first place--if I had remembered then about everything--I wouldn't have dated the man, okay! The moment I saw him again, I felt so-so out of place...I couldn't believe for a second that I had actually wanted to be with him forever-"

" _Forever_?!" Ben nearly exploded. "I can't believe this! If you felt so out of place, then why did you let him hold your hand? Hmm?" He tapped his foot as you rolled your eyes.

"Ugh! I-I don't know? I was nervous, okay?! I didn't know what to do!" You threw your hands up. "How do you expect me to react when I just realized who exactly was my ex?!"

"The guy was _trying_ to persuade you into moving to Paris with him and you _didn't_ know what to do?!" Ben furrowed his eyebrows as you grunted. "For all I know you _want_ to move! Like you said earlier, it would be fun!"

"Ben, I'm sorry! What do you want me to say?! That I was happily letting him try to convince me? No, hello! I clearly do not like him and would _never_ want to live with him! Like you said, he was the reason why I died! Why are you so on edge about this?" Watching him rub his face, he took in a deep breath.

"Because I am afraid that something, some little factor out there, will be the end of the good between us. I feel as if we've been _too_ lucky, too lucky to have each other again. Something bad is going to happen, I know it, whether it's Hux taking your heart away from me rather than your soul or the fact that you just don't love me the same, I'm afraid something-"

"Ben!" You shouted. "Nothing, _nothing_ is going to come between us, don't you understand?! I love you more than anyone could ever love a person, you--Ben, not Armitage--own my heart! I love you and _only_ you! Don't you dare think for a second that I'd abandon you for some starving artists, who--in his past life--was a complete dick! It's you who I want, _Ben Lando Solo_ , I want you and only you...forever and always. For all eternity." You breathed, chest heaving as the tension between the two of you burned.

Standing there as he blinked, Ben gulped before feeling his facial features soften up. "I love you, okay? I only love you...you are my world, my universe, my _everything_ , Ben...and I never-ever want something to stop us from being together. It's enough we suffered in our past life, let's not suffer now..." Your voice softened as Ben's chest heaved.

He was afraid--he always was, even in his past life--he never thought he was good enough for you, never thought he deserved you. Deep down inside, he always felt as if he deserved everything that came in his way that stopped the two of you from being together. He even had his doubts that you had truly loved him, no matter how many times you had admit to it.

But something, something in him smacked him hard enough to realize that he _was_ good enough and that he _did_ deserve every ounce of your love. He just had to defeat the evil that lurked behind him that was jealousy and doubt.

Pulling you into a tight embrace, he rested his cheek on the top of your head as you did the same to his chest, hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry...I love you so much that I'm afraid I'd lose you again."

Smiling, you shut your eyes. "You won't, Ben. And never forget for a second that I love you, too." Kissing his chest, you looked up. "Let's go look at the first home we buy together." Grabbing his hand, you pulled him towards and up the spiral staircase as he felt a grin grow on his lips.

The stairs had lead to a small kitchen that connected to the living room, a door attached to the living room side that connected to the bedroom and bath. Then there was the opening in the middle of the wall parallel to where the staircase was that lead to the balcony, walls that had fit more paintings along with a sitting area for a small couch, and towards the end to the left was the staircase that lead to the first floor.

"This is much more cozier than my loft..." You stated, looking around. "It's so small and cute." Walking over to the windows that replaced walls near the spiral staircase, you looked out to see the surrounding buildings. "Though, the view is a little bleh compared to mine, it's still not so bad."

"Are you actually considering leaving your loft to live here?" Ben asked as you turned to look at him, a small shrug being given off as you weren't even sure.

"I mean...there's no point to be living in three different places. We could live here and I'll help pay rent and the other-"

"No-"

"Ben, I do work, I can pay-"

"No. As long as I'm living, you're not paying for anything...well, you're own stuff, but you're not paying rent or any bills." He pointed a finger as you sighed.

"As much as it's nice to have a rich boyfriend, it makes me feel the slightest of useless," Leaning against the back of the couch from the small living room, Ben stood in front of you and pinched your cheek.

"You can pay for the art supplies, since this is your idea," He winked before walking away, causing you playfully roll your eyes.

"So is that a yes to living here?!" You called out as he walked over to the spiral staircase, seeing that it also lead to the roof.

Smiling to himself as he walked up the steps and heard you following, Ben took in a deep breath. "Yes."

Pushing the door open and walking on to the roof with you, Ben wrapped an arm around your shoulder as he pulled you close to him. "Good," Eyeing the surrounding city, you smiled as you snaked your arms around his waist, "Cause I could get used to this."

Kissing the top of your head, Ben only furrowed his eyebrows. “By the way...what the hell is an _Armitage_?”


	15. XV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...but it's nice seeing you two f i n a l l y together!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'*

"We're buying it out." Ben stated as he stood in front of Hux, the ginger raising his eyebrows as you stood alongside Ben, holding his arm. "Today, actually." He nodded with a smirk as Ben's statement caught the man off guard.

"T-today? You...you want to buy the place... _now_?" Hux asked, causing Ben to nod as you simply stood there and watched. From the Hux you remembered, this one was quite decent--maybe not _so_ nice, but, he definitely wasn't a complete jerkoff. Though, he was too consumed in his work and was quiet demanding, he was quite the decent human being. "Like, this instant?"

"Was I not clear enough?" Ben chuckled as you simply gulped. "I have the money, actually-"

"Ben..." You spoke up. The man couldn't possibly carry over two hundred grand in his pocket. "You can't really have over two thousand dollars on you, now..."

Looking over at you, Hux looked the slightest of worried--did he have a sudden change of heart? Did he not want to sell the place anymore? "If you would give me a day to gather up the last of my belongs, then-"

"I'll bring the money tomorrow, I expect you to be out by then." Ben smiled before turning around, your grip sliding as you stood there. "Let's go, y/n, we have a tree to decorate." Hearing him call out to you, you nodded. Giving one last look at Hux as he quietly stared at you, then over to Ben, you sighed and walked off. For a moment you were sure Hux's stare turned into a glare at Ben the second you had turned away.

"Was that necessary? You know, being rude?" You asked as the two of you walked back to your loft. "I mean...he wasn't being mean-"

"We're talking about the same Hux, right?" Ben snickered. "You can't possibly be defending the man who technically took you away from me?"

"Of course I'm not, Ben...but-but I'm saying, he wasn't being harsh or anything, this Hux is...is _nicer_." You nodded, causing Ben to arch an eyebrow. "Okay, look, it's not like I'm defending the man because I have a sweet spot for him. I'm just saying, don't be so harsh on him..."

"No way, this version of _Armitage_ looks way too suspicious for my taste, for all I know he's plotting to steal you back." Shaking his head, Ben stuffed his hand into the pocket of his sweats as his other held onto your own. "Out of all people, I thought you'd be bitter."

"Well, there really isn't any reason to...I mean, I'm alive, I'm with you and I'm happy. Hux was just an _accident_ , I dated him not knowing who he was. Hux can't possibly do anything now, not even if he tried, I clearly lost all interest in the man." You stated.

"You better hope so," Ben muttered as you tried catching up with his   
strides. The one thing you hated about dating someone as tall as Ben was the fact that his legs were long and every one-step for him was easily three for you. "Because I seriously would be beyond pissed that in this lifetime, Hux took you away yet again, and I'm sure as hell I wouldn't handle it nicely."

Sighing the slightest, you quickly grabbed onto his arm as you finally matched his pace, looking up at him. "I promise you, nothing, no one--not even Hux--will tear us apart. The only one who really can are my parents, and even then, I'm a grown woman who can maker her own decisions. If they can't see that I love you with every fiber of my being...then it sucks to be them." Shrugging as you scoffed the slightest, Ben smiled.

"Good, because I really wanted someone to come home to."

. . .

Opening up the bunches of boxes filled with Christmas decorations, you sucked on the candy cane in your grip before pulling out a pair of Christmas hats--placing one on yourself before placing the other on Ben as he had sat on the couch, untangling Christmas lights. "You know, it doesn't make sense to be decorating the tree when we'll be moving to the art gallery soon..." You stated, sitting next to him on the couch.

"Well..." Untangling the last tangle, Ben looked over at you. "Seeing as we are unofficial to everyone else--let alone, acquaintances--we can't really be moving into a whole new place together just yet. You can help me buy new furniture for the place as I don't want Hux's stuff, then, when the time comes, we move some of your stuff there and the rest to my place. We just have to be patient." Standing up, Ben kissed your cheek and then proceed to wrapping the tree with lights.

Smiling to yourself, you watched as Astro walked over with elf ears on, causing you to chuckle the slightest as he sat in front of you. "I definitely can't wait for that."

Turning on Christmas music to get in the mood, you started dancing along to the beat as Astro barked and jumped along, you grabbing his front paws as he stood on his hind legs as you two danced. "Rockin' around, the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hop!" You sung along. "Mistletoe hung where you can see, every couple tries to stop," Bending down to kiss the pups head, Ben chuckled at the sight of you dancing with your dog in nothing but sleeping shorts and a so-called ugly Christmas sweater.

"Wow! Amazing! Beautiful dancing, I give you two, a ten out of ten," He clapped, causing you to laugh. Letting go of Astro, you rushed over to Ben's side and pulled him along to dance with you.

"You will get a sentimental feeling, when you hear voices singing let's be jolly! Deck the halls with boughs of holly," Singing along, Ben only shook his head as you twirled yourself under his arm, swaying his arms side to side as you gave him a childish grin.

Dancing along to the music as you and Ben went to decorate the tree, you two hadn't realized how fast time was moving by before you noticed it was already half past seven and all the two of you had were (as from the early breakfast) candy canes and some hot dogs on your walk back from visiting the gallery. "What do you want for dinner?" You asked Ben as you grabbed a few sparkly icicles to hang on the tree as Ben grabbed some bows.

"You know, since we're living together in three--well, two--places now, I think it's fair enough I try your cooking." He spoke up as you peaked over from behind the tree.

"My cooking? You make it seem like I cook often, with what time, Ben?" You placed a hand on your hip as he shrugged.

"I don't know, didn't you learn how to make something from your parents?" He asked, as you thought about it.

"Hmm, well, my mom did make this killer spaghetti and meatballs and was kind enough to pass down her ways on how to make it. So I could do that," You nodded. "Though, I'd have to go buy the stuff..."

"That's not a problem, you tell me what and I'll go get them," Ben waved a hand as if it were no big deal.

"I'll go with you, I don't mind." You smiled. "It'll make us seem more of a couple," You wiggled your eyebrows as Ben narrowed his own.

"Aren't we trying to avoid that until further notice?" He crossed his arms.

"Yeah, but, it isn't like we're gonna be making out in the aisles or anything." Smirking, you swatted Ben's arm as you walked to your bedroom. "As tempting as it may sound, we can't do that."

"Aw, why not?" Ben whined, closing up the decoration boxes as he pushed them to a side.

"Because, first off, we're not a pair of teenagers. Second off, do you really want someone we know to see it? I'm sure plenty of people know you, so I can only imagine how that would go." Changing into a pair of skinny jeans as you slid into your converse, you walked back out of your room and grabbed your purse. "Especially when I'm sure word would fly around rather quickly."

"And, what? No one will notice that the two of us are casually grocery shopping?" Ben raised an eyebrow. "What are you going to say to that?"

"As a gift for you taking care of me the other night, I offered to make dinner." You shrugged as you walked over to the loft door. "I'm a kind soul, it's very believable," Winking over at Ben, he only shook his head before walking up to you.

"Fair enough." Opening the door, the two of you walked out. "But don't get mad if I do kiss you in one of the aisles!" Gasping, Ben instantly darted off as you shut and locked the door before chasing after him.

"You do that and I'll so desert you! I'll say you're some crazy man trying to hit on me and you _forced_ me to kiss you!" You called out from the staircase.

"Forced?!" Ben exclaimed as his face contorted into an offended expression. "You know for a _fact_ you'd kiss me in a heartbeat every chance you got!" Pursing your lips as you stopped in your tracks, you pointed a finger.

"Good point...doesn't mean I can't lie!" Rushing down the steps, you finally caught up to him. "You dare kiss me in public, I won't make you dinner." Crossing your arms as Ben turned to face you, his eyebrows narrowed.

"Is that a threat?" His eyebrow cocked up as he stalked towards you. "I don't take threats too well..." Grinning, you nodded while Ben came to a stop as he towered over you. "Good thing we're not out in public just yet." Wrapping his large hand on the back of your neck, his lips pressed against your own as your hand swatted his chest, only for him to hold it with his freed hand.

"Ben..." You mumbled against the kiss, only to kiss him back. "I hate you."

Leaning back and letting go of you, Ben turned around with a mischievous grin. "I know."

. . .

"Do you want me to make dessert?" You asked Ben as he pushed the cart that was now filled with--not just the ingredients for the dinner--but probably two weeks worth of food, Ben insisting the new place would need it when you knew for a fact his black hole-type stomach was the one craving it all. "I can go cheesy and make cookies or a cake-"

"Or brownies," Ben looked over worth a nod. "I haven't had those in a while with the way I have to eat..." He frowned the slightest as you rolled your eyes.

"Well, lately you've been eating terribly so having brownies isn't gonna do much," You chuckled as Ben scoffed, you patting his rather hard stomach. "But don't worry, big guy, you're still solid as a rock." Winking up at him, he only shook his head with a laugh.

"I'm sure you enjoy that," He mumbled, thinking back to how amazed you had been a couple nights ago at the sight of his eight pack--he still couldn't get over how dumbstruck you were about it.

Walking down another aisle as you picked up a pair of brownie mixes, you read the two, "Double dark chocolate or classic?" You asked, Ben eyeing the rest of the shelves to see all the goods--he hated that he had to eat healthy most of the time to keep his figure.

"Both-"

" _Ben_ ," You looked over your shoulder as he sighed.

"Fine...all of them." Turning to him, he was about to reach over and literally drop all the boxes of brownie mix into the cart just before you smacked his hand and pointed a finger.

"No." You narrowed your eyes. "For that, we're going classic." Seeing him gasp, you placed the other box back. "Cry baby."

"Wow! And to think I'm paying for all of this!" Ben exclaimed as you crossed your arms.

" _I'm_ cooking!" You pointed to yourself.

"Ben?" Hearing a third party, you and Ben grew wide eyed. "Y/N?" Peeking over from around Ben, your breath hitched. "What-what are you two doing here?"

"He-hey...Jess," You awkwardly waved to the young woman, one of Poes good friends. "I'm just here helping Ben out 'cause...ya know," You shrugged as the brunette arched an eyebrow.

"Because I'm a terrible shopper and needed her help, seeing as my cousin was too busy planning her wedding and what not," Ben continued for you as he turned around. "I see you're restocking as well."

Waving the basket in her grip, she nodded. "Yeah, I was getting some stuff for the gang as we're gonna have our own little thanksgiving party...but it's nice seeing you two finally together!"

" _Together_?!" You and Ben chimed as Jess took a small step back with a muddled expression.

"Yeah, since you two didn't know each other before?" Awkwardly laughing, you and Ben nodded in unison. "I'm sure Rey and Poe are happy to know you two have become friends." She smiled as you nervously smiled back.

"Yeah, yeah! Rey's very happy that her best friend is friends with her cousin..." You stated. "Very happy that we wouldn't have to bring this up to anyone else!"

"Poe specifically, haha!" Ben added as you two looked at each other and forced a smile.

"Uh...okay?" Jess nodded. "You two have...fun, I'll see you around." With a wave, she walked off.

"Definitely not suspicious." Ben said as he watched her go.

"Totally not..." Letting out a sigh and turning around in sync, you and Ben carried on.

Walking through the last few aisles as Ben added some more...junk (if you must) into the cart, the two of you were now in the barren frozen food aisle. "I don't think we need anything from here..." You stated, tapping your chin as you eyed the ice cream section. "I mean, we could get ice cream for the brownies...but I think we have enough food with all the spaghetti and meatballs and bread and brownies-"

"You're so cute." Furrowing your eyebrows, you turned your head over to Ben.

"Uh, thank you?" You chuckled.

"I mean, look at you, you were so excited to go grocery shopping-- _grocery shopping_ , y/n--most people hate that. Yet, here you are, walking down each and every aisle with me and blabbering on about how I shouldn't be eating this or I should be careful with that--damn you're such a wife." He shook his head with a smile as your eyebrow raised.

"I don't know if I should be insulted or flattered..." Crossing your arms as you turned your whole body to face him, Ben leaned over the cart to kiss you.

"Flattered." Feeling his lips move against your own, you prevented yourself from making it more than it was as you simply pushed him back.

"Ben...we're in _public_..." You lightly spoke as he shrugged.

"Ah, no one goes down here," Pushing the cart again, you sighed the slightest, deciding to get some vanilla ice cream. Maybe Ben was right, maybe you were such a 'wife'. You couldn't help but smile at the idea, being his wife--after all, it would only be fair if you to were married already for the lifetime you've known each other.

But the modern morality of only knowing each other--or at least what everyone thinks--for five days wasn't enough to be married, or even engaged. But that didn't stop you from the desire of truly being his, legally documented.

"I can't believe we spent over two hundred dollars...I expected to spend no more than like thirty..." You shook your head as you loaded your car with the groceries. "I mean...two hundred? It's like we're a family of four!"

"In my defense, I easily count as three people." Ben stated as he helped pile up the bags. "So, yes, a family of four," He smiled over to you as you rolled your eyes.

"No, it's only two of us--a human and a mammoth--we don't have kids-"

"We could change that," Ben simply shrugged as your eyebrows raised the slightest.

"It isn't like I can magically get pregnant to twins again, especially when we're not even official to anyone but Rey." You scoffed.

"But you're considering it-"

"Ben, we can't have kids, at least not now."

"So you _are_ considering it-"

"Maybe. Maybe! But we can't just get me pregnant when we're not even engaged or married." Crossing your arms as Ben moved the cart over to the curb, you watched him walk back as he had shut the trunk door.

"We could also change that," He winked before making his way to the drivers seat.

" _Ben_..."

"I'm kidding, I know it's wrong when everyone thinks we've only know each other for five days...but what if we did it in secret?" Getting into the passengers seat as you shut the door and locked on your seat belt, you looked at him.

"In secret? Ben, what if I accidentally walk around with my engagement ring on? Then what?"

"Who said you'd be wearing it on your finger?" He snickered as he started the car, your eyebrows knitting.

"Where _exactly_ then, Ben?"

"On a chain around your neck, you can hide it under your shirts, and if someone sees it just say you found it and couldn't just sell it until you've found the owner," He shrugged as he backed out the car and drove off.

"You seem as if you've thought of this before..." Narrowing your eyebrows, Ben looked at you for a moment before looking ahead again.

"What? No...it's not like I never thought of marrying you or having kids when we first met, haha!" Smiling at him, you shoved his arm.

"You're such a dork, if I never knew about our past I definitely would've thought you were a creep." You chuckled.

"It isn't enough that you _already_ thought I was the first day." He reminded you.

"Okay, whatever, I took your kindness as creepiness-"

"I knew it!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Although those times you kept saying I owed you kinda made it seem like you wanted sex-"

"I did not!" He snapped a look at you for a moment.

"Don't lie to me, don't act like the idea never crossed your mind, _Solo_." You smirked as you crossed your arms.

"N-no!" He shook his head but you knew he was guilty. "Okay...maybe once--just _once_ , alright? But I didn't intend on doing it or asking for it because I knew you didn't remember. I'm a decent guy, alright!"

"Well, you got your payback...twice, and even in the shower. So you should be pleased." Smiling as you leaned back in the chair, Ben looked over at you for a moment as he smiled.

"I am, that I won't lie about." His grin grew into a smirk as one of his hands stayed on the steering wheel as the other moved to hold your left hand.

"Good," Looking over at him, your right hands index finger trailed down his arm teasingly, "Cause I'm sure I still owe you more."


	16. XVI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...I did hear rumors he was seen with some w o m a n-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'*

Never in a million years did you think you'd actually be cooking a meal for more than...well, just yourself. It was a rarity when you had the chance to make a real home cooked meal with the hours you worked--mainly living off of take out or microwaveable options--and, in all honesty, you absolutely hated it. Probably why you tried visiting your parents as often as you could to get real food inside of you that was fresh rather than processed. "Alright, tell me how you think the sauce tastes..." Lifting up the ladle, Ben stood up from messing around with Astro, walking over to you.

"You want me to try it from the spoon?" He arched an eyebrow as you rolled your eyes.

"Ben, it's only you and I who will be eating this...do you think I care about your cooties?" You chuckled as Ben shrugged, bending forward enough for you to bring to ladle up to his mouth.

"Apparently not if you've had sex with me," Smacking his chest with your free hand, you instantly moved it to hover under the massive spoon, making sure the sauce didn't drip onto the floor as Ben tried it. "Mm...yeah, yeah I like it!" He nodded, grabbing the whole thing from your hand and taking more.

"Ben! That's for the spaghetti!" Shoving his arm as you snatched the ladle back, he laughed. "Am I going to have to deal with this every time I cook?" You sighed as Ben smirked, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"Yup, so get used to it." Lying his chin on your shoulder as you stirred the sauce, you turned off the stove and left the ladle in the pot.

"Lovely." Fighting a grin, you looked over to Astro, seeing him lying on the ground as he looked up to you and Ben. "Now that it's confirmed Hux is in this lifetime, do you think Phasma is?"

"Honestly, I wish it were her instead of Hux...at least she was decent enough to care about you...in a sense." Ben responded as he stood up straight, you turning around to try and wrap your arms around his neck. "She did help us escape."

"Yeah...if she is here, I hope she's doing fine with what ever it is she's doing...I'm surprised you guys didn't know each other the way Finn, Rey and Poe have..." You pouted the slightest in a questioning manner.

"I think...it was for the best," Ben looked down at you. "You know, after the hell I went through with them, I think our 'friendship' would've gotten weird the moment I remembered."

"That's very true, I'm glad you and Hux never crossed paths until today...although I'm sure you must've at least once, but you probably didn't even realize it was him." Twirling some of his hair around your finger, Ben's eyes screwed back.

"And if I had I'm glad I forgot, it's probably because of that name of his...Erm-Arm-what is it again?" He scrunched up his nose.

Chuckling as Ben's eyebrows knitted, you smiled, " _Armitage_."

"Yeah, that...his dad must've not loved him."

"You're one to speak mister 'my middle name was Chewbacca'," You laughed as Ben's eyebrow raised.

"Whoa, hey! Chewbacca is a _far_ better name than Armpitstage-"

" _Armitage_."

"Armitage! Chewbacca is a loyal friend who I am proud to have known." Ben held his head high as you laughed. "And I'm _very_ sad that he is a dog now."

"You're such a dork..." Rolling your eyes playfully, your hands pressed against the back of his head as you tiptoed. "I love it," Kissing him with a grin you couldn't seem to shove away, Ben simply shrugged.

"I'm _your_ dork," He winked as you swatted his arm.

"C'mon, let's eat." Moving everything to the island table, you and Ben sat on the high chairs serving your food, Ben going on how his mother loved to experiment with dinner almost every night as he was a child, coming up with new recipes that Luke would give her from around the world.

"Sometimes it was great...sometimes I went to bed starving. I woke up those mornings feeling like death and begging for at least toast for breakfast." Ben shook his head as he spun his fork around the spaghetti.

"It was _that_ bad?" You asked as Ben nodded, shoving the food into his mouth. "I'm sure Leia isn't that bad of a cook..." Looking down at your food as you picked up a meatball, Ben gave you a look.

"She can be when she's experimenting. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the home cooked meals, but the fact that we can't get a simple lasagna or chicken for dinner made me lose my mind. I don't know how my dad put up with it and I'm thankful that Chewie did not have to deal with it." Ben shook his head as you looked back over, lightly chuckling.

"Did Luke and Rey ever suffer?" You questioned as you went for the spaghetti.

"Sometimes, especially on the holidays. One year Luke had to stop my mom from experimenting with thanksgiving. Instead of turkey she wanted to go with something else, I choose not to remember, and she kind of screwed it up and we had to have pizza for dinner..."

"Is this some sort of warning for Thursday?" Raising an eyebrow at Ben, he sighed.

"I hope not, I'm sure she's over those days seeing as I don't live with them anymore...although I try and go every Friday, she doesn't really cook much weird stuff, usually just my favorites." Smiling at him, you sucked the dangling noodle in, causing Ben to laugh.

"Shut up," You blushed, Ben wiping away the sauce from your cheek. "Thanks."

"You're such a kid, I'm dating a kid," He shook his head as you faked a gasp. "I can't believe it."

"Oh, get over yourself, be happy this kid cooked dinner for you." Pointing a finger at Ben, you went to serve yourself more meatballs, only for Ben to steal the ladle from you. "Hey!"

"I'm the bigger one here, I need all the food I can get-" Snatching the ladle from him, Ben tried getting it back but you shoved your hand on his face so he couldn't see.

" _My_ kitchen, _my_ meatballs-"

Shoving your hand down by your wrist, Ben took the ladle just as you served yourself. "It's my kitchen, too!"

"Last time I checked, you don't pay for the bills." Taking the whole pot in your hold and turning your back towards him, Ben narrowed his eyes.

"Fine, don't complain when you don't have someone to cuddle with in that king size bed of yours." Ignoring him, you were about to stand up, that is until he pulled you back by the waist.

"More room for me then," You stuck out your tongue as you spoke over your shoulder, Ben rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, so when I cuddle with Astro instead of you, you wouldn't mind?" Squinting your eyes, you huffed. "Thought so."

"You rather cuddle with my dog than me, that's harsh..." Trying to leave his grip, Ben held tighter. "You offend me in my house-"

" _Our_ house-"

"You offend me in _my_ house and prevented me from eating _my_ meatballs, I'm gonna kick you out mister rent-free." Holding tighter on the pot as you tried shifting out of his grip, Ben pulled you back even more.

"And where exactly are you going to go with that?" Ben asked.

"The balcony, have dinner with myself because you rather cuddle with a dog than your own girlfriend." Shaking his head, Ben peeled the pot out of your grip and placed it back down on the table. "And now you have the audacity to just snatch my food away!" Throwing your hands up in the air as you turned to face him, Ben fought a laugh. "This is not a joke, _Solo_ , this is serious business."

"Okay, _little girl_ , whatever you say." Lifting his hands up in defense, you gasped.

"I am no little girl, may I remind you that I work and pay my own bills!" You pointed a finger as Ben patted your head, serving himself more meatballs. "You suck."

"But you don't." He shrugged as you sat back on the stool.

"I don't know if I should be disgusted or flattered...but the latter sounds much more nicer so I'm going with that," You smiled over at him as he snickered, shaking his head.

For the next half hour the two of you got caught up finishing your dinner peacefully without each other interrupting one another, that was until Ben started stealing your meatballs and you having to smack his hand away each and every time. Eventually, he stopped, leaving you with only two meatballs as you made him cook the brownies instead of yourself as payback.

"I'm telling you, we should've gotten that whole row of brownie mixes, it would've been a feast." Ben said as he mixed the batter, you sighing as you cleaned up the dinner.

"Cause it isn't like you just ate a ton of food--including my own--right now." Putting the dishes in the dishwasher and tossing things away, Ben pointed the mixer over at you.

"Your food is delicious, alright? I took advantage of it." Rolling your eyes, you pinched his butt as you walked by, making him jump. "Hey!"

"Next time you think about stealing food from me, you won't ever taste my cooking again," You winked as Ben's eyebrows raised.

"You like threatening me, don't you?" Nodding your head, Ben scoffed. "Alright, who's the one buying that art gallery? Who's the one who buying the loft with it? And who is the one who could drop the idea of spending over two thousand bucks on it?" Glaring at him, Ben smiled. "That's right."

"Jerk face, you wouldn't think of letting the opportunity go to waste now that you know removing Hux from your proximity is an option."

"Okay, that's very true...you got me there." Smirking to yourself, you finished cleaning up and decided to sit on the counter, watching Ben bake the brownies. "Do you think he'll actually be out by tomorrow? You know, once I pay him?"

Shrugging, you leaned your head back against the cabinet as Ben spread the mix on a pan. "I hope so, he did seem intimated by you...but who knows, I don't think he'd change his mind about going to Paris. He's wanted this for a while."

"I hope so, too." Dipping his hand in the bowl before placing it in the sink, he smeared the chocolate all over your nose.

"Do not start with me, boy." You lifted up a finger as you glared at him. "I swear, if we have this morning all over again I will kick your ass."

Leaning forward, Ben smirked before licking your nose. "I'd like to see you try-" Seeing that you were about to jump off and tackle him, Ben ran off as you chased him, Astro moving out of the way as he sat on the couch, not wanting to be accidentally ran over.

"You're so gross!" Wiping your nose with your sleeve, Ben laughed as he ran around the island table, you chasing after. "Ugh!"

"Oh, get over it, it isn't like my cooties are that bad when I've clearly fu-"

"Shut up!" Reaching up to him, you shoved him on the ground and straddled him, pinning his arms against the cold floor. "I hate you, like a lot."

"I know you do, honey." He smiled as you screwed your eyes back. "That's why we're living together."

"Yeah, so I can be on your will and get all of that money, right?" With a wink and smirk, Ben's jaw hung loose.

"Unbelievable, I'm dating a gold digger!" He raised his eyebrows as you hushed him.

"Oh shut, you're lucky I don't love you for your money," Sticking your tongue out at him, you moved your grip over to his wrists. "Actually, you're lucky I _even_ love you."

"Wow, this is not the y/n I fell in love with, who are you?" Ben gasped as you shook your head.

"I'm her but stronger," You winked before leaning down and pressing a kiss against his lips. "And much more touchy-feely," You whispered before letting go of his wrists and holding onto his face, kissing him again.

Moving his hands onto your waist, Ben deepened the kiss as he slid his tongue across your bottom lip before your lips parted. Moaning the slightest through the kiss, your hips accidentally shifted the slightest, causing Ben to groan.

Gripping onto your hips even tighter, he moved your hips for you, his own bucking as your breath hitched. As much as the floor wasn't the ideal place to do it, you wouldn't be surprised if you two ended up screwing right there and then with the way your hips were moving against his own. " _God_..." Moving your hands into his hair, the kiss grew sloppier with every jerk of your hips. "Are-are we really-" Taking in deep breaths, Ben only pulled you back into the kiss with one hand as his other stayed latched on your hip.

Shoving his hand in your hair as he grabbed a fistful, the kiss had become a complete mess as your noses were bumping into on another, one of you parting to take in a breath as the other closed the gap to continue the kiss. Just as Ben's hands went for the button of your jeans, the oven beeped. "Well fuck..." He breathed as you sighed, slowly moving yourself off of him as you stood up. "Way to kill the mood."

"And you wanted a whole row of these," You said as you placed the brownies into the oven, Ben standing up and walking over to the couch.

"Now I regret even buying _one_..." Sitting next to Astro as he plopped down, you shook your head with a smile before walking over to him.

"It's fine, it isn't like it's going to kill the mood forever." Sitting on his lap, your hand lied on the back of his neck before pulled him into another kiss, Ben's hands holding onto your back as he lowered you. As he was about to lie you on the couch and move on top of you, Astro instantly jumped off and ran into your room, almost making you laugh. "It's like he knows."

"Smart dog." Placing a hand on the couch to keep himself steady as his other was now holding onto your cheek, you two went straight back into the kiss.

"How long do we have?" You asked in between kisses, grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head.

"A good fifteen minutes." Ben breathed as his hands went to remove your sweater, you helping as you tugged it off and tossing it to a side.

"I'm sure we can do it." Sitting up and pulling him back into the kiss, you untied the knot of his sweats as Ben unbuttoned your jeans. "Fifteen minutes is nothing."

"Yeah...yeah, nothing." He nodded as you stood up, Ben helping you tug off your rather tight jeans before pushing you back down on the couch.

"I just hope you don't fall." Realizing you two were doing this on a rather small couch, Ben took in a deep breath as he prayed that didn't happen, especially when the time came when he was in you.

"I hope not," Sliding off his sweats, Ben's hands went for your panties, only to hear a sudden knock on the door. "You have got to be shitting me, who the hell would come visit you at ten at night?" Ben whispered as you shrugged.

"I-I don't know? Ugh," Standing up, you grabbed the clothes and shoved them on him, quickly grabbing the coat that lied on your couch from a few days back. "Just, just go to my room," You waved him off as you heard the knock again followed by someone calling your name.

"Who was that?" Ben loudly whispered as your eyebrows knitted, trying to decipher who it was

"I don't know, just go!" Seeing Ben quickly slide into your room and shut the door, you turned around and sighed, unlocking the door. "I swear to god, if it's Rey I am going to-" Gulping, your eyebrows furrowed. "Poe?"

"Hey, long time no see!" He smiled.

"H-hey!" You waved, moving to a side as you let him in. As much as now wasn't the time to let your boyfriends best friend (who had a major crush on you) in, you didn't want to seem suspicious. "I did see you at Rey's engagement party but you were a bit too busy..."

"Oh, right...I did see you hanging out with her family." He walked in with a smile. "I also saw you met Ben! Finally, it's been a while since I wanted to introduce you two."

"Yeah, he's cool-wait, really?" Arching an eyebrow, Poe nodded. "Since when?"

"Since forever? I mean, you're a good friend of mine it would only make sense...but the guy is always traveling and I don't get to see him much. The last time I saw him was Friday night, haven't heard from him since." Seeing Poe shrug, you lightly gulped. "Hope he's doing alright, though I did hear rumors he was seen with some woman-"

"WHAT?!"

"You alright?" Poe laughed.

"Y-yeah, I meant _what_ as in Rey would be annoyed...you know..." You nodded with a forced grin.

"Yeah, that's true. As long as he's happy, I'm happy. I just wish he'd introduce me to the lucky gal! I mean, he always introduces me to every person he's ever dated, don't know why he hasn't done it now..." Poe crossed his arms.

"Maybe-maybe it's just a rumor?" You shrugged. "Maybe they mistaken someone else for Ben?"

"That's hardly true, Ben is a very well known man, hard to miss." Poe pointed a finger. "The man is known all around, so I wouldn't doubt if it was true." Feeling your heart drop to your stomach, you gulped. "I also found out he was buying an art gallery? I don't know why he would, he must be very bored or trying to do some investing. I think it was your exes art gallery, Armitages?"

Nodding your head as you shut your eyes, you sighed. "Yep...Armitage..." Mentally cursing yourself, you nearly forgot about how you introduced Hux to Poe the first date you two went on. "He's moving to Paris so it's no big deal," You chuckled.

"He is? I ran into him not too long ago, he was the one who told me all about Ben dating someone and buying out the gallery. He never mentioned moving?" Biting your tongue as you felt a scream build up in your throat, you could only imagine what Ben was thinking if he had been hearing all of this.

"R-Really? He...Armitage, he told you?" Nodding his head, your fists clenched the slightest. "Wow, how... _kind_ of him."

"It's only fair since Ben never answers his phone, at least not lately. That must be the reason why he hasn't spoken to me, because he has a girlfriend." Poe huffed. "I guess it's good for him since he's been down lately until recently. The man used to have a cloud over his hand and now it's like birds are singing to him."

"He must be...very...happy!" Grinning with a nod, Poe nodded back.

"Yep. Well, I might as well go, wanted to see how you were doing." He smiled. "It's good to see you're not working at this hour like usually are. Where's Astro?" Narrowing your eyes the slightest as you remembered Astro was in the room with Ben, you had hoped he would keep quite.

"Sleeping in my room, he's a big baby, sleeps a lot." You swatted your hand.

"How nice, well, I'll see you around." Pulling you into a hug, you hugged back, letting out a small sigh. "You're baking?"

Pushing back, you smiled. "Yeah! I was in the mood to bake...haven't had sweets in the longest."

"Oh, sweet, can-"

"I just remembered I have to call back my mom, will you excuse me?" Going to get your phone, Poes eyebrows narrowed the slightest.

"Yeah, I'll see you around..." Slowly backing out, you waved before you saw him leave.

Placing the phone down, you rushed to the door and shut it. "Unbelievable-"

"I told you! I told you Hux was still Hux! That evil bastard is gonna try anything to-" Turning around to see Ben barge out of the room as he tugged on his sweats, you rushed up to him.

"Hey, hey! Poe doesn't know it's me, okay? Hux didn't say it was me-"

"But he still-"

"Ben, were good...we're fine, alright? And if Hux does say it's me...he has no proof! Okay? We're doing just fine, no one will know." You nodded as you had placed your hands on his stomach to push him back. "It's all good..."

Pushing his hand through his hair, he let out a sigh. "I should call Poe..."

"Yeah you should! But not right now because that'll seem _extremely_ suspicious..." Seeing Ben nod, the two of you took in deep breaths. "Let's just hope that Poe wasn't right about Hux not saying anything about moving to Paris..."

"If that jackass thinks he can stay, I will _pay_ him to leave," Ben pointed a finger as you instantly grabbed his hand.

"New York is a big state, don't worry about Hux staying, it's not like he'll live next to me-"

"But what if he screws this up?! What if-"

"He won't, Ben, I promise...nothing is going to screw what we have. Okay?" Placing your hand on his cheek as Ben lightly leaned into it, you smiled. "We're going to do just fine, you and me. We're a team. Hux is the _least_ of our worries."


	17. XVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Fuck off, Arm."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: profanity/mentions of blood
> 
> *you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'*

"What do you mean you're not selling the place anymore?!" You nearly shouted as you and Ben had gone back to the gallery with the money in order to buy it off. "You-you can't just decide to _not_ want to sell it, Hux-" Seeing Hux give you a weird look, you instantly corrected yourself, "Armitage!"

"I've decided to stay, the US is my home and the art business is actually doing quite well over here than over there-"

Narrowing your eyebrows, you threw your hands up as Hux crossed his arms. "You're-you're not even from here!"

"Why is it such a big deal that I stay?" Hux chuckled as your eyes squinted for a split second.

Taking a step forward to your side, Ben spoke up. "I'll pay you double," He offered.

"Double? You'll pay me four hundred grand for this place?" Hux scoffed as Ben rubbed his face, you feeling yourself slowly building up the momentum to explode.

Looking around the room, Ben only slouched his shoulders. "No...but I'll give you fifty grand more."

"Why are you both so persistent to have this place?" Hux chuckled. "It isn't like a neonatal nurse and a business man have time to buy and use an art gallery..."

"How do you..." Squinting your eyes at Hux, he sighed.

"Let's just say we have met before," Hux looked over at Ben as Ben's eyebrows furrowed. "It had refreshed my memory when I had ran into your friend, Poe," Hux smiled over to you as your jaw clenched. "Apparently he is unaware that you are seeing someone, Ben. Doesn't Poe have a huge crush on you?" Looking at Ben then back at you, Hux held a devious smirk. "It would be a shame if the man found out his best friend is dating his-"

"Why you-" About to lunge forward, Ben held you back by the arm before you did anything stupid.

"Wow, so he doesn't know it's you...does anyone know it's you?" Hux tilted his head as your teeth gritted. "No, they don't...what a shame, you two are dating in secret. Why is that?"

"It's none of your business," Ben spoke through his clenched teeth, you being the one to hold him back now as he was about to snap.

"Well, clearly it is now since I'm the only one who knows...out of all people, your ex had to know. Do you know how much that means to me?" Hux placed a hand on his chest as you gulped. "I could really use that to my advantage-"

"For what? Huh? Blackmail just because you're not over me? Like that's going to stop me from being with Ben-"

"No, it won't, but the people who find out will...I'm sure his parents wouldn't care, but yours? You dating a man five years older than you? I'm easily seven years older than you and remember how your parents reacted? A twenty year old with a twenty seven year old, they were livid. Remember how we had to sneak-"

"Shut up!" You snapped, your fists clenching tightly as you had let go of Ben.

"Oh, they're going to be so upset how their daughter didn't listen the first time-"

"I'm a grown woman, I can be with whoever the hell I want, Hux." You seethed as Ben now held tightly on to you, all you wanted to do was knock that stupid grin off of his face.

"We'll see about that." He smiled as you took in heavy breaths. "I'll sell you the place, but this means I won't be moving."

"Then where will you be living?" You asked, clenching your jaw.

"Oh...I don't know...I did see a few lofts up for sale in your building-"

"You wouldn't!" Trying to slip yourself from Ben's hold, he was too strong for you to manage.

"Once I get the money from your...semi-decent boyfriend here, then yes, I would." Grinning from ear to ear, Ben let out a low growl as he sent a glare over to Hux.

"I'm a far better boyfriend to y/n than you could ever possibly be." Ben snapped.

"Yes, because dating in secret makes it all the better...why are you dating in secret anyway? Aside from your families not knowing?" Hux curiously asked as he tilted his head.

"Stop asking questions you know you won't get answers to, Armitage." Giving him a dirty look, he simply shrugged.

"Remember who you're talking to, I know all about this secret relationship, with one single drop of evidence, I could ruin it all for you two," Hux slightly leaned forward as he threatened.

Without even second thinking it, you slid your arm from Ben's hold and felt your now balled fist come into contact with Hux's jaw, causing him to bend forward as he held onto it. "Don't you dare think you can threaten me or my relationship you asshat. You can keep your filthy gallery, I rather you stay here than live anywhere near me."

Turning on your heel, you stormed out as you left Ben standing there, his fists now tightened as his jaw tightened from the urge to do exactly what you did to Hux, but worse. "You're lucky I know my limits. If she hadn't done it herself, I'm sure my fist would've broken your jaw." Ben spat before turning around and walking off, Hux standing up straight and giving you two a dirty look as he rubbed his cheek.

Forcefully shoving yourself through crowds of people as your eyes burned with furious tears, you hadn't realized Ben had been calling you until you felt someone pull you to a side. "Hey, hey, listen to me..." Gently holding onto your chin as he made you look up, Ben's free hand held onto your upper arm as he slightly crouched to be at your eye level. "Don't let him get to you, alright? He can't do shit. He's just a jealous bastard who thinks his words can scare us."

Taking in deep breaths as your eyes locked onto Ben's, you shook your head and rubbed your eyes. "You don't know him, Ben. He knows people, lots of people--he knows journalists and editors, he could easily spread the word. For all we know he had secret cameras recording us!"

Wiping the few tears away, Ben's voice softened. "So what? The word gets out that we're together, then what? It isn't like it's going to ruin anything-"

"Ben, my parents...they're exactly how they were in our past life. Like Hux said, they would be absolutely furious that I'm dating someone much older than me rather than someone a few months apart. Do you honestly think they'd want me to date a business man?"

Seeing Ben arch an eyebrow, he nodded. "Uh...yes? Isn't that kinda like every parents dream?"

Rolling your eyes, you sighed, "Not for mine. They prefer I be single than date around unless it's someone else from the hospital." Throwing your hands up, you grunted. "They're so hypocritical! It's unfair that my brother was able to marry this woman who he met at a damn _bar_ yet I have to marry someone who's a stupid doctor!"

Moving his hands onto your cheeks, Ben shook his head. "They have no say in who you get to marry, alright? Like you said, you're a grown woman. This isn't like how it was before, we're not at war and I'm not the enemy. We're a pair of human beings who feel a normal emotion that is love towards one another. They seriously can't stop you from being happy, alright? No matter what, this is _your_ life and _you_ get to choose who you want to be with--not them."

"I know...I just, I don't want them being upset with me..." You sighed. "I hate this, and I hate Hux. Why didn't I know this sooner? I would have never dated him!"

"I'm sure he would've eventually ended up in our lives and done the same, it's inevitable--except this time, we have a higher chance of staying together." Kissing your forehead, Ben pulled you into a hug. "We'll be fine, Hux won't do anything, he's just a douchebag who's jealous."

. . .

Sitting all bundled up next to Ben as he had an arm wrapped around your shoulder as the two of you sat on the couch and watched some TV, a sudden knock was heard on your front door. Lifting your head up from his chest, you pushed the blanket to a side. "Should I hide?" Ben asked as you stood up.

"It's me, Rey!" Rey called from the other side, you looking at Ben and shaking your head. "I have something I think you two wanna see." Looking back at the door with furrowed eyebrows, you slid it open to see her holding a newspaper.

"What's th-"

"I don't think your little secret is a secret anymore..." Handing over the paper, you gulped as you got a hold of it, looking at the front cover to see a picture of that small kiss you and Ben had shared at the grocery store yesterday. "I thought you guys were cautious about all of this?"

"We are, but Ben insisted no one goes down those freezer aisles..." Looking at the photo, you skimmed to see the source of it as you felt Ben's presence was now right behind you.

"Well, no one really ever does-"

"Who would've taken that?" Rey curiously asked as your jaw shifted, finger pointing to the name under the photo as you looked up at Ben.

"Fucking Armandhammer!" He exclaimed as Reys eyebrows knitted.

"Arm and hammer? Who the hell is that?" She asked as you shook your head.

"Armitage," You corrected, reading the article.

"Armitage? Your ex? That jerkoff did this to you? Why?" Reys eyebrows knitted even more.

"Because he's a jealous scumbag who still likes me," You groaned. "Look at this, _mysterious woman seen with local business man Ben Solo_. Unbelievable! He handed you up!" Tossing the news paper onto the couch, you plopped on it as you rubbed your eyes.

"At least he didn't hand _you_ up," Ben took in a deep breath, picking up the newspaper and reading it. "This is a load of crap, they make it seem like it's an affair! I'm not even married?!"

"Look, no one really believes the crap on these newspapers, I'm sure you're good." Rey nodded. "We just have to make sure no one realizes it's you, y/n."

"Shit," You mumbled against your hands before looking up, "We ran into Jess there."

"Jess? As in Jessika Pava?" Nodding your head, Rey sighed. "She wouldn't tell anyone, I know that-"

"But what about Poe? What if he tells her about Ben or what if she sees that and recognizes who it is! What if she tells Poe?!" You freaked out, Ben tossing the newspaper onto the coffee table before sitting next to you.

"Whoa, hey, she won't. Jess is smart and knows not to get into other people's business, she wouldn't do that to you." Ben assured as he placed a hand on your back.

"What about Hux? Do you think he'd hand you up?" Rey asked as you scoffed.

"He already told Poe about Ben and threatened to spill that it's me who's with Ben...so I wouldn't doubt he would." You mumbled into your hands as you had shoved your face into them. "I can't believe he would do this, not even twenty four hours later!"

Walking over to the two of you, Rey crossed her arms. "What do you mean?"

Looking up to his cousin, Ben sighed. "We went to go buy Hux's gallery-" Raising her eyebrows, Ben lifted up his hand, "-it's a long story, anyways, we were supposed to buy it out today until Hux pulled this shit on us that he wouldn't be moving to Paris like he was supposed to...then he had the audacity to say he'd sell the place and buy his own in this building."

Gasping, Reys eyes widened. "No way? What a dick! I knew he was bad news from the beginning," Rey shook her head as you lifted your face up from you hands, tears burning in your eyes as Ben only frowned.

"This is my fault." You said as Ben instantly stood up. "I should have never bothered with the whole buying the place-"

"Nothing's your fault...you didn't know he had this side in him." Ben said as he looked down at you, then turning around to grab his wallet and phone from the coffee table. "You did nothing wrong."

"Yes, I did, I should've left things the way they were. I should've just let you be a business man and I stay being a nurse and not a damn muse." You shook your head as Ben sighed, walking over to the main door.

"Ben, where are you going?" Rey called out to Ben as you instantly stood up.

"Don't go, don't do anything stupid, it's enough I punched him-"

"You punched Armitage?" Rey asked with a small grin as you nodded to her.

"Yes, and I wouldn't mind doing it a second time, but now isn't the time for violence." You now looked up at Ben, trying to pull him away from the door, but he wouldn't budge. "Don't do this Ben, this is _my_ problem to fix."

"It's _our_ problem, and holding me back won't fix it!" He retorted as he pushed you away from the door, you sliding from his grip as he went to slide it open.

"Don't do this, Ben, please! I don't need you getting into trouble!" You pleaded.

"I don't want him screwing things up again, alright? I love you and that's all that matters." Furrowing her eyebrows from behind, Rey mouthed a what. "He needs to understand that our love isn't to be messed with-"

"Love? What is going on? Did I miss something?"

Completely ignoring Rey, you grabbed Ben's arm. "Please, please don't go...you're a massive guy and I can only imagine what your fists could do to Hux's face..."

"You wouldn't want to know." Shoving you to a side, Ben stormed out.

"Ben!" You called out. "Ugh," Rushing over to the counter, you grabbed your purse.

"Where are you going?!" Rey called out as you rushed to follow after Ben. "You two seriously need to think this through, you guys can't possibly let this get to you!" She yelled as she followed after you.

Ben was beyond furious, he could feel it in his chest as it ached with every beat of his heart, fists clenching at his sides as he took long strides. He wasn't fully seeing red, but he was pissed that the ginger would go _that_ far to nearly expose Ben's relationship with you when he knew it was a secret.

"Ben!" You called out as you had shoved past the doors of your lofts building. "Ben!" Seeing him get lost in the crowd, your stomach turned for the worst. "Crap, Ben, don't do this..." You breathed, running after him.

"Y/n! Wait!" Rey called out as she watched you get lost in the horde of people. "Dammit, why them out of all people?!" Rey mumbled to herself as she went after you.

Storming over to Hux's gallery as he forced his way through the crowds, towering nearly everyone and pushing them out of his way, he didn't even bother coming to a stop when he had to cross the street. "Ben!" You shouted as cars honked at him, you hoping he wasn't going to get hit. "Ben, don't be so stupid!" Ignoring you, or at least you thought he was, you watched as he forcefully pulled the door open to Hux's gallery. "Shit..."

Quickly moving onto the street, Rey shouted at you as she tried pushing past people, you gasping here and there as a car zoomed by. "Y/n, be careful!" Rey called out, instantly running over to you as you finally made it to the sidewalk. "Watch where you're going!" Rey shouted at a car as she darted past it.

Looking around the area, Ben made his way up the steps and over to the loft as he watched Hux stand there by the kitchen, reading the newspaper with a grin. "You asshole!" Ben shouted, nearly causing Hux to fall back as he looked up. "How fucking dare you?!"

Growing wide eyed, the man darted down the spiral staircase as Ben chased after him. "I warned you!" Hux shouted.

Walking in as you panted, you watched as Ben pulled Hux's shirt back and nearly tossed him onto the ground. "Ben, Ben please!"

"You wicked son of a bitch! You're just jealous!" Ben shouted as he straddled Hux, throwing punches. "You made her cry!"

"Ben, don't do this!" You called out, rushing to his side.

"You can't just let y/n be happy with someone else, now, can you?!" Slamming his fist into Hux's jaw, you tried pulling Ben off. "No, you have to be a selfish, hypocritical, douchebag who believes if he can't have her no one can!"

Quickly moving yourself in between Hux and Ben, Ben's fist stopped inches away from your face as you shut your eyes. "Ben...please...this won't solve the situation..." You nearly whispered as all you could hear were Ben's heavy breaths, the man instantly standing up as your eyes opened.

"Listen to the girl, she's right, Solo. It'll only make things worse-" Turning around, you were now the one throwing fists against Hux's face before Rey instantly pulled you off.

"Whoa! Okay, clearly this isn't making the situation better!" Rey spoke up as she stood you up, moving you over to Ben as you shook your hands as they throbbed from the punches--you never really punched anyone until today.

"So Rey knows, too? Unbelievable..." Hux chuckled as blood stained his teeth and dripped from his nose. "Do you honestly think that it was smart to tell this dimwit-" Furiously turning around, Rey slammed her fist against Hux's nose and harshly broke the bone as Ben lunged forward, you holding him back.

"Fuck off, Arm." Rey spat as she stood up. "The last thing you do is mess with my family and my friends, so let me tell you this, you make sure your wuss of a friend back at the newspaper company voids the rest of the prints and brings down all the articles. Then, you rid any evidence of these two even being a thing and never speak of it again."

"And what if I don't?" Hux smirked.

"Oh, if you don't?" Rey crouched down, "I'll make sure this fist does more than bust your sorry nose...and I don't mean your body, but your entire life. With one call I could easily make you a nobody, no one would ever buy Armitage Hux art pieces ever again." Rey grinned.

Twitching his lip as Hux let out a low snarl, Rey patted his chest. "Don't be stupid, Armitage, unless you _want_ to be a nobody."

Getting no response as he gave her a dirty look, Hux only sighed in defeat. "So, are you going to comply?" Slowly nodding his head, Rey smiled. "Good. I also suggest you give up this place again, too." Standing up, the three of you aimed for the front door.

"Don't think you've won this easily 'cause your cousin saved your ass, Solo!" Hux called out, "This isn't the end of-" Shutting the door behind you, the three of you walked away.

"I think it's safe to say that that was pretty... _incredible_." Rey stated with a nod. "Although I'm not so into the whole violence, the man got what he deserved."

"Tell me about it..." Ben mumbled as he gently grabbed your hands and looked at your now bruised knuckles. "And I thought you were supposed to stop me from harming Hux?"

"I got a bit carried away..." You shrugged as Ben gently left kisses on your knuckles.

"So...do any of you wanna tell me why you two are in love and how Armitage somehow separated you two before?" Exchanging looks, you and Ben simply ignored her question. "Hello? I need to know!"


	18. XVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But I don't want to keep it a secret f o r e v e r..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *you can also find me on tumblr with the username 'kyloholic'*

If you were having an out-of-body experience, you probably would've been embarrassed by the way you had fallen asleep on Ben. The last few nights you two slept together were different from tonight--you actually slept as if he weren't even there and you weren't sure if Ben even realized it.

You two were dead asleep, Ben lying on his back with his mouth wide open as one arm loosely draped over your back while the other dangled off the bed. Then there was you...out of the entire king size bed you easily took up 70% of it the way you were sprawled out. Half of your body lied on Ben's chest rather than resting your had on a pillow as the other half was diagonal on the bed, almost lying like a starfish. You felt like a huge child...it wasn't your felt your bed was _that_ comfortable and so was Ben's chest. If someone were to walk in and see this, you were sure as hell they would laugh at how disastrous it must've seemed.

Hearing a loud bang coming from the front door, you groaned, your half-asleep state not wanting to move from its comfortable position. Hearing the bang again, you groaned even more; who could possibly be at the door?

Grabbing Ben's hand and placing it on your ear to deafen out the noise, you heard the heavy knocking again, only to sigh as your eyes fluttered open. "Ugh..." Moving Ben's arm off of you, sat up and lightly chuckled at the sight of him lying there with his mouth wide open. "Cute..." Stretching your arms, the knock was heard again, only to make you shout. "God dammit, I'm coming!" Nearly jumping awake, you looked over to see Ben with wide eyes, rubbing his mouth as if he had drool. "Morning, Princess." You teased him as he took in deep breaths.

"Was the yelling necessary?" He his horse voice spoke, sitting up as you stood up from the bed.

"Yes, some impatient jerk is at the door," You spoke over your shoulder, pulling the bedroom door open to walk to the main door.

"Y/n! It's me! Open up!" Sighing, your shoulders slumped. Looking at the time on the stove, you sighed. _7:32 in the morning...of course Rey is up this early_. "Hey! Open up!" Sliding the door open, she held up a newspaper. "He...he listened!" She breathed as if she had ran a mile.

Narrowing your eyebrows, you rubbed your eyes. "Huh?"

"Armitage! He listened! His place is up for sale and all the news stands rid the article! It's not online either!" Feeling yourself suddenly grow wide awake, you smiled and grabbed onto the news paper, reading how the art gallery was up for sale once again.

"No way!" You shrieked, hearing disgruntled noises come from behind. "This is perfect!"

"Why are you two yelling?" Kylo groaned as he trudged over, rubbing his head as he yawned.

Turning around, you grinned and pointed to the newspaper. "Hux put the gallery up for sale and got to remove all the headlines!" Grabbing onto the newspaper, Ben's eyes narrowed as Rey had awkwardly turned her back towards you two. "Rey?"

"It's typical human decency to be _decent_ and put pants on, Ben." She crossed her arms as she spoke over her shoulder, your eyes trailing over to Ben's boxers.

"You're lucky I was willing enough to even put boxers on," Ben smirked as you instantly swatted his arm, causing Rey to gasp.

"Gross!" Turning around she lifted up a hand to cover Ben. "Have some control over your boyfriend."

Shrugging, you placed your hands on your hips, "Can't do anything about that, Rey, he does as he pleases."

Rolling her eyes, she sighed. "What ever, at least you two have good news while I have a burned image in my head of my cousin, see you two later." Waving a hand, she walked off as you shut the door.

"Sooo..." You trailed on, looking up at Ben with a toothy smile as you held your hands together. "Are-"

"Yes, I'm still up for buying the place..." He sighed, causing you to clap. "Anything to make you happy..." Rolling his eyes, you smacked his stomach.

"Such enthusiasm!" About to walk past him, Ben tossed the newspaper onto the island table before pulling you back and throwing you over his shoulder. "I am not a toy!"

"No, but since I'm doing what you want, I wanna do what I want," Feeling his hand collide with your ass, your eyes widened as your face grew red.

"Jeez, Ben, I didn't know you were into that." Smiling to himself, he shrugged before lying his hand on the same spot he smacked you.

"I'm full of surprises." Rolling your eyes, you allowed your arms to dangle rather than fight him to let you go.

. . .

Walking hand in hand along the sidewalk as you were bundled up from the cold weather, you took small sips from your hot chocolate as you and Ben had decided today was the day to _finally_ buy the art gallery. "Ugh, do you think tomorrow will be even colder? The temperature keeps dropping and dropping and I hate having to add more and more layers...especially when I'm going to have to take it all off once we're at my and at your parents houses."

Looking over to you, Ben chuckled. You were a bit exaggerated with your attire, wearing multiple shirts and sweaters along with a scarf and beanie...whereas Ben simply wore jeans and a long sleeved tee under a jacket--you envied how easily he dealt with the cold. "Really? I haven't noticed?" He shrugged as you sighed, sipping more of the hot chocolate as Ben's hand had been warming the hand that wasn't holding on to the warm cup.

"Since you're a living and breathing heater, don't get mad if I get too clingy," You warned as you took another sip, Ben smiling as he moved around you. Switching the hand he had been holding yours with, he draped the same arm around your should as you held tightly onto his hand, feeling his body heat exert onto you as you were pulled closer.

"I don't mind." Looking ahead with a grin, you leaned your head against him as the two of you walked on. You were thankful for this closeness, you wouldn't trade it for the world.

"So there's an actual realtor..." You pointed out as you and Ben had entered the gallery. "What, was Hux not man enough to face us again?" Chuckling, you tossed away the now empty cup.

"Hello!" The blonde women greeted. "You must be here for the gal-...Ben Solo?" She nearly gasped as you blinked, looking over at him confused as he nervously laughed. "Is that really you?" Placing her clipboard under her arm, she went to pull him into a hug, your hand slipping away from his as he awkwardly stood there.

"Uh...hi?" Blinking at the sight unraveling in front of you, you could tell how uncomfortable Ben had become.

Leaning back, she smiled up at him, "Do you not remember me?" Shaking his head, your eyebrows raised.

"To tell you the truth.. _no_..."

Chuckling, the women swatted a hand before pushing her hair over her shoulder. "That's probably because I dyed my hair! It's me, Lara!" She introduced herself in a manner as if he should remember. _Who is she anyways?_

"Lara?" He questioned, rubbing the back of his head. "Lara...oh, Lara!" Feeling your jaw drop the slightest, Ben nodded. "Yeah, Lara! Back from middle school...wow, you've changed."

"So have you!" Arching an eyebrow, you crossed your arms. "Wow, you've gotten so...big! Like, insanely tall and built, not the same Ben Solo I knew back in seventh grade," She chuckled as your eyebrows knitted. Was she going to completely ignore the fact that you were standing right there?

"Yeah, puberty hit me well and I'm taking care of myself," He nodded, still rubbing the back of his neck as you rolled your eyes. _This isn't weird at all._

"I can tell..." She trailed, eyes shifting down his body as your moth fell open, was she actually checking him out? In front of you? The one Ben had _just_ been holding hands with? "If I would've known you would've turned out this way I would've stayed with you." Growing wide eyed, your arms fell to your side.

"Uh, well-"

"It's a shame since he's already with somebody else!" You stepped in with a wide grin, grabbing onto Ben's hand--how sneaky of you, do the exact same thing Ben had done to you when you had first spoken to Hux. "Hi, I'm y/n y/l/n, Ben's _girlfriend_." You nodded as the woman shifted her eyes over to you, sticking out your hand for her to shake.

Slowly grabbing onto your hand, you could sense how still the atmosphere grew as she wore an uncomfortable smile. If she wanted to act such a way she should've expected such response from you. "Girl...friend...wow."

Nodding your head with a smile, you let go of her hand as you tightened your grip around Ben's hand the slightest. "Yeah, we're actually going to buy this place out!"

"We're?" She repeated. "You two are gonna...live here?"

"Mhm!" You nodded your head as Ben did, too, just not as eagerly. You were trying to get a point across hoping she got the message. "We have the payment already, we've discussed this with the previous owner."

Looking at you and then Ben, and then back to you again, she slowly nodded. "I see...well, there were people in waiting to-"

"I have the check written out, all we need is to sign off," Ben spoke up as Lara looked at him, as she was trying to come up with more of an excuse for him not to pay. 

"But I-"

"We would like to move in as soon as we can," You nodded as Ben pulled out the check, Lara gulping as she handed over the paperwork.

"What use do you have with a gallery? It isn't like you two are going to make and sell art?" She questioned as Ben went to a side to fill out the forms. "Are either of you even artists?"

"You seem to have forgotten how I used to always doodle in class and get in trouble for it," Ben spoke up from his spot.

"Ben draws great," You stated with a nod. "It makes sense to give him a gallery," With a shrug, Lara looked at you confused.

"Give him? It isn't like you two have money to-"

"I'm a business man, this is a good investment." Seeing the blondes mouth hang loose, you fought back a chuckle. "So I definitely have to money to 'blow'." Ben said with air quotes.

"Business...man?" She muttered. "But you never seemed to want to take part in your families business...I-"

"I changed my mind, it's pretty interesting actually and involves lots of traveling around with my uncle, I enjoy it." Walking back over, Ben handed over the papers before placing an arm around your shoulder. "Especially when I can do things like this and get to share the opportunity with my girlfriend."

Shifting her eyes back and forth from you and Ben, she let out a fake laugh. "How...cute..."

Trying your best not to laugh, you slyly looked away, acting as if you were eyeing the gallery--Ben clearly noticing this and smiling to himself as he knew well enough why you had been acting this way. It wasn't like Ben would leave you for the woman, he loved you a little too much to even think of it. "Very," He said, looking back over to Lara.

"Am I late?!" A women called out, her accented voice ringing in your ears as you and Ben looked over your shoulders, only to grow wide eyed. "I'm late, I must be..."

"Sorry, the place has been sold..." Lara stated, walking past you and Ben before tossing the keys over. "These two... _love birds_...bought it." She said in a matter as if she were about to puke.

"No...no, I was going to rent the place! Dammit, that stupid ginger promised me he'd save it for me..." The blonde woman muttered under her breath as you and Ben exchanged looks. "Is there anyway I can buy it from you two?" She eagerly asked as you two fully turned to face her.

"That won't be possible, they fully bought it out-"

"How much?" The blonde asked Lara.

"Two hundred thousand-"

"TWO HUNDRED-" Cutting herself off, she gulped. "Dammit."

Letting go of Ben's hand, he was about to pull you back before you swatted, walking over to the woman with a smile. "How about we make a deal?" Looking up at her, your eyes widened at how tall she had been, how could you forget _that_?

"A deal?" She arched an eyebrow, crossing her arms. "What kind of deal...?"

"You can work along side Ben if you want, he'll be busy here and there so it'll be nice to have someone else use the gallery as well," You nodded as Ben shook his head, rushing over to your side.

"Uh, _honey_ , I don't-"

"Are you serious?" The blonde asked, moving her hands onto her hips as you nodded.

"No, of course she's n-"

"Ben, I think it would be a great idea, she can help pay for some of the bills and supplies for herself," You spoke over to him as he took in a deep breath.

"But-"

"Right? I think it would be _fair_ to offer such thing to a striving artists." You insisted, only to hear Ben sigh as he pushed his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, I guess..." Grinning, you looked back over to the blonde. "As long as she pays for her own crap."

"You're offering me a spot in the gallery?" She asked with a smile as you nodded.

"Yeah! But you can't live here-"

"That's no big deal!" She exclaimed. "Oh man, this is great!" Smiling at her, she stuck out her hand, "The name's Phasma."

. . .

"I can't believe Phasma is here as well," You nearly shrieked as Ben huffed, rolling his eyes as the two of you walked over to his condo. "I mean, it makes sense since Hux is here...but Phasma? I wish it was _just_ Phasma..."

"Why do you care so much?" He asked, shoulders slumping. Ben wanted nothing to do with the First Order, even if Phasma had helped you two in the previous life. "It isn't like she's a good person."

"She was kind to _me_." You stated as Ben rubbed his face.

"But she wasn't kind to _Finn_ , remember that?" Ben looked over at you as you sighed.

"I remember..." Dropping your head as you rubbed your forehead, you instantly looked back up at Ben. "But, she's different now! And she doesn't know Finn!" You nodded as Ben's eyebrows narrowed. 

"Different? You said Arm guy was different but he wasn't," He pointed out with narrow eyes as you looked away, stubbornly. "Remember that?"

"Okay, okay! I get it, I get it...but Phasma didn't do anything wrong to us...she's cool, right?" Looking back up at Ben, he shrugged. 

"Yeah, yeah I guess-"

"And she helped us, and she was nice to me... _somewhat_...and I don't recall her being a jerk to you!" 

"What ever..." Letting go of your hand, he stuck his own pair into the pocket of his jeans. "I'm giving her one chance, if she screws it up, she's out." Grinning, you nodded as you rushed to his side as he walked ahead.

"That's good with me!"

. . .

"I'm not ready for tomorrow..." Taking in a deep breath as you had helped Ben decorate his tree, Ben walked around and placed a hand on your head.

"Don't worry about it, it'll be fine, we're just friends," He winked as he pressed a kiss against you forehead. 

"Yeah, _just_ friends, because friends totally live together and have-"

"We're _special_ friends," Ben corrected as he added the last few decorations up as you plopped onto his couch. "Who have a good time."

Chuckling, you leaned back in the chair as you messed with the hem of your shirt, letting out a small sigh. "It's just...what if one of them saw the article?"

"I'm sure they would've called you yesterday or even earlier if they had..." Ben assured as he closed up the few boxes that held the decorations. "We're good." Sitting there, Ben noticed the sudden wave of anxiety that had crashed into you. "Hey, it's fine, remember what we said? If they ask, we tell them the truth," He nodded as he crouched in front of you, grabbing your hands and kissing the back of them.

"But...I don't know if I have the courage to say it." You sighed as Ben gave you a warm smile. 

"You will, I know you will, if this is our only chance to actually be together...you'd do anything to keep it." Nodding your head, Ben picked you up in his arms. "Let's go...cuddle." Smiling you wrapped you arms around his neck as you lied your head on his shoulder.

Walking over to his room and turning on his tv, the two of you squashed up together under the sheets--your arms folded and pressed against Ben's side as he had an arm wrapped around you, the warmth being exerted from him making you the least bit of cold. "Okay, what about Christmas? When that comes around and they still don't know, would we tell them then?"

"I guess so, I mean, it'll be a month by then and I'm sure it wouldn't be so bad telling them then rather than almost a week later..." He muttered, keeping his eyes locked onto the tv screen.

"And what if it doesn't come up then?"

"Why are you so worried about it?" He chuckled, turning his attention to you.

"I don't know it's just...I don't want anything to screw it up...what we have now is good, aside from what happened yesterday, so far its going well..."

Sucking in a breath, Ben looked away. "But I don't want to keep it a secret forever..."

Looking up at him, you sat on your knees and shook your head. '"Of-of course not! We wouldn't! I want to do things with your family and our friends, I want to go out places and be able to kiss you and hold you...I mean, it doesn't stop us from holding hands now in public-"

"That's because the streets are croweded-"

"Okay, don't kill the thought of it," You rolled your eyes as he chuckled. "It won't be a secret forever, let's just...let the time come...if fate wants us to reveal it tomorrow then I guess-I guess we should..." Looking down at your hands, Ben pulled you back into his chest.

"You don't know how happy my mother will be once she finds out I'm _actually_ with you..."


	19. XIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh right...your grandfather is coming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'*

The entire night you had found yourself wide awake, a side of you unable to to fall asleep even though your body craves the unconsciousness, you feeling very anxious of the thought thanksgiving was the next day and you would have to go to two dinners with Ben. As much as you were in a comfortable position that was lying on Ben's chest, you couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with the lingering thought in the back of your mind, so when the clock had hit eight in the morning and your eyes had fallen heavy, you only received two hours of sleep.

"I'm so anxious..." You gulped, shaking your hands as you paced. "So, very anxious..." Completely ignoring the fact that Ben had been trying to find an outfit he'd find best on him for the evening, you found yourself panicking. "I-I mean what if they do ask? What if they-if they saw the article?! What if Hux told them?!"

Rushing to your side, Ben instantly latched onto your face as he stopped you mid-pace. "Hey, remember what I told you yesterday, it's all going to be fine. Okay? We're adults, we're allowed to do whatever the hell we want. And if we want to be together even though we've known each other for like a week...we can because it's our lives. We're not out living in separate planets! We're not in a war! We're two normal people who are in love...okay?" Nodding your head as you kept your eyes locked onto Ben's, he leaned down enough to press a kiss against your forehead as you shut your eyes.

"Okay..." You nodded, reopening your eyes to see Ben giving you a warm smile.

Grabbing your hand, Ben pulled you over to his closet. "Now help me choose a suit, I have no idea what to wear." Raising your eyebrows, you chuckled.

Going through the infinite amount of suits he had, you instantly pulled out a set, moving to get the buttoned up and a matching tie and lying it out on the table that sat in the middle of the walk-in closet. "Alright, I think this is good enough."

"A navy blue suit and a blue shirt? Are you sure this isn't-"

"Trust me, I think you'll look great," You winked. "As for myself, I think I should get going, I promised my mom I'd help cook some food with her." Tiptoeing to give his cheek a kiss as you held onto his arm for balance, Ben lightly smiled. "I'll see you later."

Walking out of his closet and room, you aimed for the elevator. "Wait!"

Turning around as you had pressed the button, Ben grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him, "What is-" Pressing a kiss to your lips, you fought a grin.

"I love you." He mumbled against your lips as you smiled.

"I love you, too," Kissing him again, you heard the elevator ding. "I'll see you in a bit, alright!" Waving at him, Ben nodded. "You have my parents address, right?"

"Yeah, no worries!" Seeing the doors slide close, Ben let out a small breath before turning on his heel. "Why does it feel like something unexpected is going to happen?"

Rushing out of the elevator, down the lobby and onto the streets, you instantly groaned as you heard the familiar ringtone you had assigned your mom. "Yes, I am on my way...well, soon-"

_"Hello to you, too, sweetie."_

"Hello..." You sighed. "I'm sorry I'm running late, I had to do a few things."

_"Don't you have the week off?"_

"Yes, but I have things I have to do, y'know..." Nodding your head, you quickened your pace as you tried gliding through the crowd.

 _"Ah, I see, yes...almost forgot you're a grown woman!"_ She chuckled as you rolled your eyes.

"Why did you call? Not to sound harsh or anything," You went straight to the point.

_"Oh, right...your grandfather is coming."_

"Grandfather? What grandfather?" You questioned. "Dads father passed away years ago-"

 _"My father,"_ Your mother sighed, _"The one you haven't seen in years...decades."_

Taking in a deep breath, your eyebrows raised. "Oh..."

 _"Yes, so not only is Leia's son coming-"_ Feeling your heart skip a beat, you calmed yourself down, _"-but also your estranged grandfather."_

Nodding your head, you forced a smile. "Well, isn't that just _lovely_..."

_"I thought I'd let you know so you wouldn't be surprised, he'll be coming over just before dinner is served."_

"Awesome...I'm so looking forward to that." You lied as your mother let out a sigh.

_"Your sarcasm is duly noted."_

"Thanks...I've gotta go, I'll see you later." Hearing her say goodbye back, you hung up as your eyes landed on a familiar blonde. "Phasma?"

Turning her head, she smiled and waved. "Y/n! Hey, how's it going?"

"It's going...fine..." Seeing her hold a bunch of flyers, your eyes trailed back up at her. "And you? Passing out flyers?"

Smiling, she looked down and lifted one of the papers up. "Yes, I'll be holding an outdoor exhibit amongst a few other artists in Central Park tonight around ten! You totally should come with Ben!" She nodded her head with a wide grin as she handed you the paper. "Of course, after your holiday festivities..."

"You're not doing anything tonight?" You questioned as she shook her head with a shrug.

"Well, seeing as I'm not really American-"

"Oh, that's no excuse, you should take it as an opportunity to hang out with friends and family!" You smiled with a nod.

"Thank you but I really have no one and have too much to do before the outdoor expo, but thank you for your concern, I highly appreciate it," Phasma bowed her head.

"Well, if you change your mind you know my number," Patting her arm, you walked backwards. "And I'll totally make it to this! I'm sure Ben would love to go!" You exclaimed, waving goodbye before turning around and jogging off.

"Enjoy your evening!" Phasma called out.

Rushing into your lofts building and darting up the stairs, you were instantly greeted by Astro only to apologize a bunch of times as you filled his bowls with water and food. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" You called out, hopping around as you removed your shoes and clothes. "I'm sorry, buddy, I love you!" Running back and forth to gather your things while deciding what to change into, you sighed as you left that for last, entering your bathroom and going straight for the shower.

After showering, the process of getting ready was a mess and it almost felt like how it did for Reys engagement party--multitasking at its finest. Pulling on the grey long sleeved dress as you straightened your hair while putting some makeup on, you ended up hopping on one foot as you put your heels on. _"What time are you coming tonight?"_ Rey asked on her end of the line.

"Uh, probably nine? I'm not so sure..."

_"Is Ben taking you with him to his parents? Or are you taking yourself?"_

"No, Ben is, I think..." Mentally cursing yourself, you forgot to ask what the driving arrangements were as you were too busy freaking out earlier.

_"You think? Good one. I'm sure that love bird is going to take you with him."_

"All I know is I want tonight to end already, I'm sweating and it's freezing outside..." You sighed, grabbing your coat and purse. "I'm about to head out to my moms, do you guys need anything for tonight?"

 _"Nah, just bring yourself and my cousin,"_ Rey stated as you nodded.

"Will do-"

_"Oh, and please hold back any urges to screw one another, this is a family event...not some sort of-"_

"I get it, I get it, sheesh...we're not animals," Kneeling down to give Astro a kiss on his head, you made sure you left enough food and water for him before waving goodbye, getting a bark back.

_"You sure? I mean, you two literally fu-"_

"See you!" Hanging up on her, you let out a huff as you stuffed your phone into your purse. You and Ben weren't that bad, you two hadn't had sex in a good three days, wasn't like you guys were a pair of horny dogs or anything.

Although you'd be lying each time you two ended up kissing, you wanted it to lead to more. It isn't like you didn't have a whole lifetime of being with him taken away from you. _Right...and I'm not a nurse._

. . .

"Okay, I think everything is ready!" Your mother cheered as you placed the last tray of food on the table. "As soon as Mr. Solo arrives along with your grandfather, we can dig in."

"Since when were we having dinner with a Solo?" Your brother asked as you rolled your eyes. "Are you talking about Ben Solo?"

"Yes, Ben Solo," You answered for your mom as you had crossed your arms.

"Why is he coming to have dinner with us? Isn't he too busy being a business man and traveling the world like his uncle?" He chuckled as you rolled your eyes.

"The man is decent enough to have the holidays off," You stated as your brother raised his eyebrows, his wife holding onto his arm as she muttered something to him.

"Whatever you say, sis." Hearing a knock on the door, you instantly unfolded your arms.

"I'll get it!" Rushing off, your brother stared at you suspiciously as your mother and father chatted amongst themselves. Opening the door, you nearly squealed at how handsome Ben had looked in the outfit you picked for him. "I told you you'd look great in it," You whispered as Ben smiled.

"I'm sure I look even better with it off," He winked before leaning down and giving your cheek a kiss.

"Tease," Gently shoving him back, you stood to a side and allowed him in. "They're waiting in the dining room, we have another guest joining us tonight..."

"Another?" He questioned as you nodded. "Who?"

"Apparently my grandfather...whom I haven't spoken to since I was like five so I really don't know or remember him that well." Seeing Ben raise his eyebrows, he lifted a hand up.

"Well, if anything, I brought this for you to loosen up with." Grabbing the wine bottle, you smiled.

"I really think we don't need a Rey's engagement party 2.0..." Eyeing the bottle, Ben shrugged. " _Unless_ you enjoy taking care of me?"

"You're not so bad." Sighing, you shut the door as Ben stood there, waiting for you to guide him.

"Ah, Ben Solo!" Your father smiled as the two of you had entered the living room. "Long time no see, young man," Sticking out a hand, Ben grabbed on and shook it.

"Likewise, sir, hope all is well." He nodded his head with a smile as you stood there, feeling your heart pound rather quickly.

"Wow, Leia didn't tell us how much... _taller_ you've gotten." Your mother said in amazement as her eyes trailed up his body, shocked at how much he had grown. "Last time I saw you you were much more shorter..."

"Puberty works wonders," He nodded, grabbing your moms hand and kissing the back of it. "It's lovely to see you again, Mrs.y/l/n." Fighting the urge to smile, your jaw shifted as you looked away. If it didn't irk you how much of a gentlemen Ben was being now--you hated it to the point you loved it.

"Mom, dad, Ben brought this," You smiled, presenting the wine.

"Oh, yes, how lovely! Thank you, Ben," Smiling, your mother grabbed onto the bottle and placed it down. "I'm sure y/n has informed you her grandfather is coming, correct?"

"Yes, not too long ago." Ben nodded as you took in a small breath, standing by his side. "I'm just honored to even be here tonight," He smiled, carefully holding onto your hand behind his back as he gave it a reassuring squeeze, causing your erratic heart beat to calm down the slightest.

"Well, we are glad to have you." Giving Ben a warm smile, your mother turned to your older brother and his wife, "Honey, you remember Ben, yes?"

Taking a seat next to Ben as your brother had set at the end of the table on your other side, he nodded. "Yeah, haven't seen this guy in a while," Your brother smiled, reaching out a hand. "How is it to be so busy that you have no time for anyone?" Shooting your brother a look, you shoved your shoes heel into his foot causing him to shriek.

Narrowing his eyebrows the slightest, Ben chuckled, "Actually, I haven't been so busy lately. I've decided to take some time off seeing as I miss being around my family and friends." Ben smiled, causing your heart to melt as you turned to look at him. "Traveling is really fun, but it doesn't make up for the time lost being around those I love." Blinking, you felt your cheeks heat up as your brother narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Hmm...that's nice of you," He nodded. "Well, I hope that sticks seeing as how you're always way too busy-OW!" Kicking his chin as you kept your focus on Ben, your mother gasped.

"Honey, are you alright?"

"He's probably sitting on that thumbtack we lost from hanging up the thanksgiving decorations," Your father swatted a hand as your mother sighed.

"Anyways, Ben, it's nice to see you again after so long. I'm sure you're a successful man doing what you've been doing." Your mother nodded with a smile.

"Yes, of course, it's an honor to be working for my family's company and helping my uncle with all the international affairs," Ben smiled as you felt yourself smiling too, you loved hearing Ben speak like this even if he was probably lying about most of it.

"How wonderful! Are you engaged to anyone?" Blinking, your attention turned to your mom as your brother snorted.

"Mom?" You spoke through gritted teeth as she laughed.

"I mean, I see no wedding ring so I'm assuming you must be engaged to someone," She grinned as you rolled your eyes, leaning back in your seat.

"How could he be if he's too b-JESUS CHRIST!" Pinching your brothers thigh, your father let out a deep breath.

"Son, are you sure you're not sitting on the damn pin?"

"No, I don't know..." Standing up and glaring at you, your brother acted as if he were lookin for the thumbtack.

"Sorry about him...as I was saying," Your mother continued on as Ben awkwardly laughed.

"No, I'm not engaged or married, at least not yet..." Widening your eyes, you held your breath.

"Is there a lucky someone?" Your mother curiously asked.

"Sort of, we've been talking here and there, I met her not too long ago but we really hit it well and she's beautiful inside and out and I hope it works out." Feeling yourself sink into your chair, your mother pointed a hand over to you.

"Y/n here has been single for a long time-"

" _Mom_..." You rubbed your face.

"But I'm hoping she finds someone, I've heard rumors that she was seen with someone at the hospital!" She whispered over to Ben as your eyes widened, stomach turning. "Apparently they kissed but she hasn't told me a thing...I mean, I've been dying for her to talk to one of those doctors and I'm hoping its him-"

"Mom, please..."

"What? I'm just telling Ben here about-"

"I have ears, I can hear you..."

"Anyways, Ben, about this girl...how did you meet her? Was it love at first sight?" She leaned in as if it were gossip, you slumping your shoulders and dropping your head--this couldn't have gone anymore worse.

"It was accidental, actually, I ran into her and right off the bat we became friends...I think you could say it was love at first sight because the moment my eyes landed on her I was sure I was looking at an _angel_ ," Feeling your heart skip a beat, you took in a quiet deep breath.

"Aw, how beautiful, an angel! Ben, that's so sweet-" Hearing the doorbell ring, your mother stood up, "Ah, that should be my father."

Feeling your heart beating rapidly against your chest, Ben grabbed your hand from under the table, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand as you tried steadying your breathing. "Why would our supposed 'grandfather' come visit us after like twenty years?" Your brother asked.

"I'm not so sure, he's been away for a while after his accident-"

"Accident?" You and your brother asked in unison as your father nodded.

"Yes, a terrible house fire, we're amazed he even survived...severe burn wounds, mainly why he barely visits because of how he feels about his looks," Your father shrugged as you and your brother exchanged looks.

"What about your other grandparents?" Ben asked you.

"Well, my fathers father passed away a while ago, his mother lives out in Florida and doesn't really travel up here much whereas my mothers parents are divorced. Grandma was supposed to come but I'm assuming she heard about her ex-husband coming over and decided not to..." You informed Ben with a sigh. "But that's no biggie, I'm used to it."

Slowly nodding his head, you and Ben got caught up in a conversation with your brothers wife only to be interrupted as your mother spoke up. "Alright everybody, we can finally feast as everyone is here."

"Oh, a full house, how nice." Hearing the eerily familiar voice, you and Ben slowly looked up in synch only for you gag the slightest.

"Honey, are you alright?" Your mother asked as you covered your mouth with your free hand, eyes tearing up.

"M-mhm," You nodded, feeling yourself become queasy as the urge to puke grew strong. "E-excuse me," Standing up and darting off, Ben's head snapped on your direction.

"I-I'll go check on her," He nodded, quickly rushing after you.

Holding your hair back as you had fallen on to your knees and puked your guts out, Ben hurried in and knelt at your side, holding your hair for you as he rubbed your back. "Hey, hey...it's alright, it's okay-"

Shaking your head, you cried out, "No-no! No it's not!" Taking in a deep breath, Ben ripped out some toilet paper for you as you wiped your mouth. "How-how is it okay that Snoke...is my grandfather?!" Gagging again, you vomited more into the toilet. "That man... _terrifies_ me, he killed me! How is this okay, Ben?!"

"Because he can't possibly remember who you are, y/n, no one knows! If Hux doesn't know, Phasma doesn't know, he _can't_ possibly know!" Ben assured as you shook your head.

"I can't do this...I can't go out there and face him, all-all I see is my death over and over again...me dying in your arms, Ben, I can't," You cried, wiping your mouth again.

"I promise you, nothing will happen to you, I am right here...I am by your side, he can't hurt you again. _Never_ again." Looking at him as you wiped your tears, you flushed the toilet and fell into his chest as Ben wrapped his arms around you. "Like you said, nothing can come between us. Not even Snoke."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHHHH SHIT


	20. XX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...but I started putting two and two together and realized you were t h a t girl!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate to say that this story has about like four parts left n i'm sad because I'm a sucker for Ben Solo and romance and ugh...I'm gonna go die

As much as ditching the dinner seemed like a whole lot better idea than actually sitting there across from your so-called grandfather--aka the man who killed you in your past life--you found yourself sitting in silence. The desire to eat was long gone so you didn't eat much, tossing around the food on your plate as you lied your cheek onto the palm of your hand as the other poke the mashed potato rather than eating it. Ben could feel the hostility, although your parents had been having casual conversations with your 'grandfather' as your brother and his wife kept to themselves, you were the only one who seemed completely on edge.

Placing a reassuring hand on your thigh, you smiled slightly, already wanting to just leave and go to Ben's parents place rather than stay for another minute. "So, y/n, it's been a very long time since I have seen you." Feeling your heart skip a beat, your eyes slowly shifted to Snoke--you couldn't find it in yourself to call him your grandfather--that was a false identity, it _must've_ been. 

"Yep," You popped the p, finding no interest in the conversation, the desire to gag coming on with every second you looked at the man. 

"Y/n..." Your mother hummed, causing you to look over at her and arch an eyebrow. "Your grandfather wants to catch up with you..."

"It isn't my fault he missed out on twenty years of my life," You shrugged, Ben giving your thigh a slight squeeze as if you should keep calm. "Sorry, I mean, it's a shame my own grandfather missed out on his granddaughters life." Giving Snoke a fake smile, he took in a deep breath.

"I guess I deserve that..." Rolling your eyes, you turned your attention back to the food. "I don't think I was introduced to this young man..." Snoke nudged his head over to Ben, "After all, the second I came in you two ran off." Hearing his chuckle only made you grit your teeth, you weren't up for any of this right now.

"This is the son of my good friend, Leia," Your mother spoke up, "Do you remember her?'

"Leia?" Rubbing his chin, he slowly nodded, "Ah, yes, the business woman and her husband, Han...those two" Taking in a deep breath, you felt Ben's hand tighten around your thigh even more as if he were the one about to snap. "So you must be...Ben Solo?" 

Gulping, you looked over to Ben as he simply nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Might I ask as to why he is here?" Narrowing your eyebrows, your head lifted up from your hand as your mother cleared her throat, speaking up before you can.

"We hadn't seen him in a while and I thought it would be nice to invite the young man over," She smiled as you glared at Snoke. You weren't sure what was up with him or why he felt the need to focus on Ben now, but you weren't liking it and neither was Ben.

"For thanksgiving? Wouldn't you have done that some other time?" Lightly snarling, you clenched tightly around the plastic fork in your grip.

Awkwardly laughing, your mother shook her head. "No, I mean, thanksgiving is meant to be shared with friends and family and Ben is the son of a good friend and a friend of y/n's-"

"You two are friends?" Snokes attention turned to you as you tilted your head the slightest. "Since when?"

"Why would you care?" You nearly snapped. "It isn't like you've been there form me my whole life-"

"Y/n..." Your father called out as you kept your focus on Snoke.

"I thought the same-" Kicking your brother under the chair rather harshly, he grunted.

"Well, at least they're not a couple," Stuffing his mouth with some food, you felt yourself growing far more irritated, "I'm sure he wouldn't have time for you-"

Lightly gasping, your mother spoke up. " _Father_ -"

"He is right here next to me, he can _hear_ you." You spoke through clenched teeth as Ben let go of your thigh, not wanting to squeeze it anymore as he feared he was going to bruise you skin.

"I mean no trouble, I am just saying he is a very busy man...I'm even amazed he's here tonight," Snoke lightly shrugged as your brother stifled a laugh.

"I thought the exact-" Kicking his shin so hard that he almost teared up, your brother shrieked, lifting his leg up and clutching it. "Fuck, y/n!"

"No one is asking for your useless opinion!" You nearly shouted, feeling the fork snap in your grip and piercing your skin. Standing up rather harshly, you let down the broken fork and eyed the fresh cut. "If you will excuse me, I've lost my appetite." Walking over to the kitchen, Ben shifted his jaw the slightest as he tightened his jaw.

"Thank you for the dinner, but I have to head over to my parents," He spoke up, standing up and pushing the chair in.

"Ben-" Your mother called out as he walked over to the kitchen to get you. "Was that really necessary?" She scolded your brother and Snoke.

Fighting back tears as you rinsed the blood that wouldn't stop oozing out, you leaned your forearms against the sink, bending forward and lying your forehead against them as the water flowed. "I think we should go..." Ben softly spoke, walking over to you and gently placing a hand on your back.

"I knew it, I knew tonight would be absolute shit," You muttered, Ben turning off the water and grabbing your hand.

"Where do you keep your first aid?" He questioned, you pointing over to the pantry as he tugged you over. "Look, none of it was your fault, alright?" Pulling out the kit and grabbing an alcohol wipe, he gently patted at the cut, then wrapped gauze around it. "It isn't your fault your brother is an ass and Snoke has no limitation." Taking in a deep breath, you nodded. "Let's just go to my parents, I'm sure the atmosphere will be a lot less hostile than this." Placing the stuff back, you slightly smiled at him.

"Alright..." Rubbing the small tears that wanted to spill away, you pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry about all that...my family isn't always that bad..."

Smiling, Ben wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head, lying his chin on top of it. "Don't apologize, babe, at least that's over with." Chuckling into his chest, you looked up at him.

"We're not expecting any surprise guests at your house, right?" You questioned as Ben tilted his head as if he were thinking.

"Hmm...I'm not so sure?" Swatting his chest, he chuckled. "The only guest that'll be a sort of surprise is Chewie-"

"Chewie!" You squealed, "Oh I can't wait to meet him." Letting go of Ben, you went to grab your purse that had sat on the corner of the kitchen counter. "Now I'm excited."

"Well, good, because I told your parents I'm heading over to mine." Watching you walk back over, you grabbed his hand. "What are you do-"

"We're leaving, aren't we? I have to make some sort of exit," Shrugging with a small laugh, Ben sighed as you tugged him along, out of the kitchen and past the dining table.

"Where are you-"

"To Ben's parents, you know, a less hostile environment," You smiled over to your mom as she simply blinked, feeling guilty about the whole situation. "I'll see you two later," You directed your words to your parents, only to turn to Snoke, "And as for you, I'll be waiting another twenty years to see you again." Giving him a fake smile, you didn't even bother saying anything to your brother, pulling Ben along as he waved goodbye to your parents.

"That wasn't harsh..." Ben stated as you grabbed your coat and tugged it on, opening the door and walking out. 

"Well, no one can get away by being rude to my boyfriend," Locking the door of your parents home, Ben blushed the slightest at your statement, "Especially the asshole who separated us. I can't believe he had the audacity to say those things." Shaking your head, Ben wrapped an arm around your shoulders as he pulled you closer to him.

"Seems as if he's going to have a big problem on his hands now seeing as we are dating," Ben smirked, placing a kiss on your cheek. "I guess he's just going to have to deal with it.

. . .

Eyeing the gauze around your palm, you looked over to Ben and frowned, "I'm gonna have to go back and pick up my car..." 

Turning to face you, Ben shrugged, "We'll get it later on our way back, it isn't like you have to go in and see Snoke again."

"I guess..." Shifting your attention outside the window, you nearly jumped. "Where are we that there are so many big houses?!" Gazing at the row of what must've seemed like mansions pass you by, you felt your jaw drop. "Don't tell me your parent's live in one of these?" You nearly whispered, looking out the window like a little kid who's seen snow for the very first time.

Chuckling, Ben turned into one of the driveways as your eyes widened. "No, we just broke into a house on thanksgiving and decided to call it our own." Snapping your head over to him, you pinched his arm, causing him to laugh as he rubbed it.

"Ben I didn't think you were serious when we were tree shopping, I didn't expect them to live in a house-" Looking out the window and pointing at it, you exclaimed, "That big!"

Parking the car and turning it off, Ben turned to face you before getting out of the car. "Honestly, this shouldn't be much of a shock to you when I live on a whole floor." 

Nodding your head as you sat there, you watched as Ben walked around the car and opened your door. "Okay, true..." Rolling his eyes, Ben grabbed your hand and tugged you out of the car. "Can we have our wedding here?" You joked as Ben smiled.

"I'm sure my mom would love that..." Interlocking his fingers with your own as he walked you over to the front door, the two of you came to a stop on the porch. "Alright, first things first, my family is very blunt...and I'm sure you know this, so don't be surprised if they say anything about me to you." Ben sighed, now holding onto your shoulders.

"What do you mean?" Before Ben could answer, the door swung open as the sight of Leia came into your view, a big grin on her lips.

"Y/n! I'm so glad you came this is like Ben bringing his girlfriend home for the first time!" Growing wide eyed as your cheeks heated up, Ben leaned over to you the slightest.

"That's what I mean." Standing back up straight, he pulled his mom into a hug as he kissed her cheek, "Hey, mom." Smiling as she wrapped her arms around him, Leia tightly held onto him, causing Ben to grunt. "Jeez, it isn't like you haven't seen me in a while-"

"I don't care, I am happy to see you, Benny-"

"Mom...really?" Ben whined as he had let go of her, Leia chuckling.

"What, you don't think y/n would find that cute?" She teased, pulling you into a hug. "Ben hates that nickname but I still call him that, you should, too," She whispered to you as Ben rolled his eyes.

"I can _still_ hear you." Crossing his arms, Leia turned to face him as she swatted a hand.

"Come on, let's get inside, everyones waiting," She cheered as she walked in, Ben looking over to you as you stifled a laugh, walking ahead of him.

"Yeah, _Benny_."

"Aw, come on!" He cried out, throwing his hands in the air as he followed you behind.

Trying your best not to gawk at the interior of the home, you were instantly tackled into a hug, making your heart shoot out of your chest as you had been startled. "Finally, you're here! I've been so excited!" Hearing the familiar voice, you tried hugging Rey back but her own arms restrained yours.

"Hello to you, too, Rey..." You chuckled, seeing Finn walk over. "Finn!" You nearly squealed, Rey letting go of you and frowning.

"Wow, not even excited to see your own best friend, harsh," Crossing her arms, you rolled your eyes.

"Go say hi to your cousin," Shoving her, you rushed over to Finn and hugged him. "I haven't seen you since Friday, that is so sad!" Hearing Finn laugh, he hugged you back.

"It's good to see you, y/n." Patting your head, you shoved Finn's hand away as the two of you let go from the hug, getting engrossed into a conversation as Rey flicked Ben's nose.

"Ow, what the hell was that for?!" He exclaimed, rubbing his nose as Rey crossed her arms.

"For not announcing that you two are a thing yet!" She loudly whispered as Ben instantly covered her mouth. 

"Shh! We can't, I don't need us to get attacked for moving too fast!" Ben exclaimed as Rey pulled his hand away.

"It isn't like you're going to ask her to marry you!" Rey rolled her eyes as Ben stood quiet. "Right? You're not gonna be stupid enough to take her hand even though you two have only known each other for a week and dated for like five days..." Rey nervously chuckled as Ben still stood quiet, causing her to smack his arm. "Ben! You're stealing my spotlight!"

Shaking his head, he covered her mouth again. "Hush, you."

Removing his hand, Rey whispered, "Okay, but...you're not actually going to be engaged with her, right?" Sticking his hands into the pockets of his slacks, Rey gasped, "No way! No way!" She shrieked, clapping her hands as Ben narrowed his eyes.

"Aren't you supposed to be against the idea of us being engaged?" He whispered as Rey instantly dropped her smile.

"Yes! Hello, it's totally wrong and can not happen...at least not yet. You two are not like Khloe Kardashian or anything, you can't just get married so soon!" Narrowing his eyebrows, Ben only looked at Rey with a confused expression. "I mean wow that would be cute and exciting and all but no, no it's too soon and you can't just do that," She spoke with her hands, "But man if that isn't just perfect!"

Leaning forward, Ben flicked Rey's nose, "Can you make up your mind? Are you for or against the idea?"

"For! No, against!" Shaking his head, Ben sighed. "Totally and one hundred percent against the idea of you two being engaged and then happily married so soon."

"You're giving me a headache."

Looking over to see Rey placing her hands on her hips as Ben rubbed his forehead, you only smiled at the sight as Luke and Han suddenly caught your attention. "Look who's finally here!" Han smiled. "Ben's date for the night!" Raising your eyebrows at his statement, Han laughed as he patted your shoulder, Luke shaking his head.

"Don't embarrass the girl like that, Han..." Luke crossed his arms as Han wrapped an arm around your shoulder and patted your head.

"Embarrass her? More like Ben since he has the biggest crush on her," He laughed, causing you to fight a grin as Luke covered his face. "Now, I'm not sure how long Ben's has had a crush on you because I was well aware he hadn't known you existed until last friday, but I started putting two and two together and realized you were _that_ girl!"

"That girl?" You questioned, eyebrows knitting.

"Yeah!" Han laughed, "The girl Ben was talking about to Leia, I always dismissed the situation because I gave up on Ben's love life but when I saw how things went down on Friday, it made me realize that he was serious and that you were the one!"

"Han, I think that's enough," Grabbing your hand, Luke pulled you away from Han as he guided you to the dining table, "Leia left some food aside for you, apparently you didn't eat at your parents?" Narrowing your eyebrows, you looked up at Luke.

"How did you..." Seeing him laugh, he swatted a hand.

"Sorry, Ben had texted her in advance saying that you were hungry and that to save some food for you. Leia was quick to do so, she almost made all of us stop serving ourselves," Luke stated as you blushed.

"Oh, well...I'm sorry about that..." You nervously rubbed the back of your neck as Luke pulled back a seat for you.

"It's not problem, anything for Ben's crush," He teased, causing you to blush even more as everyone else joined in, Ben sitting next to you and serving himself. 

"You told your mom I was hungry?" You whispered over to him as he smiled at you.

"Yeah, you didn't eat so I assumed you were hungry," Ben simply shrugged as you felt a grin growing on your face, cheeks hurting from how hard you were trying to fight it. 

Leaning over and kissing his cheek, you turned to your food, "Thank you." In a matter of seconds there was a sudden wave of silence, everyone staring at you and Ben, the two of you looking over your shoulders as they all grinned, "Uh..."

"That was so cute," Leia spoke up.

"O-Oh it was because he had told you to save me some food so I thanked him..." You silently swallowed as you felt your face burning. "And thank you, as well!" You exclaimed, feeling your heart race, almost forgetting they were behind you as you had kissed his cheek.

"Anything for you, my dear!" Leia nodded, only to turn around as she shooed everyone away, wanting the two of you to be alone.

"Did she just-"

"Yes..." Ben smiled, turning his head back ahead as he continued to serve himself. "I told you they were blunt." Feeling your heart skip a beat, you thought back to what Han had said, wanting to tell Ben but also wanting to save him from embarrassment. 

"Insanely blunt..." You said, focusing back on your food.

For the rest of the hour the two of you had found yourselves in multiple conversations, sometimes too distracted to eat or laughing too much and not wanting to choke. The entire time this had been going down, everyone but Finn and Han had been watching the two of you from behind a wall--Finn unaware of the situation whereas Han was told to stay back as he had a big mouth. It was safe to say that you could feel them staring, and at first it made you nervous, but eventually you got used to it and appreciated it more than your families chaos.

"So, how is your vacation going?" Leia asked as all seven of you now sat on the couches in the formal living room, you next to Ben on the love seat.

Looking over at Rey for a moment as she smirked at you, you took in a deep breath. "It's going great, very...relaxing and entertaining." You nodded, Rey looking at you with a cheeky grin as if she wanted you to admit to your whereabouts. "Spending it with my dog, Astro...and that's about it."

"Really?" Rey spoke up, causing you to gulp. "Because rumor has it you were caught at the hospital..." Narrowing your eyes at her, you felt your heart sink, Ben furrowing his eyebrows as he looked at Rey. "Rumor also has it you were ki-"

"I took y/n to MoMA, mom! She absolutely loved it," Ben instantly interjected, Leia's head turning in Ben's direction as you kept on glaring at Rey.

"Really?" Leia smiled, "Oh, that's lovely! We should take her the next time we go, I would love to take you around the museum, y/n!" Slowly turning your attention to Leia, you smiled and nodded.

"If you ask me, I think that was a date," Han spoke up, causing Leia to knock her knee against his. "What? That's real smooth of Ben, it's about damn time he did something, he hasn't been on a date in so long-"

"Where's Chewie?" Ben cleared his throat, now looking around the area as his face burned. "Y/n wanted to meet Chewie, I think we should go find and meet Chewie!" Before you could even answer, Ben grabbed your hand and dragged you with him."

Watching you two rush away, Leia glared at Rey, then at Han. "That was not a part of the plan, you two."

"Wait, what plan?" Finn asked.

"At least Luke knows how to be discreet about the situation," Shaking her head, Leia stood up.

"Aw, come on honey-" Lifting a hand up, Leia walked away.

"Good job, Han," Rey smirked, high-fiving him.

Looking back and forth, Finn narrowed his eyebrows. "What is going on?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'*


	21. XXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This is so exciting!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates will be slow seeing as I'm back in school and won't have much time to do it quite often + TR has about four parts left until it's completed! Thank you all for enjoying the Soul Mate/True Romance series, you all are lovely <3
> 
> *you can also find me on tumblr under the username 'kyloholic'*

"Chewie, Chewie? Where are you, boy?" Walking alongside Ben as you continuously gawked at the interior decor of the home surrounding you, you nearly collided with his back as he came to a stop. Turning around and seeing Ben crouch down, he spoke up "There you are, buddy!" Looking over his shoulder, your eyes widened at the site of the german shepherd lying down in front of him, rolling on his back as Ben rubbed Chewie's belly. "I've got someone who really wants to meet you," Hearing a bark, you smiled, walking over and crouching next to Ben.

"Hi, boy!" You smiled as the dog instantly sat up and rushed over to you, tackling you down as he licked away at your face. "Well, someone already loves me!" Laughing, as you pet Chewie, Ben smiled at the sight. "Do you think he remembers?"

"Remembers?" Ben snorted, "Chewies a _dog_ now, I don't think a dog would remember their past life as a _Wookiee_..." Shaking his head as you rolled your eyes, you gently pushed the dog off of you as you sat on your knees.

"Ben sucks, right?" Hearing the dog bark, you laughed before looking at Ben, "Glad he agrees."

"Oh, shush, he loves me." Rolling his eyes, Ben patted his thigh, "C'mon, Chewie!" Seeing the dog look at him, Chewie then turned his attention back to you as he nuzzled his nose against your hand, you snickering as you pet his head. "Not cool, Chewie..."

"Like I said, Ben sucks," Smirking, you continuously messed with the dog as Ben had stood up, "That reminds me, tomorrow is my last day off and I was wondering if you wanted to do something?"

"Like what?" He asked, leaning his back against the wall as he watched you play with Chewie.

"Not sure...you did say you'd take me to a theme park..." Looking up at Ben with a childish grin, he sighed.

"That is true, we can do that-"

"Yay!" You shrieked, instantly jumping up as Chewie had moved back. "It's going to be so fun!"

Playfully rolling his eyes, Ben smiled as he crossed his arms, "You're such a child."

"Shh..." Grabbing his hand as you had unfolded his arms, you tugged him along with you, "Come on, let's go back, we've been gone for a bit." Sighing, Ben walked along as Chewie followed, not wanting to see his family after the whole fiasco.

"Ah, look who's back!" Rey exclaimed, "And they brought company!" Rushing over to Chewie, Rey sat on her knees and grinned.

"So...is anyone going to tell me the plan-" Being elbowed in the stomach by Han as Finn whispered, the young man grunted the slightest.

"They are right there, knucklehead," Han whispered back.

"So-rry, sheesh," Finn threw his hands up as you and Ben walked back over to the love seat, only for Chewie to rush over and nearly trip you in the process of sitting down, jumping on the couch as you had accidentally fell back and sat on Ben's lap.

Feeling your cheeks heat up as Ben had instantly clutched onto your waist, everyones attention snapped over to the two of you, only for you to grow more red as Leia walked in. "O-oh my god!" She shrieked, "How cute, Ben allowed y/n to sit on him!" Blinking as your eyebrows narrowed in confusion, Ben shut his eyes in embarrassment as his hold around your waist grew tighter.

"S-sorry, Chewie tripped me and I-I fell on Ben," you stuttered as you felt your heart flutter in your chest, Ben instantly standing up with you as he sat you down on his spot of the couch.

"You can sit there, I'll...I'll go sit-"

"You can sit right _here_ ," Han smiled before standing up, Ben nervously laughing as he took his seat. "So you can sit next to your girlfriend-"

"Dad!" Ben snapped as Han fought a grin.

"You know what I mean! Friend that's a girl, duh!" He swatted a hand before walking off as Ben sunk into his seat. They couldn't have made it anymore obvious.

"Leave him alone, Han," Leia warned before turning her attention back to you, "Seems as if Chewie really loves you," Leia smiled as Chewie had lied his head on your lap, you now petting him.

"That's perfect, we wouldn't have to worry about Chewie snapping at Ben's girlfriend," Han snickered as Leia and Ben snapped a look over, "He always hated your past girlfriends...just as much as I did-"

"Han!" Leia snapped.

"Dad..." Rubbing his face, Ben took in a deep breath as Leia grabbed Han's shirt and dragged him out of the formal living room, leaving you there with a confused Finn and a quiet Luke, whereas Rey was fighting a laugh. "This must be a far more worse dinner..."

Looking over at Ben, you shook your head. "N-no, it's fine!" Looking down at the time on your phone you let out a sigh, "It's getting pretty late and I still have to pick up my car-"

"We should leave then!" Ben instantly shot up from his seat as your eyebrows raised.

"Aw, come on, we never get to see y/n!" Rey whined as she stood up. "You should stay the night!" Looking at Rey with a confused expression as Ben rapidly shook his head and mouthed a 'no', Rey only smirked. "There's enough room...well, Finn and I are staying in one and my dad is in another...so you and Ben can share his room!"  Rey nodded eagerly as you turned to Ben, seeing him swiftly move his hand to the back of his head as he awkwardly rubbed it.

"Uh...I have no clothes-"

"That's fine! You can borrow something from Ben!" Growing wide eyed as you shot your head over to Rey, she chuckled, "I'm joking! You can borrow something from me! In the morning you can have breakfast-"

"In the morning nothing, we're not staying-"

"You two totally should stay!" Luke chipped in with a grin as Rey nodded.

" _Luke_..." Ben called out in a warning tone.

"T-tomorrow is my last day off and I was thinking of-"

"Spending it with Ben?" Rey asked as your heart sunk, "That's no biggie! Just leave in the morning and you two can spend the whole day together!"

Taking in a deep breath as Ben glared at Rey, you turned to face him. "I-I guess...I guess it's up to Ben?"

Groaning, he shoved his hands into his hair, tugging on the waves before letting out a breath, "We're leaving first thing in the morning," He pointed a finger as Rey clapped.

"Perfect!" She smiled, Ben rolling his eyes as he instantly grabbed your hand.

"I bet you're tired, I'll show you to my room and Rey can give you something to _wear_ ," He spoke through gritted teeth as he had walked you away, then looking over at Rey as her smile dropped.

"Uh, yeah! Be right back!" Rushing over to Ben's side as the three of you went up the staircase and into the hall, Ben shoved you into his room and pulled Rey in with him.

"What the hell are you doing?! I thought you were going to keep this a secret!" Ben pointed a finger as Rey crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"I realized that your parents love y/n and it wouldn't be a big deal if they had-"

"No! No, they can not find out! You got it! They can _not_ know!" Ben pointed a finger between you and himself, "They can't know about us!"

"Oh, Ben, relax! If they do, they wouldn't care, they adore you two!" Rey threw her hands up. "Clearly Han does," She mumbled as Ben rolled his eyes.

"You're not making this any better..." Plopping onto his bed as you stood there with a small frown, Ben wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you onto his lap, resting his forehead against your shoulder. "Y/n doesn't want them to know yet, she's been freaking out about this whole thing."

Lightly gulping, you nodded as you looked at Rey, only to see her frown. "I'm sorry..."

"It's fine..." You sighed. "I just...why does it feel like everyone--except for Finn--knows?" Seeing Reys eyes widen for a mere second, she simply shrugged.

"Maybe it's because..." Looking over at Ben as he had looked up at her with wide eyes, she instantly turned around and rush out the door, "What? Finns calling me! See you!"

Blinking, you turned to face Ben and could see his cheeks burning red, "Ben...what was that?"

"Uh, nothing! Nothing!" He chuckled, feeling his heart pound rapidly as you stood up and crossed your arms.

"Ben Lando Solo, why did your cousin do that?" Arching an eyebrow, Ben looked everywhere else but at you.

"I don't know? What I do know is that you're tired and you should go to bed!" Standing up, he sat you on the bed as he was about to walk out, only for you to get up and grab his arm before pulling him back.

"Ben!" Looking up at him as you tugged him closer, he lifted his hands up in defense.

"Alright! Fine!" Ben sighed, "I may or may not have been one hundred percent truthful-"

"W-what?!"

"Wait!" He exclaimed. "So...lets just say our little accident of when we first met _wasn't_ an accident..." Scratching the back of his neck as he stared at the ground instead of looking at you, you narrowed your eyebrows.

"What...do you...mean?"

Carefully pushing you over to the bed and sitting you down, Ben took a small step back. "I...well, I knew about you for a while, actually-"

"WHAT?!"

"Ever since I remembered, I kinda followed you around-"

"You stalked me?!" You shrieked with knitted eyebrows.

"N-no! No, well...it may seem like it but I didn't! I was very busy but when I wasn't I always ended up in the same places as you-"

"How?!"

"Well, for starters, I do own the coffee shop...and my mom is one of the head owners of the Resistance hospital so..." He rubbed the back of his neck as you had crossed your arms. "And...my uncle kinda...owns the loft building you live in-"

"You knew where I lived?!"

"No! Rey mentioned you a bunch of times and had conversations with Luke about the building!" Ben shook his hands.

"Rey never told me this?"

"Well, that I don't know why...but, I did see you a lot at the hospital and coffee shop and a few other places but I promise I wasn't stalking you it was sheer coincidence!" Ben nodded as your eyes squinted.

"Then why would you say you followed me? Ben, that sounds creepy!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean for it to come out that way!" He whined. "Look, I just wanted to make sure you were okay and doing fine without me! Well, that is if you had remembered which clearly you hadn't but you were fine! And I was happy to see you!" Letting out a sigh, you rubbed your face. "I...I didn't intend on telling you because of this exact reason...but my family is so damn obvious it's hard to keep it from you."

"So...you liked me? And they knew?" You questioned.

"Of course I liked you! I _loved_ you! Wow, that sounds worse-"

"Ben..."

"Sorry, but they knew because I was kind of obvious about my crush on my cousins best friend..." Ben lowered his head.

"Who knows about your crush?" You asked as Ben sighed.

"Everyone but Finn..." He muttered.

"Ev-everyone? Including Poe and his gang?" You asked with wide eyes.

"Well...I think so-"

"You _think_?!"

"I-I don't know! Because he crushes on you as well and I'm a good friend of his and-and it's terrible to like the same person! If he does then he's good at handling it and if he doesn't then he's just pretty damn oblivious to the fact!" Ben paced.

"Oh god...so you're telling me there is a chance he _does_ know? Then that means Jess must know as well!" You stood up. "This is wonderful..."

"I'm sorry, okay? It was hard to hide my feelings for you especially when I still loved you..." Bens voice lowered as you sighed, grabbing his hand and pulling him into a hug.

"It's fine...I just, I wish you would've told me sooner..." You breathed.

"I just didn't expect them to go overboard about it all," Ben took in a deep breath as you had tiptoed to lie your chin on his shoulder, only for your eyebrows to knit as you had let go and walked over to his closet.

"What...is that?" You asked, seeing what looked like a blond wig sitting on a rack in the back of his closet.

"What is what?" Turning around, he watched as you walked into his closet and over to the end.

" _That_?" You pointed to the wig as bens eyes widened.

"Uh...I don't know...why that's there?" He lied as you looked down to see Resistance hospital security uniform.

"Ben? Why do you have this?" Pushing the other clothes away from it, your eyes widened as you read the name tag. "You! It was you!" You swiftly turned around and pointed a finger. "You were that security weirdo that would always walk by the infirmary that made me call the _real_ security on!"

"I-I have no idea-"

Turning around, you found a familiar hat sitting on one of the shelves, "And you were that hippie guy trying to talk to me about the book!" Grabbing the hat, Ben rushed over and snatched it away.

"I-I can explain everything!" He nervously shouted.

"Ben..." Rubbing your forehead, you looked up at him and rolled your eyes, "Why did you do all that and not approach me like a normal human being would?"

"I was really nervous, okay? When it came to you I didn't want to screw up but with all those disguises I had and somehow made a mess and clearly creeped you out which was not my intention and I...I am just terrible when it came to interacting with someone I felt so much for. In all honestly, I wasn't like this with my past girlfriends." Looking down at you with a sorry expression, you only shook your head.

"I wish you had taken a _different_ approach instead of having false identities...now that I think about it, you were that fake dad that came in not knowing his own childs name, weren't you?" You pointed a finger as Ben nodded as he covered his face.

"Yes..." He mumbled into his hands.

"Did you even know the baby?" Your eyebrows knitted.

"It was actually the daughter of my co-worker...he had told me how she had to stay in a few days and showed me photos and told me her name and I kinda went a little overboard and used the baby to get to you..." Feeling your jaw drop, your eyes squinted, "Hence, why I was weirdly looking at the babies because, for the life of me, I couldn't remember her name."

"Oh my lord..." Walking past him and out of the closet, Ben threw his hands in the air.

"I clearly didn't know how to handle the situation, alright! I had never met you, which is weird since you're my cousins best friend, and I couldn't just go up to you and be like 'hey, I love you can we be friends?' That would be really weird!" Following you out, Ben watched as you sat on his bed.

"And acting as different people wasn't?" You arched an eyebrow as Ben sighed.

"I said I was sorry...I know I went overboard and I know it was insanely creepy...but I did it because I couldn't see or talk to you any other way." Ben breathed as you gave him a small smile. 

Although it was strange for him to go to a certain extent to talk to you, at least he had done it with no harm intended. "You are...forgiven, I guess..." You let out a breath, only for Ben to tackle you onto the bed in a hug as he smiled from ear to ear. "Just, please, get rid of the disguises...it's creeping me out."

"I will, I will," Kissing your cheek, Ben held tightly onto you, only for Rey to walk in.

"Oh, god! Ben, you're killing her!" Placing the clothes she was going to lend you on top of Ben's dresser, she pinched Ben's butt, causing him to jump up.

"Ow, what the hell!" He spoke in a high pitched tone as Rey placed her hands onto her hips. 

"You animal, you almost crushed her poor body!" She exclaimed as you slowly stood u, "I thought I'd bring your PJ's but it seems as if you were about to go butt naked to bed after having s-"

"Rey!" You and Ben chimed.

"He was just hugging me, okay?" You sighed, walking over to the dresser and grabbing the clothes, "You're not gonna walk into us doing it, alright?"

"If you would have the decency to _knock_ then you wouldn't see such things," Ben spoke down to her as you had aimed for Ben's bathroom.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever...see you two love birds in the morning," She swatted a hand before walking out.

"Dammit," You hissed, turning around and facing Ben as his eyebrows narrowed, "Phasma invited us to her art expo happening tonight and I totally forgot."

"Tonight?" Ben questioned as you nodded. "Like, now? It's already half past ten," He said, looking down at his watch.

"Yeah, but I promised her I'd go with you," You whined, "Please! It's being held in central park and I really want to see her work!"

"My parents are gonna think we're leaving," He crossed his arms as you pouted.

"We could sneak out?" You shrugged.

"Sneak out? What are we, sixteen?" Ben rolled his eyes as you nudged him.

"Come on, we can take the subway if anything! They won't know we were gone! Just lock your door and we sneak out the window," You pointed over to his balcony doors as Ben sighed. "Please! It'll be fun and adventurous!"

"Sneaking out? While we're in this?" He pointed to the attire you two had been in.

"Mhm!" Nodding eagerly, you smiled up at him.

"Y/n, I'm not about to go out there in a suit-"

"Please!" You begged, clutching your own hands as you had lied Rey's pajamas on the bed. "Please, please! We've never snuck out before!"

Letting out a deep sigh, he nodded, "Fine...fine..."

"Yay!" Clapping your hands, Ben instantly held onto them and shushed you. "Sorry..."

"Let's just hurry up, alright?" Grabbing his wallet and sticking into his pocket, he aimed for his balcony. "You better hope no one notices this," He looked over his shoulder as you followed, nodding your head.

Walking over to the balcony as Ben had climbed over the railings, you nearly squealed. "This is so exciting!"


	22. XXII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I love you...and I'm in love with you..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw this has only 3 chapters left and i wanna die bc the soul mate series would be done wow...

"This is so not exciting..." You muttered as you stood closely to Ben, bodies dripping from head to two in rain water as you shivered from the cool breeze that was passing through the subway cart. The moment the two of you had stepped foot on to the grassy ground, everything seemed to be fine, but the second you two walked away from the front yard and onto the sidewalk, Mother Nature laughed in your face.

"And you wanted us to sneak out and take the subway..." Ben sighed as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, rubbing your arm as you shivered against him. "Now we're soaked, you're freezing, and we keep getting weird looks."

"Okay, the latter is of no importance to me, alright? We've been soaked before, this is no big deal," Swatting a hand, Ben only shook his head. "Although I do hope Phasma's doing alright..."

"I'm sure they were smart enough to check the weather and at least get a tent of some sort," Ben stated as he held onto one of the bars above him.

"I wonder what her arts like, she seems to be the active kind and has dozens upon dozens of artworks. I can only imagine how talented she is," You smiled up at Ben as he shrugged, letting go of the bar to push some of his soaked hair back.

"I guess we'll see when we get there," Nodding his head with a small breath, the two of you stood there, trembling like chihuahuas.

The second the subway had made it to the designated stop, you basically dragged Ben out and rushed up the steps. It was enough that you were late as it is, Ben couldn't seem to understand as to why you were in such a hurry (especially when it was still pouring out.)

"C'mom, Ben! Let's go! I don't want her to be gone when we get there!" You rushed, waving your hand for him to pick up the pace.

"What's the point in running when we are already late as it is? Plus, it's pouring and I'm freezing and I can barely see anything ten feet down-"

"Oh, hush, stop exaggerating! We'll be there in no time, a little rain won't hurt no-AH!" Nearly losing your balance and falling forward, Ben instantly caught on to you with wide eyes, your ankle almost twisting in an unnatural way. "Oh man! No!" Whining, you pulled off your shoe to see the heel broken. "These were my favorites..." You pouted as you watched the broken heel dangle there.

Taking in a deep breath, Ben let go of your hand and instantly picked you up in his arms. "I'll buy you another pair."

Holding onto your shoe as you were instantly pressed against his chest, you wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he rushed off. "Ben, I'm capable of walking-"

"Not with a broken heel, you'll be limping. Plus, I'm not about to let you walk barefoot on the streets." He blatantly stated as you simply shrugged. "And, yes, a little rain _can_ hurt somebody..." Ben spoke in a slightly harsh tone as he directed his words to you, your head sinking into his shoulders in shame.

"Sorry..." You frowned.

"It's fine, as long as you're okay," He lightly smiled as he continued on, aiming for the park as you practically bounced in his arms. "Although this is a good work out since I haven't done anything for a week now-" Smacking his chest, Ben laughed. "Oh, shush, I'm probably going to have to carry you around often, quite soon."

Furrowing your eyebrows, you perked up and looked at him. "Uh...why?"

Not giving you a response, Ben just kept his focus ahead with a smirk playing on his lips, you only narrowing your eyes even more--what did he mean?

"Ben...what do you mean 'often, quite soon'? Am I going to like get severely injured and you had a precognition or something? I'm not pregnant, am I?!" You exclaimed as Ben laughed.

"First of all, I don't have the Force to foresee things, second of all, how would _I_ know _you_ were pregnant?" He chuckled as you simply blinked, unsure as to why you even questioned the latter.

"Uh...I honestly don't know..." You muttered as Ben snickered. "But that still doesn't answer my question! Why do you need to carry me often, quite soon? Hello?!" Snapping your fingers, Ben ignored you as he walked on, you grunting in annoyance. "You really suck."

"I could literally make you walk with one broken heel right now, or barefoot, you choose-" Acting as if he was going to drop you, you clutched onto him for dear life.

"You're not funny, Solo..." Your heart pounded as he carried on with a smirk. "Why say something and not explain what you mean?! It's quite irritating, you know!"

"We're here," Ben came to a stop as you looked over, "Seems as if they _do_ have a tent...smart people."

"Ah...at least that's a plus."

Walking the two of you over and into the tent, Ben put you down as you removed the other heel, walking barefoot around the tent as you eyed the small gallery surrounding you, a few people here and there passing you by and giving you strange looks for your attire. "Y/n? Ben?" Looking over, you saw Phasma and smiled with a wave. "Aw man, the rain got you?"

"Yeah, sadly...someone's bright idea to walk to a subway station rather than take a car..." Ben eyed you as you rolled your eyes.

"Look, not my problem your family wanted me to stay the night last minute, not like I knew we would have to sn-" Covering your mouth, Ben chuckled.

"She talks too much for her own good," He smiled as you gasped, smacking his hand away as Phasma looked back and forth between the two of you in confusion.

"Well, as long as you two made it here safe is all that matters...I actually have towels if you need them? It's promoting my art," She winked, guiding you two over to a table, "Alrhough they're to sell, you two really need them and I don't want to take money from either of you. You're giving me a gallery-"

Clearing his throat, Ben spoke up, "Part-"

" _Part_ of the gallery!" She corrected, handing you two towels as you dried yourselves as much as you could. "Anyways, I will gladly show you around! Seems as if we have a little under half an hour till closing, not many people are here at the moment, it seems fair enough." She nodded as you smiled up at her.

Following Phasma around as she gladly shared her pieces with you and Ben with such enthusiasm in her tone, you couldn't help but wonder if Phasma was like this at some point in her past life. She was so lovely and giddy, very open and social...not stern and hostile, although the Phasma you do speak to wasn't so bad...but Finn clearly did not like her for a reason.

"Don't mind me, I tried abstract expressionism on a few of my works and wasn't so fond of the outcome...but this one right here called to me!" Tilting your head multiple times as you tried making a sense out of it, Ben stood there with his arms crossed as he nodded.

"It's well done." Blinking, you looked up at Ben, then back at the artwork, then back at Ben and so forth.

"But..." Eyeing the piece, you squinted your eyes, "It's just colors splattered onto the canvas?"

"Exactly!" Phasma exclaimed, causing you to jump. "It brings in the emotions with each movement that was used to produce such splatter!" Smiling down at you, Phasma pointed to the painting, "Tell me, y/n, what do you feel when you look at it?"

Leaning closer as you eyed the splatter, you raised your eyebrows, only to furrow them. "I...I feel...excitement-"

"Perfect!"

"Is-is that what I'm supposed to feel?" You asked as you looked at Ben who simply shrugged then back at Phasma who grinned.

"Art makes you feel however it is that it does, there is no right or wrong...you, my dear y/n, can feel what ever it is your heart desires." She winked before moving on to the next piece.

The entire time she showed you around, Ben was able to get the message Phasma had been getting across in each of her artworks--except for you, you hadn't had a lick of sense as to what was going on, but you found yourself loving each and every one of her pieces more and more.

"Last but not least...this is my ultimate favorite painting, I've been working on it for years until last Thursday when I finally finished it! I could never feel as if it was finished, nor did I like the outcome each time I had assumed it was...but now, now I feel as if I have somewhat perfected it." Eyeing the rather large piece, one of the biggest in the gallery, Phasma stood with her hands on her hips. "Forbidden love..." She nodded as her eyes became glossy. "Oh, I'm emotional, this one gets to me so badly..."

Taking a few steps closer to the art piece as Ben stayed behind, watching you go up as he stood there with his hands deep into his pockets, you blinked at the sight. You weren't sure what it was--or how it was even doing it--but you felt completely moved.

It was simple, the colors and the central figures, you couldn't really cut out as to what they were doing (at least, you assumed they were pressed up against something that was in between the two) but you actually had gotten an idea as to what was being portrayed. "Wow..." You breathed, eyes wide as they were fixed on the piece. "This is beautiful..."

"I know..." Holding onto her chest, Phasma whispered, "I _know_."

Feeling your eyes tear up, you took a step back before you were about to find yourself flat out crying. "What ever you did, it worked." Brushing away the few tears that were about to spill, Ben gently pulled you back and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

"True artists get the viewers emotions running wild," Phasma winked. "But, thank you, it means a lot to know I have made you--as the kids say-- _emo_." Chuckling, you nodded as you took in a deep breath.

What you hadn't noticed was that Ben had felt the exact same way towards the painting, except, he was sneaky at hiding his emotions...exactly why he had seemed so emotionless. "Thank you for having us." Ben finally spoke up as Phasma's head turned to him, a warm smile on her lips as she simply nodded.

"It is my pleasure, you two seem like wonderful people and I am lucky to have run into you," She bowed her head as you smiled at her. Was Phasma secretly this kind in her past life? Or did she have a reboot--something that Hux needed.

"And I'm so excited to see you working in the gallery!" You squealed as Phasma's eyebrows raised. "I mean...to see how you work and you know...art..." You muttered, awkwardly scratching the back of your head as Phasma laughed.

"I'm sure you will see me quite often there starting Monday...or Sunday...who knows! I'm excited to start right now!"

"Ah...I don't think so-"

Elbowing Ben, you rolled your eyes, "She's joking."

"I knew that..."

"Anyways, thank you for coming, really...it means a lot! Especially since you almost cried over one of my paintings!"

"I told you, it's beaut-"

"No, not you y/n...I mean Ben, since I met him I thought he only had like one emotion but now that I see that he does get touched and moved by my pieces and understands them well, it means a lot," She nodded as your eyes widened the slightest, slowly turning your head to Ben.

"You almost cried-"

"Uh...no?" Ben lied, you swatting his chest as he sighed. "Maybe...I won't lie, she's talented."

"Then I guess you won't regret having her around," You winked as Ben shook his head.

Looking at her wristwatch, Phasma sighed. "Ah...I guess it's half past eleven, and I have to get all this cleaned up before midnight. I will see you two very soon!" Pulling the two of you into a hug, Bens eyes widened as you chuckled. "Thank you, again, for coming! And happy thanksgiving!" Waving goodbye as she walked off, you waved back.

"That wasn't so bad!" You turned to Ben with a grin. "Except for the fact that you were about to cry and I didn't know!" Poking his chest, Ben rolled his eyes.

"Okay, okay, so what? I almost cried? Art does that!" He threw his hands up as your eyes narrowed.

"Yes, it does, but not you! The entire time you looked so dull...I couldn't understand as to how you even understood the art so well!"

Shrugging, he turned on his heel and walked off. "Neither do I."

Standing there and blinking with your jaw hanging loose, you quickly followed after. "Hey! Wait! My shoes!" Rushing after him, you nearly ran into his back as he had came to a complete stop. "What is it?" Looking over as he pointed, you saw nothing but downpour. "You've got to be kidding me...we just dried up! Well, somewhat!"

"From here to the subway is a good ten to fifteen minute walk...depending on the surrounding people and what not." Ben stated as you sighed.

"I'm not gonna make you carry me this entire time," You stated, "I might as well go barefoot-"

About to toss your shoes into the trash bin next to you, Ben shrieked, "What are you doing?!"

"Tossing them? The heels broken and these shoes are honestly overused, I might as well," Dumping them, Ben sighed. "What? I am not going to hop around! I might as well be barefoot!"

"I'm not letting you walk barefoot out there-"

"Too late!" Rushing out, Ben chased after you.

"Ah, come on! You're going to be stepping on dirt and mud and grass...aren't you grossed out?!" He exclaimed as you darted, holding the towel over your head although you were still getting soaked.

"Yeah! But if this is what it takes then so be it!" Continuously running, you nearly jumped out of your skin as you heard the thunder roar in the sky. "That's not okay!"

Finally catching up to you, Ben grabbed your hand and took you under shelter. "You need to be more careful than to just run out there!" He exclaimed as his chest heaved.

"I'm sorry...but I'm not gonna wait all night in a tent!" Taking in a deep breath as your heart had been racing from the multiple rounds of thunder, you leaned your forehead against bens chest. "This has been the worst thanksgiving ever...the only good thing was spending it with you and Phasma's little art gallery." Holding onto his shirt as Ben slightly frowned, he wrapped his arms around you.

"I'm sorry...I really wanted this day to end up well for you," He sighed, resting his chin upon your head. The both of you had been shivering--you more violently--as you stood under the small shelter, Ben's body heat warming you up the slightest. You were freezing from head to toe, hair drenched in rain water along with clothing as your dress stuck to your skin, and now your bare feet felt like icicles and you were sure they were about to snap into multiple pieces.

"I just wanna go home..." You let out a breath as you mumbled against him, "I feel gross and disgusting and I probably look like a witch now...my hairs all frizzy and my feet are all dirty and today was such a bad day and I-" Rubbing your face as you felt yourself becoming worked up, you took a small step back, "and I'm sorry for how shitty my family is and the fact that Snoke is my grandfather...and I'm sorry I made your family dinner uncomfortable with all their teasing because I'm sure if I wasn't there they wouldn't have done this to you! And I'm sorry that I made you get soaked with the rain and I'm-"

"Y/n..." Ben cut you off as you wailed out.

"I'm sorry that I'm such a m-" Looking up from your hands, your stomach turned as your heart skipped a beat, eyes growing wide. "B-Ben..." You choked, looking down at him as you blinked away tears.

"I love you...and I'm _in_ love with you...and I'm sure I will forever be in love with you until however many lives we have. And-and I want to make this right...this time around because, for all we know, we won't have a tomorrow, or another life. And we're here, sharing these moments together again like a second chance and I don't ever want to screw this up or lose it...I've already learned the first time, I don't need a second." Taking in a deep breath, Ben gulped. "I-I know this is too early, at least for everyone else but us two...but I-I can't wait any longer, I want to be yours forever and...and I want you to be mine...for as long as we breathe."

Feeling yourself tremble, your wide eyes watched as Ben pulled out his wallet and opened it, digging into it. "I know this is really tacky but, I couldn't wait another day...plus, I can't just carry around a small square box because it would be obvious." Chuckling as he looked up at you while he stuck out his hand, Ben gave you a heart warming smile. "I don't care if our families have issues or if we've only 'known each other for a week' and it seems 'very wrong' but I don't give a damn. I really don't. Let people say what they want to say, all I know is that I love you and _only_ you." Taking in a deep breath as Ben looked you straight in the eyes, his once tense body loosened up.

"Will you marry me?" Ben gulped as you stood there.

There was a long pause, silence weaving between the two of you as the downpour echoed throughout. Your heart was pounding against your chest and vibrating in your ears as you just stared down at him. Without a doubt you were in shock, you didn't expect such thing to happen so suddenly--let alone--at all.

All your life you assumed you'd be single at this age, living alone with a pet and working. Of course, you had achieved that goal so the moment you checked it off, you knew for sure you were going to grow on alone with no significant other or children (if you decided to have any). But the second your eyes landed on Ben sitting on one knee, your whole world flipped in seconds. Your sad dreams of being alone and sharing your home with just Astro were gone, the fact that you would have someone to come home to and call your own made your heart flutter...let alone, the idea that it was someone who loved you as much as Ben had loved you.

"I knew I shouldn't have asked, it was too early and I-"

"Yes."

"I wasn't thinking clearly, I went straight to the jeweler the second you left this morn-wait...what?" Ben blinked as you gave him a wide grin, tears streaming down your cheeks once again--except out of pure joy.

"Yes! Yes, I'll marry you! Yes, please!" You nodded eagerly as Ben shook his head while shutting his eyes, unsure if he had heard you right.

"You...you said yes?" Slowly nodding your head, Bens smile slowly grew on his face. "YOU SAID YES!" He shrieked as he fumbled to put the ring on you, only to instantly stand up and lift you up into a hug. "You said yes...oh my god..." He whispered as you smiled, holding tightly on to him as you then kissed his cheek.

"Of course I would say yes," Leaning back as you held onto his cheeks, you gave him a sweet smile, "I love you..." Pulling him into a kiss, your arms wrapped around his neck as he kissed you back. "And I'm _in_ love with you."


	23. XXIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe you can paint me like one of your French girls..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay now that this has two chapters left I’m gonna try and lengthen it out a bit bc I don’t want it to end and I really love this series and :’( but anyways, sorry this took so long…but here it is! Enjoy, my bb’s ♡

Gazing at the engagement ring that sat on your finger as Ben carried you back to the subway station, you couldn't help but smile at the sight--let alone--think about marrying him. You had never felt so excited for something as common as marriage, most of the time you assumed it wasn't going to happen or it was going to happen later on in your life, not now at the age of twenty-five. "So you got the ring today?" You asked as you lied your head against bens shoulder.

"Mhm, the second you left was the second I went." Ben stated as he kept his focus ahead, his long strides getting the two of you farther quicker as the rain had luckily calmed down.

"What made you want to ask me today, out of all days?" You curiously asked as Ben had finally made it to the subway station.

"Uh...well...seeing as we _finally_ are together after so long and because you remembered and-" Cutting himself off, you furrowed your eyebrows.

"And?"

"And...I wanted this to happen the second we 'ran away' in our past life but, you know, you passed away..." Feeling your heart skip a beat, you turned your attention from the ring to Ben.

"Really?" You asked, doe-eyed.

Taking in a deep breath, he nodded. "Mhm."

Smiling to yourself, you got a hold of his chin and turned his head to face you, kissing him rather sweetly as he came to a stop. "I would've said yes then."

Hearing your soft whisper, Ben lightly gulped as you had slowly let go of his chin. "Well I'm glad you said yes now." He smiled as you buried your face into his neck, feeling your cheeks heat up at the constant realization that you two were now engaged--something you definitely were going to have to hide...somehow.

Kissing his neck, you grinned, "I love you, Ben."

Lightly tightening his grip on you, Ben let out a small breath as he felt his heart flutter. "I love you, too."

Entering the subway cart and taking a seat, Ben pulled you onto his lap as he wrapped his arms around you, trying to warm up your shivering frame as you had found yourself falling asleep against him. The entire ride was peaceful, the sound of the train moving being the only noise as your surroundings were nearly barren.

It was so tranquil and so soothing, the fact that it was only you two and (possibly a handful of others) made it better. Ben couldn't help but find himself sitting there with a smile as he held onto you. It felt as if his dreams had come true; here you were, asleep against his chest and wearing the engagement ring he bought you. It felt so surreal and so perfect--at least to Ben. If there was something he always wanted, it would be this.

Feeling himself dozing in and out, he snapped out of it as he realized they had made it to the stop you two needed to get out on. Not wanting to wake you up, Ben carefully picked you up as he stood up and made his way to the doors.

"You are a lovely young man." The old woman sitting near the door smiled as Ben gave her a small one back. "You two take care!"

"Thank you and likewise," Ben nodded before exiting.

Walking up the steps, you lightly groaned as you felt yourself waking up. "Are we already there?" You mumbled as Ben shook his head.

"No, just left the subway." He smiled down at you as you nodded. "You should go back to sleep."

"I can't..." You sighed.

Frowning the slightest, Ben's eyebrows knitted. "Why not?"

"Because, you're not still and warming me up." You frowned as Bens cheeks grew a light shade of red.

"When we get back to my parents place I'll warm you up all you want." He nodded as you smirked.

Snuggling your head up against his chest once again, you smiled. "Good, I'm in the mood to cuddle."

. . .

"How..." Looking up at the balcony, you  placed your hands on your hips. "How are we supposed to get back up there?"

"This was _your_ bright idea," Ben crossed his arms as he looked over at you.

"You don't have like a key lying around so we can sneak in through the front?" You asked as Ben sighed.

"No, but I know a way how to open the side door." Grabbing your hand, Ben tugged you over.

"What do you mean you know how to-" Seeing Ben come to a stop as he messed with the doors knob, it instantly popped open as your eyebrow arched. "Did you sneak out often?"

"As a kid? Yes. Only because I would be grounded for doing something stupid and wanted to hang with my friends." He shrugged as he quietly pushed the door open, gesturing for you to walk in first. "Keep quiet, dad tends to stay up late."

Walking in, you could see Han sitting in the living room watching tv. Feeling yourself wanting to gasp as he was about to turn, Ben rushed over and instantly covered your mouth, pushing you against a wall. "I told you to be quiet..." He whispered.

"I didn't think he would hear us!" You whispered back.

"Shh..." Placing a finger on his lips, Ben  grabbed your hand again and quietly pulled you along, over and up the staircase and into his bedroom.

"That wasn't so bad!" You smiled as Ben shook his head.

"Yeah, if I hadn't shut you up." Shutting and locking the bedroom door, you shook your head.

"Oh, hush, your dad was about to look at me, okay!" You threw your hands up as be started undressing himself.

"Yeah, whatever, are you going to shower first?" He asked, peeling off his pants after kicking off his shoes.

"Ah...right..." Yawning, you stretched. "I'm so exhausted that I almost forgot we were soaked from the rain." Grabbing Reys pajamas, you went over to the bathroom. "I may fall asleep in the shower and slip..."

"Don't fall asleep then," Ben shrugged as you rolled your eyes.

"Seriously? I could slip and badly injure myself and you would be so sad!" You pouted as Ben furrowed his eyebrows.

"Well, you're not, the water will keep you-" Stomping over and grabbing the elastic of his underwear, you tugged him over to the bathroom with you. "Oh..."

"You're terrible at taking hints." Shutting the door behind you and locking it, Ben crossed his arms.

"Aren't you too tired to scr-"

"No! I don't want to fool around, I want us to...share a nice... _bath_..." You muttered as Ben felt a huge grin growing on his face.

"Like a romantic bubble bath?" He wiggled his eyebrows as his hands went for the hem of your dress, slowly lifting it up as you nodded. "Nothing but a romantic bubble bath?"

Lifting your arms in the air as Ben removed your dress, you let out a small breath. "Well, I want you to wash my hair too because you do it so well..."

Tossing your soaking wet dress to a side as he went for the hook of your bra, Ben scoffed. "Of course you do..." Shaking his head, he tugged on the straps before fully removing the bra. "What do I get in return, though?"

Grinning up at him, you tiptoed and held onto the back of his head. "My never ending love for you now that we're engaged," You winked before pulling him into a kiss, Ben backing you up as he placed a hand on your lower back and the other against the wall.

Digging your fingers into your hair, Ben deepened the kiss as he pulled you even closer, your bare chests bumping into each other. Lowering your hands onto his back, Bens hands clutched onto your waist as he instantly lifted you up, sitting you on the sinks counter top while he began leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and along your shoulder.

"Ben..." You moaned, "We can't do this now..." You mumbled as your eyes fluttered close, Bens hair tickling you as he pressed soft kisses along your exposed skin.

"It's just kissing," He muttered against your skin, moving over to your chest and pressing more and more kisses. "Nothing more, babe."

Smiling, your hands went back into his hair and gently tugged at it as you felt chills running down your spine. "Come on...lets take a bath." Lifting his head up by his chin as you two were now eye to eye, Ben frowned. "Look you can love my body all you want later, it isn't like we're not living together." Grinning at him as you wiggled your fingers in front of him to present the engagement ring, he grabbed your hand and kissed each and every finger.

"Oh trust me," Letting go of your hand and holding onto your cheeks, Ben winked, "I will be loving your body plenty once we're back home." Leaving a quick kiss against your lips, Ben crouched down to grab something from the cabinet as you sat there, flustered.  "Ah good, still here."

Watching Ben stand up, your eyebrows knitted. "Spider-Man bubble bath? Ben, how old is that?" Your nose scrunched up as Ben looked for the date.

"Fairly new, actually, expires next year." He nodded with a smile as you tilted your head the slightest.

"May I ask as to why you have that here in your old bedroom in your parents house?" You questioned as you hopped off the counter while Ben went to set up the tub.

"No, you can not." Rolling your eyes, you gently kicked Bens leg as you stood there and crossed your arms.

"Should I be surprised if there's like a rubber ducky and other floating toys?" You jokingly asked as Ben pulled out the yellow toy, turning around and squeezing it with a laugh. "You have got to be kidding me..."

"Come on, sweetheart, you know you love it." Squeezing the toy, you snatched it from his hold and walked around him, slipping off your underwear and getting into the rather deep tub. "I knew it."

"Hush you," Filling the duck with water, you squeezed it up to Ben, wetting his underwear. "C'mon, get in."

"I look like I wet myself, thank you." He said, looking down at the wet spot as you chuckled, wetting his underwear even more as you squeezed the toy once again. "Alright, alright! I'm coming..."

Sinking yourself into the tub as the bubbles began to grow higher and higher, the water level increasingly raised as Ben sit in front of you. "Jeez, might as well push the water out."

"Oh, be quiet, it isn't my fault I'm big."

" _Very_ big," You winked as Ben choked.

"Now isn't the time for that, babe." Ben leaned forward, " _We can't do this now_ ," He mocked as you rolled your eyes, splashing his face.

"Leave me be, jerk." You crossed your arms.

"So that's how it's going to be?" He nodded, instantly moving to your side as he grabbed onto you, bringing you down with him.

"Ben!" You shrieked, trying to pry him off of you as you pressed your palms against his chest. "Stop it! Get off!" Laughing, you tried your hardest to stay above the surface but Ben had the upper hand. "Be-"

Pulling you under the water, you continuously thrashed around, trying to shove him off of you as he wrapped his arms around you. Hearing nothing but the water splash around as you continuously kicked and shoved, Ben pulled you back up and attacked your face with kisses. "I love you!"

"I hate you," You mumbled, moving your head from side to side, trying to avoid the kisses. "Let me go!"

"Never." Holding tightly, you grunted, giving up as Ben continued on peppering your skin with dozens of kisses. "I love you."

Sighing, you muttered, "I guess I love you, too..."

Smiling down at you, he kissed your nose before sitting up, moving back to his side as you leaned back against your own. "You're so fun to mess with."

Rolling your eyes, you tossed the ducky at him. "You suck." Sticking out your tongue, Ben grabbed your ankles and pulled you closer. "Ugh, Ben!" Pressing your hands against his chest, his own lied on your hips.

"I may suck, but you're the one who said yes to my proposal," He winked as you sighed. "We _both_ suck now."

"No," Shaking your head, your mouth was in a thin line, " _You_ suck, not me."

"Sure thing, sweetie." Leaning forward, Ben pressed a hard kiss against your cheek, you trying to push away. "Why don't you just let me love you?"

Letting out a deep breath, your shoulders slumped. "Fine...I suppose it's fair since we're _engaged_."

Smiling like a complete dork, Ben cheered as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug. "See, now, wasn't that easy?"

"Shush," Laying your head against his chest, you pressed a small kiss against his collar bone.

"Can't, don't want you falling asleep on me." He shook his head as you looked up and narrowed your eyes.

"I can't since you haven't cleaned my hair!" You crossed your arms as Ben rolled his eyes.

"Why should I? You weren't letting me love you." He turned his head as your shoulders slumped.

Sitting up, you grabbed his face and kissed him multiple times. "I love you! Okay! I love love love you so much!" You nodded with a grin as Ben rolled his eyes again. "Greatest boyfriend-- _fiancé_ \--on the planet!"

"All...because you...want me...to...wash your...hair." He said in between kisses as you nodded. "Unbelievable."

"You know I love you, Ben, so quit it." Pinching his nose, you turned your whole body around so your back faced him.

"Can't believe you're only marrying me because I wash your hair good, this is so sad." Spreading the shampoo on to his palms as you sat there, eagerly waiting, Ben began massaging your head.

The entire time he had been washing your hair, you were falling in and out of sleep, only to completely knock out the second he was applying the conditioner.

"She actually fell asleep..." Shaking his head, he sighed as he left you lying against his chest as he washed his own hair.

You must've been completely out of it to not feel a single movement as Ben had decided it was time to get out, not wanting to wake you up as he pulled you out, dried and changed you. Deciding not to put his own cousins pj's on you, Ben (instead) put his own old  
t-shirt on you, drying your hair enough before lying you on his bed. He almost felt like you were his child.

"You're so lucky I love you," Ben whispered as he lied next to you, all cuddled up, pressing a good night kiss against your forehead before knocking out.

. . .

Hearing a knock on the door, you completely ignored it, burying your face into Bens chest as you had found yourself lying against it, one of bens arms wrapped around you as your leg intertwined with his own. Hearing the knock again, you groaned, fluttering your eyes open to the sight of a completely unconscious Ben. Smiling, you carefully sat up, looking down at your hand and seeing the engagement ring as butterflies filled your stomach--it felt so surreal.

Hearing the knock once more, you sighed and stood up, realizing you weren't in Rey's pajamas but one of Ben's shirts. Since when did you put that on? And when exactly did you get out of the tub? Putting two and two together, you blushed as you looked over at Ben, realizing he had taken you out of the tub to dry and dress you. "You're too good to me, Solo." You shook your head before going to the door.

"Y/n, it's me!" Rey called out.

"Give me a second..." Looking around the room, you grabbed your purse and pulled off the engagement ring to put it in there, rushing back to the door and opening it. "Hey-"

"What is that?" She pointed at the shirt you were in.

"One of Ben's old v-necks," You swatted a hand as Rey arched an eyebrow.

"I gave you nice clean clothes and this is what you wear?" She gasped.

"The underwear came in handy!" You nodded, only to think about the fact that Ben had to put underwear on you.

"Why are you all red?" Rey scrunched up her nose. "Don't tell me you and Ben-"

"No! No no, nothing happened last night, we were completely exhausted and just knocked out...okay?" You nodded.

"You better have."

Shaking your head, you rubbed your face, "What time is it, anyways?"

"Half past seven-"

"Half past seven?! Do you not know how to sleep in?!" You shrieked, only to hear Ben groan as you looked over to see him shifting around.

"No, I like being productive, okay? Leia and dad are gonna make breakfast so if you guys want we can save you some unless you're gonna leave as soon as you wake up again...cause knowing you, you're going back to bed-"

"You bet your early ass I am. I'm super tired-" You yawned as Rey shrugged.

"Fine, just...do you want the breakfast or not?" She crossed her arms.

"Sure."

"Alright, sleepy head, go back to bed." Swatting a hand, Rey closed the door for you as you had waved a goodbye. Darting back to your purse, you pulled out the ring and slid it back on, quietly squealing to yourself as you loved the way it looked on you.

"So beautiful," You smiled at the ring, only to turn around and go back to bed, crawling under the sheets and cuddling up against Ben. "I love you," You kissed his nose as he lightly snored. "You and your baby snores." Lying your head against his chest, you knocked out once again.

For the rest of the morning, you and Ben were in deep sleep, completely exhausted from the day before and taking advantage of your last day of your 'vacation'. Slowly waking up, Ben smiled as he watched you lying there, gazing at the ring. "You really love it, don't you?"

"Mhm..." You grinned. "It's so beautiful..."

"Thank you, I know, I have great taste in engagement rings." Ben gloated as you swatted his chest.

"Shut up," You chuckled. "I think we should get going, I still need to get my car from my parents."

"Right..." Ben nodded. "Well I guess we can leave n-"

"No, not right now!" You instantly sat up. "First of all, we need to change and since our clothes are soaked we need new outfits...and lucky for you, you lived here whereas I have-"

"I'll lend you something again, I'm sure I have stuff from elementary school still in-"

"Ben! I am not _that_ small." You glared at him.

"Fine, middle-"

"Stop that!"

Laughing, Ben sat up, "What? I'll give you like old gym sweats and like a sweater! No big deal..." Standing up, Ben went for his closet as you sat there.

"So how was it getting me out of the tub?" You curiously asked as Ben was deep into his closet, trying to find you something.

"It was...interesting. A bit tricky, but interesting."

"I bet it was, especially since you had to dry and dress me." You smirked as Ben let out a shaky breath.

"Listen, it isn't like I've never seen you naked before, okay?! It was no big d-"

"But you've never had to _dress_ me--let alone--decided to put me in _your_ shirt." You grinned as Ben sighed.

"Okay, I just love you in my clothing, sue me."

Standing up, you walked over to him. "Well I think I look good in it too," You winked as you smacked his butt, causing him to jump. "Come on, hurry up, Rey saved us breakfast."

"Breakfast?" Ben turned around as he held the change of clothes. "I thought you wanted to leave?"

"I do, but I am hungry...so..." Waving your hands for him to hand you the clothing, you slid on the rather small (at least for Ben's size) sweatpants, tucking in the shirt you had slept in and pulling the hoodie over. "How old is all of this?"

"Over fifteen years-"

"Ben!" You shot a look at him as he changed.

"What?! It's the only thing that would actually fit you!" He shook his head as you sat back on his bed. "Look, we eat, we get your car, and then we go back to your place and you'll have all your cl-"

"ASTRO!" You shouted, "Oh, he must be hungry by now. I left him a lot of food yesterday but it's already ten in the m-"

"It'll be fine, we'll be there in no time." Ben nodded as he walked over to you and kissed the top of your head. "By the way, you're gonna have to hide that," He pointed to the ring as you frowned.

. . .

"Now, you be sure you come back very soon, especially with Ben!" Leia smiled as she had pulled you into a goodbye hug. "I mean, you can just visit on your own, that would be just as lovely!" Pushing back, Leia nodded her head as you chuckled.

"I will try my best," You gave her smile.

"Maybe then we can eat breakfast in _peace_ without being _rushed_ ," Ben directed his words towards you as you shook your head.

Swatting a hand, Leia wrapped her arms around your body, "Let the girl be! She's worried about her dog-" Looking up at you, she continued "-Astro-" Looking back at Ben, he rolled his eyes, "You were just like that with Chewie, you know."

"Ugh, leave me be..." Ben whined as you grinned.

"Anyways, I think we should let the kids be, she's gotta go get her car." Han intervened as he separated Leia from you as she frowned.

"I hope you slept well!" Rey called out as you had walked to Ben's side, taking in a deep breath as you knew she was doing this on purpose. "You, too, Ben!" She smiled with a wave as he sighed.

"We'll see you guys later," Ben grabbed onto your shoulders and practically pushed you over to his car, not wanting to stay any longer.

"They have definitely slept together." Luke spoke up as everyones head turned in his direction, Finn's eyebrows narrowing.

"Now, where would you get that idea from?" Hearing a bunch of sighs and mutters, everyone walked back inside, leaving Finn standing there. "Uh, are you just going to ignore my question?!" Walking back out, Rey tugged Finn in.

"You're not actually going to visit my family again, right?" Ben snickered as the two of you were now on your way back to your parents. "Right?" He looked over at you for a moment as you crossed your arms.

"Why not?" Pulling the engagement ring back out, you slid it back on and gazed at it.

"W-why not? Did...did you and I see a different thanksgiving? Or?" He stuttered as you shrugged. "You can't be serious, you're not really going to-"

"Yes, your family is lovely! Well, minus the teasing, I love your parents--and clearly they love me as well!" You smiled over at him as he had pushed his hand through his hair. "Probably more than you..." You mumbled.

"I heard that..." He snarled. "Fine, if you visit, then I'm taking you."

"Why? So they can tease you again?" You laughed as Ben let out a small whimper. "Are they all aware that you have a cru-"

"Zip it, we are not talking about this." Lifting your hands up defense, you leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms as you sat quietly the rest of the ride.

"I guess no one's home..." You pointed out as Ben had parked his car behind your own. 

"Maybe they're out shopping," Ben pointed out as you gasped the slightest.

"Black Friday! Right! Good thing I'm not into that." Hopping out of the car, you moved to his side of it and leaned against the now open window. "Are you going to meet me at my place or..."

"We can meet up at the art gallery since it's in walking distance and no one will suspect us being there," He shrugged as you nodded with a wide grin. 

"Maybe you can paint me like one of your French girls," You wiggled your eyebrows as you sniggered, Ben shaking his head as he lied his hand on the back of your head and pulled you closer while he leaned out the window, kissing you.

"You're a dork," He muttered against your lips, then kissing you again, "But I'll take that offer any day."

Feeling your cheeks heat up, Ben suddenly fell silent and oddly still, causing you to lean back as his hand slowly moved away from you. "Ben?" Looking at his eyes, you saw how wide they were. "Hey? Babe, are you oka-"

"Y/N?" Hearing the rather low and eerie voice, you gulped, slowly turning around and freezing. "What are you doing?" Trailing his eyes down to your ring, your grandfather's-- _Snoke_ \--facial expressions turned into that of anger. "And what is that?!" 


	24. XXIV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Not when I have someone to come home to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuccin dies bc we have one more chapter left before this series ends n i wanna cry.....thanks a million for reading/enjoying, i love u all :') *small warning, soft smut ahead*

There was a sudden uncomfortable silence, Ben still frozen in the drivers seat of his car as you stood there, staring fearfully while Snoke--your _grandfather_ \--looked as if he was about to commit a murder. Gulping, your hands shook by your side as you couldn't seem to shift your eyes away from his deformed face, whereas Ben feared the man was going to do something drastic. It was clear that you nor Ben were going to say a word; what _were_ you supposed to say?

Watching the man rather swiftly make his way over to you, you could see pure rage in his eyes as he roughly grabbed onto your hand. "Are you willing to explain this? Or would you rather we wait for your mother to return and you explain it to her?" Feeling your breath hitch as you blinked up at him, Ben instantly forced his car door open, rushing out and snatching your hand away from Snoke's hold.

"You have no right to know what goes on in her life, especially when you were missing for majority of it," Ben nearly snapped as he held onto your hand, feeling it vibrate in his own as you were still unable to fathom what was going on.

"I have as much right as you do, may I recall you've only known her for a short period of time, not enough to be _engaged_ with her," Snoke seethed as Ben's blood boiled.

"He's right, you have no right to question what I do with my life," You spoke up. "This is an engagement ring-" Lifting your hand up from Ben's hold, you pointed at the ring, "-and I am _engaged_ to Ben because I _love_ him and want to be _with_ him forever. I don't give a damn what you think, you have no say of what I do in my life." You snapped, every ounce of fear leaving your body.

"And what would your mother, _parents_ , think of this?" He responded as you felt your jaw clench.

"You wanna know what she would think?" You took a step forward, "She would think that I moved too fast and can't be thinking straight, that I'm being foolish and I'm blinded by love, but you wanna know what _I_ think about that?" Narrowing your eyes, you could hear a car rolling up to the driveway, knowing exactly who it was, "I don't give a single damn." Grabbing Ben's face, you instantly pulled him into a kiss as your mother and father gasped from their spot in the car, your brother laughing as your supposed grandfathers jaw dropped. Flipping him off with your ring finger to present the engagement ring, you pushed away from Ben and looked back over at Snoke, "I'm going home."

Walking away from Ben and past Snoke, you got into your car as Ben stood there stunned, looking over at Snoke and simply smiling. "I'm glad to soon be a part of this family." Turning around, Ben got into his car as your mother jumped out of hers, your grandfather shouting profanities as you and Ben drove off.

"Y/N! Y/N!" Your mother called out as you drove off, not wanting to hear her opinion. At least now you know how they were going to find out--in a way you had not expected.

. . .

Barging into your loft, you were greeted by Astro jumping around as you trudged over to fill up his bowls, feeling completely drained--yet, somehow--you felt really good about it all. Although it was over the top, you really just weren't having it from anyone, and you might as well come out and say you were engaged to Ben rather than your so-called grandfather be a snitch.

Looking down at the engagement ring, you smiled the slightest, at least you won't have to hide it from them. But you were still a bit anxious about the whole thing, now that they knew, you knew for a fact they weren't going to leave you alone. Especially with the exit you made.

And just as you called it, your phone went off.

Turning around to grab it from your purse, it was instantly taken away from your hold as you were engulfed in a hug. "Aren't you supposed to meet me at the-"

"I love you so much," Ben mumbled into your neck as one arm wrapped around your waist while his other hand held onto the back of your head, you tiptoeing as you leaned your chin against his shoulder. "So very much."

"Ben, it wasn't a big-"

"I know you were scared about the whole thing and I know that everything we have is 'wrong' and hard to keep as a secret...but that didn't stop you."

"Of course not, I'm not going to let anyone get in the way this time around, it's enough that we had so many obstacles then, I don't need them now." Clutching onto his back, you hugged him tightly.

Pulling back from the hug, Ben clutched onto your cheeks as he pushed a few strands of your hair back. "Don't feel pressured, okay? I know how your family is, don't confront them now, you're too upset to and I don't want you saying anything you'd regret."

Nodding your head, you took in a deep breath, "They'll get over it...right?"

Smiling with a small laugh, Ben leaned down to kiss you as he then pulled you back into the hug. "We just have to worry about my family now...and knowing them, they'll be more than thrilled."

Chuckling, you kissed his cheek before pulling away, "At least they'd be more understanding."

Scoffing, Ben shook his head and went for Astro. "They won't leave us alone about it, they'll be all over us." Crouching down as he played with the dog, you lightly smiled.

"At least they'll be happy for us." Feeling yourself more at ease, you decided to be a bit selfish about the whole situation and put your happiness first rather than your parents opinion. They didn't know what you and Ben had, they wouldn't even _understand_ , and you didn't need them to because it was _your_ love life...not theirs.

Finding yourself showering and changing into your own clothes as Ben decided to walk Astro and leave you be for a bit, you looked around your loft and smiled to yourself seeing things that weren't there before--aside from the Christmas decor--Ben's stuff. The thought of having someone else who loved you live with you that wasn't a dog made your stomach fill with butterflies. You had never been so happy.

Plopping yourself onto your bed, you shoved your face into Ben's pillow, getting a whiff of his scent and smiling to yourself. It was a smell you've grown so accustomed to that hasn't changed even in this new life. The scent brought such euphoria to you each and every time you got a whiff of it, as if you knew happiness was near.

"Well, I didn't think Astro was that hyperactive..." Ben spoke up, walking in and removing the pups leash as Astro ran off to you, jumping on the bed and lying next to you while Ben watched and smiled.

Lifting your head up from the pillow, you smiled over at him, "Sorry...what?"

Shaking his head with a small laugh, Ben walked over and lied beside you and Astro, kissing your head as he laid his own next to yours. "Nothing important." Moving you to rest your head on to his chest, Bens fingers brushed through your hair as you lied there grinning. "Also, may I ask as to why you were sniffing my pillow?"

Feeling your cheeks heat up, you laughed into his chest before moving your hand up to play with the material of his shirt, "You smell good...and I love your smell, it reminds me of..." Mumbling out of embarrassment, you had hoped Ben hadn't heard you, " _home_..."

Smiling to himself, Ben sat up as you fixed yourself to sit on your knees, feeling nervous as if what you had said was overboard. "I remind you of home?" He asked as you instantly gulped, seeing how his facial expression dropped.

"I-uh...I-I mean, I didn't mean it to sound...I was just-" Seeing his eyes water up, your eyebrows knitted, "Are you-are you crying?"

"You said I remind you of home," He smiled down at you, a few tears slipping as you panicked, waving your hands and shaking your head.

"No-no! I didn't mean to make you cry! I-I'm sorry!" You freaked, only to have Ben rest his forehead against your shoulder while his arms wrapped around your waist.

"Don't be sorry," He muttered, sniffling as a few tears trickled down, landing on your thighs, "You don't know how happy that made me to hear that."

Releasing a small sigh as your shoulders slightly slumped from relaxation, you wrapped your arms around him as your fingers got lost in his hair, holding onto him tightly as you kissed the side of his head. "I'm glad it did."

"I don't mean to be so emotional," He muttered, "I just...I'm really happy to have this, especially after all that we went through before to keep it." Releasing a shaky breath, Bens clutch grew tighter. "Till this day I blame myself."

Frowning, you pushed him back as you held onto his cheeks. "What happened, happened. We can't change that. What matters is what we have now, and what we do have now is _this_ ," Lifting up your hand as you wiggled your fingers, Ben laughed as he grabbed onto them and kissed your knuckles. "We've made it this far and we're gonna keep going, alright? I'll make sure of it."

With a nod and a grin, Ben smiled at you before pulling you into a kiss, then nearly shoving you into his chest as he hugged you. The word happy was an understatement for what he was feeling now. "I love you so much."

Smiling, you rested against his chest as you tightened your grip around him the slightest, "I love you, too, Ben."

. . .

"So, actually, after I had bought your ring I had decided to go to a bit of an extreme and do a little something if you had said yes." Ben announced as the two of you walked hand in hand to the art gallery, Ben holding your bag that was filled with your stuff for the stay.

"And I did!" You nodded with a toothy grin.

"And you did...so, I thought it would be fun that, as a way to celebrate...we do something a bit _messy_ ," He winked down at you as your eyebrows knitted.

"Messy? Like what exactly?" You questioned as the two of you came to a stop, Ben unlocking the gallery door and walking in before you as you followed behind. 

"Like this..." Stepping to a side, your eyes widened at all the tarp surrounding the gallery--from the floor to the walls--nothing but the white covering all over as buckets upon buckets of paint were scattered around. "Tada!"

"Oh my god, Ben..." walking around and seeing all the paint, two buckets were filled with balloons that you assumed had paint in them as well. "Are these-"

"Filled with paint? Mhm, I'm telling you, we're going to get _messy_ ," He smirked before walking off to the back room, leaving you standing there with your jaw hanging loose.

"And you didn't want to buy this gallery," You shook your head.

"Now I have good use for it!" Ben exclaimed as you rolled your eyes, turning around and ready to scold him.

"Yeah, okay, cause you're not gonna-" Looking at the white jumpsuit he was in, you arched an eyebrow.

"Unless you wanna get your clothing filled with paint, I suggest you wear this." Tossing the extra jumpsuit at you as it landed on your head, your shoulders dropped along with your expression.

"Rude." Tugging it off, you decided to strip down to be just in your undergarments as you then slid into the jumpsuit. "I love how thought out this was, as if you had planned this _days in advance_..." Your eyebrows wiggled as Bens cheeks began to heat up. 

"No way! That's an insane thought! Who would be so creepy to plan out such thing after having the woman of their dreams say yes to their proposal? Not me!" Ben awkwardly laughed as you had put your clothes to a side and went for one of the balloons filled with paint. "I mean, we've only know each other for a week and dated for like a few days and-"

Tossing the balloon at his chest and cutting him off, you smiled. "Shut up."

"And I'm the rude one!" Grabbing one from his own, he tossed it at you, completely missing as you ducked.

"Haha!" You pointed and laughed, throwing another one at his shoulder.

"Oh, you wanna laugh?" You nodded, "Lets see who's laughing now!" Grabbing two of them, he tossed both back to back, you missing one as the other hit your stomach. "Ha! Ha!"

"Hush, you!" Throwing multiple back and forth at each other, your hair was now dripping with it as Ben's face was covered in the paint, barely any white showing from the jumpsuits as you two continuously tossed at one another.

"Hey! Don't steal mine!" You shoved him as he stole the few you had left.

"Sorry, babe, I ran out!" He laughed as he tossed them at you, you covering your face, only to tackle him and pin him.

Grabbing the bucket filled with blue paint as you sat on Ben, you poured it all over him as he crossed his arms over his face. "Sorry, _babe_ , I ran out!" You mocked as he began shouting profanities. "Sucker!"

Unfolding his arms, Ben instantly flipped you over, causing the bucket to slip from your grip as he straddled you. "Let me share some paint with you then," she smirked, leaning down and kissing you, the paint smearing all over your face as you tried pushing him back, only to cave in as you found yourself kissing back.

"Ben...just because...you think this...is going to stop me...from beating you...you're wrong..." You said in between kisses as your hands now rested on the back of his neck, whereas Ben's kept him balanced above you.

"I think I'm...doing a great job...actually!" He smiled as he kissed you back, resting his forearm beside your head as his free hand unzipped the zipper of your jumpsuit.

"Is that so?" Sitting up as you pushed Ben back, you removed the top half of the jumpsuit from yourself before moving your hands on to Bens cheeks, holding on as you went back for the kiss.

Holding onto your bare waist, Bens paint filled hands began leaving handprints all along your once paint-free skin as they moved all over, from the small of your back up to your breasts and giving them a squeeze, staining your bra. "You know...I'm totally gonna win..." Ben chuckled as you went to unzip his jumpsuit.

"Doubt that," You smirked against his lips, tugging down the sleeves as Ben let go of you for a moment to remove them. "I'm gonna win," Whispering against his lips, you went for a deeper kiss, one that was far more sloppy and involved a lot more tongue.

"By the way this is going," Taking in a breath, Bens fingers got lost in your hair as your own pressed against his bare chest, "Im afraid you are...and I can't have that."

Rolling your eyes, you pushed him back down, "Quit the complaining and prove to me that you can win." Completely moving the jumpsuit and tossing it to a side, Bens eyes widened for a moment, only for him to smile at how dominant you were being.

Rocking your hips against Ben as you began leaving a trail of kisses down his neck, his fingers clutched tightly onto your hips as he screwed his eyes back. "Well, _fuck_."

Smiling against his skin, you left small, soft kisses all the way down his chest and stomach, "You seriously need to take this off already."

Within seconds, Ben sat up and haphazardly removed the jumpsuit, quickly latching onto you and pulling you into a kiss as you moved to sit on him. "Are you _that_ eager to win?" You chuckled as Ben simply nodded, pressing a hand on your lower back, trying to get you as close to him as possible, just to have his lower half rub against you.

"Does that answer your question?" Wrapping his hand on the back of your neck, Ben left a trail of rough kisses along your neck and collar bone, leaving love bites here and there when he had found your soft spots.

"M-hm..." You moaned, shutting your eyes as your eyebrows tightly furrowed, your breathing becoming unsteady from the constant mouth to skin contact and hip jerking.

Moving his hands down to your thighs as he clutched on, your arms wrapped around his neck as your hands clutched fistfuls of his hair with every hickey he left. Squeezing your thighs, his hands glided up the soft skin, only to slid under your underwear, the digit of fingers pressing up against your ass as he tried and tried to get your bodies as close as possibly.

" _Ben_..." You whined with a slight pout as you grew impatient, not wanting to anticipate the moment any longer.

"Shh..." He hushed against your skin as his hands slid back out and onto your thighs, moving up to unhook your bra and tug it off of you, tossing it to a side. "Be patient."

Letting out a shaky breath, Ben left a soft kiss against your bare chest, slowly moving back onto your lips as he lifted his hips the slightest to lower his underwear just enough. Feeling your heart skip a beat as Ben bit your bottom lip, one of his hands moved to your underwear as his fingers tugged it to a side, allowing him to slide in as you let out a small whimper.

Holding onto the back of his head while his hands latched onto your hips as you rocked them, you couldn't even focus on the kissing, causing it to become messy as your closed eyes tightened even more. The sound of yours and Bens sporadic breathing echoed throughout the barren art gallery, your lightly shaken hands grabbing fistfuls of his hair with every buck and thrust of your hips.

You could feel it in your stomach, the way the heat began to pool up within you as you craved to feel more and more. Moving your hands down his back, your nails nearly dug into his skin as you held on for dear life, Ben lightly tugging on your hair with the kiss becoming more disastrous and all over the place; but you couldn't care less. You just wanted to feel him in every way possible.

"Ben...the paint..." You muttered as you took in a breath, Ben panting between breathers, constantly pulling you back in for more.

"It'll...wash off," He nodded the slightest, hands roaming all over your body as he couldn't seem to find a spot to lie them on, loving every inch of you.

Fluttering your eyes open as Ben left kisses along your shoulder, you tried your damnedest to keep them open, bitting your lower lip as your nails grew deeper and deeper into the skin of his back. "This...couldn't have possibly...been a part of the plan." You breathed.

"At all." Lifting his head up as he gently held onto your chin to look you in the eyes, he smirked, "But you did mention we could use the gallery to fool around in," He winked as you let out a small mewl. "And that's exactly how we're using it for the first time." Crashing his lips back against your own, you roughly kissed back with such passion as your heart raced from the thrill and pleasure of it all.

"I'm glad I said yes, then." Grinning, Ben only pushed you down as he took control, causing you to take in a deep breath with how unsteady his thrusting was, making you cry out his name continuously until you were flat out yelling it--just as he wanted.

"Wh-what if Phasma...walks in?" You breathed, clutching onto his back as your eyes fluttered.

"I'm sure...she won't."

Gulping, your grip grew tighter with every jerk of his hips, "Sure? _Ben_..."

"What?" Panting, he pressed a kiss against your neck, "She'll probably...hear you screaming my name...in a _very_ sexual way...and not even bother."

Rolling your eyes as Ben clutched onto your thigh, you let out a shaky sigh, "Is that why...you're being so...unsteady? To make me moan loud enough...for people to hear?"

Smirking, he left another kiss on your neck, "Possibly."

"Jerk-off."

"As tempting as that sounds-" Smacking his shoulder, Ben snickered. "What?"

"Enjoy the moment, will you?"

Lifting his head up to look down at you, he grinned. "Oh, you don't know...how much I am." Winking, he brushed his thumb against your bottom lip before kissing you once again, your hands moving into his hair as you tugged and tugged with every moan you let out.

Either of you tried and tried your hardest to outlast the other, doing things to drive the other wild, "You can't hold it in any longer." You muttered in Bens ear. "You can't stop shaking."

"Shh..." He hushed you as his shaky grip on your hips tightened as you now topped. "I'm...fine."

Smirking, your voice lowered, "Whatever you say, Benny boy." Kissing just under his ear, Ben tightly shut his eyes as he held his breath, only to let out a disgruntled groan as he couldn't hold it in any longer. "I win!"

"That isn't fair..." He groaned as he pulled his underwear back up before leaning his head back, you moving yourself to lie beside him.

"It was _very_ fair, babe." Pressing a kiss against his chest, Ben sighed as he loosely draped his arm around your waist, the other pushing his hair back and away from his face.

"I asked for this by being too cocky, didn't I?" Nodding your head, Ben smiled, pulling you closer to his chest as he kissed the top of your head. "You're going to be freezing soon when the heat wears off, I think we should go shower."

Sitting up, you arched an eyebrow. " _We_?"

"Yeah, save water," He shrugged as you chuckled.

"Smooth one, Solo." Leaning down to give him a quick kiss, you stood up and grabbed your bra, twirling it around your finger as you treaded towards the staircase. "See you in the shower."

Biting his lower lip as he watched you go, he let out a deep breath before standing up, following after you.

. . .

"I don't want today to end..." You lied on the shared bed as ben rested his head against your stomach, fingers lost in his hair as you twirled strands. "I don't want to go back to work just yet." Letting out a sigh, Ben only lifted up his head and gave you a small smile.

"But now you won't have to overwork yourself now that you're engaged." Kissing your stomach, Ben then sat up, "And you've got me as an excuse."

Feeling your cheeks heat up, you smiled at him. "Can you be cheesy and take me to lunch when I start working again tomorrow?"

Nodding his head he then moved to lie next to you as you turned on your side to face him. "I'll even take you and pick you up."

"Even better." You whispered as Ben leaned in to kiss you. "But what about you?"

"What about me?" Leaning back, Bens hand brushed through your hair.

"Won't you be busy now that you're back to work as well?"

Shaking his head, he pressed a small kiss against your nose. "Not when I have someone to come home to." Feeling a big smile grow on your lips, you wrapped your arms around Ben as you pulled him into a hug.

"I love you, Ben."

Taking an a deep breath as Ben had hugged you back, he shut his eyes as he took everything in, "I love you, too."


	25. XXV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Cause we're soulmates."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to get emo…I’m so thankful for you all enjoying this beloved series/storyline, it was one helluva ride and I truly enjoyed writing this for you guys! Especially since this has been my first real multi-chaptered fic/series I have ever posted on here (and the fact that it was so successful still amazes me). It was a great run and I am so so happy to have had so many supporters read the fic, especially to those who have stuck since the beginning of Soul Mate! I am very thrilled to announce that there will be another modern fic comin to life soon but can’t say when exactly that’ll be since school takes up most of my time, but I am v excited to get that story up and running! Thanks a million and I hope you all are just as dead as I am rn. (p.s. there may be an epilogue so keep an eye out!)

Life had turned back to normal the second you had returned back to work--well, not entirely. The simple fact that you now had someone who _willingly_ dropped you off, took you to lunch, and picked you up whenever they could was something out of the ordinary (at least to you). The first day you had returned to work, Ben had walked the two of you from the art gallery to the floor of the Resistance hospital you worked on. There was no surprise that fellow nurses and doctors were going to gasp at the fact that you came back from your week vacation with a rock on your finger, but-- _surprisingly_ \--it hadn't made you the slightest of anxious.

Almost everyday (whether you stayed at his condo, the loft, or the gallery) Ben walked you to and from work. Of course, sometimes he drove you, but he said walking was "much more intimate" and you agreed. It took you a bit to get used to, but after finding yourself no longer having lunch or dinner alone, and not having to wake up in a random spot in your home to no one--rather to Ben--it felt heartwarming and you were absolutely grateful.

Instead of working your twelve hour shifts, it lessened to eight as you found yourself constantly being taken away by Ben, not wanting you to overwork yourself and wanting to spend time with you; and as much as you did love your job, you appreciated it. You'd be lying if you said you weren't the least bit of blessed to have him in your life.

After a week had passed since your engagement, bens family hadn't found out yet about it whereas your mother eased off with the constant voicemails yelling at you. Eventually, she gave up and decided to leave you be as you were a grown woman and could make your own decisions. Plus, your mother was actually happy you ended up with Ben rather than anyone else, at least she knew his parents well enough and thought nothing but good things about him.

Then there was Rey, deciding to visit you during one of your breaks, she was the first in the Solo/Skywalker family to find out. "No way, already?! He actually asked you to marry him?!" Gasping, Reys shocked facial expression suddenly dropped as she let go of your hand. "I knew it."

"H-huh?" Your eyebrows furrowed. "Knew what, exactly?"

"The engagement. Ben kinda told me on Thanksgiving, said he was gonna do it and made it seem like he was joking but I knew well enough that he was _not_. That boy is madly in love with you, and clearly, you are as well with him." She chuckled with a nod. "I'm happy."

"Thanks," You smiled, "So am I."

"I hope so! I told you this was gonna happen soon! I mean, I didn't expect it to be like a week later...but it happened!" She cheered. "Now you can have an engagement party and this time not have it a bar where your best friend can get drunk and meet her best friends cousin and fall in love," Rey teased as you rolled your eyes. "Can't believe that's the story you're going to have to tell your kids some day!"

"Actually...we ran into each other on my way to work. That's how we met," You corrected her. "And we bumped into each other a few times after...he was the _real_ reason why I didn't go to work that Friday...aside from the storm."

Raising her eyebrows, Rey crossed her arms. "I am the least bit of surprised...you must've been the one who used his NASA clothes."

"How did you-...never mind." Taking in a deep breath, you smiled as you looked at the ring. "I'm just really happy...I've never felt such way before, aside when I first got Astro and this job."

"What a dweeb," Rey chuckled before pulling you into a hug. "I'm happy for you, too." Leaning back, she held onto your shoulders. "There's just two _tiny_ little problems."

"And that is?"

"Bens parents--who totally are going to flip because they've been dying for something like this to happen to Ben--and...Poe." Signing, you nodded.

"Bens parents aren't a problem, I'm actually excited to tell them," You smiled, "On the other hand...I don't know about Poe..."

"Well, im sure he'd understand...somehow?" Rey flinched the slightest. "If it comes up, you just tell him straight out-"

"That I fell in love with his best friend in two seconds and got engaged five seconds later? How is that smart?" You crossed your arms.

Slowly backing up, she shrugged. "Don't know, but I'm sure he'll handle it just fine!" Seeing her run off, your eyebrows knitted.

"Rey! What do you-ugh, forget it."

Telling Poe was something you weren't anticipating, but on the other hand, you had hoped and hoped Leia would run into you at the hospital and see it. But the days kept passing and it had yet to happen, so you waited it out, realizing you didn't want to tell her without Ben being by your side.

"I can't believe you're engaged! I mean, I didn't even know you were dating that guy until I saw him that Sunday with the Lucas family!" The nurse that had worked with you exclaimed. "I'm so thrilled, that is so exciting!"

Nodding your head as you were flipping through one of the infants files,  your face scrunched up, rubbing your chest as you felt the slightest of discomfort. "Yeah...so am I." Narrowing your eyebrows, you pressed your hand against your breasts as your eyebrows scrunched up.

"You okay?"

"Huh?" Looking up from the files, you nodded. "Oh, yeah...I think my period is coming..."

"What? Your breasts hurt when your period comes?" The nurse questioned.

"Um...sort of? I haven't really noticed..." Placing the file down, you sighed. "It's been like this for a few days now."

Raising her eyebrows, the nurse tried fighting a grin. "Are you sure it's your period?"

"Yeah? Why else?" You chuckled as she lifted up her hands. "Although I'm a bit late, it's probably a sign that it's coming."

"How late?" She questioned.

"Well, lets see...I think I was supposed to get it last Monday-"

"Oh man," She raised her eyebrows as you narrowed your own.

"What?" Looking over at her, your jaw dropped. "You don't think? No...it can't be-"

"Seeing as you've missed it by a week and it still isn't here, and your breasts are probably sore...it could be-"

"But I don't think it would be-"

"There's a chance that it isn't _that_...but-"

"I think I'm fine, I don't think it is _that_..." You nervously chuckled.  "Although it really could be since...never mind."

Arching an eyebrow, the nurse crossed her arms. "First you're engaged out of the blue, then you have unpro-"

"Whoa, hey! It isn't that bad..." You swatted a hand.

"How many times?"

"What do you-"

"How many times has it been?"

Sighing, you muttered, "About three..."

"You _definitely_ know what I'm thinking," She nodded her head as you pouted the slightest.

"But I-...oh man..." Taking in a deep breath, your stomach turned. "What are the chances, though? I mean-"

"Take the test, it couldn't hurt." She shrugged as you nodded.

"Yeah, yeah...okay!" Feeling yourself slightly panicking, you tried your best to ease your mind off of it. "I'll do it...uh..."

"Go now, I'm sure one of the gynos wouldn't mind giving you a stick." Gulping, you nodded before rushing out, feeling the anticipation eat you alive.

Practically speed walking, you nearly crashed into someone as you turned a corner. "Y/n?" Looking over, your eyes widened the slightest. "What's got you in a h-OH MY!" 

"H-hi, Leia!" You smiled as you swallowed hard, seeing her grab onto your hand and stare at the ring.

"Y/n! Oh, it's so beautiful! But since when were you dating someone?" She looked up at you as your heart raced.

"I-uh...I-it's..." Unable to form words, Leia gawked at the ring.

"Ben...Ben, it's Ben!"

"W-wh...huh?" Your eyebrows furrowed as your heart stopped.

"It has to be Ben, I know it is...I saw the way you two acted around one another," She smirked, "You two were clearly secretly dating-"

"WHAT?!" You shouted, causing a few nurses who walked by to eye you. "Sorry..."

"Oh, it's Ben! It must be Ben! I know you two had something going on...but an engagement? Oh, I am so happy!" Pulling you into a tight hug, you stood there blinking, unable to fathom what had been going on. "My Ben is such a man."

"I...Leia, how did you..."

"Aside from my son having a crush on you?" Blushing, Leia grinned, "Maz and  I are great friends," She muttered with a wink, causing you to gasp. "Anyway! You seem in a hurry, where must you be going?"

"I...uh..." Gulping, you weren't sure what you were supposed to say as your mind drew a blank.

"Unbelievable...unbelievable!" Feeling your heart drop, your eyes widened as your breathing quickened. "So much is going on at once!"

"Wh-what...what do you mean?" You questioned with a nervous laugh.

"Oh, nothing! Nothing! Don't mind me, my... _motherly instincts_ just kicked in," She waved a hand as you looked at her with such confusion. "Don't wanna hold you back from your _important_ business! I'll talk to you later, dear!" Waving a hand, she walked off as you stood there, lost out of your mind only to rush off.

Darting down the halls, you nearly barged into one of the doctors offices, causing the woman to jump from the sudden intrusion. "Hey! Uh, quick thing, a patient was asking me for a pregnancy test...do you by any chance have any?"

"Hello, y/n...and, yes, I have..." Holding onto her chest as she stood up, you followed her over to one of the exam rooms as she pulled out a box for you. "Here you go," She handed the box over, "And, please, don't scare me again like that."

"Sorry, sorry!" Rushing off as you felt your heart race, you tried your best to hide the pregnancy test box as you slid into one of the bathrooms. "Okay...just relax, for all we know you're just late on your period and nothing more." Opening up the package, you gulped. "No need to panic...just pee on the damn stick."

The entire time you had been locked up in the bathroom, your anxiety levels were out of control, let alone, your paranoia. Not only had you been reunited with Ben, but you also recently just got engaged to him, all within a week...how was having a baby a good addition this soon? As much as the thought scared you, what frightened you the most was the thought of Ben not wanting to be a father--something you two never really spoke about except for when he mentioned that you were pregnant when you had passed.

Pacing back and forth as you waited for the results, you bit your tongue as you had become more and more nervous with every step you took. What if you were pregnant? How were you going to tell Ben? How were you going to tell your parents, let alone his own when they [at least not Han] still hadn't known you two were together? Your mind was being bombarded with dozens upon dozens of unanswered questions that you couldn't help but stress over.

Taking in a deep breath, you shut your eyes for a moment, "It's going to be okay...if it's positive, it's positive, if it's negative, it's negative. So be it." Opening your eyes, your heart fluttered against your chest at the sight of two parallel lines. " _Positive_..."

Picking everything up and rushing out, you barged into the nursery and rushed up to the nurse. "So what is it? Are you-" Nodding your head with wide eyes, she gasped only to cheer. "Oh my god!"

"Shhh! I can't have anyone knowing, okay? I-I don't even know how to take this myself? Let alone, how the hell am I supposed to tell _him_?" You loudly whispered. "It wasn't like we planned this!"

"Okay, okay...ease Ben into it? Ask about his thoughts on being a father-"

"What if he's against it?" You crossed your arms.

"Uh...well, make it seem like you think it's a great idea and maybe it'll convince him?"

"Jackie, that isn't helping at all...I can't just be like 'hey, what do you think about us having children? Great, right? Because I'm pregnant!'"

"Perfect!"

Shaking your head, you rubbed your face. "No, it is not perfect! What if he freaks out?! What if he doesn't want the baby?! What if-"

Pointing behind you, you cut yourself off as you followed the direction Jackie has been pointing in. "Oh...oh, lovely." Seeing Ben wave from behind the window, you waved back with a forced grin. "I don't know what to do?!" You snapped your head back over to Jackie.

"Do it in a way you think it's best, if he doesn't want to be a father than there are so many factors you can deal with. But, in my honest opinion, I think he loves you enough to want to have kids with you." She wholeheartedly smiled at you as you nodded.

"Okay...okay, thank you." You breathed, gathering your things. "Thank you, wish me luck!"

"You'll be okay," She softly smiled as you walked out.

Being engulfed in a hug as Ben kissed your cheek, you felt your stomach turn from how nervous you were. "Hey, babe, how was your day?" He asked, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as you walked alongside him.

"It-it was very...interesting," You nodded with a smile. "Yours?"

"Interesting as well..." He nodded, "Speaking of which, before we head home, I need to stop somewhere to pick up something if that's fine with you?"

"Oh, yeah! Totally...where?" You asked as your stomach swarmed with anxious butterflies.

"Maz's, just a few bills and what not, it'll be quick, I promise." Nodding, you smiled at him, trying your best to clam yourself down, not wanting to seem too obvious...even if you probably seemed as if you were hiding something.

. . .

"Now that we've settled, more or less, are you still considering selling the loft?" Ben asked you as you two walked along the busy sidewalk.

"Uh, yeah, it would make much more sense seeing as how small it is...you know," You shrugged, "What if we wanted...more pets? Or more room for, I don't know, guests? I think it'd be smarter to just sell the place instead of your condo." Nodding your head as the two of you now walked hand in hand, you took in small, deep breaths oh so quietly trying to ease your worried soul.

"As long as you're not emotionally invested in the place, then I guess we're good."

"Nope! Plus, I think it's a good idea to move on seeing as my life is taking big changes!" You awkwardly laughed, Ben not noticing how nervous you seemed.

"That is very true, plus, I think you like my bed too much to want to leave it," He teased as you chuckled. "Though, I will miss your place since we hung out there mostly...and because we've had a lot of great moments there, as well."

Gulping, you nodded in agreement. "Yeah, yeah we did...but, you know, change is good!"

"Change is good," He agreed. "Speaking of change, Phasmas finally going to be coming in to the gallery so we can't keep having you walk around in just your underwear and one of my t-shirts-"

"That was one time-"

"Last time I checked, you've been doing it the last couple of mornings, like today-"

"Shhh...its very relaxing, okay? Don't act like you don't like it," You rolled your eyes as Ben raised his eyebrows.

"Don't? I clearly do, thank you." He snickered as you bumped your shoulder into his arm. "Anyways, this should be quick, alright?"

"Okay," You smiled, Ben opening up the door and walking in as you followed behind.

"CONGRATS!" Nearly jumping out of your skin at everyone around you cheering and whistling, your heart was lodged up your throats as your grip on Ben's hand tightened from the sudden shock.

"W-wh..."

"Sorry, my mom kinda figured everything out a while back and actually saw the ring beforehand and...yeah..." Ben shrugged as you watched with wide eyes, everyone clapping.

"But she just found-wait...since when?" You asked.

"It's a story for itself that would take a long time to explain, but in the meantime, they are very happy for us," He smiled over at you as Leia rushed up.

"I am so very excited to have a new addition to the family," She teared up as you nearly choked, almost forgetting about the pregnancy. "A new Solo!"

Hearing everyone cheer as they raised their cups, you only swallowed hard. "Welcome to the family, kiddo," Han smiled as he placed a hand on your shoulder. "I thought Ben was never going to get engaged-"

"Dad!"

"What?! It's the truth..." Being pulled away by Luke, the man gave you a smile.

"Congratulations, y/n."

"Thank you, Luke..." You nodded, taking in a deep breath. "Ben...I need-"

"YAY!" Hearing squealing, you were nearly tackled in a hug as Rey grabbed you from behind as Finn hugged you from the front, the two squishing you. "We're so happy for the two of you, although Finn was lost majority of the time-"

"Wh-what do you mean?" You asked as you tried gasping for air.

"He never knew Ben had a huge crush on you, let alone, was madly in love so I had to fill him in..." Rey shrugged as Finn nodded.

"I...uh-"

"Anyway...congrats!" Rey kissed your cheek before pulling Finn away with her.

"Ben..." Turning to him, you were about to speak up until you heard someone call out to you.

"I can't believe this!" Looking at Poe, your heart sunk. _He found out, too?_ "Congratulations! You honestly don't know how much I had to deal with him and his y/n this, y/n that...even though I was crushing on you, he had it far more worse." Blinking in confusion, you looked up at Ben who was shyly looking away. "Good to hear he made the big move." Pulling you into a hug, he then whispered, "I was well aware you were the one and only girlfriend all along, FYI." Patting your shoulder, he walked away as you gasped.

"Ben...I need to-"

"A toast! To Ben and Y/n!" Rey cheered.

"Ben, I need to talk to-"

"Oh, you two...I am so happy to hear this actually worked out!" Maz winked at you. "Fate works in marvelous ways, my dear," She whispered over to you before walking off.

Blinking, you turned your focus back to Ben as you tried catching his attention. "Ben, we seriously need to-"

"Also, this means we will be going on double dates, got it?" Rey pointed a finger at you and Ben.

"Ben, I seriously need to tell you-"

"To my son Ben, for finally getting the girl!" Han lifted up his cup as everyone clapped, you feeling more and more overwhelmed as you couldn't hold back any longer.

"BEN, IM PREGNANT!" You shouted out, causing everyone to suddenly quiet down as you instantly covered your mouth.

"You're-you're what?" He stuttered as he gazed down at you.

Feeling as if you were about to puke from embarrassment, you rushed off. It wasn't enough that _everyone_ now knew about your engagement before you were even _aware_ that they had, but now they know about the little surprise forming within you.

"WAIT!" Ben called out, looking over at everyone with slumped shoulders before rushing over to your side.

Barging into the women's bathroom, you rushed into one of the stalls and fell to your knees, puking your guts out. It didn't help that you were anxious as it was, but you were also severely nauseous, the anxiety making it far more worse.

"Y/n?" Ben softly called out as he walked over to where he heard the gagging coming from. "Aw, babe..." Crouching next to you as he helped hold your hair and rubbed your back, he left a kiss on the side of your head. "I'm sorry about all of this, I didn't mean for it to happen, but everyone found out and..." Taking in a deep breath, Ben couldn't find the will to go on.

Furrowing your eyebrows as you groaned from the burning sensation in your throat, your eyes welled up with tears. "A-and...?"

"And...now it isn't much of a secret anymore." Sighing the slightest, Ben fell back as he crossed his legs. "I intended on telling them with you but my mom has her ways and she's very sneaky so she insisted she throw something in honor. I knew it wasn't the best idea but...I didn't think it was the worst, either..."

Slowly looking over at him as you wore a small frown from how disgusted you felt, you could see how ashamed Ben was from it all. "It's-its fine...that's the least of my worries, actually..."

Seeing his eyes widened, you gulped. "You're pregnant..." He lightly spoke as you sat there, staring at him. "You're pregnant?" Nodding your head slowly, Bens eyes began blurring up with the newfound tears.

"I-I'm sorry? I...I know it's too early and I don't even know if you want children but-"

"Sorry?" He shook his head, "Why would _you_ be sorry? I contributed to this, you know?" Ben chuckled.

"But-but...I-"

"Don't blame yourself, okay? It's understandable if you don't want the child..." Narrowing your eyebrows, you blinked at his response.

"W-wait...what? You're not mad? Wait...you think I don't want the baby?" You questioned as Ben looked at you with such bewilderment.

"Of course I'm not mad! Hello, we almost had children then, and we're getting them now!" He cheered as your eyes widened in shock. "And, I mean, you don't seem excited?"

"Th-that's because I was afraid you didn't want the baby! But-but you do?" Seeing him nod, you felt the weights on your chest disappear. "You do! You do...and-and so do I?" Looking away, you thought about it, only to smile. "And so do I!"

"We're going to be parents..." He nodded as you did the same. "Oh, god...that sounds weird seeing as all this happened in just two weeks," Ben narrowed his eyebrows for a small moment, only to shrug, "It's exciting!"

Covering your mouth as you chuckled, you went to flush the toilet before standing up to go rinse your mouth. "I'm sorry I ran out like that, I was just really nervous about it all and I kind of blurted it out without thinking."

Smiling as he walked over, Ben kissed the top of your head as he wrapped his arms around your waist, leaning his chin on your shoulder. "I guess we now have more of a reason to celebrate, then." Looking up at him through the mirror, you shut off the water and turned around to hug him. "This is just like that night of Rey's engagement party...do you tend to puke at engagement parties?"

"Shut up," You chuckled as you mumbled, holding tightly onto him. "I guess I don't have to worry about telling any of them..."

"Knowing my mom, she's bawling at the moment. You don't understand how long she's been dying for me to get married and start a family of my own," Ben scoffed as you laughed. "It was about damn time you walked into my life, sweets."

Smiling up at him, you winked, "Well aren't you glad I finally did?"

"Jeez! There you two are!" Rey called out as she walked in. "First, you announce you're pregnant, which--seriously? Already? Damn you guys are moving really f-"

" _Rey_..." Ben sighed.

"Then you disappear and, out of all places, I find you in the bathroom! Don't you think it's a bit unsanitary to have s-"

"Rey!" You and Ben chimed.

"Sorry, too much to drink, no filter." She nodded as you shook your head.

"I was puking, thanks for asking."

"Oh! Morning sickness?!" Rey gasped as you looked up at Ben who simply shrugged.

Letting go of Ben and walking up to Rey, you interlocked your arm with hers. "Why don't we go back to the party, shall we?"

Watching the two of you walk off, Ben followed behind with a wide grin on his face--everything he could have ever wanted suddenly appeared in his life when he had least expected it. The fact that he had gained you and your love again, was planning on marrying you, and now was expecting a child felt like such a fantasy he never wanted to slip away from.

His heart was warm and filled with nothing but pure love; if a second life was what it took to get the life he wished for, he was thankful for the second chance.

. . .

"I can't believe your mom cried..." You chuckled as you found yourself making small braids with Bens hair as he lied on your bare stomach, gently dragging the tip of his finger along the soft skin, "And the best part is that Rey did, too. I'm honestly surprised."

"I'm not," Ben muttered.

Narrowing your eyebrows, you loosened up one of the braids and brushed your fingers through his hair. "Why not?"

"Because, even though Rey is the way she is...she has a soft spot for me and my happiness, she'll just never admit to it," He lightly laughed as you smiled. "Knowing her, she's going to want to be the aunt figure."

"And I'll gladly let her," Nodding your head, Ben lifted up his own as he smiled over at you. "What?"

Shrugging, he pressed a kiss to your stomach, "Nothing, in just very happy how everything turned out."

"Well, so am I," Grabbing Ben and pulling him over to you, you wrapped your arms around him as you kissed his cheek.

"Everything we've done, the hell I put you through, all of what we've suffered...it's lead up to this," He mumbled into your shoulder, "I can't express my gratitude enough...I just, I feel so damn lucky, I never expected my life to turn out this way in such a short amount of time." Hearing slight sniffling, your eyebrows furrowed.

"Ben?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just-" Taking in a deep breath, he smiled against your shoulder as he held tightly onto you, "I really love you and I just can't believe any of this is happening, you have no clue just how happy I am."

Grabbing onto his cheeks and looking at him, you smiled, "This is all very real; I am your fiancé soon-to-be wife, I am carrying your child," Letting out a small chuckle as Ben smiled at you, you wiped away the few tears that trickled down his cheeks, "And I really _really_ love you." Pulling him down to kiss him, you couldn't help but grin against it.

"What?" Ben mumbled against your lips.

"Nothing...it's just...I can't get over how quickly this all happened." You looked up at him. "In our other life it took us forever, but now...now it's in the matter of less than a month..."

"Fate has brought us back together-"

Flicking his nose, you rolled your eyes, "You're so cheesy." Hearing him gasp, you winked, "I like it."

Lying back down onto you as you let out a grunt, Ben nuzzled his face against your neck as you held onto him, gazing up at the ceiling--what you had right now, you wouldn't change it for the world.

. . .

"Okay, it's been about a month since Ben proposed, when's the wedding date?" Rey eagerly asked as she had been walking in and out of the kitchen, helping Leia set up the Christmas dinner.

Chuckling, you swatted a hand as you picked up one of the homemade cookies Leia had baked, "I should be asking you that."

"Shut it, you're the pregnant one, you need to get married now." Rey pointed a finger as you sat at the island table, watching Rey walk in and out.

"We're taking our time, thank you-"

"Wow? Really? You two actually taking time to do something?! No way!" Rolling your eyes as Rey faked a gasp, you tossed the stuffed elf that was sitting on the table as decoration at her.

"Leave us alone, we want to appreciate this time of being engaged, okay?"

"It isn't any different when you're married, let alone, have a _child_." Leaning her palms against the table, you sighed as you bit into the cookie. "Fine, I guess I'll have to wait..." Rey groaned as you grinned at her.

"Perfect, just like how I have to wait for your own," You winked at her as she dropped her head.

"Anyway...instead of eating all the cookies-" Snatching the plate away as you pouted, Rey placed them behind her on the counter, "Why don't you save your appetite for the dinner, you know...what comes _before_ dessert," Rolling your eyes at her mocking tone, you stood up.

"I guess I should join Ben..." You muttered as Rey laughed.

"You're way too enthusiastic! Almost as enthusiastic as you were telling your parents everything-"

"Hey, it turned out far more better than I expected...even if my grandfather was furious, my parents are supportive and _that's_ what matters." Nodding your head as you and Rey walked out of the kitchen, you instantly felt a pair of arms snake around your waist as a kiss was pressed against your cheek. "Hey, Ben."

"I expect this holiday dinner to be better than the last," He smilled as he moved over to stand in front of you, grabbing your hands.

"Well, seeing as we are spending it at your parents, I think it will." You smiled. "Although yesterday wasn't so bad being with my family...minus the whole fact that my mom kept bugging me about names and what I should name the baby..." Scrunching up your nose, Ben laughed.

"At least she's happy for us," Leaning down, he pressed a small kiss against your lips before Rey cleared her throat.

"Save the kissing for later, it's time to eat!" Looking at Ben as he slightly leaned away from the kiss, you looked over at Rey and shook your head.

"Party pooper," Grabbing your hand, Ben pulled you over to the table as you two took your seats next to one another.

"This is exciting! I can not believe everyone is here tonight! Rey and Finn, Y/n and Ben...and Jyn and Luke!" Leia pointed out only to have Rey gasp.

"Wait? What?!" Looking over her seat, she instantly shot up as she ran over to Luke and the woman you assumed to be Jyn.

"Who...who is Jyn?" You whispered to Ben.

" _She_ is Rey's mom...I thought you knew this?" He asked as you shook your head.

"No, I mean, she's mentioned her mom but I've never seen her nor heard her name before..." Staring at the three, you couldn't help but gawk.

"Not even photos?" Ben asked.

"Yeah...but, I mean...I've never met her before!" You lowly exclaimed. "Its kind of important meeting your best friends mom, you know..."

Chuckling, Ben shrugged as Rey pulled the pair over to the table. "Mom, I think it's about time that you meet-"

"Y/n? The y/n Rey and Luke always talk about?" Looking at the women, your eyes widened. "You're the one Ben has a crush on?" Seeing her smile, you nodded as Ben simply sighed.

"Mom, she's the one he's engaged to..."

"Oh! That's right! Congratulations," She nodded, "I never thought this day would come."

"I know, right?" Han snickered as Ben kicked him under the table, giving him a face while Han lifted his hands up in defense.

"How about we eat dinner, alright?" Ben spoke up as Leia nodded in agreement.

"That, we should!" Leia clapped as Luke and Jyn took a seat before everyone dug in.

The entire evening of feasting, there was nothing but laughs and stories being shared amongst plenty of embarrassing moments. You couldn't get over the thought that you were soon going to marry into this family--the family who was once split apart in their past life, only to be put back together once again.

It was heart warming, seeing all the smiles being expressed as the ambience was one of pure happiness. It was something absolutely beautiful that you couldn't possibly get used to.

"I find this all absolutely lovely," Leia spoke up, "All of us together, one big family...it's something I thought I'd never see again."

Lightly narrowing your eyebrows, you looked at Leia as she teared up, Han placing a hand on her shoulder as he spoke up. "I couldn't agree more, especially with the new additions."

"Let's not forget, having a few of us back once again," Luke shifted his eyes from Jyn to Han, then from Han to you. "It's always hard to lose those that we love."

"I couldn't agree more," Rey nodded as you quietly sat there and blinked, unable to understand as to where the conversation was going.

"Especially to those we never thought we'd get back," Luke eyed Ben as Ben lowered his head, looking down at his hand that was now holding onto yours on his lap.

"Life has strange ways of giving us back those who have sacrificed themselves for the sake of their loved ones, and I think it's quite...marvelous seeing as how we've all ended up here once again." Smiling over at you and Han, Rey sniffled the slightest.

"I-I'm confused, what's going on?" You whispered to Ben.

"You'll understand soon enough." He muttered back.

"It's amazing how the Force still surrounds us, even in this life," Looking at Leia with wide eyes, you tilted your head a bit as if you weren't one hundred percent sure you heard her right. 

"The...the F-Force?" You mumbled as Bens grip on your hand tightened. "What's...what are you trying to-" Unable to finish your sentence, you gulped as you had a sudden epiphany; thinking back to Leia's " _motherly instincts_ " and Maz's " _so you remember everything now_ " made your eyes widened as they shifted from Leia's, to the rest of the family. "You all knew?"

"Knew what?" Finn whispered as Rey elbowed him.

Seeing them one by one nod, you lightly gasped, "Since when?" Instantly standing up from the table, Ben quickly grabbed onto your hand. "Did you know about this?" Looking at Ben as you softly spoke, he slowly nodded. 

Taking a small step back, Ben swiftly stood up as he held tightly onto your hand, "Wait, I didn't tell you for a reason." Narrowing your eyebrows, Ben sighed, "My family and I...we knew for a while now, minus Finn-"

"Yeah, I was out of the blue-"

"Shh!" Rey hushed as Finn sunk into his seat.

"It was sort of a domino effect--Maz and mom had known for a while, so did Luke. Dad barely did, Rey was completely wiped out and so was I. Then there was Poe and Finn, along with Jess and the rest." Ben stated as you looked up at him, eyebrows scrunched up as you could feel his hand shaking. 

"How did they find out? How did Rey find out?" You curiously asked. "And how did Poe and Finn find out? Ben-"

"Mom and Maz wrote a book," Ben gulped. 

Leaning back the slightest as you shook your head, you arched an eyebrow, "Wrote a book? Wrote what-" Cutting yourself off, you muttered, "Soul Mate...but-but how?"

"Let's just say that the Force works in wondrous ways, even if it isn't in our universe..." Leia spoke up.

"I didn't want to say anything to you, neither did Rey, because we wanted this all to happen naturally. If this really was a second chance for all of us, then this was a second chance for you and I...and I wanted to believe that fate was real and was bound to bring us back together," Ben gazed down at you. "And it's real, it's very real... _clearly_." He chuckled as you lightly smiled.

"So...everyone was in on this? Keeping it a secret?" You asked as everyone mumbled a yes. 

"We were all very aware that you two had been secretly dating, I kind of helped give it the push as I asked for Ben to take you home that night," Rey winked.

"No, you didn't, I was the push myself when I had invited her to my place after we were stuck in traffic and soaked from the rain," Ben stated as he looked over at his cousin.

"Actually, it was I who gave the push," Leia stood up, "I told Ben to head over to Maz's to pick up some bills and what not which caused him to run into you," Leia grinned as Rey and Ben nodded with a sigh.

"She has a good point," Rey spoke up. "We all tried getting Ben to run into you, but it just never happened. All those times you visited me or we hung out, I tried getting Ben to come over but he was always busy being a business man," Rolling her eyes, Ben narrowed his eyes at her.

"Eventually it happened, alright?" Turning his attention back to you, Ben shyly smiled, messing with the engagement ring. "And now she's my fiance so everything worked out just fine." Looking at you, you only blushed.

"Okay, okay, enough of this," Han swatted a hand as he stood up, "Lets go open some gifts!" Hearing everyone instantly stand up, they made their way over to the formal living room as you and Ben stayed behind.

"If they knew all along...then why is everyone okay with one another?" You curiously asked as Ben snickered.

"You mean, why they're okay with _me_?" He looked over at you as the two of you walked side-by-side, holding hands. "After your passing, I decided to go gray, and when that happened...I sort of disassociated. I couldn't really go back home with all the trouble I caused; and as much as mom missed me, I couldn't have her men being skeptical the whole time with me being there. I just didn't feel like I belonged on any side, truly...light, dark, none of them really called to me...after everything, I just felt myself stuck in the gray zone." 

Resting your head upon his arm, you took in a deep breath, "They must've missed you...that's why they forgave you and treat you the way they do now; they didn't want to lose you again."

Nodding his head in agreement, he sighed, "I definitely don't want to leave them again." Coming to a stop, Ben turned to face you as he held onto your hands. "And I definitely do not want to lose you ever again, whether it'd be death or somebody else."

Looking up at the archway you two had been standing under where the mistletoe hung, you grinned, "I don't think that's ever going to happen." Tiptoeing as you had let go of his hands to wrap your arms around his neck, Ben leaned down the slightest, "And if it does, we'll be fine." Leaning in, you whispered just before kissing him, "Cause we're soulmates."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! If you don't mind, comment + leave kudos? Please and thanks! xo


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